. -, , . , , . , , , , - , . , . ! Darkhalf Literary Factory, 1992 ====================================================================== "" " " Relcom/USENET >Newsgroups: rec. humor. funny >From: JSL@vms. cis. pitt. edu (John Lundberg) -------------cut here--------------------------------------------------- USENET/RELCOM To: _________________________ From: _________________________ ________________________________, _____________________. , . , , , , : __ ____ : ____ ____/ __ : ____, , ____ ____ / ____ () ____ / ____ / __ ____ ____ Distribution world , ____ , ____ ____ ____ , __ , ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ , ____ __ ____ / ____ ____ ____, ____ , __ ____ / USENET/Relcom ____ USENET/Relcom ____ , ____ " " . , "", . - ( ). : , . , - - " USENET alt. sex, relcom. alt. sex ? " : " , , relcom. talk, relcom. netnews, . , " "... : , " " - - ? : - - . - , "" ( . . " "). : - - ? : . , - relcom. talk : " "... , : " "... : , : " "" - ? " : - . . - : - " ", - "". : " . . " : " ... " . . : " " " ", . - , , , : " ? - ?.. " , - . : ? : , , ! : - ? : ? ? , - , . . . ! : , - ? : , , , , - , ... : , ? : , - , . , . , "" - - " ". ! : ! . S. - , - . - . -- ]--- Freddy "Debug" Krugger ]--- , , , : " ... " " " " " . . ? , ( - " ") , " ", ( ) , ... . - - . . , - , ... , - , , , . - , , . , - , . : , , - . - , ... - , . ! - , , ... , , - , , " " , (: " ... ) . . , (Constantin F. Ocrainets) - . , - ! ! . ! , , , , . , . . "". : , 7 ... ========================================================================= *** ! *** - . , , , . . . . , -, , , , !! : -- , , ? -- ? ! . -- , , -- ! , ... : -- ! , ? -- -! -- ? -- , . , ? -- , !.. : - . - ( ) - ( ). ! ! - ... !.. : -- , - ? -- -, !!! --- : -- , ? -- , @%$?! -- ! -- , ! 4) Enter () , , , . 1986 9 . 30. - . " - " - - " - , ! , , , , ! 2" - - - ??? - - , .....................................??? : - - ! ! ! 15. 30 ! ! ===================== : -( 80x86 ----------------------------------- 01. , , 07C8h ! 02. , , , ! 03. , ! 04. CS! 05. , - ! 06. ! CX ! 07. - BIOS! 08. ! ! ! 09. INT 25h - - ! 0A. ! ! 0B. "" ! 0C. 181086 - - ! 0D. ! 0E. ! . , * * * , - . , . ________________________________________________________________ The Unofficial Smiley Dictionary -------------------------------- : -) Your basic smilie. This smilie is used to inflect a sarcastic or joking statement since we can't hear voice inflection over Unix. ; -) Winky smilie. User just made a flirtatious and/or sarcastic remark. More of a "don't hit me for what I just said" smilie. : -( Frowning smilie. User did not like that last statement or is upset or depressed about something. : -I Indifferent smilie. Better than a Frowning smilie but not quite as good as a happy smilie : -> User just made a really biting sarcastic remark. Worse than a: -). >: -> User just made a really devilish remark. >; -> Winky and devil combined. A very lewd remark was just made. Those are the basic ones... Here are some somewhat less common ones: Changing the mouth: : -[ A vampire. : -E Buck-toothed vampire. : -F Buck-toothed vampire with one tooth missing. : -7 Just made a wry statement. : -* Just ate something sour. : -@ Screaming. : -# Wears braces. : - Tongue-tied. : -Q Smoking. : -? Smoking a pipe. : -P Sticking out tongue. : -S Just made an incoherent statement. : -D Laughing out loud. : -X Lips are sealed. : -C Really bummed. : -/ Skeptical. : -o Uh-oh. : -9 Licking his/her lips. : -0 No yelling! (quiet hours in the dorm) - also an orator. : -` Spitting (tobacco). : -1 Normal. : -! Normal. : -$ Mouth wired shut. : -% Banker. : -q Trying to touch tongue to nose. : -a Same as above on other side. : -e Disappointed. : -t Cross. : -i Semi-smiley. : -] Blockhead. : -[ Unsmiley blockhead. : -} Chapped lips, or bearded. : -{ Indifferent with moustache. : -j Left smiley. : -d Left smiley razzing reader. : -k Beats me. : -\ Undecided. : -| Have a day. : -< Real sad. : -x Lips are sealed. : -c Bummed out. : -v Talking head. : -b Stincking out tongue. Changing the nose: : *) Drunk. : ^) Has a broken nose. : v) Broken nose in the other direction. : _) Nose is sliding off his/her face. : <) From an Ivy League school. : =) Two noses. : o) Clown. : u) Funny looking nose (left). : n) Funny looking nose (right). Changing the eyes: %-) Staring at the screen for 15 hours straight. 8-) Wearing sunglasses. B-) Wearing glasses (could be horn-rims). O-) Megaton, cyclops, of wearing a diving mask. . -) One-eyed. , -) Winking, one-eyed. g-) Ponce-nez glasses. Changing more than one character: |-I Sleeping. |-O Yawning. %-6 Brain dead. |^o Snoring. :, ( Crying, but without a nose. 8-| Suspenseful. Adding extra characters: :: -) Wears glasses (four eyes). B: -) Glasses on top of head. 8: -) Little girl. : -)-8 Big girl. : -{) Has moustache. : -#) Bushy moustache. {: -) Wears a toupee. }: -) Toupee in an updraft. : -)~ Drooling. : -~) Has a cold. : "-) So happy, he/she is crying. =: -) Hosehead. -: -) Punk rocker. +-: -) The Pope. `: -) Shaved off one eyebrow. ,: -) Shaved off the other eyebrow. O: -) Angel. C=: -) Chef. *<: -) Wearing a Santa Claus hat. E-: -) Ham radio operator. 8: -) Wizard. @: -) Wearing a turban. [: -) Listening to a walkman. : -)) Double chin. >: -) Devil. (: -) Big smile. +: -) Priest. : -)X Wearing a bow tie. Misc: (-: Left handed. [: ] Robot. : -{} Wearing lipstick. : "-( Crying. <|-) Chinese. <|-( Chinese, but doesn't like these kind of jokes. -: -( Real punk rockers don't smile. @= Pro-nuclear war. (8-o Mr. Bill. (From original Saturday Night Live) *: o) Bozo the Clown. 3: ] Pet smile. 3: [ Mean pet smile. d8= Beaver with goggles and hard hat. (: I Egghead. <: -I Dunce. K: P Kid with propeller beanie. : -: Mutant. Invisible. X-( Dead. [] Hugs. ~~: -( Getting flamed. O |-) Religious. 8: -I Unix wizard. >: -I Trekkie. 3: o[ Pet clown. 8 Infinity. Miniatures: : ) Standard. : ] Gleep. : @ Yelling. : D Laughing. : I Thinking. : ( Sad. : [ Really bummed. : O Talking loudly. : Q Smoking. : * Kissing. |I Sleeping. |O Yawning. : P Sticking out tongue. =) Have a nice day. Unknowns: : } : > Many characteristics of different smileys to create Mega-smileys: C=}>; *{)) A drunk, devilish chef with a toupee in an updraft, a mustache, and a double chin }: ^#}) Updrafted bushy-mustached pointy nosed smiley with a double-chin ======================================================================== ( ) (- ) -- " ". - ... - ... - , , : , , . ------------- ( ) " " 10. 10. 86 () : . . - . - . . - . - . - . - ------------------------------------------------------------- . . . - , ! . - ? . . - "6" . . - , ! . - . . . - , , . . - , . ! . . - ? . - . . - ! . . - ! . . - . , ? . - . . - ! . . . - , . . - , ? . . - . . . - ! - ? . - . . - ! . . . - , "6" . . - ! . - . . . - ! . . - . , ? . . - . . - ! . - . . . - ! . - . . - "6". . - . . - , . , . . . - , ! "7" . . - ? . . - "7" . . - ! . - . . - "7". . - . . - , . . . - , 8 ... ( . . ) , Dmitry! , 18 1993, Dmitry Baronov ====> root@kiber. vladimir. su: r>> "" r>> : "" (). D> , , ? D> "". : -( D> ! : ( "", "", "" . . ) "". , , , , "", : -- -(). "" " " ( ), . Sorry for offtopic, ... Alexander Evtushkin ============================================================================= ! , ! , , , , , , ... -... , (, ), , . , . . : - ", , , - ..., . : - , , - ! . : - ! , : - ! " " . ( ) . " " . , "... ... " . , ... " "... . The end. : ! Syncerely Yous, Mark. P. S. . --- . , . , . . , . , : - , ? - , , , ! : - ! -- , - ? . . ------------- 1. : : : , . , Extra SysOp (. ""). File , . , . . BBS, (SysOp). 2. : : : , . : increase, BBS UL/DL, , , download amount'. - ( offlin' , chat mode ). - , download'. 3. : : : . - BBS , . : , ( UL/DL, ) chat' , , -: , - . : ( 2 ) . NB: , , . . . ------------- 1. : : : , . , . . , . , . - demo. . 2. : : : profi. memory map ( ! ). - , , , . , , demo-maker', software ( - ) hacking'. - . . , . 3. : : : , ( demo intro ). , . . demo-creator' - , , ( - ). . . 4. : : : -. , , . . , , - . , . , , . . . ------------- 1. : : : - . - . , - . , , , . . , , (! ) BBS. 2. : : : Fido BBS. , . . access level upload' , . - . BBS. , . - , , . 3. : : : . assessometr' . , BBS. , chat' . --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tel: +7 (044) 271-3443 | Alexander. Y. Bazichenko 271-3556 | General Engineer. FAX: +7 (044) 271-3443 | Inkosoft Company. Internet: Bazik%Inkosoft. Kiev. ua@ussr. eu. net | P. O. Box 791/6, Kiev, Relcom: Bazik@Inkosoft. Kiev. UA | Ukraine, 252103. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- From tulase! news-server%tulase. tula. su Wed Feb 17 17: 15: 48 1993 Received: by rost. tula. su (UUPC/@ v5. 00, 25Nov92); Wed, 17 Feb 1993 17: 15: 46 +0200 Received: by tulase. tula. su; Wed, 17 Feb 93 10: 55: 11 +0300 (MSK) X-Class: Slow To: netters Sender: news-server@tulase. tula. su Newsgroups: relcom. humor From: bazik@inkosoft. kiev. ua (Alexander Bazichenko) Subject: [NEWS] !!! !!! Reply-To: bazik@inkosoft. kiev. ua Organization: SE Inkosoft Distribution: su Date: Tue, 16 Feb 1993 10: 01: 31 GMT Message-ID: Lines: 93 Status: R , ... - , . - "" . - . - - . - . - - . - . - - , . - . - ! , . - . - , . - , -69 . - . - ? - . - . - . - . - . , . - , . - , . - , . - . - , . - ! , . - ? . - , - . - 4. - , ? . - , ? , . - ! ! - ! ! - , , ? - ? - - , . - . - - , - . - , . - ! , , . - , . - ? -? - . - "" . - - . - - . - , ! -! ? - , . - . - , . - . - . - ! ! - ? . - ! ! - , . - , , . - . - . - . - ? - ! - , ! - , . - . - - , - . - , . . , . - ""! ! - . - ! - , . - ! , ! - , . - , . - ! ! - , ? , , - ! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- . . . " ? "- . " -, ". " -? ". " ". ---------------------------------------- , ... : - , ? - , - . : - , ? - , - . : - , ? - ... -- ? , . , . : - ! , . . : - ! . . - - ! ( 1001 ) -- - ! ; , , ; , "Epson! "; . . --------------------------------------------------------------- - ! - , . ------------------