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===
+ Origin: Lonely Dale's Nest (2:5030/133)
=============================================================================
Hello All!
Best regards, Boris
--- , 2.42.G0614+
* Origin: Minas Anor (2:5020/113)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 24 of 100
From : Boris Paleev 2:5020/113 23 Sep 94 15:46:34
To : All 26 Sep 94 19:55:02
Subj : . .
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Boris Paleev (2:5020/113)
* Area : SU.HUMOR (SU.HUMOR)
* From : Dimon Shvetsov, 2:5020/158.18 (Tuesday September 20 1994 22:04)
* To : All
* Subj : .
=============================================================================
Hello All!
.
1. -
.
, , ,
, .. . -, ,
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: " -...", 2, 3
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- "!-) -,
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Hi! Dimon.
=== GEcho 1.02+ Hi!
+ Origin: /103.38 AKA /158.18 /350.2 Hi from White Fang BBS! (2:5020/158.18)
=============================================================================
Hello All!
Best regards, Boris
--- , 2.42.G0614+
* Origin: Minas Anor (2:5020/113)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 26 of 100
From : Boris Paleev 2:5020/113 26 Sep 94 23:19:46
To : All 28 Sep 94 07:40:22
Subj : . ". ." -... . .
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Boris Paleev (2:5020/113)
* Area : SU.HUMOR (SU.HUMOR)
* From : Alex Cooklin, 2:5080/2 (Thursday September 22 1994 23:01)
* To : All
* Subj : " " -... .
=============================================================================
Hello All!
, ,
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Alex
=== GoldED 2.50.B0822
+ Origin: Ural Data BBS, Ekaterinburg, Russia (2:5080/2)
=============================================================================
Hello All!
Best regards, Boris
--- , 2.42.G0614+
* Origin: Minas Anor (2:5020/113)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 30 of 100
From : Dmitry Zavalishin 2:5020/32 30 Sep 94 11:00:48
To : All 30 Sep 94 16:56:24
Subj : Pure functional languages
Hello All.
I think, this message from area SU.SOFTW seems to be interesting:
--------------------------- Start Cut -------------------------
From : George Seryakoff, 2:5020/157.39 (30 Sep 94 21:36)
To : Alexander Sergeev
Subj : Pure functional languages
---------------------------------------------------------------
Hello Alexander!
16 Sep 94 14:56, Alexander Sergeev wrote to Pavel Senatorov:
AS> :
AS> 1960-e
AS> 1970-e
AS> 1980-e goto
AS> 1990-e
AS> 2000-e
:
: " 2010- - "
: ", , ..."
George
^-^ GoldED 2.42.G1219
$ MolchiGin: Origin1 (2:5020/157.39)
--------------------------- Final Cut -------------------------
Dmitry
---
* Origin: Silent Infinity Surrounds Your Mind (2:5020/32)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 31 of 100
From : Mikel Lavrentyev 2:5020/35.1 28 Sep 94 09:15:30
To : All 01 Oct 94 15:42:24
Subj : . ...
Forwarded by Dimitri Martemianov (2:5020/306.1)
Area : REL.ARTS.QWERTY (Cetus)
From : cep@step.nnov.su, 2:50/128 ( 23 1994 10:31)
To : All
Subj : ...
@REPLYADDR cep@step.nnov.su
@REPLYTO 2:50/128.0@fidonet
X-RealName: Sergey V. Durinoff
@Distribution: su
@Organization: Step Ltd.
.
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--
_____________________________________________________________________
|....... ! .......|
|. !............|
|........... ! .|
---------------------------------------------------------------------
-+-
+ Origin: Step Ltd. (2:50/128.0@fidonet)
Mikel!
4 h.f.? :)
With best regards Saruman the Advisor of Gondor
// The Hitch-Hiking Z0ne // Fire Wheelz Gr0up
-+- GoldED 2.42.G0614+
+ Origin: Orthank (095)PRI-VATE THZ RHQ 14400 (2:5020/306.1)
Mikel
--- GoldED 2.42.1219
* Origin: authorized Arvid dealer, (2:5020/35.1)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 39 of 100
From : Mikel Lavrentyev 2:5020/35.1 28 Sep 94 14:57:48
To : All 01 Oct 94 16:55:32
Subj : . - ? - 4hf?
* Forwarded by Vadim Tkachenko (2:463/21)
* Area : KIEV.ANECDOT (KIEV.ANECDOT)
* From : Andrey Ganin, 2:463/5.33 (Saturday September 24 1994 00:28)
* To : Turin Brothers
* Subj : - ? ( ).
=============================================================================
, Turin!
(20 Sep 94) Turin Brothers -> All:
.
. .
,
? (10 )
TB> By! Turin Brothers.
TB> + Origin: . (2:5020/275.50)
, -- . . {* andrey@frontline.kiev.ua *}
Cause we guarding the palace so majestic...
-+- Dread 2.42.G0214+
+ Origin: * Babylon Frontline * (2:463/5.33)
=============================================================================
Hello Mikel!
Still alive and smile stays on, Vadim Tkachenko
+ Origin: Mental Equipment (FidoNet 2:463/21)
Mikel
--- GoldED 2.42.1219
* Origin: authorized Arvid dealer, (2:5020/35.1)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 43 of 100 + 60
From : Mikel Lavrentyev 2:5020/35.1 29 Sep 94 13:22:10
To : All 01 Oct 94 17:08:32
Subj : 4hf
(6 ) :
.
.
:
- ? .
- , ? ...
Sergey
-+- GoldED 2.42.G1219
Mikel
--- GoldED 2.42.1219
* Origin: authorized Arvid dealer, (2:5020/35.1)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 45 of 100
From : Boris Paleev 2:5020/113 28 Sep 94 23:31:24
To : All 01 Oct 94 17:08:32
Subj :
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Boris Paleev (2:5020/113)
* Area : SU.HUMOR (SU.HUMOR)
* From : Tony Leontyev, 2:5020/231.19 (Wednesday September 28 1994 00:05)
* To :
* Subj :
=============================================================================
Buenos dias, , , , !
1992, No. 1(25) *** HUMOR *** : ..
**********************************************************************
80x86
-----------------------------------
01. , , 07C8h !
02. ,
, , !
03. , !
04. CS!
05. , -
!
06. ! CX
!
07. -
BIOS!
08. !
! !
09.
INT 25h - -
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, -
,
-
,
,
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===============================================================
Luck n' Love,
Tony aka Jet Fraer, former STARBASE Navigator
=== Paranoic Mail Reader
+ Origin: I was young & foolish then-I feel old & foolish now. (2:5020/231.19)
=============================================================================
Hello All!
Best regards, Boris
--- , 2.42.G0614+
* Origin: Minas Anor (2:5020/113)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 56 of 100
From : Mikel Lavrentyev 2:5020/35.1 30 Sep 94 07:53:52
To : All 04 Oct 94 21:25:28
Subj : 2 4 HF.
Intro :
Song :
Cycles For Nothing
(i want my
i want my
i want my X-MP!)
Now look at them yo-yo's that's
the way you do it
You run the fortran on the X-MP
That ain't hackin' that's the way
you do it
Cycles for nothin', gigabits for free
Now that ain't hackin' that's the way
you do it
Lemme tell ya them guys ain't dumb
Maybe Monte Carlo on a three-quark
system
Maybe design a little neutron bomb
We gotta install microwave uplinks
Custom fuzzballs for everyone
We gotta link up DDS circuits
BERT and loopback tests to run
See the kid professor with the blue
jeans and the necktie
Yeah buddy that's his own hair
That kid professor got his Nobel
prize now
That kid professor he's a millionaire
We gotta install microwave uplinks
Custom fuzzballs for everyone
We gotta link up DDS circuits
BERT and loopback tests to run
I shoulda stuck to writing in fortran
I shoulda kept that old 029
Look at that output, he got it stacked
up to the ceilin'
I bet he ain't read one line
And in there, what's that?
A hundred postdocs?
Bangin' on the keyboards like some
chimpanzees
That ain't hackin' that's the way you
do it
Cycles for nothin', gigabits for free
We gotta install microwave uplinks
Custom fuzzballs for everyone
We gotta link up DDS circuits
BERT and loopback tests to run
by Matt Crawford
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Title : Software for Nothing
Original : Money for Nothing
Group : Dire Straits
Author : Brent CJ Britton
Intro :
Song :
Software for Nothing
====================
by: Brent CJ Britton
With appoligies to Mark Knopfler.
I waaaant my.. I waaaant my... I waaaant my C-R-T......
Now look at them hackers,
That's the way ya' do it.
Ya' play with mem'ry that you cannot see.
Now that ain't workin, that's the way ya do it.
Get your software for nothing and your chips for free.
Now that ain't workin, gotta CPU-it.
Let me tell ya, them guys ain't dumb.
Maybe crash the system with your little finger,
Maybe crash the system with your thumb.
We got to install micro-data-bases,
Gotta make things run like a breeeeze.
We gotta help these foreign students,
We gotta help these mindless E.E.'s...
The little Hacker with the Pepsi and the Munchos:
Yeah, buddy, don't like to SHARE...
The little Hacker got his own compiler,
The little guy don't change his underwear.
We got to install the latest debugger,
Under budget, and optimiiiiiiized.
We got to have more muddy-black coffee,
We got a green glow in our eyyyyyyes...
I shoulda' learned to play with Pascal.
I shoulda' learned to program some.
Look at that drive, I'm gonna stick it on the channel,
Man, it's better than the old one...
And who's up there, what's that? Beeping noises?
He's bangin on the keyboard like a chimpanze.
Oh that aint workin, that's the way ya do it,
Get your software for nothin', get your chips for free.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Title : Tap My Wire
Original : Light my Fire
Group : The Doors
Author : Maarten Loss <90406025@hse.nl>
Intro : In addition to the neverending flow of hack-n-roll songs,
I decided to post this one. It's based on the all time
Doors-hit "Light my fire".
Song :
Tap my wire (the more's)
~~~~~~~~~~
You know that I would be untrue
You know that I would be a 'foo'
If I was to say to you
We couldn't hack ourselves to root
Come on hackers tap a wire
Come on hackers tap a wire
Try to set the mode-bits higher
The time to sit and watch is gone
No time to linger in the shell
Try to make crack-programs run
Yes we will make the tty's bell
Come on hackers tap a wire
Come on hackers tap a wire
Try to set the mode-bits higher
>---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Best regards, 73!, 88! ;), Sergey.
---
-+- GoldED 2.40+
Mikel
--- GoldED 2.42.1219
* Origin: authorized Arvid dealer, (2:5020/35.1)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 58 of 100 + 59
From : Mikel Lavrentyev 2:5020/35.1 30 Sep 94 07:53:28
To : All 04 Oct 94 21:25:32
Subj : 4 HF.
Construction project, Atomic Bomb
The following paper is taken from The journal of
Irreproducible Results, Volume 25/Number 4/1979. P.O. Box 234
Chicago Heights, Illinois 60411 Subscription's 1 year for $3.70
1. INTRODUCTION
Worldwide controversy has been generated recently from
several court decisions in the United States which have
restricted popular magazines from printing articles which
describe how to make an atomic bomb. The reason usually given by
the courts is that national security would be compromised if such
information were generally available. But, since it is commonly
known that all of the information is publicly available in most
major metropolitan libraries, obviously the court's officially
stated position is covering up a more important factor; namely,
that such atomic devices would prove too difficult for the
average citizen to construct. The United States courts cannot
afford to insult the vast majorities by insinuating that they do
not have the intelligence of a cabbage, and thus the "official"
press releases claim national security as a blanket restriction.
The rumors that have unfortunately occurred as a result of
widespread misinformation can (and must) be cleared up now, for
the construction project this month is the construction of a
thermonuclear device, which will hopefully clear up any
misconceptions you might have about such a project. We will see
how easy it is to make a device of your very own in ten easy
steps, to have and hold as you see fit, without annoying
interference from the government or the courts.
The project will cost between $5,000 and $30,000 dollars,
depending on how fancy you want the final product to be. Since
last week's column, "Let's Make a Time Machine", was received so
well in the new step-by-step format, this month's column will
follow the same format.
2. CONSTRUCTION METHOD
1. First, obtain about 50 pounds (110 kg) of weapons grade
Plutonium at your local supplier (see NOTE 1). A nuclear power
plant is not recommended, as large quantities of missing
Plutonium tends to make plant engineers unhappy. We suggest that
you contact your local terrorist organization, or perhaps the
Junior Achievement in your neighborhood.
2. Please remember that Plutonium, especially pure, refined
Plutonium, is somewhat dangerous. Wash your hands with soap and
warm water after handling the material, and don't allow your
children or pets to play in it or eat it. Any left over
Plutonium dust is excellent as an insect repellant. You may wish
to keep the substance in a lead box if you can find one in your
local junk yard, but an old coffee can will do nicely.
3. Fashion together a metal enclosure to house the device. Most
common varieties of sheet metal can be bent to disguise this
enclosure as, for example, a briefcase, a lunch pail, or a Buick.
Do not use tinfoil.
4. Arrange the Plutonium into two hemispheral shapes, separated
by about 4 cm. Use rubber cement to hold the Plutonium dust
together.
5. Now get about 100 pounds (220 kg) of trinitrotoluene (TNT).
Gelignite is much better, but messier to work with. Your helpful
hardware man will be happy to provide you with this item.
6. Pack the TNT around the hemisphere arrangement constructed in
step 4. If you cannot find Gelignite, fell free to use TNT
packed in with Playdo or any modeling clay. Colored clay is
acceptable, but there is no need to get fancy at this point.
7. Enclose the structure from step 6 into the enclosure made in
step 3. Use a strong glue such as "Crazy Glue" to bind the
hemisphere arrangement against the enclosure to prevent
accidental detonation which might result from vibration or
mishandling.
8. To detonate the device, obtain a radio controlled (RC) servo
mechanism, as found in RC model airplanes and cars. With a
modicum of effort, a remote plunger can be made that will strike
a detonator cap to effect a small explosion. These detonatior
caps can be found in the electrical supply section of your local
supermarket. We recommend the "Blast-O-Mactic" brand because
they are no deposit-no return.
9. Now hide the completed device from the neighbors and
children. The garage is not recommended because of high humidity
and the extreme range of temperatures experienced there. Nuclear
devices have been known to spontaneously detonate in these
unstable conditions. The hall closet or under the kitchen sink
will be perfectly suitable.
10. Now you are the proud owner of a working thermonuclear
device! It is a great ice-breaker at parties, and in a pinch,
anc be used for national defense.
3. THEORY OF OPERATION
The device basically works when the detonated TNT compresses
the Plutonium into a critical mass. The critical mass then
produces a nuclear chain recation similar to the domino chain
reaction (discussed in this column, "Dominos on the March",
March, 1968). The chain reaction then promptly produces a big
thermonuclear reaction. And there you have it, a 10 megaton
explosion!
4. NEXT MONTH'S COLUMN
In next month's column, we will learn how to clone your
neighbor's wife in six easy steps. This project promises to be
an exciting weekend full of fun and profit. Common kitchen
utensils will be all you need. See you next month!
5. NOTES
1. Plutonium (PU), atomic number 94, is a radioactive metallic
element formed by the decay of Neptunium and is similar in
chemical structure to Uranium, Saturium, Jupiternium, and Marisum.
6. PREVIOUS MONTH'S COLUMNS
1. Let's Make Test Tube Babies! May, 1979
2. Let's Make a Solar System! June, 1979
3. Let's Make a Economic Recession! July, 1979
4. Let's Make an Anti-Gravity Machine! August, 1979
5. Let's Make Contact with an Alien Race! September, 1979
Best regards, 73!, 88! ;), Sergey.
-+- GoldED 2.40+
+ Origin: , -, ! (2:5020/268.5)
Mikel
--- GoldED 2.42.1219
* Origin: authorized Arvid dealer, (2:5020/35.1)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 59 of 100 - 58
From : Mikel Lavrentyev 2:5020/35.1 30 Sep 94 07:53:46
To : All 04 Oct 94 21:25:34
Subj : 4 HF.
By: Andrew Kovalev
To: All
Re: Songs.1
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Title : VAX Raphosdy
Original : Bohemian Rhapsody
Group : Queen
Author : Russell Street
Intro :
Song :
VAX Raphosdy
------------
Is this the real login:?
Is it a trap?
Caught on a terminal
No escape from the committee
Open your mail
Look up to the skies
And see...
I'm just a poor hacker,
I need no sympathy
Because I'm easy come, easy go
Little high, little low
Hit me where the wind blows,
Doesn't really matter to me, to me
Momma, just killed a VAX
Type a command into the shell,
Hit RETURN, now it's dead
Momma, my account had just begun
And now I've gone and thrown it all away
Momma, didn't mean to make you crash
If I'm not back on this time tomorrow
Hack on, hack on as if nothing really matters
Too late -- my time has come
Sent shivers down my spine
Bodies aching all the time
Goodbye everybody, I've got to go
Got to leave you all behind and face the truth
Momma, (every way the wind blows)
I don't wanna kicked off,
I sometimes wish I'd never logged on at all
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Title : UNIX
Original : Money
Group : Pink Floyd
Author : Jim Flanagan
Intro : In the spirit of the UNIX rock adaptations, I drag this
out.
Song :
UNIX* [To the tune of _Money_ by Pink Floyd]
----
UNIX, it's a gas;
grab that VAX with
both hands and
make it crash.
UNIX, it's a hit;
Don't give me that
PC DOS Bullshit.
I'm into well benchmarked
POSIX Open Systems
I think I need a RISC chip.
UNIX, jmp back;
I'm all niced now
pop your frame off of
my stack.
*UNIX is a trademark of AT&T
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Title : Write in C
Original : Let it Be
Group : Beatles
Author :
Intro :
Song :
Write in C
When I find my code in tons of trouble,
Friends and colleagues come to me,
Speaking words of wisdom:
"Write in C."
As the deadline fast approaches,
And bugs are all that I can see,
Somewhere, someone whispers:
"Write in C."
Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, oh, Write in C.
LOGO's dead and buried,
Write in C.
I used to write a lot of FORTRAN,
For science it worked flawlessly.
Try using it for graphics!
Write in C.
If you've just spent nearly 30 hours
Debugging some assembly,
Soon you will be glad to
Write in C.
Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, yeah, Write in C.
Only wimps use BASIC.
Write in C.
Write in C, Write in C
Write in C, oh, Write in C.
Pascal won't quite cut it.
Write in C.
Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, yeah, Write in C.
Don't even mention COBOL.
Write in C.
(and what about C++ ?)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Title : The Alternative Wall
Original : The Wall
Group : Pink Floyd
Author : ?
Intro : Here's a set of pseudosongs which is the
result of several long
drunken nights talking on a bulletin board
between London &
Aberystwyth (220+ miles apart)... circa 1988.
Song :
The Alternative Wall:-
Established by:- Anarchy, Atropos, White,
Roadrunner>>>++>>, & Giant Hogweed.
Nobody On
---------
I got keyboard corns on my fingers,
I got a Ethernet Pad for a brain,
I got a VDU to prop up my mortal remains.
My programs always fail,
I got a strong urge to MAIL
But I got no-one to MAIL to,
MAIL to,
MAIL to..
Oh, babe, when I send down the phone,
There's still nobody on...
The Alternative Wall, Part Two.
Does anybody here remember DEC?
Remember how the manual
Was useless to me
In every way.
UNIX, what has become of you?
Can any other O/S be quite as slow as you...
The Alternative Wall, Part Three.
The Trial
---------
Good Morning, ROOT, your honour,
The dump will plainly show the user who now stands before
you
Was caught red-handed in the system
Crudely hacking in a truly vicious nature
This will not do!
CALL THE LOGFILE!
"I always said he'd come to no good didn't I, ROOT, your
honour,
If they let me have my way I'd have him banned from the
VAX!
But my hands were tied,
The bleeding hearts and artists
Not to mention the Dave Prices
Wouldn't let me throw him off!"
-- Dedicated to Atropos The Wanderer.
The Alternative Wall, Part Four.
The UNIX Login Software
-----------------------
Is there anybody out there?
(repeat ad nauseam)
The Alternative Wall, Part Five.
One of My Hacks
---------------
Log onto the system
On that lurid green screen
You'll find there's no response!
Don't look so frightened,
this is just a passing crash,
One of my bad hacks!
Would you like to watch TV,
Well, that's no use to me
I want to watch you squirm
As you try to get logged on!
Do you want to call the OPS,
Do you think it's time I stopped?
Why are you running away?
The Alternative Wall, Part Six.
Filled Up Spaces / What Shall We Do Now?
----------------------------------------
What shall we use to trash
The filled up spaces on the archive tape?
How should I hack and leave no traces,
How shall the system completely fall?
The Alternative Wall, Part Seven.
Uncomfortably Numb
------------------
Hello, is there anybody on here?
I'm here but can you see me?
Is there anyone at home?
C'mon now, I hear that MIST is down,
I can ease the pain, maybe bring it up again.
Relax, I need some information first,
Just the basic facts, have you hacked the system Snurt?
There is no shell, your call is clearing,
The distant chips smoke on the breadboard,
You are only coming through off pads,
Your fingers move but I can't see what you're typing.
When I was a child I caught a virus,
My filebase swelled just like two balloons
Now I've got that feeling once again,
I can't explai(core dumped), you would not understand,
This is not how I am.
I have become uncomfortably numb.
The Alternative Wall, Part Eight.
In a Flash
----------
So ya
Thought ya
Might like to
Go to the show
To feel the thrill of board hacking,
That luminescent glow.
I've got some bad news for you, sunshine
OPS not around, 'cos Node 5 is down,
And they sent us along, they've gone to the bar,
And we're going to find out who you guys
Really are.
Have we got any oppos on the system tonight?
Grep 'em up against the wall.
There's one on Bullet,
He don't look right to me,
Grep him up agaist the wall.
That one's called Badger,
And that one's Tyrone,
Who let all this riffraff on their own;
There's one smoking a joint and
Another with sandals?
If I had my way
I'd have all of you shot.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Title : Unix Man
Original : Nowhere Man
Group : Beatles
Author : Brad Morrison
Intro :
Song :
UNIX Man (to The Beatles' "Nowhere Man")
--------
He's a real UNIX Man
Sitting in his UNIX LAN
Making all his UNIX .plans
For nobody
Knows the blocksize from 'du'
Cares not where /dev/null goes to
Isn't he a bit like you
And me?
UNIX Man, don't worry
It's the tube that's blurry
UNIX Man
The new kernel boots, just like you had planned
He's as wise as he can be
Programs in lex, yacc and C
UNIX Man, can you help me
At all?
UNIX Man, please listen
My printout is missin'
UNIX Man
The wo-o-o-orld is your 'at' command
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Title : Waiting for The Sun
Original : Waiting for The Sun
Group : The Doors
Author : Jamie Mason
Intro : This one is dedicated to all you folks who have inadequate, slow
computing facilties. (We don't! We just got an upgrade! :-)
Song :
Waiting for the Sun (by Jamie Mason, to the Doors tune of the same name)
-------------------
At first flash of daylight,
We're still hacking in C.
Sitting there
Bashing one last Bug
Waiting for the Sun,
Waiting for the Sun,
Waiting for the Sun.
Can't you feel it,
Now that work is due,
That it's time to
Fight for some CPU
Waiting for the Sun,
Waiting for the Sun,
Waiting for the Sun.
Waiting for the Sun.
Waiting... Waiting... Waiting... Waiting...
Waiting... Waiting... Waiting... Waiting...
Waiting for Make is
Such a bore.
Waiting for a.out to
Stop dumping core...
Waiting for some cycles
All day long.
Waiting for adb to tell me what went wrong.
This is the strangest
Bug I've ever known.
Can't you feel it,
Now that work is due,
That it's time to fight
For some CPU
Waiting for the Sun,
Waiting for the Sun,
Waiting for the Sun.
Waiting for the Sun.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Title : Gateway To Heaven
Original : Stairway To Heaven
Group : Led Zeppelin
Author : EileenET Tronolone
Intro : I just had to send it in, fellas. I'm sorry. I could not let all
that stuff go by and not send it in.
Song :
Gateway To Heaven
There's a lady who knows
All the systems and nodes
And she's byteing a Gateway to Heaven
She telnets there, she knows
All the ports have been closed
With a nerd she can get
Files she came for
Woohoohoo
Woo Hoo Hoo HooHoo
And she's byteing a Gateway to Heaven
There's an motd
But she wants to be sure
Cos she knows sometimes hosts have
Two domains
In a path by the NIC
There's a burdvax that pings
Sometimes all of our flames
are cross-posted
Woohoohoo
Woo Hoo Hoo HooHoo
And she's byteing a Gateway to Heaven
And it's processed by root
Unix Labs will reboot
NCR will then listen to reason
And a prompt will respawn
For those yet to logon
And the networks will echo much faster
Woohoohoo
Woo Hoo Hoo HooHoo
And she's byteing a Gateway to Heaven
If there's a lookup in your netstat
don't be .alarmed now
it's just a pinging from the link queen
Yes there are two routes you can type in
but in the long run
there's still time to change the net you're on
(I hope so!)
And as we find stuff to download
We ftp and we chmod
There was a sysadm we know
Who changed the server to her own
She had root privs and she used chown
She hacked out on the DDN
And if you tail her stdin
Then you will find what you had lost
And get it back with cpio
To be a hack and not to scroll...
And she's byteing a Gateway to Heaven
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Title : Berkeley 4.3
Original : Yellow Submarine
Group : Beatles
Author : Jim Finnis
Intro : [fragment]
Song :
In the RAM
where I was forked,
lived a ROM,
who sailed the C...
And he told,
me of his life,
in the Berkeley,
4.3...
We all live in the Berkeley 4.3,
Berkeley 4.3, Berkeley 4.3.
We all live in the Berkeley 4.3,
Berkeley 4.3, Berkeley 4.3.
((c) White the Wizard productions Ltd, 1987)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Title : Cycles For Nothing
Original : Money For Nothing
Group : Dire Straits
---
-+- GoldED 2.40+
Mikel
--- GoldED 2.42.1219
* Origin: authorized Arvid dealer, (2:5020/35.1)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 65 of 100
From : Mikel Lavrentyev 2:5020/35.1 03 Oct 94 08:58:26
To : All 04 Oct 94 21:25:38
Subj : .
* Forwarded by Sergey Jhukov (2:5045/18)
* Area : FE.SEX (FE.SEX)
* From : Ilya Bartkoff, 2:5045/6 (28 Sep 94 16:50)
* To : All
* Subj :
=============================================================================
@RealName:
Hi, !
"" -
. ;)
;) . - , ,
. -
?
, . , - ! -
!
, ! - ( , ;)
- ! !!! ! " "! !
!? , , ! :)
- ! ! ! ...! ,
, - .
- , !
! ! , .
, - .
, ,
! ( ;)
, ... !
- ... ...
, ??!!
, , - !
!
BiB.
-+- GoldED/2 2.50.A0531+
+ Origin: - ? (2:5045/6)
=============================================================================
Hello, Mikel!
4hf ? :)
, Sergey
-+- GoldED/2 2.50.B0822+
+ Origin: Security Center (423)226-5675 w.t.- +7(msk) 23:00-8:00 (2:5045/18)
Mikel
--- GoldED 2.42.1219
* Origin: authorized Arvid dealer, (2:5020/35.1)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 68 of 100
From : Leo V. Mironoff 2:5020/293 03 Oct 94 15:07:10
To : All 05 Oct 94 15:52:52
Subj : ...
Forwarded by Leo V. Mironoff (2:5020/293)
Area : RU.ANEKDOT (RU.ANEKDOT)
From : Svetlana Shashkova (2:5045/7.7), Thursday September 29 1994 12:16
Subj : ...
- , ?
?
- , ? , , .
,
.
--- copy con com3
* Origin: - The Endless Quest - (2:5020/293)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 73 of 100
From : Boris Paleev 2:5020/113 03 Oct 94 20:18:28
To : All 05 Oct 94 21:11:26
Subj : . ...
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Boris Paleev (2:5020/113)
* Area : RU.ANEKDOT (RU.ANEKDOT)
* From : Vladimir Lavrov, 2:5020/130 (Friday September 30 1994 12:06)
* To : All
* Subj : ...
=============================================================================
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Vladimir Lavrov (2:5020/130)
* Area : SU.HUMOR (SU.HUMOR)
* From : KIRill Tereshenko, 2:5020/194.23 ( 28 1994 17:49)
* To : Alexander Minin
* Subj : ...
=============================================================================
Alexander!
24 Sep 94, Alexander Minin ----> KIRill Tereshenko:
< >
,
:
- .
- !
-?
- - !
Best regards, WANDERER
-+- GolDED 2.40+7(095)Nice
+ Origin: - - ... (2:5020/194.23)
=============================================================================
, All!
!
.
.
=== .
+ Origin: Lubertsy Russia MailOnly 22:00-09:30 (2:5020/130)
=============================================================================
Hello All!
Best regards, Boris
--- , 2.42.G0614+
* Origin: Minas Anor (2:5020/113)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 80 of 100
From : Mikel Lavrentyev 2:5020/35.1 05 Oct 94 10:38:58
To : All 06 Oct 94 04:54:56
Subj : Losung
()
!
()
!
()
!
()
!
()
- !
()
!
()
!
___
Mikel
--- GoldED 2.42.1219
* Origin: authorized Arvid dealer, (2:5020/35.1)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 84 of 100
From : Mikel Lavrentyev 2:5020/35.1 05 Oct 94 20:36:04
To : All 09 Oct 94 00:01:42
Subj : Army
( -1046). ( :-)
:
-
?
- , ...
- , , - ,
.
Dimon
-+- 2.42.G0214+
+ Origin: . (2:463/380.1)
Mikel
--- GoldED 2.42.1219
* Origin: authorized Arvid dealer, (2:5020/35.1)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 85 of 100
From : Mikel Lavrentyev 2:5020/35.1 05 Oct 94 20:35:36
To : All 09 Oct 94 00:01:44
Subj : . . - 4hf?
* Area : REL.HUMOR (REL.HUMOR)
* From : goo@sivka.carrier.kiev.ua, 2:50/128 (Thursday September 22 1994 14:35)
* To : All
* Subj : .
=============================================================================
.
-+-
+ Origin: Consumers' Association Mercury (2:50/128.0@fidonet)
=============================================================================
Hello Mikel!
Still alive and smile stays on, Vadim Tkachenko
+ Origin: Mental Equipment (FidoNet 2:463/21)
Mikel
--- GoldED 2.42.1219
* Origin: authorized Arvid dealer, (2:5020/35.1)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 86 of 100 - 60 + 87
From : Mikel Lavrentyev 2:5020/35.1 06 Oct 94 09:10:20
To : All 09 Oct 94 00:23:06
Subj : 4HF
* Area : RU.ANEKDOT (RU.ANEKDOT)
* From : Igor Mynkin, 2:5000/26.19 (28 Sep 94 13:01)
* To : Turin Brothers
* Subj : , , , !
=============================================================================
Hello Turin!
I.
:
- 4()
- 4
- - 15
, N=4
- -
N=1 , 5
N=4.
II.
,
, .
:
- .
:
- , .
III (, ).
() ()
. - , ; ,
- ...
, , - " " -
.
- ().
., .: , , ?...
.: ( ) -,
.
, , etc.
. ( ): ,
. ( ): , , .
. (:- ) : ?!
.: -, .
-, .
-, .
,
Igor
-+-
+ Origin: - (2:5000/26.19)
=============================================================================
Hello Mikel!
.
Best regards,
Vsevolod
-+- (C) 1994 Vsevolod Shabad
+ Origin: , ! (c) (2:5020/202)
Mikel
--- GoldED 2.42.gamma
* Origin: authorized Arvid dealer, (2:5020/35.1)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 88 of 100 - 87
From : Mikel Lavrentyev 2:5020/35.1 06 Oct 94 09:13:26
To : All 09 Oct 94 00:23:10
Subj : 4hf
* Area : SU.HUMOR
* From : Alexey Kulentsov, 2:5020/216.6 (01 94, ; 12:40)
* To : Dmitry Ilchyshyn, 2:5020/114
* Subj :
===============================================================================
Hello Dmitry!
Friday September 23 1994, Dmitry Ilchyshyn writes to Alexey Kulentsov:
DI> [Some voodoo talks skipped...]
AK>> ... -- ! QEMM.
DI> UMB ! QEMM.
1 (
UMB) . QEMM,
Lastbyte, UMBDRVR HDWUMB.
EMM386,
, .
QEMM UMBDRVR. UMBDRVR
UMB , QEMM
UMBDRVR.
HDWUMB LastByte. LastByte
,
. HDWUMB , ,
LastByte, .
HDWUMB QEMM. QEMM
upgrade, HDWUMB , . -
HDWUMB , , QEMM
.
, . QEMM
HDWUMB
, . HDWUMB
. 3 , HDWUMB ,
. , ,
, . ,
QEMM,
, -
. , HDWUMB upgrade,
QEMM.
,
HIME, GreenPeace "
UMB!" " !".
"" .
,
.
-=- GoldED 2.42.G1121
+ Origin: -=:Akul:=- (2:5020/216.6)
===============================================================================
Mikel!
, Gleb
-+-
+ Origin: . (2:5020/114)
Mikel
--- GoldED 2.42.gamma
* Origin: authorized Arvid dealer, (2:5020/35.1)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 93 of 100
From : Mikel Lavrentyev 2:5020/35.1 07 Oct 94 11:50:22
To : All 09 Oct 94 00:45:20
Subj : "Army Of Lovers"
* Area : IV.GENERAL (IV.GENERAL)
* From : Dmitriy Zykov, 2:5026/6 (05 Oct 94 15:00)
* To : Andrey Vasilev
* Subj : "Army Of Lovers"
=============================================================================
Hi Andrey!
In a msg of <05 Oct 94>, Andrey Vasilev writes to Dmitriy Zykov:
DZ>> , . . , ;)
AV> :-). , .
. "Army Of Lovers" "
" ( -
SM AS ). - "". ,
, ""? "", ""?
, , ,
" " ( , ""
).
- " "? .
, - " "? ,
, -
" ( ) "? .
, -
, "
" -
... --... ( - ).
- ? ,
,
.
.
, , , "". ,
(" !"),
.
"Army Of Lovers" (aka " ").
, , -
, - .
- ,
, ( ) " ",
, " ".
AV> . :-)
. :)
AV> + Origin: - . (0932)-32-3427 (2:5026/10)
- " - " :)
Good Luck! :)mitriy
-+- GoldED 2.40+
+ Origin: - " ..." (2:5026/6)
=============================================================================
Hi Mikel!
?
Good Luck! :)mitriy
Mikel
--- GoldED 2.42.gamma
* Origin: authorized Arvid dealer, (2:5020/35.1)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 98 of 100
From : Mikel Lavrentyev 2:5020/35.1 07 Oct 94 10:44:54
To : All 09 Oct 94 00:45:22
Subj : . .: "...... ... ..... ... ... ... ... .... H. ..... ...."
* Area : REL.HUMOR (REL.HUMOR)
* From : alex@vabank.oryol.su, 2:50/128 (Saturday October 01 1994 12:16)
* To : All
* Subj : : " "
=============================================================================
@REPLYADDR alex@vabank.oryol.su
@REPLYTO 2:50/128.0@fidonet
X-RealName: "Alex Olkhovoy"
Subject: : " "
@Organization: Va-Bank Television Company
. ,
.
. ,
, . ..., ,
.
..., -, ,
, , ,
, , ,
, -
, , -
. .
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.
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,
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!
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.
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, .
.
.
.
. -
.
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:
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?
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- , . .
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- , .
- -, - , - -
.
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. .
.
- - ... , - .
- ..., ... - ... !!! -. -, -
.
- --, --! - . -
:
- , . -. --!
:
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, ,
:
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, .
.
- : " "
. , :
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--
Alex Olkhovoy, VA-BANK Television Company
E-mail : alex@vabank.oryol.su, Fido: 2:5027/9
Voice : +7-086-224-2703(h) OR +7-086-229-6034(w)
-+-
+ Origin: Va-Bank Television Company (2:50/128.0@fidonet)
=============================================================================
Hello Mikel!
IMHO, :-)
Still alive and smile stays on, Vadim Tkachenko
+ Origin: Mental Equipment (FidoNet 2:463/21)
Mikel
--- GoldED 2.42.gamma
* Origin: authorized Arvid dealer, (2:5020/35.1)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 43 of 100
From : Leo V. Mironoff 2:5020/293 07 Oct 94 20:35:24
To : All 12 Oct 94 01:19:58
Subj : 4hf? . ". . ."
Forwarded by Leo V. Mironoff (2:5020/293)
Area : .LVM.NETMAIL (Personal netmail)
From : Basil Dolmatov (2:5020/140.1), Saturday October 08 1994 12:04
Subj : 4hf? " "
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Basil Dolmatov (2:5020/140.1)
* Area : RU.ANEKDOT (RU.ANEKDOT)
* From : Volodya Yuferev, 2:5052/3.10 (30 Sep 94 12:02)
* To : All
* Subj : " "
=============================================================================
, All!
, .
:
- ! " ",
.
.
- . .
, , , :
- ! .
.
:
- , , -
.
, :
- ?
- , ?
- , .
- , ?
- , ! , , , :
, , - , , -
, , - , , , ,
, ... .
:
- , ?
- . , .
- , , ?
... ...
- , - !
- ?
- , .
. :
- , !
. :
- , !
. :
- , !
:
- , !
,-
Volodya
-+- ifmail v.2.4
+ Origin: MARBIOPHARM, Joshkar-Ola (2:5052/3.10@fidonet)
=============================================================================
Hello Leo!
Cheers, Basil (The Edifying Cat)
Nothing special
. Origin: Edifying Cat Point Station (2:5020/140.1)
--- copy con com3
* Origin: - The Endless Quest - (2:5020/293)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 1 of 100 + 62
From : Mikel Lavrentyev 2:5020/35.1 11 Oct 94 16:41:40
To : All 13 Oct 94 14:32:12
Subj : 4 h f
* Area : SU.HUMOR (.)
* From : Kostya Kosov, 2:5020/269.8 (Monday October 03 1994 17:16)
* To : All
* Subj :
=============================================================================
, All!
, .
... ,
, ...
----------------------------------------------------
( )
. " ."
FIDO (. .1,6), -
Relcom :), (
Relcom):
", All!"
( : " All!") --
FIDO
.
Relcom , -- .
" " -- . area - --
.
" " (. "") -- . . (net)mail - () --
FIDO. ,
FIDO
(. " ", " " ..).
" " -- . policy -
FIDOnet policy -- ,
FIDO . .
.
" " -- . SysOp (System Operator).
Relcom -- .
"" -- ()
FIDOnet. *** Relcom.
"" -- . FREQ. . Relcom:
" uucp".
"" -- . nodelist. BBS (). Relcom
-- " ".
----------------------------------------------------
Bye!
, Kostya Kosov
: 03 1994, 17:16
Gol, 2.50.B0822+ .
. Origin: Ranger's BBS - 913-23-06 - 24h - 19200/ZyX (2:5020/269.8)
=============================================================================
Hello Mikel !
:-)
Igor
-+- GoldED 2.42.G0614+
+ Origin: I think I'm a banana tree... (2:50/321)
Mikel
--- GoldED 2.42.gamma
* Origin: authorized Arvid dealer, (2:5020/35.1)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 5 of 100 - 4 + 6
From : Mikel Lavrentyev 2:5020/35.1 11 Oct 94 12:38:58
To : All 13 Oct 94 14:32:14
Subj : 4hf
* Area : MISTRESS.RUS (MISTRESS.RUS)
* From : Nadia Yacik, 2:5020/78.1 (06 Oct 94 00:04)
* To : All
* Subj :
=============================================================================
All!
"
"
.1. , .
. .1 - , 50 . .
.2 , , .
.3 , , - ,
.
.4 ,
.
.5
. :
- .
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:
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.. 3 4
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, , .
.10 , .. 3 4
. ,
.
.11 , ,
. , ,
.
: , ,
,
: " ".
Nadia.
-+- GoldED 2.40+
+ Origin: <<+Handicraft+>> (2:5020/78.1)
=============================================================================
Larisa
-+- GoldED 2.42.G0614+
+ Origin: --- Wild white cat --- (2:5020/35.4)
Mikel
--- GoldED 2.42.gamma
* Origin: authorized Arvid dealer, (2:5020/35.1)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 6 of 100 - 5 + 48
From : Mikel Lavrentyev 2:5020/35.1 11 Oct 94 16:47:44
To : All 13 Oct 94 14:32:16
Subj : 4hf
NSK.GENERAL (2:5000/9.9) NSK.GENERAL
Msg : 203 of 204
From : Vladimir Barkalov 2:5000/41.13 26 Sep 94 22:11:06
To : All 27 Sep 94 10:00:50
Subj : . ..
, All ( )!
- - ,
, ,
.
- .
. ,
. , ,
, ,
- ,
,
( -) ,
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! .
AKA: cia@potok.nsk.su
(All rights reserved)
--- GoldED 2.40+
+ Origin: Our Future with Our Children! (2:5000/41.13)
- - . .
EK
-+- GoldED 2.41
Mikel
--- GoldED 2.42.gamma
* Origin: authorized Arvid dealer, (2:5020/35.1)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 8 of 100
From : Mikel Lavrentyev 2:5020/35.1 11 Oct 94 16:43:22
To : All 13 Oct 94 14:32:18
Subj : For HF
Hello Mikel!
Wednesday September 28 1994, Mikel Lavrentyev writes to All:
ML> :
ML> " , "
:
", "
" - "
Alexander
-+- GoldED 2.42.G0214+
Mikel
--- GoldED 2.42.gamma
* Origin: authorized Arvid dealer, (2:5020/35.1)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 10 of 100
From : Mikel Lavrentyev 2:5020/35.1 11 Oct 94 12:29:52
To : All 13 Oct 94 14:32:18
Subj : . . . ......
Area : REL.HUMOR
From : stesin@elvisti.kiev.ua, 2:50/128 ( 04 1994 19:24)
To : All
Subj : . ....
@REPLYADDR stesin@elvisti.kiev.ua
@REPLYTO 2:50/128.0@fidonet
X-RealName: Andrew V. Stesin
@Distribution: su
@Organization: Electronni Visti NetNode
@X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.2 PL2]
@Nntp-Posting-Host: office.elvisti.kiev.ua
[ Article crossposted from relcom.arts.qwerty ]
[ Author was ]
[ Posted on 13 Aug 1994 10:13:16 -0000 ]
" "
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--
With best wishes -- Andrew.
-+-
+ Origin: Electronni Visti NetNode (2:50/128.0@fidonet)
, Mikel!
4 h.f.? :)
With best regards Saruman the Guest of Fangorn
// The Hitch-Hiking Z0ne // Fire Wheelz Gr0up
-+- GoldED 2.42.G0614+
+ Origin: Orthank (095)PRI-VATE THZ RHQ 14400 (2:5020/306.1)
Mikel
--- GoldED 2.42.gamma
* Origin: authorized Arvid dealer, (2:5020/35.1)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 11 of 100
From : Mikel Lavrentyev 2:5020/35.1 11 Oct 94 16:44:50
To : All 13 Oct 94 14:32:18
Subj : ....... !!!!!!
IMHO, h.f.
, .
" ".
" ". - ,
: " , ".
Andrey
-+- GoldED 2.42.A0701+
Mikel
--- GoldED 2.42.gamma
* Origin: authorized Arvid dealer, (2:5020/35.1)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 12 of 100
From : Mikel Lavrentyev 2:5020/35.1 11 Oct 94 16:39:14
To : All 13 Oct 94 14:32:18
Subj :
- Humor-.
Subj:
- , ?
- ,
?
- , ?
- ,
?
- , ?
- ,
?
- ,
?
Olga
-+- GoldED 2.42.A0701+
+ Origin: Very Fluffy Kitten's Station (2:5051/13.4)
Mikel
--- GoldED 2.42.gamma
* Origin: authorized Arvid dealer, (2:5020/35.1)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 15 of 100
From : Boris Paleev 2:5020/113 12 Oct 94 12:17:48
To : All 13 Oct 94 14:39:48
Subj : [part 2] MO.SYSOEFF, '91
* Continuation 1 of a split message *
nep ,
np p. p, p
a, ,
pxy p pa.
,
np, , o .
3ana . Ha , y
a .
-
. A p pa no p
, . ,
pa, , pe. "-" -
, p "" pa. "!" -
a . Co y a,
,
p. e p, ,
no a , e
np.
Nice to talk with you,
Andrei Chtcherbakov
=== Terminate 1.50
+ Origin: A - ? (2:5020/323.1)
=============================================================================
Hello All!
Best regards, Boris
--- , 2.42.G0614+
* Origin: Minas Anor (2:5020/113@fidonet)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 17 of 100
From : Boris Paleev 2:5020/113 11 Oct 94 21:59:40
To : All 13 Oct 94 22:38:38
Subj : Windows'95
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Boris Paleev (2:5020/113)
* Area : BORIS_IN (Incoming mail)
* From : Serg Filippov, 2:5020/269.10 (Tuesday October 11 1994 09:20)
* To : Boris Paleev
* Subj : Windows'95
=============================================================================
Forwarded by Serg Filippov (2:5020/269.10)
Area : 269.LOCAL (269.Local)
From : Igor Plutalov, 2:5020/269.1 (, 10 1994 . 19:11)
To : All
Subj : Windows'95
Hello, All!
! (
- ). ...
- 95 Windows95
*******************************************************
11.
10.
9. , upgrade
8. ,
7. "Easy-install"
6. Windows,
5.
4.
3. ,
2. ,
1. ,
Best regards,
/IP.
--- GoldED/2 2.50.B1006+
* Origin: Oops! read/write mail site (2:5020/269.1)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 19 of 100
From : Boris Paleev 2:5020/113 11 Oct 94 21:17:02
To : All 13 Oct 94 22:38:40
Subj : .
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Boris Paleev (2:5020/113)
* Area : RU.ANEKDOT (RU.ANEKDOT)
* From : Victor Rotanov, 2:5100/26.11 (Monday October 03 1994 18:47)
* To : All
* Subj :
=============================================================================
, All! , :
- 1 :
- , ?
- - !
,
Victor
=== GoldED 2.50.B0822+
+ Origin: ! ! Victor's BBS, Riga, LATVIA (2:5100/26.11)
=============================================================================
Hello All!
Best regards, Boris
--- , 2.42.G0614+
* Origin: Minas Anor (2:5020/113)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 20 of 100
From : Mikel Lavrentyev 2:5020/35.1 12 Oct 94 10:42:06
To : All 13 Oct 94 22:43:46
Subj : 4hf?
======================================================
* Original in area KIEV.ANECDOT
* Original from Alexey Suhoy 2:463/67
* Original to All
* Original about " ."
======================================================
Hi All!
1. , . ,
. , . . ,
- - " ".
> [...]
Good luck!
Alexey
-!- FMail/386 0.98
! Origin: Leosoft BBS (FidoNet 2:463/67)
==================== End of Forward ====================
Egor
-+- FleetStreet 0.89wb
Mikel
--- GoldED 2.42.gamma
* Origin: authorized Arvid dealer, (2:5020/35.1)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 22 of 100
From : Boris Paleev 2:5020/113 12 Oct 94 16:15:28
To : All 13 Oct 94 22:43:48
Subj : For your info...
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Boris Paleev (2:5020/113)
* Area : SU.POL (SU.POL)
* From : Vlad Fedushin, 2:5020/52.777 (Thursday October 06 1994 16:16)
* To : All
* Subj : For your info...
=============================================================================
========================================================================
Forwarded here by Vlad Fedushin (2:5020/52.777)
========================================================================
Area: DEMOS.RADIGEST
Date: 07 Oct 94 05:53:49 Public
From: root@avrora.msk.su
To: All
Subject: (4) -
========================================================================
--
" ", - -
" ". -
-
:
- " " -
. 7
,
.
,
.
+ 20
+ 50 -
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.
,
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-
. -
-
,
-
.
, -
-
.
=== PPoint 1.86
+ Origin: - , - (2:5020/52.777)
=============================================================================
Hello All!
Best regards, Boris
--- , 2.42.G0614+
* Origin: Minas Anor (2:5020/113)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 25 of 100
From : Boris Paleev 2:5020/113 12 Oct 94 11:54:10
To : All 13 Oct 94 22:43:52
Subj : Was: ...
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Boris Paleev (2:5020/113)
* Area : SU.HUMOR (SU.HUMOR)
* From : Michail Havin, 2:5020/271.21 (Thursday October 06 1994 22:48)
* To : Dima Greenkevich
* Subj : Was: ...
=============================================================================
... ... - ,
Dima :
Wednesday September 28 1994 10:41, Dima Greenkevich Anton Tsarevsky:
DG> - ,
DG> - , .
-
- ,
. -
- ':
", - " ;)
, Michail.
=== GoldED 2.41+
+ Origin: - - ... (2:5020/271.21)
=============================================================================
Hello All!
Best regards, Boris
--- , 2.42.G0614+
* Origin: Minas Anor (2:5020/113)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 26 of 100
From : Boris Paleev 2:5020/113 12 Oct 94 17:18:46
To : All 13 Oct 94 22:43:52
Subj : . . MO.ECHO ?
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Boris Paleev (2:5020/113)
* Area : MO.ECHO (MO.ECHO)
* From : Valery Novov, 2:5020/52.97 (Sunday October 09 1994 10:23)
* To : Sergey Ruzhitskiy
* Subj : MO.ECHO ?
=============================================================================
On (07 Oct 94) Sergey Ruzhitskiy wrote to Alexey Kulentsov...
AK> , , , ... :) ,
SR>
AK> . :-P
SR> , ... ,
SR>
SR> ,
SR> . () ...
. , ,
, - .
=== PPoint 1.86
+ Origin: ; (2:5020/52.97)
=============================================================================
Hello All!
Best regards, Boris
--- , 2.42.G0614+
* Origin: Minas Anor (2:5020/113)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 27 of 100
From : Boris Paleev 2:5020/113 12 Oct 94 20:21:04
To : All 13 Oct 94 22:43:52
Subj : Re: . .
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Boris Paleev (2:5020/113)
* Area : PVT.CLUB (PVT.CLUB)
* From : Andrew Vyarvelsky, 2:5020/68.10 (Tuesday October 11 1994 18:26)
* To : Larisa Boruzdina
* Subj : Re: .
=============================================================================
, Larisa!
10 Oct 94, Larisa Boruzdina writes to All:
LB>
LB> .
LB> ,
, ... :) , ,
. . :(
.
.
- , ? , ,
!
- . , ?
- , -- , . --
!
.
-- .
.
, ? ,
.
" "
. OTK. ;)
.
- ?
, .
- , . ,
.
-- --
.
- , !
.
. :)
.
=== GoldED 2.42.G0614+
+ Origin: -= Dron at home =- (2:5020/68.10)
=============================================================================
Hello All!
Best regards, Boris
--- , 2.42.G0614+
* Origin: Minas Anor (2:5020/113)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 29 of 100
From : Basil Dolmatov 2:5020/50.40 12 Oct 94 11:58:28
To : All 13 Oct 94 22:52:06
Subj : for H.F.
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Basil Dolmatov (2:5020/50.40)
* Area : ##.BASIL (Personal Mail)
* From : Lev Semenets, 2:5060/88.3 (09 Oct 94 23:12)
* To : Basil Dolmatov
* Subj : for H.F.
=============================================================================
* Originally to 2:5020/140
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Lev Semenets (2:5060/88.3)
* Area : ALT.HUMOR.BEST-OF-USENET (ALT.HUMOR.BEST-OF-USENET)
* From : garrett@cs.unc.edu, 2:50/128 (Monday October 03 1994 02:31)
* To : All
* Subj : [rec.arts.sf.written.robert-jordan] Re: TAN squared: Testing for a Jor
=============================================================================
jsn@cegt201.bradley.edu (John Novak) writes:
>erica@cc.gatech.edu (Erica Sadun) writes:
>
>>>Learn vi. >Love vi. >Live vi.
>>HERESY!
>>Emacs rules
>
>Emacs?!
>No wonder you had to abandon keeping up the FAQ when you started
>your research, Erica. Who'n Hell'd wanna edit a file that large
>or complex with _emcas_?!
Two guys are sitting in a bar, and get talking.
"What's you IQ?" one asks.
"169" is the reply.
"Wow, amazing --- my IQ's 172. What're your ideas on Hawkings latest work on
superstring theory?"
And the two get chatting and become lifelong friends.
Further down the bar, two other guys are comparing IQs.
"Mine's 104"
"Gosh, mine's 102. What do you think about the latest Cub's game?"
And the two become lifelong friends.
Even further down the bar, two other guys are also comparing IQs.
"Mine's 53."
"Wow! Mine's 54. Do you use emacs or vi?"
--
=============================================================================
Hello Basil!
;-)
Lev
-+-
+ Origin: Point of confusion (2:5060/88.3)
=============================================================================
Hello All!
Cheers, Basil (The Edifying Cat)
--- GoldED/2 2.42.G0214
* Origin: Edifying Cat's Nest (2:5020/50.40)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 32 of 100
From : Basil Dolmatov 2:5020/50.40 14 Oct 94 01:20:36
To : All 15 Oct 94 16:53:34
Subj : .
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Basil Dolmatov (2:5020/50.40)
* Area : SPB.SYSOP (SPB.SYSOP)
* From : Dmitry Shtilerman, 2:5030/215 (13 Oct 94 20:05)
* To : All
* Subj :
=============================================================================
N
"... - !"
()
1/N
, ?
y , , ,
. , , su
. ... .
2/N
(: , ,
, , ,
, , ,
, , ,
, , ,
, - , , , ,
, ,
, , ,
, , ,
, , , , ,
,
, , ,
, , ? ? ,
!)
3/N
* Crossposted in SU.TORMOZ
* Crossposted in SPB.SYSOP
* Crossposted in R50.SYSOP
* Crossposted in NET_DEV
* Crossposted in HACKING
* Crossposted in SPB.POINT
* Crossposted in SPB.TOURISM
* Crossposted in RU.BABY
* Crossposted in SU.MILITARY.NAVY
* Crossposted in RUSSIAN.SEX
* Crossposted in SU.C_CPP
* Crossposted in RU.NEWS
* Crossposted in SU.SYSOP
* Crossposted in SPB.KIDS
* Crossposted in INTERUSER
* Crossposted in SU.HUMAN.RIGHTS
* Crossposted in SURVIVAL.GUIDE
* Crossposted in ASY'S.TALK
* Crossposted in MO.ECHO
* Crossposted in FOREST.ZONE
* Crossposted in ALT.SEX.MASTURBATION
* Crossposted in ALT.BINARIES.PICTURES.EROTICA.FEMALE.BLONDIES.TITTIES
* Crossposted in COMP.OS.MSDOS.ADVOCACY
* Crossposted in SPB.LEEI
* Crossposted in SPB.LEEI.UUE
* Crossposted in SPB.LEEI.UUE.SYSOP.PIC
* Crossposted in SPB.LEEI.UUE.SYSOP.PIC.EROTICA.MALE
* Crossposted in NETMAIL
* Crossposted in ALT.KETCHUP
* Crossposted in RU.BARDAK
* Crossposted in SU.GENERAL
* Crossposted in SPB.GENERAL
* Crossposted in BEL.GENERAL
* Crossposted in ALT.TALK.GENERAL.FAILURE
* Crossposted in KAIJA.NETNEWS
* Crossposted in PSYS.TALK
* Crossposted in DALE.INFO
* Crossposted in DIRTY.INFO
* Crossposted in DIRTY.INFO.UUE
* Crossposted in RELCOM.COMMERCE.FOODS
* Crossposted in RELCOM.COMMERCE.MONEY
* Crossposted in RELCOM.COMMERCE.TORMOZ
* Crossposted in RELCOM.CURRENCY
* Crossposted in ALT.MUSIC.PINK-FLOYD.D
* Crossposted in SCI.MATH
* Crossposted in SU.FORTH
* Crossposted in BIZ.JOBS.CONTRACT
* Crossposted in MISTRESS.RUS
* Crossposted in RU.USR
* Crossposted in SU.CHAINIK
* Crossposted in T-MAIL.CHAINIK
* Crossposted in ALT.SEX.WANTED.NOVICE
* Crossposted in COMMONPLACE
* Crossposted in RU.ANEKDOT
* Crossposted in RUSSIAN.FREEDOM.ANEKDOT
* Crossposted in ALT.FOLKLORE.COMPUTERS
* Crossposted in SOC.CULTURE.SOVIET
* Crossposted in RELCOM.POSTMASTERS.D
* Crossposted in ASIAN_LINK
* Crossposted in COMP.DATABASES.MS-ACCESS
* Crossposted in REC.GAMES.PROGRAMMER
* Crossposted in ENET.SYSOP
Your-hoo-ooy!
C
SU.TORMOZ ! :
- , .
- .
,
, .
4/N
| |
| | | |
| | | |
| | !!! ??? | |
| | !!! ??? | |
| | !!! ??? | |
| | !!! ??? | |
| | !!! ??? | |
| | !!! ??? | |
| | !!! ??? | |
| | !!! ??? | |
| | !!! ??? | |
| | !!! ??? | |
| | !!! ??? | |
| | !!! ??? | |
| | !!! ??? | |
| | !!! ??? | |
| | !!! ??? | |
| | !!! ??? | |
| | | |
| | | |
| |
5/N
, , All!
-
, .
C
?
-+- gnu emacs
+ Origin: Pig Station,+7-812-242-2077,20:00-08:00,workdays (2:5030/215)
=============================================================================
Hello All!
Cheers, Basil (The Edifying Cat)
--- GoldED/2 2.42.G0214
* Origin: Edifying Cat's Nest (2:5020/50.40)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 42 of 100
From : Mikel Lavrentyev 2:5020/35.1 13 Oct 94 13:43:34
To : All 15 Oct 94 17:15:06
Subj : life...
* Area : 68.PVT (68.PVT)
* From : Serg Pashkov, 2:5020/68.189 (09 Oct 94 22:23)
* To : Boris Tobotras
* Subj : life...
=============================================================================
:
"
, .
,
. -
! - ,
."
=============================================================================
Hello Mikel!
4 hf?..
Marina
-+- GoldED 2.41
Mikel
--- GoldED 2.42.gamma
* Origin: authorized Arvid dealer, (2:5020/35.1)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 43 of 100
From : Mikel Lavrentyev 2:5020/35.1 13 Oct 94 13:47:24
To : All 15 Oct 94 17:15:06
Subj : News Flash: C&S to publish book
Area : REC.HUMOR.FUNNY
From : brad@looking.clarinet.com, 2:50/128 ( 09 1994 07:20)
To : All
Subj : News Flash: C&S to publish book
2:50/128.0@fidonet
@REPLYADDR brad@looking.clarinet.com
@REPLYTO 2:50/128.0@fidonet
X-RealName: Brad Templeton
Keywords: topical, funny, usenet
Approved: funny@clarinet.com
Q: Emily, how can I put out my billboard on the information superhighway?
A: The best way to do it is to perform a spam. It's called that because
everybody loves it as much as the customer in the Monty Python "Spam"
sketch loves his spam.
The best way to do this is to find some naive programmer and ask it to
write a script that posts your message to every newsgroup. You'll start
by getting as big a list of newsgroups as you can find. The members of
USENET, hoping to see your ad, have prepared these lists just for you.
It doesn't really matter what your product is. If people on the net might
use it, they'll be happy to read about it in every group.
Now create a message promoting yourself. Be bold, be daring, and be
sure to provide info on how to contact you in ways that people on the
net can't shut off. (More on that later.)
Because the reaction is going to be so overwhelming, be sure to take
the following steps:
a) Unlist your phone number. The networking public is going to want
to contact you so much to talk about your product or service that they'll
even try to call you at home. If they get your home phone or address,
they'll be sure to share it with all the other people seeking to send
you their admiration, and your fame may prove too much. You want business,
of course, but do you want to take orders all night?
b) Get an account with some other internet account providers. For
reasons not quite certain, your provider probably has a clause in
their contract with you saying not to do this. Even if they don't,
they will probably delete your account a few hours after you announce
your product, so be sure to get other accounts under assumed names
so you can follow what's going on. This is the reason that expecting
E-mail replies to your ad won't work.
c) Be sure you've led a clean life. You and your product are going
to become as famous as Gary Hart and O.J. Simpson! But, as you know,
such fame has its downsides, as your eager fans research every tawdry
episode from your past history. So be sure there are no skeletons in
your closet. (Unless your product is skeletons!) Of course, since
you're no net-communist, you probably have had a clean life.
d) Due to the Brady Bill, you may want to file your firearms acquisition
permit a few days in advance of your ad. Soon you're going to be rich,
and you'll need to protect that wealth.
e) Load plenty of fax paper in your fax machine. Hire extra staff to
load the rolls. There may be orders in all the faxes you will get.
f) Resign any memberships you may have in any professional associations
you may have joined relating to your business that might have something
as pesky as a code of ethics. Why put them through the trouble of handling
all the calls from your adoring fans, looking for somebody to talk with
about you.
Ok, now you're ready. Unleash the posting program. Have it send your
message once to every group. There are thousands. Now picture in your
mind the prospective customer. She starts her day, perhaps, reading
a group about her hobby. And right there is your ad! The title is
curious so she reads it. Your name is now inserted into her mind -- you've
got mindshare. It's true your product didn't have anything to do with
her hobby, but the net is there to find customers for you, not for
people to share their thoughts.
Then she goes to her next group, perhaps about her brand of computer.
There's your ad again! You've sneaked into the great demographics of the
high-tech world. As she goes on, she sees your ad again and again.
Imagine her joy as she sees your now familiar headline everywhere she
goes. "Wow, they must be really big and important," she'll think.
"They're as famous as IBM." Soon that joy will be so much that she'll
be ready to buy, buy, buy.
Now comes the bad news. USENET is unreliable, and postings don't always
work. So, for unknown reasons, a few hours after you make your postings
they will all have disappeared. Normally you would just post them again,
but by this time your internet mail access will have been deleted, as I
said above, so you'll have to just sit back and bask in the adulation and
orders. There is a theory that some people, who don't like your ad,
will have a smarter program than your posting program root around the net
and stamp it out, but I hardly think it's likely anybody would do that.
There will be some people annoyed, it's true. But the net has at least
10 million people on it, and you'll probably only *really* annoy perhaps
3 to 4 million of them -- a minority!
Others who have tried this have reported not only that a mere minority
show displeasure, but that vast numbers of people take the time to send
back inquiries and orders just so you can have more to read. Unfortunately,
they rarely actually pay. Some theorize that those in the vocal minority
who don't like you are sending in pretend positive responses, to waste your
time. Who would bother to do that? Perhaps just 1% out of the 3 to
4 million annoyed people, at most. That shouldn't bother you too much.
A similar percentage may try to phone you, or fax you, or send bricks
postage due, or subscribe you to magazines. Ignore them. They're just
40,000 or so of the lunatic fringe, communist element you find on the net.
They're just upset because you're making money and they're not. In fact,
suckers that they are, they actually ended up paying to transmit your
ad everywhere. Learn to ignore them. (That's not advice, it's just
something you'll have to do.)
Now at this point you probably have to stop answering your phone, but keep
those faxes coming in, and of course get ready for the mail. If you
ever do get to see some of the E-mail you got sent -- wow, what a flood!
When it settles a bit, threaten to sue anybody who didn't like you. That
should put some fear of God into them. They should have known better than
to build a system so open. Sure, they built the network as a cooperative
effort, but if they didn't want your ads, why didn't they put in protections
against them or enact laws to stop them? What you did was probably legal,
so what's their complaint? They're like people who leave their keys in
their cars and whine when they get stolen. Really, like they didn't
deserve it. They just don't see the wonderful new purpose to which their
network can be put, to help small, exciting firms like yours get famous.
That's the American dream, after all, and you're living it, or will, when
the time comes to come back out of your bunker and reconnect your
phones.
-Emily Postnews
[ Ok, so this is more satire than pure sarcasm, the way my original
Emily Postnews was. Sue me. (*) ]
[ (*) Above remark not addressed to Canter and Siegel. ]
--
Brad Templeton, publisher, ClariNet Communications Corp. | www.clarinet.com
The net's #1 Electronic newspaper (circulation 70,000) | info@clarinet.com
--
Selected by Maddi Hausmann Sojourner. MAIL your joke to funny@clarinet.com.
Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply.
If you don't need an auto-reply, submit to rhf@clarinet.com instead.
-+-
+ Origin: (2:50/128.0@fidonet)
, Mikel!
4 h.f.? :)
With best regards Saruman the White
// The Hitch-Hiking Z0ne // Fire Wheelz Gr0up
-+- GoldED 2.42.G0614+
+ Origin: Orthank (095)PRI-VATE THZ RHQ 14400 (2:5020/306.1)
Mikel
--- GoldED 2.42.gamma
* Origin: authorized Arvid dealer, (2:5020/35.1)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 45 of 100
From : Boris Paleev 2:5020/113 14 Oct 94 21:05:16
To : All 15 Oct 94 23:08:36
Subj : 4 .
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Boris Paleev (2:5020/113)
* Area : SU.HUMOR (SU.HUMOR)
* From : Dmitry Kucherenko, 2:464/6.50 (Wednesday October 12 1994 23:06)
* To : All
* Subj : 4 .
=============================================================================
!
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==============================8<--------------------------------------------
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=== GolDed 2:40
+ Origin: - ! (2:464/6.50)
=============================================================================
Hello All!
Best regards, Boris
--- , 2.42.G0614+
* Origin: Minas Anor (2:5020/113)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 52 of 100
From : Boris Paleev 2:5020/113 14 Oct 94 21:54:12
To : All 15 Oct 94 23:08:44
Subj : for HF?
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Boris Paleev (2:5020/113)
* Area : BORIS_IN (Incoming mail)
* From : Mikel Lavrentyev, 2:5020/35.1 (Friday October 14 1994 13:23)
* To : Boris Paleev
* Subj : for HF?
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Mikel Lavrentyev (2:5020/35.1)
* Area : hnetmail (*****: 35.1 personal mail)
* From : Max Grushansky, 2:5026/1.10 (12 Oct 94 20:09)
* To : Mikel Lavrentyev, 5020/35.1
* Subj : for HF?
Received: by ddt.demos.su id MAA11213;
(8.6.9/D) Thu, 13 Oct 1994 12:28:00 +0301
Received: from p10.f1.n5026.z2.fidonet.org by f400.n5020.z2.fidonet.org
with FTN (ifmail v.2.6) id AA11212; Thu, 13 Oct 94 12:28:00 +0300
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Max Grushansky (2:5026/1.10)
* Area : IV.GENERAL (IV.GENERAL)
* From : Dmitriy Zykov, 2:5026/6 (12 1994 () 04:12)
* To : Andrew Spiridonov
* Subj : ZMH
=============================================================================
Hi Andrew!
In a msg of <11 Oct 94>, Andrew Spiridonov writes to Michael Kirshtein:
[...]
AS> , , ? .
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Good Luck! :)mitriy
-+- GEcho 1.00
+ Origin: 27% . 24% . 21% . $##$%!!! . 5% . 2% <> (2:5026/6)
=============================================================================
, Mikel!
Max 12 1994 (), 20:09
Mikel
=== GoldED 2.42.gamma
+ Origin: authorized Arvid dealer, (2:5020/35.1)@Via
2:5020/35.0@fidonet @19941014.133048 BPack 2.15.00b/Unr
=============================================================================
Hello All!
Best regards, Boris
--- , 2.42.G0614+
* Origin: Minas Anor (2:5020/113)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 53 of 100
From : Boris Paleev 2:5020/113 14 Oct 94 21:50:56
To : All 15 Oct 94 23:08:46
Subj : . . :)))
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Boris Paleev (2:5020/113)
* Area : BORIS_IN (Incoming mail)
* From : Mikel Lavrentyev, 2:5020/35.1 (Friday October 14 1994 13:19)
* To : Boris Paleev
* Subj : :)))
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Mikel Lavrentyev (2:5020/35.1)
* Area : hnetmail (*****: 35.1 personal mail)
* From : Dimitri Martemianov, 2:5020/306.1 (13 Oct 94 10:27)
* To : Mikel Lavrentyev, 5020/35.1
* Subj : :)))
Forwarded by Dimitri Martemianov (2:5020/306.1)
Area : PVT.CLUB
From : Eugene Muzychenko, 2:5000/14 ( 09 1994 00:42)
To : All
Subj : :)))
-=> Note:
Copied (from: 268.PVT) by Eugene Muzychenko using timEd.
!
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-+- timEd-B11
+ Origin: Fox Tracks, Novosibirsk, Russia (2:5000/14)
, Mikel!
4 h.f.? :)
With best regards Saruman the Ruler of Twelve's Community
// The Hitch-Hiking Z0ne // Fire Wheelz Gr0up
-+- GoldED 2.42.G0614+
+ Origin: Orthank (095)PRI-VATE THZ RHQ 14400 (2:5020/306.1)
Mikel
=== GoldED 2.42.gamma
+ Origin: authorized Arvid dealer, (2:5020/35.1)@Via
2:5020/35.0@fidonet @19941014.133048 BPack 2.15.00b/Unr
=============================================================================
Hello All!
Best regards, Boris
--- , 2.42.G0614+
* Origin: Minas Anor (2:5020/113)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 54 of 100
From : Boris Paleev 2:5020/113 14 Oct 94 21:06:48
To : All 15 Oct 94 23:08:46
Subj : . ...
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Boris Paleev (2:5020/113)
* Area : SU.HUMOR (SU.HUMOR)
* From : Alexey Kulentsov, 2:5020/216.6 (Thursday October 13 1994 18:12)
* To :
* Subj :
=============================================================================
Hello !
Saturday October 08 1994, writes to Alexey Kulentsov:
KT>>> + Origin: - - ...
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=== GoldED 2.42.G1121
+ Origin: -=:Akul:=- (2:5020/216.6)
=============================================================================
Hello All!
Best regards, Boris
--- , 2.42.G0614+
* Origin: Minas Anor (2:5020/113)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 5 of 100
From : Boris Paleev 2:5020/113 19 Oct 94 23:11:12
To : All 20 Oct 94 22:04:06
Subj : New echo
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Boris Paleev (2:5020/113)
* Area : 41.ECHO (41.ECHO)
* From : Dmitry Orel, 2:5020/139 (Wednesday October 19 1994 00:48)
* To : All
* Subj : New echo
=============================================================================
@MSGID: 2:5020/139 2ea4be8f
* Crossposted in RU.BARDAK
* Crossposted in MO.ECHO
* Crossposted in SUPER.TORMOZ
* Crossposted in COMMONPLACE
* Crossposted in EAGLE'S.ECHO
* Crossposted in INFO.LINK
* Crossposted in NO.CARRIER
* Crossposted in PVT.CLUB
* Crossposted in 41.ECHO
Hi All!
!!! TYT.BCE.HACPEM.
2:5020/139 .
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TYT.BCE.HACPEM.
15-17 , ,
TYT.BCE.HACPEM - .
tHe MoTOrHUnTER Of FiGi,
TYT.BCE.HACPEM - .
SuPEr BBs , 095--.
TYT.BCE.HACPEM LAMMMMMERZ MUST DIE!
,
: 100000 GiGAZ On-LInE / NO FiDO LaMErZ / .
666:666/666 - ,
!
, ,
RU.ANEKDOT, SU.HUMOR
TYT.BCE.HACPEM -
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SU.POL TYT.BCE.HACPEM 2-
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======================================================================
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18) Microsoft
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Q5.
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-+-
+ Origin: Economics Departament RAO (2:50/128.0@fidonet)
--------------------------- Final Cut -------------------------
Dmitry
---
* Origin: Silent Infinity Surrounds Your Mind (2:5020/32)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 73 of 100
From : Boris Paleev 2:5020/113 20 Nov 94 13:02:06
To : All 21 Nov 94 09:12:30
Subj : .
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Boris Paleev (2:5020/113)
* Area : SU.HUMOR (SU.HUMOR)
* From : Timur Evdokimov, 2:5020/243 (Wednesday November 16 1994 23:33)
* To : All
* Subj :
=============================================================================
Hello, All!
-, >39,
. ... --... .
:)
- , . - ? , ,
, .
. , [() ] CONNECT 1974 - NO
CARRIER 1994.
.
Timur
=== GoldED 2.50.B0822+
+ Origin: DataForce/Pvt BBS Zelenograd/Moscow/Russia (2:5020/243)
=============================================================================
Hello All!
Best regards, Boris
--- , 2.42.G0614+
* Origin: Minas Anor (2:5020/113)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 81 of 100
From : Dmitry Zavalishin 2:5020/32 21 Nov 94 20:43:02
To : All 22 Nov 94 04:28:26
Subj : Software Airlines
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Igor Kaminskiy (2:5005/18)
* Area : KIEV.ANECDOT (KIEV.ANECDOT)
* From : Andrey Ganin, 2:463/52.33 (18 Nov 94 05:39)
* To : All
* Subj : Software Airlines
=============================================================================
, All!
, GU -- ,
... ;)
---------- 8< ------------ 8< ------------ 8< ---------------------
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( JunkFAX National Semiconductor)
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, -- . . {* andrey@frontline.kiev.ua *}
Why do you look so sad and forsaken ?
-+- Dread 2.42.G0214+
+ Origin: * Babylon Frontline * (2:463/52.33)
=============================================================================
---
* Origin: Silent Infinity Surrounds Your Mind (2:5020/32)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 83 of 100
From : Dmitry Rusak 2:5030/192.17 20 Nov 94 20:57:30
To : All 22 Nov 94 10:21:54
Subj : Korki
Hello, All!
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BBS Harry
Nikolayev.
Truely Yours,
Dmitry.
20 Nov 94, 15:42
--- 2.40+
* Origin: ZitZ'z House of Horror (2:5030/192.17)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 86 of 100
From : Boris Paleev 2:5020/113 22 Nov 94 11:53:24
To : All 22 Nov 94 19:04:52
Subj : [alt.music.filk] Filkers: MAKE.MONEY.FAST!
Forwarded by Dimitri Martemianov (2:5020/306.1)
Area : ALT.HUMOR.BEST-OF-USENET
From : steve-b@access.digex.net, 2:50/128 ( 09 1994 03:14)
To : All
Subj : [alt.music.filk] Filkers: MAKE.MONEY.FAST!
X-RealName: Steve Brinich
From: Eli Brian Goldberg
Newsgroups: alt.music.filk
Subject: Filkers: MAKE.MONEY.FAST!
[If people are going to post this MAKE.MONEY.FAST drivel on
alt.music.filk, they could at least tailor it to their audience. But,
in the interests of Truth, Justice, and Blowing Off Homework, the
following...]
Dear Fans,
My name is Joe Bozo. In September 2044, my starship was repossessed,
and Starfleet command was houding me like you wouldn't believe. I was
ejected into hyperspace, and my oxygen supply was turned off. The
only escape I had from the pressure of gravity was my guitar, my filk
books, and my DAT recorder. I longed to turn my advocation into my
vocation. This January 2045 my family and I attended the Universal
Science Fiction Convention [UnCon] by FTL transport in the Gates
Quadrant, and bought everything in the dealer's room and art show.
I am currently building a home (largely 'cause I don't have anywhere to
put the stuff I bought from UnCon) on Alpha Centaura, with a private
starship launching pad, and my own virtual harem. I will never have to
work again! Today, I am rich! I have earned well over 5 billion
credits (5,000,000,000, in case you can't read), and will have over a
trillion before Microsoft Galactic Enterprises finally releases their
version of Windows with pre-emptive multitasking that really works!
This money making program woorks every time, 100% of the time (unlike
Windows ;-). I have NEVER failed to earn more than 3 million credits or
more whenever I wanted. Best of all, you never have to leave your
computer room, except to clean off your satellite dish.
In October 2043, I received a letter in my E-mail box telling me
how --- through the miracle of "filk" I could earn 3 million credits
dollars or more whenever I wanted. I was naturally very skeptical and
put the message back in my E-mail queue. I mean, who would trust a bozo
who can't even spell "folk" correctly??! It's funny though, when you are
desperate, running Windows, your mind does crazy things. Almost as
badly as your computer does. I spent a frustating day looking through
the on-line want ads for a job with a future. The pickings were sparse
at best. That night I tried to unwind by logging into Microsoft's
Intergalactic Network & Windows Technical Support system. I read several
of the message posts and than glanced at the E-mail message, still in
the queue. All at once it came to me, I now had the key to my dreams ---
and my right hand wasn't even necessary! I realized that with the power
of my guitar I could expand and enhance this money making formula into
the most unbelievable cash flow generator that has ever been created.
Since I know you must be a real s/u/c/k/e/r bright person to be reading
alt.music.filk, I have the secret to my success here for you to share.
Sincerely yours,
Joe Bozo
INSTRUCTIONS
Follow these instructions EXACTLY, and in 50-60 epicycles, you will have
received well over 3 million credits cash, all yours. This program has
remained successful because of the HONESTY and INTEGRETY of the
participants. Please continue its success by carefully ADHERING TO
THE INSTRUCTIONS.
Welcome to the world of filk parodies! This little business is a little
different from most song writing, because we don't actually need any
talent. (although it doesn't hurt) Your product is not solid and
tangible, but rather, a disservice. You are in the business of
parodying filksongs. Many fans are happy to pay big bucks for quality
parodies.
Under the Limbaugh/Clinton parody ruling of 1996, people must obtain
permission from a song's author in order to publish a parody. This rule
includes parodying parodies.
(The credits earned from album royalties are secondary to the income
which is made from people like yourself requesting permission to parody
your song.)
1) Go through your filkbooks. Immediately parody the first 5 songs that
you see. Send them off to Galactic Xenofilkia with a letter saying,
"Hi, Lee! Would you like to put these in the next issue of Xeno?
Here's $3 for the back issues I unfortunately missed." (This is
a legitimate service, and you are paying $3 for it --- and well
worth it, too [plug, plug. Sorry...SLAP!])
2) Remove the song that appears #1 on your list. Parody another song.
Send it off to Xenofilkia.
3) Sing your songs at a few conventions, and make sure that as many of
the following people are in the room: Tom Smith, Mark Osier, Lynn Gold,
Lee Gold, Bob Kanefsky, Rennie Levine, Mike Brown, Nancy Freeman,
and Gary Ehrlich. Be sure to declare your songs unfilkable, and dare
anyone to try it as loudly as possible.
4) Within 60 days, you will receive well over 3 MILLION CREDITS in
album & songbook royalties from the exponentially increasing number of
parodies of your filksongs. [It's even enough to afford your own site
license for Windows for Intergalactic Workgroups!] Keep copies of your
filksongs sitting around, as to allow yourself to sue anyone who
publishes parodies of your songs without permission.
The following letters were written by participating members in this
program.
To Whom It May Concern:
About 30 epicycles ago, I received Joe's letter. I ignored it,
'cause my computer crashed and lost the message. I received
it again in two weeks, because the Microsoft Mail Server is
still totally messed up. I was tempted to follow through with
it and dreamed of being able to pay off 4,000
Made by Magic: The Gathering playing cards, but I was too busy
playing Magic. About 3 weeks later, the damned mail server
sent me the same message again --- 2,000 copies of the same
message, in fact! I knew that it was a miracle of fate, as I
spent 2 weeks deleting every single message, and forgot to
leave the last one to actually read.
I liked the idea of writing song parodies; after all, if anyone
had enough taste to actually listen to them, why should I care
if I was ripping them off? This week, I thought I'd give it
a try. And, I parodied Tom Smith, and dared him to follow up
on it! Within weeks, I received thousands of credits in royalties
to _Don't use your E-mail for a brain_, and all the ensuing parodies
(such as _Don't use your female for a brain_, _Using all this
E-mail is a pain_, _Commodore Amigas are so lame_, and so forth)
It was great!
Please send thousands of copies of this letter to anyone stupid enough
to actually read this far so together we can convince people who are
skeptical that it really works!
Good Luck,
I. Filked Up
Another letter:
-+-
+ Origin: best of usenet humor (2:50/128.0@fidonet)
=============================================================================
Hello All!
Best regards, Boris
--- , 2.42.G0614+
* Origin: Minas Anor (2:5020/113)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 87 of 100
From : Boris Paleev 2:5020/113 22 Nov 94 11:54:52
To : All 22 Nov 94 19:07:32
Subj : [ccs.systems.help] Re: Really Bad Thing(tm)
Forwarded by Dimitri Martemianov (2:5020/306.1)
Area : ALT.HUMOR.BEST-OF-USENET
From : gregs@ccs.neu.edu, 2:50/128 ( 09 1994 03:26)
To : All
Subj : [ccs.systems.help] Re: Really Bad Thing(tm)
X-RealName: Gregory T Sullivan
From: gregs@delphi.ccs.neu.edu (Gregory T Sullivan)
Newsgroups: ccs.systems.help
Subject: Re: Really Bad Thing(tm)
>>>>> "Mike" == ***** <****@everest.ccs.neu.edu> writes:
>> dk
>> Really Bad Thing(tm)
Mike> I believe Rat also said "REALLY BAD THING(TM)". Who's the trademark
Mike> holder or what's this all about?
I think Microsoft(tm) acquired the(tm) trademark to Really Bad Thing(tm)
recently in a complicated stock-for-free-software(tm) deal with the(tm)
Department of Justice (discussed recently on another newsgroup).
It(tm) so happened that the(tm) Director of the(tm) U.S.(tm) Office of
Trademarks and Copyrights was at the(tm) same meeting and remarked that she
was several versions behind with Word(tm) for Windows(tm) and Excel(tm) for
Windows(tm). Mr. Bill, President of Microsoft (tm), offered "free upgrades
for you and all your friends" in exchange for certain trademarks, and the(tm)
rest is history. So, be very careful when using the following trademarked
words(tm) or phrases:
Bad Thing(tm),
Really Bad Thing(tm),
Good Thing(tm),
Really Good Thing(tm),
Wicked Good Thing(tm),
United States(tm),
software(tm),
the(tm),
it(tm),
:) (tm)
To prevent legal recrimination by Microsoft(tm)'s large legal force (42.25% of
all practicing lawyers work for Microsoft(tm)), it(tm) is recommended that you
include a check for 1 dollar per unlicensed use of any of Microsoft's
trademarks.
You can include your check with your next upgrade order.
--Greg, who now realizes how useful winks, nudges, and chuckles are for
conveying humor.
wink, wink, nudge, nudge :) (tm).
chuckle, chuckle.
-+-
+ Origin: best of usenet humor (2:50/128.0@fidonet)
=============================================================================
Hello All!
Best regards, Boris
--- , 2.42.G0614+
* Origin: Minas Anor (2:5020/113)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 88 of 100
From : Boris Paleev 2:5020/113 22 Nov 94 11:56:00
To : All 22 Nov 94 19:07:34
Subj : . ...... .....!
Forwarded by Dimitri Martemianov (2:5020/306.1)
Area : REL.ARTS.QWERTY
From : bpv@angel.energy.msk.su, 2:50/128 ( 03 1994 09:34)
To : All
Subj : !
X-RealName: "Baberdin Paul"
, , . , . , , . ,
, . .
- . , ,
. . -
. , , . . ,
. , . , , .
. , . ,
. . .
. . .
. , .
. . . ,
, . . .
. . , , ,
? ? ?
, . , , .
. , . .
. . - . -
. - . - .
. - . .
- .
-+-
+ Origin: Economics Departament RAO (2:50/128.0@fidonet)
=============================================================================
Hello All!
Best regards, Boris
--- , 2.42.G0614+
* Origin: Minas Anor (2:5020/113)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 98 of 100 - 89
From : Boris Paleev 2:5020/113 23 Nov 94 01:34:28
To : All 23 Nov 94 09:39:22
Subj : 4 h.f.
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Nikolay Baranov (2:5020/28.4)
* Area : RU.AVIATION (RU.AVIATION)
* From : Andrew Firsov, 2:5020/22.22 (21 Nov 94 15:17)
* To : All
* Subj :
=============================================================================
!!!
" ".
"-", ( ).
-
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,
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!
-+- GEcho 1.10
+ Origin: [White Bear BBS] Moscow, Russia, 7-095-932-8465 (2:5020/22)
=============================================================================
Hello All!
Best regards, Boris
--- , 2.42.G0614+
* Origin: Minas Anor (2:5020/113)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 57 of 100
From : Dmitry Zavalishin 2:5020/32 22 Nov 94 21:48:30
To : All 24 Nov 94 01:06:58
Subj : : . 15/11/94
Hello All.
I think, this message from area REL.HUMOR seems to be interesting:
--------------------------- Start Cut -------------------------
From : UUCP, 2:50/128 (20 Nov 94 15:01)
To : All
Subj : : 15/11/94
---------------------------------------------------------------
X-RealName: "Dmitry S. Kohmanyuk"
[...]
>****
> -
> .
> . /044/ 272-96-68
, ? ;-)
--
;; Geometry of crowbar in crystal backspaces ...
-+-
+ Origin: Animals Paradise Farm (2:50/128.0@fidonet)
--------------------------- Final Cut -------------------------
Dmitry
---
* Origin: Silent Infinity Surrounds Your Mind (2:5020/32)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 58 of 100
From : Dmitry Zavalishin 2:5020/32 22 Nov 94 21:51:06
To : All 24 Nov 94 01:06:58
Subj : . ....!
Hello All.
I think, this message from area REL.HUMOR seems to be interesting:
--------------------------- Start Cut -------------------------
From : lerik@express.tunis.tver.su, 2:50/128 (21 Nov 94 07:38)
To : All
Subj : !
---------------------------------------------------------------
X-RealName: "Lerik"
- -
.
:
- ! ?
- ! !
- ! , !
Best,
Lerik
-+-
+ Origin: Express (2:50/128.0@fidonet)
--------------------------- Final Cut -------------------------
Dmitry
---
* Origin: Silent Infinity Surrounds Your Mind (2:5020/32)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 59 of 100
From : Dmitry Zavalishin 2:5020/32 24 Nov 94 12:35:14
To : All 24 Nov 94 15:42:02
Subj : [monash.test] Honours Rhapsody - 4hf
Hello All.
I think, this message from area L.DZ seems to be interesting:
--------------------------- Start Cut -------------------------
From : Serge Wizgounoff, 2:5020/54 (22 Nov 94 14:30)
To : Dmitry Zavalishin
Subj : [monash.test] Honours Rhapsody - 4hf
---------------------------------------------------------------
Serge Wizgounoff (2:5020/54)
ALT.HUMOR.BEST-OF-USENET (ALT.HUMOR.BEST-OF-USENET)
bromage@mdw088.cc.monash.edu.au
All
[monash.test] Honours Rhapsody
What with Honours theses due in a little under 24 hours, I thought I'd get
totally bored and write a song parody.
HONOURS RHAPSODY
By Tim Pickett and Scott Thomson
Is this the real world?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a LAN-slide
No ESC to reality.
open(2) your files,
Look after your while()s
In C;
I'm just a cheap boy
I can't buy Symphony(tm)
Because I've wheezy cough, noisy beep
Little cash, little sleep
Anything but Windows(tm),
Nothing beats full adders to me,
To me.
Mama,
Just killed a RAM
Put DECstatic on its pins,
Now I don't see /usr/bin,
Mama,
vi had just been run,
But now I've got to throw it all away
Mama, ooooooh,
Didn't mean to make it fry
If I've no stack to overflow tomorrow,
Carry one, carry one,
'Cause there's nothing like full adders.
Too late,
My time(2) has come
Send lightning down my line
Stop my make(1)ing all the time
Goodbye, everybody,
I've got to know,
Gotta leave you all behind and read Knuth.
Mama, ooooooh, (Anything but Windows(tm))
I don't want to *sigh*
I sometimes wish I'd never known Bourne at all.
I see a little silhouetto of a man(1),
Farramouche, Farramouche, will you do the test question?
Thunderbolt and lightning,
Blowing up my modem, me.
Coniwayo, Coniwayo,
Coniwayo, Coniwayo,
Coniwayo Ronald Pose.
Maurice Castro (oh oh oh oh)
I'm just a cheap boy, nobody sells to me
He's just a cheap boy from a cheap company
Spare him his life from this Honours degree!
Wheezy cough, noisy beep,
Will you let me sleep?
Chriswallace! GNU! We will not let you sleep!
(let me sleep!)
Chriswallace! GNU! We will not let you sleep!
(let me sleep!)
Chriswallace! Will not let you sleep (let me sleep!)
Will not let you sleep (let me sleep!)
Will not let you sleep (let me sleep!)
GNU, GNU, GNU, GNU, GNU, GNU GNU!
Oh Mama mia, mama mia,
Mama mia, let me sleep!
Beelzegates has a widget put beside my tree,
my tree,
my tree!
So you think you can clone me and take all my lives?
So you think you can love me and leave me no drives?
Oh, baby,
Can't do this to me baby,
Just gotta c-out, just gotta get write(2) out of here.
Nothing beats full adders,
Anything in C,
Nothing beats full adders,
Nothing beats full adders to me.
Anything but Windows(tm).
-+-
+ Origin: best of usenet humor (2:50/128.0@fidonet)
=============================================================================
;-)))
... "Don't take Life seriously. You'll never get out alive." - B. Bunny
-+-
--------------------------- Final Cut -------------------------
Dmitry
---
* Origin: Silent Infinity Surrounds Your Mind (2:5020/32)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 62 of 100
From : Boris Paleev 2:5020/113 24 Nov 94 01:27:14
To : All 24 Nov 94 16:59:30
Subj : ...
* Forwarded by Igor Buchanov (2:5030/53)
* Area : SPB.HUMOR (SPB.HUMOR)
* From : Igor Buchanov, 2:5030/53 (22 Nov 94 12:21)
* To : All
* Subj : ..
=============================================================================
Hello All!
>
> -
> "" .-, .,151
> .:(812)290-6459 :(812)290-6459 -2:8(852)06-277
>
2:5030/212
>:
:
3.0 #24 ( );
3.0 #24 ( );
3.0 #24 ( -2);
1.10 ( );
0.96 ( );
4.30 ( );
䅄 2.42.G0214+ ( );
2.63 ( );
( , ).
:
1 386DX-40 ( );
( );
( );
16800 ( );
3260 ( );
1496 ( -2).
> :
- (-) Eugene Agapov, ,
Monday November 21 1994 16:35,
Dmitry Sofronov
2:5030/212.
>:
.
䅄 , Dmitry Sofronov
(, ) " ." - (-) Eugene Agapov
21:46 .
䅄
. , 䅄',
,
.
, -
,
.
, ( )
,
CD-ROM ,
99-100%.
>:
(-
(-) Eugene Agapov) .
Dmitry Sofronov 2:5030/212,
, - (-) Eugene Agapov
2:5030/41 Dmitry .
䅄'
,
( ) ,
( Eugene Agapov)
2:5030/212.
DesqView
GoldEd
Monday November 21 1994 21:46
.. ( )
1
Eugene Agapov , Monday
November 21 1994, 16:35, " ."
Monday November 21 1994 Dmitry Sofronov
2:5030/212 21:46, ,
Dmitry Sofronov (
, - ,
, ..)
, 䅄, ,
, , ,
.
'
, , .
, , , Dmitry Sofronov
, ,
- , .
DesqView
.. ( )
--- : .. 2.42.G0214+
+ Origin: * 6.38-72 * * ;) *
!!!
Igor
-+- GoldED 2.50.B0822+
+ Origin: Eye of the PETROBANK -SPB- (+7-812-110-1274) 2:5030/53 (2:5030/53)
=============================================================================
Hello Boris!
...
..
Igor
=== GoldED 2.50.B0822+
=============================================================================
Hello All!
Best regards, Boris
--- , 2.42.G0614+
* Origin: Minas Anor (2:5020/113)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 64 of 100 - 12
From : Boris Paleev 2:5020/113 24 Nov 94 01:28:48
To : All 24 Nov 94 16:59:32
Subj : 4 hf?
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Dmitry Valdov (2:5015/2)
* Area : NINO.006.ECHO (NINO.006.ECHO)
* From : Anatoly Korsakoff, 2:5015/6 (Wednesday November 23 1994 10:00)
* To : Elijah Languev
* Subj : Adinf and Int 13H
=============================================================================
Hello Elijah!
Wednesday November 23 1994 09:26, Elijah Languev wrote to Dmitry Valdov:
EL> ? , AMISETUP CMOS - ?
EL> , OS/2, ;))
, QEMM
DEVICE=C:\VIRUS\VIRUSHIGH.SYS /Stealth:3 /high=yes /umb=true /no_remap=no
DEVICE=C:\VIRUS\VIRUSBIOS.SYS /chipset=UM82C /chipsubmobel=481BF
DEVICE=C:\VIRUS\VIRUSENVADE.SYS /.exe=yes /.dll=yes /.sys=yes /kernels=yes
DEVICE=C:\VIRUS\VIRUSSCSI.SYS /type=aha /model=1540B /bios_revision=420412-00
Begin the optimization process? Your PC 'll go reboot now...
OOps.. This program needs a pentium or higer to run...
EL> Elijah
Anatoly
-+- FMail/386 0.98
+ Origin: 2:5015/6 (2:5015/6)
=============================================================================
Hello All!
... , V86
..
Dmitry
=== GoldED 2.50.B1016+
+ Origin: CRC Error MO Node (FidoNet 2:5015/2)
=============================================================================
Hello All!
Best regards, Boris
--- , 2.42.G0614+
* Origin: Minas Anor (2:5020/113)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 66 of 100
From : Basil Dolmatov 2:5020/140 24 Nov 94 14:41:58
To : All 24 Nov 94 22:14:50
Subj : . ... (fwd)
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Basil Dolmatov (2:5020/140)
=============================================================================
Forwarded message:
From ire.phys.msu.su!postmaster Wed Nov 23 22:18:29 1994
Newsgroups: news.unix
From: Fedor Andreyev
Hello, All!
. . .
. , , 6000 .
.
. .
4 5 Microsoft Microcoft C
MS DOS. Borland C .
.
. UNIX
(SCO ?). . -
, ?
WBW, Fedor.
-+- GoldED+
+ Origin: . (Logica, Nikolaev 2:466/10.26)
=============================================================================
Hi, All!
Cheers, Basil (The Edifying Cat)
--- GoldED 2.41
* Origin: And our origin has been struck by lightning (2:5020/140)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 67 of 100
From : Leo V. Mironoff 2:5020/293 25 Nov 94 02:14:00
To : All 25 Nov 94 15:22:20
Subj : . .
Forwarded by Leo V. Mironoff (2:5020/293)
Area : SURVIVAL.GUIDE (SURVIVAL.GUIDE)
From : Seaman R.Heaterer (2:5020/139.15), Tuesday November 22 1994 12:16
Subj : .
[]
.. 2- .\ ,
-
, , .
\ :) . ,
- , , -
:)
--- copy con com3
* Origin: - The Endless Quest - (2:5020/293)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 68 of 100
From : Mikel Lavrentyev 2:5020/35.1 24 Nov 94 11:43:02
To : All 25 Nov 94 17:57:30
Subj : 7- ....!
.TID: GE 1.1+
* Forwarded by Mikel Lavrentyev (2:5020/35.1)
* Area : 268.PVT (*local.268.pvt)
* From : Max Skibinsky, 2:5020/296 (24 Nov 94 02:30)
* To : All,
* Subj : 7- !
Good day/night All!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
.
, "7- !"
:
- .
.
.
-8086 :
1) .
2) .
3) "-0"
4) .
5) -
25*25,
10*10,
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
;) - - - ? - ,
? - ......;)
Always at your service: Max Skibinsky
-+- - ' 242g+
+ Origin: - . - (2:5020/296)
Mikel
---
* Origin: authorized Arvid dealer, (2:5020/35.1)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 69 of 100
From : Dmitry Zavalishin 2:5020/32 25 Nov 94 14:47:04
To : All 26 Nov 94 04:02:36
Subj : fun with english
Hello All.
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Anthony Guetmansky (2:5030/6)
* Area : NETMAIL (FastEcho Netmail Area)
* From : polk@ece.nps.navy.mil, 2:5030/6 (08 Nov 94 23:09)
* To : Anthony Guetmansky
* Subj : fun with english
=============================================================================
Tony,
Here is a fun message that I received from a friend. (smile)
Brad
In an Australian hardware shop:
Special Offer - a free ride in a police car if you steal anything
from this shop.
-----------------
Subject: From an Air France bulletin... This is real!
In a Tokyo Hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a
person to do such thing is please not to read notis.
In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we
regret that you will be unbearable.
In a Leipzig elevator:
Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin
should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor.
Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.
In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of
9 and 11 A.M. daily.
In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the
chambermaid.
In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and
Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots
of ascension.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
On the menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings
in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in
the country people's fashion.
Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:
Drop your trousers here for best results.
Outside a Paris dress shop:
Dresses for street walking.
In a Rhodes tailor shop:
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute
customers in strict rotation.
Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly:
There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic
painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.
A sign posted in Germany's Black forest:
It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that
people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one
tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.
In a Zurich hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite
sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
In a Rome laundry:
Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a
good time.
In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:
Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no
miscarriages.
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?
In a Swiss mountain inn:
Special today -- no ice cream.
In a Bangkok temple:
It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a
man.
In a Tokyo bar:
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them in all directions.
On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
In a Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give
it to the guard on duty.
In the office of a Roman doctor:
Specialist in women and other diseases.
In an Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
In a Tokyo shop:
Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in
the long run.
From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:
Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room,
please control yourself.
From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him
melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him
with vigor.
Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
- English well talking.
- Here speeching American.
=============================================================================
Hello Dmitry!
_______
|ony
> Team OS/2
-+-
+ Origin: (2:5030/6)
--------------------------- Final Cut -------------------------
---
* Origin: Silent Infinity Surrounds Your Mind (2:5020/32)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 70 of 100
From : Dmitry Zavalishin 2:5020/32 25 Nov 94 14:50:30
To : All 26 Nov 94 04:02:38
Subj : 4HF ?
Hello All.
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Vsevolod Shabad (2:5020/202)
* Area : RU.UNIX (RU.UNIX)
* From : Alexander Pevzner, 2:5020/59.9 (23 Nov 94 23:02)
* To : Fedor Andreyev
* Subj : ...
=============================================================================
Hello, Fedor!
FA> . .
FA> .
FA> . , , 6000 .
FA> .
FA> . .
FA> 4 5
FA> Microsoft Microcoft C MS DOS.
FA> Borland C .
FA> .
FA> .
FA> UNIX (SCO ?).
FA> . -
FA> , ?
- . ,
- , Robotron 1715, Z-80
CP/M. , -.
PC. PC
, . Z-80,
.
386- . ,
, - Z-80, -
.
: :-)
Sincerely, Pzz aka pzz@pzz.msk.ru
-+- timEd 1.01.g1+
+ Origin: <> (2:5020/59.9)
=============================================================================
---
* Origin: Silent Infinity Surrounds Your Mind (2:5020/32)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 71 of 100 + 74
From : Leo V. Mironoff 2:5020/293 25 Nov 94 01:58:56
To : All 26 Nov 94 22:53:46
Subj : 4hf?
Forwarded by Leo V. Mironoff (2:5020/293)
Area : .LVM.NETMAIL (Personal netmail)
From : Pavel Grodek (2:5020/214.4), Thursday November 24 1994 03:05
Subj : 4hf?
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Pavel Grodek (2:5020/214.4)
* Area : DOOM (DOOM)
* From : John Ester, 2:255/82 (Tuesday October 25 1994 02:20)
* To : All
* Subj : KILLING PEOPLE
=============================================================================
@RFC-Path:
ddt.demos.su!f400.n5020!f3.n5026!f2.n51!f8.n5100!f24.n24!f80.n441!f1.n255!f101.
n255!f82.n255!not-for-mail
Killing people is wrong, unless there is good reason such as they are violently
and criminally insane. In the latter case a choice of death should be offered
to relatives of the offender. The actual extermination should be shown live on
all channels so everybody gets the chance to see it. In fact maybe a
competition should be run on the internet with the winner being the person whm,
by modem gets to throw the switch if an offender has been assigned death by
electric chair. Surely the computer network is wide enough and capable enough
to offer this service to it`s users.
Doom is a game all about killing people, with a gun, without any regard for the
"Enemy approaching" The game does not offer any function to sit down and have a
cup of tea and a chat with the opposing gunman, which gives up any last
opportunity for a peaceful settlement to be found. I therefore find the game
unsettling and certainly would not reccomend it to children under the age of
three.
To kill people with a gun is not clever, it`s not a game. These icons
actually die, and I`m flabbergasted to hear they have no legal rights to oppose
this obvious abuse of power. A GAME should be fun, fulfilling and educational.
I cannot understand that talented gameswriters spend so much time writing @Shoot
them up@ trash when they could write a nicer game, such as how to get Jack up
the hill to meet Jill without spilling the water. Instead of dieing the worst
that can happen in the game is that he gets a bit wet, and then due to seasonal
factors dies of frostbite in icy conditions, or cut becomes full of gangrene
so that limb amputations occur with eventual death from an unsuspected brain
hemmorage. Surely such family oriented games will be a boom seller.
Any comments?
-+- GEcho 1.02+
+ Origin: Top-Range BBS, BRISTOL (2:255/82)
=============================================================================
Hello Leo!
, ;) DOOM
, - ! !
...
Sincerely Yours,
Pavel
GoldED 2.42.G0614+
. Origin: With best wishes/regards/anything you wish (2:5020/214.4)
--- copy con com3
* Origin: - The Endless Quest - (2:5020/293)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 74 of 100 - 71
From : Boris Paleev 2:5020/113 27 Nov 94 11:59:14
To : All 27 Nov 94 17:02:42
Subj : 4hf?
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Alex Zhilyakov (2:5051/13.2)
* Area : DARK.MAD
* From : , 2:5051/13.3 (Tuesday November 22 1994 07:59)
* To : All
* Subj : DARK.MAD 1.4
=============================================================================
> . Vagabondo - Michael Alekseyev,
> /13.
DARK.MAD
. . . :
"".
, . DARK.PUB,
" ". - ( )
, ...
DARK.TESTING. "
" .
. , .
DARK.INFO, DARK.PUB,
. . ,
, DARK.PU...
, -,
, DARK.ENGL,
,
.
.
.
- . (, ).
, , .
, -
, ..
* *
> [...skipped...]
DARK.MAD Oleg Kopcev (2:5051/13.3),
(8-842-2??-????).
. , DARK.MAD.
---
* Origin: Barbar's station (2:5051/13.3)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 75 of 100 + 92
From : Boris Paleev 2:5020/113 27 Nov 94 12:00:00
To : All 27 Nov 94 17:02:44
Subj : 4.h.f.
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by MaX Brashenko (2:5000/47)
* Area : RU.OS.CMP (RU.OS.CMP)
* From : Alex Tutubalin, 2:5020/96 (Tuesday November 15 1994 18:04)
* To : All
* Subj : 9 ....
=============================================================================
Dear All!
.
( ):
" SUN, 16
UNIX-. 9 __UNIX..."
"" 15 , 65.
.... 9
, 16
...
,Alex Tutubalin
-+- GoldED 2.42.G1114
+ Origin: , (2:5020/96)
=============================================================================
Hello All!
Best regards, Boris
--- , 2.42.G0614+
* Origin: Minas Anor (2:5020/113)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 76 of 100 - 61 + 79
From : Boris Paleev 2:5020/113 27 Nov 94 12:02:24
To : All 27 Nov 94 17:02:44
Subj : 4hf
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Boris Paleev (2:5020/113)
* Area : BORIS_IN (Incoming mail)
* From : Alex Iliynsky, 2:5020/23 (Friday November 25 1994 08:55)
* To : Boris Paleev
* Subj : 4hf
=============================================================================
*** Answering a msg posted in area HUMOR.FILTERED (HUMOR.FILTERED).
Hi Boris!
Boris Paleev at 2:5020/113 wrote to All (Thursday November 24 1994)
BP> , y - EPSON .
BP> CR :-))))
-, , , ,
. ,
D-100 ( - 12
),
CR, ,
, .
, ,
. .
- .... :(
Starder
===
+ Origin: (C) Starder. From Home (%TEMP%) (2:5020/23)
=============================================================================
Hello All!
Best regards, Boris
--- , 2.42.G0614+
* Origin: Minas Anor (2:5020/113)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 77 of 100
From : Boris Paleev 2:5020/113 27 Nov 94 12:08:02
To : All 27 Nov 94 17:02:44
Subj : . - .
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Andy Timashev (2:5020/68.4)
* Area : RU.FREAKS
* From : Dmitry Rechkin, 2:5020/336 (22 Nov 94 21:27)
* To : Sanches Militsky
* Subj : - .
=============================================================================
Hello Sanches!
Monday November 21 1994 15:12, Sanches Militsky wrote to All:
AD>> . ,
AD>> ,
AD>> . " ,
AD>> ". , ? (
AD>> ,
SM> !!! ,
SM> .
SM> ( , "
SM> "). - ( )
SM> .
-, ..
,
. ,
, ,
, ...
" ". ,
. , -
"" ( , ...
) (sic!)
, ... -
, ( 1956 )...
, ,
?
" " ?
...
2:5020/336
, , ,
,
, , 5:30 7:30,
, ,
, ,
, , , , ,
, , - ...
,
"" ,
1500 . , , ,
, .
1.0 ,
, " " ,
" "
. . MO.ECHO RUSSIAN.FREEDOM.ANEKDOT...
,
, , (, !) ,
, .
...
Best regards,
Dmitry
-+- GoldED 2.50.B1016+
+ Origin: Unplugged CPU makes no errors! (2:5020/336)
=============================================================================
Hello All!
Best regards, Boris
--- , 2.42.G0614+
* Origin: Minas Anor (2:5020/113)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 78 of 100
From : Boris Paleev 2:5020/113 27 Nov 94 12:09:28
To : All 27 Nov 94 17:02:44
Subj : Don't torture your software
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Boris Paleev (2:5020/113)
* Area : BORIS_IN (Incoming mail)
* From : Harry Bush, 2:51/2 (Friday November 25 1994 15:32)
* To : Boris Paleev
* Subj : Don't torture your software
=============================================================================
Hello Boris!
4 HF? ;-)
Best wishes, Harry
Friday November 25 1994 15:31
* From Area: LV.PEARLS (LV.PEARLS)
From the Internet:
SEVEN SOFTWARE COMPANIES ADDED TO "WATCH LIST"
New York, NY, Sept. 24 -- People for the Ethical Treatment of
Software (PETS) announced today that seven more software companies
have been added to the group's "watch list" of companies that
regularly practice software testing.
"There is no need for software to be mistreated in this way so that
companies like these can market new products," said Ken Granola,
spokesperson for PETS. "Alternative methods of testing these
products are available."
According to PETS, these companies force software to undergo lengthly
and arduous tests, often without rest for hours or days at a time.
Employees are assigned to "break" the software by any means necessary,
and inside sources report that they often joke about "torturing" the
software.
"It's no joke," said Granola. "Innocent programs, from the day they are
compiled, are cooped up in tiny rooms and 'crashed' for hours on end.
They spend their whole lives on dirty, ill-maintained computers, and are
unceremoniously deleted when they're not needed anymore." Granola said
the software is kept in unsanitary conditions and is infested with bugs.
"We know alternatives to this horror exist," he said, citing industry
giant Microsoft Corp. as a company that has become extremely
successful without resorting to software testing.
* Qwkit 1.0b * Breeding rabbits is a hare raising experience.
-+- SLMAIL v3.5C (#1540)
+ Origin: Robotech Lake City's Music*Demo BBS [904] 758*9477 (13:205/1)
=== GoldEd/2 2.50.B1016+
+ Origin: Info-Shelter (2:51/2)
=============================================================================
Hello All!
Best regards, Boris
--- , 2.42.G0614+
* Origin: Minas Anor (2:5020/113)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 79 of 100 - 76 + 93
From : Boris Paleev 2:5020/113 27 Nov 94 12:10:18
To : All 27 Nov 94 17:02:46
Subj : 4HF
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Vsevolod Shabad (2:5020/202)
* Area : 68.PVT (68.PVT)
* From : Max Klochkov, 2:5020/99 (24 Nov 94 22:23)
* To : Yuri Safronov
* Subj : ? ...
=============================================================================
Hello Yuri!
Happy to contact you!
Thursday November 24 1994 10:59, Yuri Safronov wrote to Anton Tsarevsky:
AT>> . ,
AT>> -
AT>> ,
YS> ! . :)
-
, - .
, 1992-. ,
,
( ). , 1992
(
, /113). .
: ( )
. , ,
, ( -
), ,
, .
, ,
.
, ,
.
,
.
, , ,
.
Sincerely yours, Max
-+- Edlin for Windows 2.42.G0614+
+ Origin: 37, 37, 37 (2:5020/99)
=============================================================================
Hello Boris!
. , - ! ;-))))
Best regards,
Vsevolod
=== (C) 1994 Vsevolod Shabad
+ Origin: , ! (c) (2:5020/202)
=============================================================================
Hello All!
Best regards, Boris
--- , 2.42.G0614+
* Origin: Minas Anor (2:5020/113)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 82 of 100
From : Boris Paleev 2:5020/113 27 Nov 94 12:12:36
To : All 27 Nov 94 17:02:46
Subj : . FIDO
========================================================================
* Forwarded (from: R50.SYSOP) by Dmitry Penzin using timEd 1.01.g3+.
* Originally from Konst Malanin (2:5020/60) to All.
* Original dated: Nov 15 '94, 13:27
!
Dmitry Valdov -> Igor Belyakov ( 12.11.94):
IB> . - .
!> , - . .
, . ( -
), " = ", :
1. "FIDONet Russia".
2. - (
- ).
3. - 3 .
4. "FIDONet Russia" FIDONet .
5. ,
- - - (
). .
6. " FIDO"
,
( 3).
/ Konst Malanin.
___ ?PIP-W-Reboot !
- Origin: Doors_To_Montmartre (2:5020/60) (2:5020/60)
-+- timEd 1.01.g3+
+ Origin: Russia, Saint-Petersburg, dmitry@fish.spb.su (2:5030/167.6)
... ,
-+- PPoint 1.86
+ Origin: ? (2:5020/52.777)
=============================================================================
Hello All!
Best regards, Boris
--- , 2.42.G0614+
* Origin: Minas Anor (2:5020/113)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 83 of 100
From : Boris Paleev 2:5020/113 27 Nov 94 12:13:06
To : All 27 Nov 94 17:02:46
Subj : HF
* Forwarded by Grigoriy Shpakov (2:5020/54.35)
* Area : RU.ANEKDOT (RU.ANEKDOT)
* From : Eugene Leskovets, 2:450/17 ( , 23 1994 13:24)
* To : All
* Subj :
=============================================================================
Hello All!
RU.x RU.y.
MRU.x: , ?
MRU.y: ?
MRU.x: ? , .
MRU.y: ! RU.ANEKDOT -
.
- RU.z :
" , .
?"
: " , "
Bye!
Eugene
-+- timEd-g1+
+ Origin: + Blues Orphan at work + (2:450/17)
=============================================================================
Hello All!
Best regards, Boris
--- , 2.42.G0614+
* Origin: Minas Anor (2:5020/113)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 85 of 100
From : Basil Dolmatov 2:5020/50.40 28 Nov 94 01:27:30
To : All 28 Nov 94 04:04:40
Subj : (1) Guidelines for Ineffective OS/2 Advocacy :)
. :-(
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Lev Semenets (2:5060/88.3)
* From : timbol@netcom.com, 2:50/128 (Sunday November 13 1994 10:11)
* Subj : (1) Guidelines for Ineffective OS/2 Advocacy :)
=============================================================================
X-RealName: Mike Timbol
Beware. This is an example of what some people write when they have too
much time on their hands. If you lack a sense of humor (you know who
you are), you should probably skip this post. No offense intended to
Mr. Hodges, who wrote the original (serious) version. In fact, I encourage
people to read, since it brings up some good points, and also makes this
post easier to understand.
Guidelines for Ineffective OS/2 Advocacy
========================================
Over the past few years, long time OS/2ers have become aware that
the computer trade press doesn't give us much attention. Letter
writing campaigns to idiotic computer magazines have helped people
get a sense of how many intelligent and well-spoken OS/2 users
there are, but they still haven't turned the tide among the
Micro$oft boot-licking press. Fortunately, the "Electronic Press"
is one area where OS/2 has solid support. This is due to the fact
that we, the actual customers, are able to voice our opinions
directly to one another. Nobody is in direct control of the media
and what is "printed". Nobody has to justify the claims we make.
Say something enough, and people start to believe it. This is where
the grass roots OS/2 effort began. This is where Team OS/2 was born.
In following the discussions on usenet, I have noticed an important
trend: "The MS advocates here have been quite wrong - and the OS/2
advocates have been pretty much vindicated." While we OS/2 users have
a fine reputation for being right, even infallible in some cases,
we can always do better. I frequently see Windoze advocates being
drawn into arguments which go astray of the original point, or
degenerate into extended and pointless debates. This is great! Here
are some pointers on how to do it.
SOME "DOs AND DON'Ts" OF OS/2 ADVOCACY
--------------------------------------
1. BE OBNOXIOUS AND INSULTING.
There is nothing to be gained by taking a polite, courteous tone.
Hey, you're in an argument, right? If you're losing, start calling
the other people names. If you're winning, you can do the same thing.
Hey, some bozo is insulting your operating system! Don't stand for it!
Readers will see for themselves that you can't be pushed around.
2. EXPLAIN OS/2 ADVANTAGES -- USE SIMPLE EXAMPLES
Try to state in plain english what you like about OS/2. Use relevant,
real-world examples. For instance "I can download new WAD files for
DOOM while playing System Shock and X-COM in windowed DOS sessions!"
"I have 64 DOS boxes open! Do *THAT* in Windoze!" If you're running
out of ideas, just go back to the tried-and-true "I can format a
floppy disk in the background!" One gets the idea there is something
good here. Let them know exactly what it is.
3. NEVER ADMIT OS/2 WEAKNESSES
OS/2 is a great system and we love it. However, some people insist that
OS/2 has weak points. The nerve! If people point out advantages in
other systems that OS/2 doesn't have, quickly claim they aren't
advantages after all. Phrases like "Who would ever want to do that?"
and "What a useless feature!" address the issue nicely. If people post
about problems they *claim* to be having with Warp, just include a
simple followup that says "It works on my system. You must have shoddy
hardware" or perhaps "I have a real problem with people that for some
reason or another are unable to get OS/2 configured the way they want
calling what is more times than not THEIR lack of knowledge and
experience with the system a BUG in the software." Another tactic is
to downplay the problem: "Besides you, how many people do you really
think will encounter this bug?"
4. REGULARLY ARGUE WITH A "STRAWMAN"
Example: "Anyone remember the talk about a 'human-centric interface'?
If you can talk, you can use a computer........It's called 'vision'"
Windoze fanatics will probably mention delays in IBM's grand vision,
but these factors are irrelevant. This is the future of "portable"
OS/2 we're talking about! Windoze NT doesn't matter anyway.
5. GO FOR THE KILL
This is a standard tactic of negotiation. If you argue too
vehemently, what happens is the "other guy" becomes entrenched.
They can't change their mind on an issue without "losing face".
So, when you've aptly demonstrated that you are in all ways superior
to the "other guy", go for the kill. Insult his intelligence and
upbringing. Question his logical ability. Suggest he learn how to
read. Recommend a good psychiatrist. Ask if he understands
english. Pick on his spelling. Tell him to learn how to use his
editor. Talk about line length. For good measure, insult Bill Gates.
6. TRY TO KEEP SUBJECT TITLES POSITIVE
Many people just browse subject titles. Make sure what they see
looks interesting and inviting. "Winblows96 SUX ROX!" "OS/2 WARP
THE GREATEST OS *EVER*!!!!!!!" Now don't those look interesting?
Watch out for Windoze advocates introducing or changing subject
title to anti-OS/2 themes. For example, someone may post a thread
with the title "OS/2 performance disappointing?" I mean, really,
questioning OS/2's performance!? Obviously, this person is out to
get OS/2. Immediately change the subject to something like "OS/2
performance great!" If you have time, write a simple followup that
says "It works great on my system. You must have shoddy hardware."
(See point 3.)
7. RESPOND WITH OBVIOUS FLAME BAIT
Recent examples from usenet:
"You mean Windoze97?"
"Meanwhile people who use MS products wait...and wait...and wait."
These comments are worth their weight in gold. Note that the first
one points out valid flaws in Microsoft's operating system strategy.
What, they seriously think they can release Chia-pet OS 1.0 next
year!? Who are they kidding!?
The second simply points out valid problems with all Windoze users.
They'll appreciate an objective viewpoint, and the smart ones (if
there are any) will switch to OS/2. However, some of them may
disagree with you and claim that they're doing real work with their
computers right now -- after all, they are fanatics. Ignore these
responses. Why bother?
8. CONTINUE THREADS INDEFINITELY
It's easy to get bogged down in pointless debates that can't be
proven one way or the other. Predictions about the future, guesses
about installed base, sales of apps, etc. Hey, you can't be proven
wrong, so what have you got to lose? Insist that your view is right.
Insist that other people are wrong. They may try to politely disagree,
but they won't get away that easily. Use phrases like "You disagree,
but won't explain why." It doesn't matter if they've already explained
at great length; just claim they haven't. Then make some remarks
about their intelligence. (See point 1.)
9. SPREAD RUMORS AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE
Occasionally, you see an anti-Windoze rumor that apparently comes
from nowhere and has no apparent basis in reality. For instance,
there was a recent one titled "Windoze 95 can't run DOS apps!"
Follow up on it. Assume it's true. "My God, Micro$haft must be
a bunch of morons! They can't even get DOS apps to run! Ha ha ha!"
If you don't do this, people might miss it. If someone posts an
anti-OS/2 news article, just blow it off. After all, the press is
just a bunch of Micro$oft boot-lickers. If they post a positive
article, spread it far and wide. When you see one, a followup
including the entire article and the phrase "I agree!" or "Well said!"
might be appropriate.
10. SHOOT FROM THE HIP
Why would you ever need to think about something a Windoze advocate
says? They use Windoze, so they must be wrong. Disagree immediately,
while it's still fresh in your mind. Do it publicly, so that they know
they've been nailed. (See point 5.)
OS/2 ADVOCATE TACTICS TO COPY
-----------------------------
o MEANINGLESS POINTS AND STATEMENTS
Try to use arguments that say nothing, but sound good. State them
as if they were obviously true. Make them sound like as much like
marketing hype as possible. It helps if you can get an account
at IBM to do this. Examples:
"The next release of OS/2 is more of the same if you say it builds on
what has gone before and offers people the best platform for the
future - today."
"It won't be perfect in everyone's eyes - your included, likely - but it
will be excellent in the eyes of a great number of people - and
deservedly so."
"IBM is deadly serious about OS/2 succeeding. When you see OS/2 Warp
running smoothly, reliably, quickly (and cheaply!) on your system, you'll
have some idea of what happens when IBM gets serious about something."
"Watch this newsgroup for reports of positive experiences using Warp.
The thing just works - and works well."
"This one will sell better than ever. The momentum continues. Yeah."
"IBM has got it pretty much right. Blow a fuse if you like. But that
is it in a nutshell."
"Finally, a version of OS/2 with NO rough edges!"
"OS/2 Warp. The ONLY Operating System."
o THE "WINDOZE FAMILY" MULTI-PRONGED ATTACK
This is a great one! Micro$oft can't do anything worth a damn, so
they have to come out with a whole slew of products just to compete
with OS/2! Attacking this "Windoze Family" concept is easy. It works
like this: Someone makes a "point" about a specific version of
Windoze, for example "Windows NT is more stable than OS/2." The
proper response is to switch the comparison to Windoze 3.1. "Oh yeah,
well OS/2 is more stable than Windoze 3.1!" When people talk about
the huge selection of Windoze apps, say "OS/2 has more than ten times
as many apps as Windoze NT!"
Here's a simple chart to help you out:
Issue being compared System to compare to
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Memory requirements Windoze NT
Applications available Windoze NT
User base Windoze NT
Windoze compatibility Windoze NT
Speed Windoze NT
Stability Windoze 3.1
Bundled drivers Windoze 3.1
Resources available to Windoze apps Windoze 3.1
Multitasking Windoze 3.1
Networking "TCP/IP is available for OS/2"
You get the idea. You can substitute Windoze 96 anywhere. It
won't be out for several years, so claim anything you want about
it. Nobody can disagree with you!
o THE MARKET MOMENTUM ARGUMENT
When Windoze advocates start talking about Windoze NT and the upcoming
Windoze 96, start talking about "market momentum". Installed base,
applications available, and developer support are the main issues.
OS/2 has ten times the installed base of Windoze NT, and more
applications and ISVs as well. The momentum is clearly with OS/2.
Windoze 96 has ZERO installed base, ZERO applications available, and
ZERO developer support. What chance does it have?
o INCONSISTENCY
Remember, the number of people who actually _contribute_ to advocacy
groups in places like usenet, Fidonet, CompuServe, Prodigy, AOL, etc.
is likely quite small compared to "lurkers" who may be interested
in OS/2 and silently tune in to get an impression of what OS/2 is
all about. These people probably will not spend a lot of time
following the debates. OS/2ers need to be aware of this and try to
take advantage of it as much as possible. Don't bother being
consistent -- most people won't notice you contradict yourself
anyway. Some examples:
Windoze luzer: "Well-written Windows apps multitask just fine."
OS/2 user: "The OS should handle this, not the app!"
Windoze luzer: "OS/2 apps can hang the message queue."
OS/2 user: "Not if they're written well!"
Windoze luzer: "Windows NT 3.5 runs quite well on newer hardware"
OS/2 user: "What about the millions of older machines?"
Windoze luzer: "I run Warp on a 486SX and it's slow."
OS/2 user: "God, what crappy hardware you've got!"
o RATIONALIZATION AND DISTORTION
A favorite tactic is to emphasize a minor point that might be
otherwise overshadowed by some other issue. The most important
subject in this class is word definitions. After all, it's vitally
important that we all agree on terminology before going forward.
Some examples:
Windoze luzer: "OS/2 lacks apps in many mainstream categories."
OS/2 user: "Define 'mainstream'!"
Windoze luzer: "OS/2 has few native apps available"
OS/2 user: "Define 'native'!"
Windoze luzer: "Windows NT is the best selling workstation-level
operating system."
OS/2 user: "Define 'workstation'!"
Windoze luzer: "Windows95 applications already exist"
OS/2 user: "Define a 'Win95 app'!"
o DIVERSIONARY TACTICS
Some clever OS/2 advocates are masters of changing the subject. This
even includes the subject title. Learn from them. Consider this
recent example:
Subject: FUD from MS advocates (was Re: IBM's lack of integration ...)
Notice that the original discussion of OS/2 was replaced with a
-+-
+ Origin: NETCOM On-line Communication Services (408 261- (2:50/128.0@fidonet)
=============================================================================
Hello All!
, ;-)
Lev
-+-
+ Origin: Point of confusion (2:5060/88.3)
=============================================================================
Hello All!
Cheers, Basil (The Edifying Cat)
--- GoldED/2 2.42.G0214
* Origin: Edifying Cat's Nest (2:5020/50.40)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 86 of 100
From : Basil Dolmatov 2:5020/50.40 28 Nov 94 01:27:12
To : All 28 Nov 94 04:04:42
Subj : (2) Guidelines for Ineffective OS/2 Advocacy :)
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Basil Dolmatov (2:5020/50.40)
* Area : SU.OS2.MARGINAL (SU.OS2.MARGINAL)
* From : Lev Semenets, 2:5060/88.3 (25 Nov 94 11:23)
* To : All
* Subj : (2) Guidelines for Ineffective OS/2 Advocacy :)
=============================================================================
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Lev Semenets (2:5060/88.3)
* From : timbol@netcom.com, 2:50/128 (Sunday November 13 1994 10:11)
* Subj : (2) Guidelines for Ineffective OS/2 Advocacy :)
=============================================================================
X-RealName: Mike Timbol
negative for MS fanatics. There are a number of more subtle tactics
one needs to watch. Perhaps the most common one comes in discussions
of capabilities "in the box." Windoze advocates might be pointing out
that WFW has more device drivers than OS/2. Quickly point out that
OS/2 has more device drivers "in the box." When a Windoze advocate
replies that WFW has peer-to-peer networking in the box, subtly shift
the focus. Mention that OS/2 TCP/IP is available, and blows away
what WFW offers. When someone claims that OS/2 has poor ISV support,
mention the bundled Bonus Pack as being "much better than the crap that
comes bundled with Windows". If someone starts talking about Windoze NT
features, turn the discussion to the NFS add-on for Warp.
o ENDLESS FOLLOW UPS ON NEGATIVE SUBJECTS
Some OS/2 advocates stay up until the wee hours of the morning writing
about subjects negative to Windoze. This is incredible dedication!
By following up, you help the thread continue indefinitely. Examples:
"Microsoft Says it Will Shoot People!!!!!"
"Microsoft has been thinking of selling NT for the last 6 months."
Someone spent a long time writing articles on these points. Prolong
them as much as possible.
o RESPONDING TO THOSE WHO PAINT OS/2 USERS AT "NUTS" AND "FANATICS"
We've been insulted! Nail the bastard! Inform his sysadmin! Mailbomb
him! Shut down his account! We can't let him get away with this!
o GLOOM AND DOOM PREDICTIONS FOR WINDOZE
OS/2 Warp is here. Obviously, Windoze has no future. Inform
Windoze users that their OS is doomed. If they disagree, just
tell them they're ignorant. Eventually, they'll see the light, and
thank you for it.
__________________________________________________________________________
************************
* PAY FOR THIS ARTICLE *
************************
PLEASE DO NOT SEND THIS ARTICLE TO ANY ELECTRONIC MEDIA
WHERE OS/2 SUPPORTERS AND ADVOCATES ARE FOUND!
Note for the humor-impaired: This article is a joke. Do not take it
seriously. You can post a serious reply to this article, but then I'd
have to shoot you. Wait! That, too, was a joke! Look, a smilie -> :)
(Sadly, some people *still* won't get it...)
- Mike
-+-
+ Origin: NETCOM On-line Communication Services (408 261- (2:50/128.0@fidonet)
=============================================================================
Hello All!
Lev
-+-
+ Origin: Point of confusion (2:5060/88.3)
=============================================================================
Hello All!
Cheers, Basil (The Edifying Cat)
--- GoldED/2 2.42.G0214
* Origin: Edifying Cat's Nest (2:5020/50.40)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 87 of 100
From : Leo V. Mironoff 2:5020/293 28 Nov 94 00:33:48
To : All 28 Nov 94 14:00:44
Subj : . Windows
Forwarded by Leo V. Mironoff (2:5020/293)
Area : RU.ENGLISH (RU.ENGLISH)
From : Serge Miroshnichenko (2:5026/3.33), Sunday November 27 1994 17:44
Subj : Windows
TL> ps - icon . ?
TL> "" 8-() ;-)
. "Norton
Commander 4.0" - ABF, 1993. ,
, ? :) - ,
, : "
", : " ,
Quick-".
Windows - . Keybar - ? --
. Viewer - . ... NC4.0
- . Make
Directory ! , ,
Alt !
--- copy con com3
* Origin: - The Endless Quest - (2:5020/293)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 88 of 100
From : Leo V. Mironoff 2:5020/293 28 Nov 94 03:05:54
To : All 28 Nov 94 14:00:48
Subj : well, that's one way to come out...
Forwarded by Leo V. Mironoff (2:5020/293)
Area : .LVM.NETMAIL (Personal netmail)
From : Pavel Grodek (2:5020/214.4), Monday November 28 1994 01:31
Subj : well, that's one way to come out...
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Pavel Grodek (2:5020/214.4)
* Area : REC.HUMOR.FUNNY (REC.HUMOR.FUNNY)
* From : caius@titan.ucs.umass.edu, 2:50/128 (Friday November 25 1994 00:30)
* To : All
* Subj : well, that's one way to come out...
=============================================================================
@kiae @phantom @gate.phantom.ru 2:50/128.0@fidonet
@REPLYADDR caius@titan.ucs.umass.edu
@REPLYTO 2:50/128.0@fidonet
X-RealName: MICHAEL A PHIPPS
Keywords: funny, parents, sexual
Approved: funny@clarinet.com
I heard this story from a Unitarian minister, who swore up and
down that it was true. The young man in question is one of his
parishoners.
A young man, in the course of his college life, came to terms
with his homosexuality and decided to "come out of the closet". His plan
was to tell his mother first; so on his next home visit, he went to the
kitchen, where his mother was busying herself stirring stew with a wooden
spoon. Rather nervously, he explained to her that he had realized he
was gay.
Without looking up from her stew, his mother said, "You mean,
homosexual?"
"Well...yes."
Still without looking up: "Does that mean you suck men's penises?"
Caught off guard, the young man eventually managed to stammer an
embarrassed affirmative; whereupon his mother turned to him and,
brandishing the wooden spoon threateningly under his nose, snapped:
"Don't you *EVER* complain about my cooking again!"
--
Selected by Maddi Hausmann Sojourner with Brad Templeton. MAIL your joke
(jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.com. If you see a problem with an RHF posting,
reply to the poster please, not to us. Ask the poster to forward comments
back to us if this is necessary.
-+-
+ Origin: (2:50/128.0@fidonet)
=============================================================================
Hello Leo!
4hf
Sincerely Yours,
Pavel
GoldED 2.42.G0614+
. Origin: With best wishes/regards/anything you wish (2:5020/214.4)
--- copy con com3
* Origin: - The Endless Quest - (2:5020/293)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 95 of 100
From : Leo V. Mironoff 2:5020/293 29 Nov 94 10:04:34
To : All 30 Nov 94 14:45:34
Subj : . . :)
Forwarded by Leo V. Mironoff (2:5020/293)
Area : .LVM.NETMAIL (Personal netmail)
From : Max Smolev (2:5020/141.45), Sunday November 27 1994 14:31
Subj : :)
Hello Leo!
-
---------------
(, ) (2:5054/3) ASIAN_LINK
Msg : 48 of 112
From : Lois Culver 1:349/19 Tue 22 Nov 94 12:48
To : Bernie Burawski Sun 27 Nov 94 14:15
Subj : Tnksgiving in Japan
BB>Hello again everyone! I'm an American living in Japan and working
BB>with the United States Navy. It gets lonely around Thanksgiving and
BB>Christmas and was wondering if anyone in Cyber-land with be
BB>interested in exchanging Christmas Cards & letters. It would really
Hi, Bernie! Since this should get to you about Thanksgiving, I'll send
it along now to say I hope you have a good one!
Believe it or not - I spent a Thanksgiving in Japan (Yokota Air Base) in
1948! You'll have to admit that was a LONG time ago, and I really dont
remember very much about it except that I am sure we must have eaten at
the Officers' Club, because in those days not much was available which
looked like Thanksgiving dinner! Our "salads" were always cabbage
(cole slaw), as the lettuce and other vegetables were not grown to US
Standards until much later, since everything grown there used human
waste from the Japanese "honey buckets" for fertilizer. We even got
used to cabbage on our hamburgers, instead of lettuce!
The turkeys were probably frozen and came in from the US. I remember the
first chicken I got at the commissary. They advertised, as we came in
the door, "fresh chickens". I paid for one, and when I gave them my slip
as I left, they handed me a live chicken, tied by the feet, which had
been grown on the base. Yikes! I had NO idea what to do with a LIVE
chicken! I let it live in the back yard for months, rather than face
it. By that time, it had become a pet!
So, Bernie, I wish you a good Thanksgiving, and hope you will find
happiness that by NEXT year you'll be back in the US!
Hugs
Lois in Oregon
* OLX 2.2 * Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.
-+- Renegade v10-05 Exp
. Origin: Greetings from Magnetic Inx THE MACHINE (1:349/19)
--------------------------------------------------------------------
-. , :)
Best wishes, Do you know who've killed Laura?
Max A man from Twin Peaks...
GoldED 2.42.G0214+
--- copy con com3
* Origin: - The Endless Quest - (2:5020/293)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 96 of 100
From : Boris Paleev 2:5020/113 30 Nov 94 00:50:16
To : All 30 Nov 94 14:45:48
Subj : _-^-_ . ". "
Forwarded by Dimitri Martemianov (2:5020/306.1)
Area : REL.ARTS.QWERTY
From : dime@kim.belpak.mogilev.by, 2:50/128 ( 23 1994 06:42)
To : All
Subj : _-^-_ " "
X-RealName: Dmitri Puchko
Bonjour!
... ,
- , ...
,
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,
BBS,
...
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,
,
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manual.
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"Connection lost" ,
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,
ZyXEL ,
, ,
.
Au revoir!
dime@kim.belpak.mogilev.by
-+-
+ Origin: KIM (2:50/128.0@fidonet)
=============================================================================
Hello All!
Best regards, Boris
--- , 2.42.G0614+
* Origin: Minas Anor (2:5020/113)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 98 of 100
From : Boris Paleev 2:5020/113 30 Nov 94 00:52:32
To : All 30 Nov 94 14:45:50
Subj : 4 humor.filtered?
* Forwarded by Dmitry Valdov (2:5015/2)
* Area : RU.SEX (RU.SEX)
* From : Oleg King, 2:5023/1.1 (Saturday November 19 1994 19:36)
* To : Sergey Dubrov
* Subj : ;-/ (hm-m-m...)
=============================================================================
, Sergey!
Friday November 25 1994 16:40, Sergey Dubrov wrote to All:
SD> subj' ;)
SD> - ....
SD> . ?
SD> , - ;)
. (-
) . .
, ,
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- windows, , ,
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: "!! !!!" .
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SD> Sincerely, Sergey
Oleg King :)
-+- GoldED 2.42.G0214+
+ Origin: .. . (2:5023/1.1)
=============================================================================
Hello All!
Best regards, Boris
--- , 2.42.G0614+
* Origin: Minas Anor (2:5020/113)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 100 of 100 - 93
From : Boris Paleev 2:5020/113 30 Nov 94 02:01:30
To : All 30 Nov 94 14:45:50
Subj : 4hf
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Boris Paleev (2:5020/113)
* Area : BORIS_IN (Incoming mail)
* From : Rihards Ziedins, 2:5100/12.21 (Monday November 28 1994 14:02)
* To : Boris Paleev
* Subj : 4hf
=============================================================================
* Forwarded from area : SBC.JOKES (SBC.JOKES)
* From Jeff Hancock, 13:205/1 to *.*
Hi, Boris!
=) Digital Richie
> --- --- ---
I went out for a bit of a stroll a little while ago, and as I was wandering
by Doctor Debug's Laboratory, I heard some melodious tones coming out the open
window, so I had to stop it for a few minutes.
Here's the song they were singing:
Sung to the tune of the Flinstones theme:
Windows, MS-Windows,
Its the Stone Age look-and-feel GUI.
That's why Bill of Redmond,
Didn't win the desktop with NT.
Four-oh barely kept interest alive,
Now they call it Windows 95.
Do we wait for Windows,
Or have a yabba-dabba-do time,
An OS/2 time,
They'll never ship in tiiime.
. , " -", Info&E,
, 1992
24-25
", , .
- . .
, ,
, ."
S e c u r e F i l e S y s t e m
Copyright Peter C.Gutmann, 1993
[...doc text skipped...]
Warranty
--------
1. Customer Obligations
1.1. Customer assumes full responsibility that this program meets the
specifications, capacity, capabilities, and other requirements of said
customer, and agrees not to bother the author if the program does not
perform as expected, or performs other than expected, or does not perform
at all.
1.2. Customer assumes full responsibility for any deaths or injuries that may
result from the normal or abnormal operation of this program. In the
event of casualties exceeding 1000 persons or property damage in excess of
$10 million, customer agrees that he or she has stolen the program and we
didn't even know he or she had it.
1.3. Customer agrees not to say bad things about the program or the author to
anyone claiming to be from "60 Minutes".
2. Very Limited Warranty and Conditions of Sale
2.1. For a period of 90 minutes, commencing from the time you first thought
about getting this program, we warrant that this program may or may not be
free of any manufacturing defects. It will be replaced during the
warranty period upon payment of an amount equal to the original purchase
price plus $10.00 for handling. This warranty is void if the program has
been examined or run by the user, or if the manual has been read.
2.2. This program is sold on an AS WAS basis. The author makes no warranty
that it is, in fact, what we say it is in our propaganda, or that it will
perform any useful function. We have no obligation whatsoever other than
to provide you with this fine disclaimer.
2.3. Some countries do not allow limitations as to how long an implied warranty
lasts, so we refuse to imply anything.
2.4. There is an extremely small but nonzero chance that, through a process
known as "tunnelling", this program may spontaneously disappear from its
present location and reappear at any random place in the universe,
including your neighbours computer system. The author will not be
responsible for any damages or inconvenience that may result.
3. Limitation of Liability
3.1. We have no liability or responsibility to the customer, the customers
agents, our creditors, your creditors, or anyone else.
N 666 ,
.
.
- , N 10.
N 24 8 ,
, .
^-^
$ MolchiGin: Elgava Technical Lyceum (2:5020/128.0@fidonet)
--------------------------- Final Cut -------------------------
Dmitry
---
* Origin: Silent Infinity Surrounds Your Mind (2:5020/32)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 86 of 96 + 90 K/s
From : Basil Dolmatov 2:5020/50.40 10 Feb 94 08:48:02
To : All 11 Feb 94 00:07:58
Subj : . " ."
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Basil Dolmatov (2:5020/50.40)
* Area : SU.HUMOR (SU.HUMOR)
* From : Evgeny Fartushny, 2:50/318.1 (Wednesday February 09 1994 20:55)
* To : All
* Subj : " "
=============================================================================
@TID: FastEcho 1.30/g 1095975248
Hello All!
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-+-
+ Origin: ----> Default GoldED Origin <---- (2:50/318.1)
=============================================================================
Hi, All!
Cheers, Basil (The Edifying Cat)
--- GoldED 2.41
* Origin: And our origin has been struck by lightning (2:5020/50.40)
HUMOR.FILTERED (2:5020/153.23) HUMOR.FILTERED
Msg : 87 of 96 K/s
From : Mikel Lavrentyev 2:5020/35.1 10 Feb 94 15:00:00
To : All 11 Feb 94 00:17:54
Subj : (4 h.f.) . . . III, VI...
=============================================================================
* Forwarded by Boris Paleev (2:5020/113)
* Area : MO.ECHO (MO.ECHO)
* From : Juri Krasilnikov, 2:5020/37.100 (Friday February 04 1994 18:48)
* To : All
* Subj : . III, VI...
=============================================================================
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Why did CNN cancel that cool "Desert Storm" show?
A fool and his money are my two favorite people.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.
I have a magnetic personality - keep me away from diskettes.
STATUS QUO is Latin for "the mess we're in."
Anything not nailed down is a cat toy.
I saw Elvis. He sat between me and Bigfoot on the UFO.
GIVE: Support the helpless victims of computer error.
Next time you wave, use all your fingers.
The only perfect science is hindsight.
He does the work of three men: Larry, Moe and Curly.
ROM wasn't built in a day.
But soft, what bird through yonder window breaks?
A procrastinator's work is never done.
Welcome to Westworld, where nothing can go wornggg...
Never judge a book by its movie.
"Captain, why not just give the Borg Windows 3.1?" - Worf
"Captain, I sense a million minds staring at my cleavage."
Call me Ishmael. I won't ANSWER, but...
My favorite mythical creature? The honest politician.
Error opening CLINTON.LIE Cannot recover COUNTRY.USA
Leftists are among the first to speak of their rights.
A penny saved is a Congressional spending oversight.
If you save the world too often, it begins to expect it.
"My God, it's full of stores!" - 2001: A Shopping Odyssey
WWhhaatt ddooeess dduupplleexx mmeeaann??
I like kids, but I don't think I could eat a whole one.
AIBOHPHOBIA - the fear of palindromes.
Oh sure! But what's the speed of dark?
Move your vowels every day or you'll get consonated.
If puns are outlawed, only outlaws will have puns.
RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.
I used to jog, but the ice kept falling out of my glass.
I was the next door kid's imaginary friend.
Don't walk through the screen door, you might strain yourself.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
It was the best of lines, it was the worst of lines...
A dirty book is seldom dusty.
Fish are so hard to toilet train.
Lawyers: the larval form of politicians.
I'm an apathetic sociopath - I'd kill you if I cared.
And they shall plow their swords into beach chairs.
Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
Shareware author dies: .GIF at eleven!
It's a dog-eat-dog world and I'm wearing Milk-Bone shorts.
If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?
Creditors have much better memories than debtors.
The upper crust is just a bunch of crumbs clinging together.
If you hear an onion ring, please answer it!
If you stand up to be counted someone will take your seat.
Pollytheism n.; the belief that God is a parrot.
If you ain't Moslem, you ain't Shiite.
Here I sit, in a tizzy - all my favorite boards are busy.
I'm not Canadian, although I tend to like their bacon.
I smell a rat. Did you bake it or fry it?
What fools these morals be?
"Old poets never die, they just ride off into the sonnet."
I'll have one brain on drugs with bacon, toast and juice.
Psst, your file is open.
Computer illiteracy? You mean my computer's supposed to READ?
Crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it.
Error reading FAT record. Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
Apathy error: Don't bother striking any key.
Will that be cache or chkdsk?
Ignorance is temporary; Stupidity lasts forever!!!
The weather is here, wish you were beautiful.
You've got to hand it to the IRS. If not, they'll come and take it.
If love is blind, lingerie makes great braille.
We all live in a yellow subroutine.
Money is the root of all evils. Send $20 for more information.
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
We secretly replaced the dilithium crystals with Folgers crystals..
Editing is a rewording activity.
File not found, but if you'll hum a few bars...
. ,
, Real GhostBusters,
.
. .
,
, - ,
Jack the Ripper ( , .),
etc.
, ,
,
.
Hex Dumper
Mother Fucker
Code Ripper
LPT1 Crasher
Escape Presser
Ghost Kisser
Widow Maker
Baud Rider
Screen Looker
Cock Sucker
Floppy Breaker
Bit Blitzer
Cunt Chaser
Trail Blaizer
Byte Mover
Char Recognizer
Last-modified: Tue, 30 Jun 1998 12:00:17 GMT