- , - - ! - - , , , kill- ... . , , -... , ... kill , ... ... , ... . kill - ! - ... kill , , - , - ... , , , - ... destination , , ... - kill , - ... , , , ... !!! mail event ?! ! - - , ! , - ! , ! , ... , , , ... , , - , , - , ... - - ! . ! OUT-, , , - - ( - *.*) ZIP - ... - *.*! -. , - - , hold , , ... - ZIP' , , , - - , , - - ... , / , - ... - , , ... , , ... , - ... . - , , . , /, . / - ... - /- , . , . , - ! - ... , . , , . , . - , - ... , , / , ... , -, , - , ... , . , - - - ! , /, - - - - @#$&!!! , , - ! ... , , / ... , ! - ! !  () 54. BBS -- - , , . 55. : - ; :)=| - ; :- - . 56. " ". 57. " " - 4 , . . . ;) . - Hi, ! , ? - , . - , , . , , - , . ... ? ! : ", ! , - RAM !" . , ! - . , , , . . - . . - ... DOS SEG . INT 3 .exe RUN. ! .com - INT 27h! INT 3! ! - . - , ! INT 3! : run time error... : swap disk! ( hot key!) : .. .. disk: ...file not found... ! - 8-() , Ctrl-Alt-Del -! : ? - ! , . open - - ! . - BUG!!! - . - Help! - NOT ROM BASIC... RESET. . , : - , ? - , - . - , - , - ! - .  : (Kill and Send) :-) :)) :-) , ... :( , :((( , !!! , ... No Kills ! No sends ! ( ) ! , ! ! , president@whitehouse.gov, - - -- vice-president@whitehouse.gov. - , , root@whitehouse.gov. , - - - : " , - ." , , . - , . , , - . " "+ " " : " .... ()?" : " - !!!" ... (, ) : : . , - " . , 󅌛 "" " - . , , 򀅒 , " , " " ( ) This has been circulating on the Usenet newsgroup : God calls Bill Gates, Bill Clinton and Boris Yeltsin to his office and says, "The world will end in 30 days. Go back and tell your people." Yeltsin goes to the Russian people and says, "I have bad news and I have worse news. The bad news is that we were wrong, there is a God. The worse news is that the world will end in 30 days." Clinton goes on TV and tells the American people, "I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is that the basic family values upon which we have based our lives are right; there is a God. The bad news is that the world will end in 30 days." Gates goes back to his executive committee and says, "I have great news and I have fabulous news. The great news is that God thinks I'm important. The fabulous news is that we don't have to ship Windows '95!" - , , : - , , ! - ? - , , ! :(   ( ) -, , : "--" - "D". . . - . . . . . - . - , . 14,15. , . , , . - , - . - , , , - , - - . ? : - --... , ..., - . - ? ? : - , - . -, - . , . , - ! : - ! ! , : - . , . , ! : . . . : " - !" , . ... . ... 1995 ... ... ... "" . - ! - ! - ... -... ... -... -... ! - ! - ! - ... ... -... ... -... ! - ! - ! - ... -... . - , ... ! , ! :( Unix? , ** Steve Summit scs@adam.mit.edu als@vl.ts.kiev.ua . 1986 ; , . , , ". . 1" . - ? --------------------------------------------------------------------- , . . , . , , , , ! , . . . 1. ; . 1) . . , , . , , . , . , , ... 2) . . . , - . . . . " " - ! , . . . 1. 3) . . . ? ! . , , , . , . : ". . 1". 4) . , , , . , . ; . . . 1. 5) . . ? , , , , . , - 17:00 18:00 9:30 10:30 11:30 13:30 14:30 15:30, - . . . 1. 6) . , . , . , , . , . . . 1. 7) . . ? , 18- ? , 1. , . , " ". - , , . 1. , . , . --------------------------------- ! _! ! { }! ! | |! ! | |! !. -.!!. -.! !. -!!!!. -.! !!!!;! ! \;! ! \;! !!:! !! |! !| |! !! ! _______________________________! . 1. From: mobil.perm.su!sae@pulsar.ac.msk.su (Alexander E. Soloviev)  DOS, ! DOS, ! ASCII - , - DOS`e, . NC , - DOS , "" , - DOS`e, . , - NC , - DOS , "" , - DOS`e, . , - , - , - , , - DOS , "" , - DOS`e, . AIDSTEST - , , , - , - , - , , - DOS , "" , - DOS`e, . autoexec ( ), AIDSTEST , , , , , - , - , - , , - DOS , "" , - DOS`e, . command.com, , TSR`, autoexec , AIDSTEST , , , , , - , - , - , , - DOS , "" , - DOS`e, .   From: sae@mobil.perm.su (Alexander E. Soloviev) . .  1.  0101010101 - ( , ). , /1, ... , , , . 25 - . -, /1, -. , , ... : . . . , , , ? . , (, , , , , ). 80- ' ! , . . - . , . - , . . () -. - ! - ? - ! - ! , -. - . . , : , , ( ), , . , , - , . . - . . , , - . , . , , , , , -, . , ... - ! , , . , , . . . (-2 " " , ). - ... - , ! . , " -80" '-. , , - ++. ! , .  2.  . , . ... 1 " " goto 3 2 " " goto 1 3 " " goto 2 : " " . ; OK! X <- Y <- //@#$%&"~?| - , . ((( (((((((((((((CHEESE))))))))))))))))))))))))(0) k'_____________ ~ k' -| k' ~ ([|L1],L2,[|L3]) :-( (L1,L2,L3). FP- Apply-To-All/Reply-To-Nobody [F o G] o H :<1,2,3> PAR ruka.levaya ? inmos ruka.pravaya ! transputer OPS-5 (P - ^ ^ -> - ^ ) 0.837465218456 0.8/0.8+0.9/0.9+1.0/7.0 ... .  3. ' '  ( , ' ) - . - ', . , , , ' '. ! , - : , , , '. , , . - , - . ( "is-a"). ' | , | , | , | , . ( ', ). , . , ( ) . , . . 0 - . . , 35 . 50 13 ( ). , ( 13 ). , . . (), '- (, - ). ( , , , ...). , - . . , . , ( ). . . , -.  4.  1. : - . - ! - . 2. . . . " ". - , , . 3. , - - . . , , . , - . 4. . , . 5. . , , . , . .  Hello Sergey! Thursday August 03 1995 04:22, Sergey Troffimovsky wrote to All: ST> . , ST> - , , - ST> - . - . , , " ", , , , - , . -, , , . , , , . , , , , ? , ( 20- ), , , . , , (, ) . , 32 , , NOP' JZ JNE , , . , , , , CRC , , . . sound ( , ) ... /Alex P.S. , , ! , -, . - , , ! - , , . . . : - , : ! .. ! , -----...  Windows , , . , - . - @hh@R ^R 95? Het! - , . - . - . - ! , %$ ... - - - , , %$... - ... , , : " , !" , ! ... ? ? ;))) - ! ! From: "Vladimir V. Sivchik" 2. " ?", 1913 , ; . RESET. DOOM , Meg- ?  -  - , - . - ! , , , - . , ? , "-". ... ! , , , , - ... ! , , ! - , . - , - !  From: Artur Svider . : ", " ---------------------------------- - : , . - .... - , . - , . , . , ? , : - - 5 ! ? : - . , , , ! " , ? - ",- ... " , - , - . , , . ." . ----------------------------------------------- /* TOP SECRET Microsoft(c) Code Project: Chicago(tm) Projected release-date: Spring 1995 */ #include #include #include #include "win31.h" #include "evenmore.h" #include "oldstuff.h" #include "billrulz.h" /* Reference: Internal memo #99281-95 from: William H. Gates III to: Executive managers Chicago(tm)-project William H. Gates III wrote: "I have serious doubts about the 'EASY' installation-definition. It might prevent customers to think that they actually bought something _good_. Therefore I want the installation-definition to be 'HARD'. Carry on, God^H^H^HBill */ #define INSTALL = HARD void main() { while(!CRASHED) { display_copyright_message(); display_bill_rules_message(); do_nothing_loop(); if(first_time_installation) { make_50_megabyte_swapfile(); do_nothing_loop(); totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system(); search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2(); hang_system(); } write_something(anything); display_copyright_message(); do_nothing_loop(); do_some_stuff(); if(still_not_crashed) { display_copyright_message(); do_nothing_loop(); basically_run_windows_3.1(); do_nothing_loop(); do_nothing_loop(); } } /* Reference: Internal memo #99683-95 from: Executive managers Chicago(tm)-project to: William H. Gates III Executive managers Chicago(tm)-project wrote: "Dear Sir, Since we have found that this last piece of code within the 'if'-statement will never execute, we descided NOT to include it in the final code. This way we will save atleast another 5 megabytes of consumer-diskspace! Thank you for listening to us, the executive managers of the Chicago(tm)-project " */ /* if(still_not_crashed) { write_cheer(); finished(); } */ create_general_protection_fault(); } ******************************************************************************* WinJokes Windows: Just another pain in the glass Double your drive-space: delete Windows ! Ever noticed how fast Windows runs ? Neither did I ! Windows: Turn your Pentium into an XT ... Windows: The Gates of hell Windows - The colorful clown suit for DOS Windows'95 is out! (PC Magazine, April 2013) MS-Windows could use yet another liposuction Windows: XT emulator for an AT Windows is for fun, OS/2 is for getting things done OS/2 VirusScan -- "Windows found: Remove it? [Y,n]" Windows'95: New look, same multicrashing Windows isn't a virus, viruses do something Help! There are Windows everywhere! In my car, my house MicroSoft's marketing: "Windows is SEMI-shareware" Windows: From the people who brought you EDLIN ! Time on your hands ? Get Windows ! "Fer sail cheep, Windows spel chekcer, wurks grate" Microsoft Windows ... a virus with mouse support Microsoft gives you Windows ... OS/2 gives you the whole house Newsflash: Microsoft announces Visual Edlin for Windows Sorry, this virus requires MicroSoft Windows 3.x A computer without Windows is like a fish without a bicycle Are you using Windows or is that just an XT ? Bang on the LEFT side of your computer to restart Windows Beat me, whip me, make me use Windows ! Breaking Windows isn't just for kids anymore ... Bugs come in through open Windows Coming soon: EDLIN for Windows DOS 6.0 and Windows 3.1 - A turtle and its shell DOS is just an operating system that runs Windows 3.1 Data to Picard: "No, Captain, I do NOT run WINDOWS !" Despite my car having windows, it still isn't mouse driven ! Difference between a virus and windows ? Viruses rarely fail Error #152 - Windows not found: (C)heer (P)arty (D)ance Error 005: Windows loading - come back tomorrow Exhibitionists love Windows Father, forgive me, I've been caught using Windows ... Have you crashed your Windows today ? I can't wait for EDLIN to be ported for Windows I still miss Windows, but my aim is getting better I'll never forget the 1st time I ran Windows, but I'm trying ... If I wanted Windows, I'd live in a greenhouse ! If Windows is user-friendly, why do you need a 678-page manual ? If Windows sucked it would be good for something Masochist: Windows programmer with a smile ! My latest screen saver: Curtains for Windows New Windows 4.0: programmed in Turbo Logo++ New from McAfee: WinScan - Removes all Windows programs OS/2 ... Opens up Windows, shuts up Gates Out of disk space - Delete Windows ? [Y]es [H]ell yes! Relax ... you are entering a windows free zone Some windows were made to be broken Windows - so intuitive you only need a meg of help files ! Windows 3.1 - The best $89 solitaire game you can buy Windows 3.1 vs OS/2 = Michael Jackson vs Mike Tyson Windows95 will be released as soon as Windows 3.1 finishes loading Windows Multitasking: screwing up several things at once Windows NT: Nice Try Windows NT: Insert wallet into Drive A: and press any key to empty Windows