her it is he  or  the other fellow
who is exerting the "force." In a way it is both, in a way it is neither. It
is best to say that it is the configuration of the two which is crucial.
     MORTAL: You said  a short while ago that our whole discussion was based
on a monstrous fallacy. You still have not told me what this fallacy is.
     GOD: Why, the idea that I could possibly have  created you without free
will!  You  acted as if  this were a genuine possibility, and wondered why I
did not choose it!  It never occurred to you  that  a sentient being without
free will is no more  conceivable  than a  physical  object which exerts  no
gravitational  attraction.  (There is, incidentally, more  analogy than  you
realize  between a  physical object exerting gravitational  attraction and a
sentient  being  exerting  free  will!)  Can you  honestly  even  imagine  a
conscious being without free will? What  on earth could  it be like? I think
that one thing in  your life that has so misled you is your having been told
that I gave man the gift of free  will. As if I first  created man, and then
as  an afterthought endowed him with  the extra property of free will. Maybe
you think I have some sort of "paint brush" with which I daub some creatures
with free will and not others. No, free will  is not an "extra"; it is  part
and parcel of the very  essence of  consciousness. A conscious being without
free will is simply a metaphysical absurdity.
     MORTAL: Then why did you  play along  with me all this while discussing
what I thought was a moral problem, when, as you say, my basic confusion was
metaphysical?
     GOD: Because I thought it would  be good therapy for you to get some of
this moral poison out of your  system. Much  of  your metaphysical confusion
was due to faulty  moral  notions, and so the  latter had  to  be dealt with
first.
     And now  we  must part--at  least until you  need me again. I think our
present union will do much to  sustain you for a long while. But do remember
what I told you about trees. Of course, you don't have  to literally talk to
them if  doing so makes you feel  silly. But there is so much  you can learn
from  them,  as  well as  from the  rocks and  streams  and other aspects of
nature. There is nothing like a naturalistic orientation to dispel all these
morbid thoughts  of "sin" and "free will" and "moral responsibility." At one
stage  of history, such notions were actually useful. I  refer  to the  days
when tyrants had  unlimited power and nothing  short  of fears of hell could
possibly  restrain them.  But  mankind  has  grown up since  then,  and this
gruesome way of thinking is no longer necessary.
     It  might  be  helpful to  you  to recall what  I once said through the
writings of the great Zen poet Seng-Ts'an:
     If you want to get the plain truth,
     Be not concerned with right and wrong.
     The conflict between right and wrong
     Is the sickness of the mind.
--------
        Raymond M. Smullyan. An Epistemological Nightmare
     From Philosophical Fantasies by Raymond M. Smullyan, to be published by
St. Martins Press, N.Y., in 1982.
     Scene 1. Frank is in the office of an eye doctor. The doctor holds up a
book and  asks "What color is it?"  Frank  answers, "Red."  The doctor says,
"Aha,  just as I thought! Your whole color mechanism has gone out of kilter.
But fortunately your  condition is curable, and  I  will have you in perfect
shape in a couple of weeks."
     Scene 2. (A  few weeks later.)  Frank is in a laboratory in the home of
an  experimental epistemologist. (You  will soon find out what  that means!)
The epistemologist holds up a book and also asks, "What color is this book?"
Now, Frank has been earlier dismissed by the eye doctor as "cured." However,
he  is  now of a very analytical and cautious temperament, and will not make
any statement that can possibly be refuted.  So Frank answers, "It seems red
to me."
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: Wrong!
     FRANK: I don't think you heard what I said. I merely said that it seems
red to me.
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: I heard you, and you were wrong.
     FRANK: Let me get  this clear; did you mean  that I was wrong that this
book is red, or that I was wrong that it seems red to me?
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: I obviously couldn't have meant that you  were wrong in
that it is red,  since you did not say that it is red. All you said was that
it seems red to you, and it is this statement which is wrong.
     FRANK: But you can't say that the  statement "It  seems  red to me"  is
wrong.
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: If I can't say it, how come I did?
     FRANK: I mean you can't mean it.
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: Why not?
     FRANK: But surely I know what color the book seems to me!
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: Again you are wrong.
     FRANK: But nobody knows better than I how things seem to me.
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: I am sorry, but again you are wrong.
     FRANK: But who knows better than I?
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: I do.
     FRANK: But how could you have access to my private mental states?
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: Private mental states! Metaphysical hogwash! Look, I am
a  practical  epistemologist.  Metaphysical  problems  about  "mind"  versus
"matter" arise only  from  epistemological  confusions. Epistemology  is the
true foundation of philosophy. But the trouble with all past epistemologists
is that  they have been using  wholly theoretical methods, and much of their
discussion degenerates  into  mere word games. While  other  epistemologists
have been solemnly arguing such questions as whether a man can be wrong when
he asserts that he  believes such and such, I have discovered  how to settle
such questions experimentally.
     FRANK: How could you possibly decide such things empirically?
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: By reading a person's thoughts directly.
     FRANK: You mean you are telepathic?
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: Of course not. I simply did the one obvious thing which
should  be  done,  viz.  I have constructed  a  brain-reading machine--known
technically as a  cerebroscope--that is operative right now in this room and
is scanning every  nerve  cell in  your brain.  I thus  can read your  every
sensation  and thought,  and  it is a simple  objective truth that this book
does not seem red to you.
     FRANK  (thoroughly subdued): Goodness  gracious,  I  really  could have
sworn that the  book  seemed red to me; it sure seems that it  seems read to
me!
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: I'm sorry, but you are wrong again.
     FRANK: Really?  It  doesn't even seem  that it seems red to me? It sure
seems like it seems like it seems red to me!
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: Wrong again! And no matter how many times you reiterate
the phrase "it seems  like" and follow it  by "the book is  red" you will be
wrong.
     FRANK: This is fantastic! Suppose instead of the phrase "it seems like"
I would  say  "I believe that." So  let us  start again  at ground  level. I
retract the statement "It seems red  to me" and instead I  assert "I believe
that this book is red." Is this statement true or false?
     EPISTEMOLOGIST:  Just  a   moment  while  I  scan  the  dials   of  the
brain-reading machine--no, the statement is false.
     FRANK: And what about "I believe that I believe that the book is red"?
     EPISTEMOLOGIST (consulting his dials): Also false. And again, no matter
how  many times  you iterate  "I  believe,"  all these belief  sentences are
false.
     FRANK: Well, this has been a most enlightening experience. However, you
must admit that it is a little hard on me  to realize that I am entertaining
infinitely many erroneous beliefs!
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: Why do you say that your beliefs are erroneous?
     FRANK: But you have been telling me this all the while!
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: I most certainly have not!
     FRANK:  Good God, I was prepared to  admit all my  errors, and  now you
tell me that my  beliefs are not errors; what are you trying to do, drive me
crazy?
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: Hey, take it easy! Please try to recall: When did I say
or imply that any of your beliefs are erroneous?
     FRANK:  Just  simply recall the  infinite sequence  of sentences: (1) I
believe this book is red; (2) I believe that I believe this book is red; and
so forth. You told me that every one of those statements is false.
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: True.
     FRANK: Then  how can you consistently maintain that  my beliefs  in all
these false statements are not erroneous?
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: Because, as I told you, you don't believe any of them.
     FRANK: I think I see, yet I am not absolutely sure.
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: Look, let me put it another way. Don't you see that the
very  falsity of each  of the statements that  you assert saves you  from an
erroneous belief in the preceding  one? The  first statement is,  as  I told
you, false. Very well! Now the second statement is simply to the effect that
you believe the first statement. If the second statement were true, then you
would believe  the first  statement, and  hence your belief  about the first
statement would indeed be in error. But fortunately  the second statement is
false, hence you don't really believe the first statement, so your belief in
the  first  statement  is not in  error. Thus  the  falsity  of  the  second
statement implies  you do not have an  erroneous belief about the first; the
falsity of the third likewise saves you from an erroneous  belief about  the
second, etc.
     FRANK: Now I see perfectly! So none  of my beliefs were erroneous, only
the statements were erroneous.
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: Exactly.
     FRANK: Most remarkable! Incidentally, what color is the book really?
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: It is red.
     FRANK: What!
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: Exactly! Of course the book is  red.  What's the matter
with you, don't you have eyes?
     FRANK: But  didn't I  in effect keep  saying that the  book is  red all
along?
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: Of course not! You kept saying it seems red to  you, it
seems like it seems  red to you, you believe it is red, you believe that you
believe it is red, and so forth. Not once did you say that it is red. When I
originally  asked you "What color is the book?" if  you  had simply answered
"red," this whole painful discussion would have been avoided.
     Scene 3. Frank  comes back  several months later  to  the home  of  the
epistemologist.
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: How delightful to see you! Please sit down.
     FRANK (seated): I have been thinking  of our last discussion, and there
is  much I wish to clear up. To begin with, I discovered an inconsistency in
some of the things you said.
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: Delightful! I love inconsistencies. Pray tell!
     FRANK:  Well, you claimed that although my belief sentences were false,
I  did  not have any actual beliefs that are false. If  you had not admitted
that the book actually is red, you would have been consistent. But your very
admission that the book is red, leads to an inconsistency.
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: How so?
     FRANK:  Look,  as  you correctly  pointed  out,  in  each of  my belief
sentences "I believe it is red," "I believe that I believe it  is red,"  the
falsity of each one other than the first saves me  from  an erroneous belief
in the proceeding one. However, you neglected to take into consideration the
first sentence itself. The falsity  of the  first sentence  "I believe it is
red," in conjunction with the fact that it is red, does imply that I do have
a false belief.
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: I don't see why.
     FRANK: It  is obvious! Since the  sentence  "I believe  it  is red"  is
false, then I in fact believe  it  is not red, and since  it  really is red,
then I do have a false belief. So there!
     EPISTEMOLOGIST (disappointed):  I am sorry,  but  your  proof obviously
fails. Of course the falsity  of the fact that you believe it is red implies
that you don't believe it is red. But this does not mean that you believe it
is not red!
     FRANK: But obviously  I know that it either is red or it isn't, so if I
don't believe it is, then I must believe that it isn't.
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: Not  at all. I believe  that either Jupiter has life or
it  doesn't. But I neither believe that it does, nor  do  I  believe that it
doesn't. I have no evidence one way or the other.
     FRANK: Oh  well,  I  guess you are right.  But  let  us  come  to  more
important matters.  I  honestly find  it  impossible that I can  be in error
concerning my own beliefs.
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: Must we go through this again? I have already patiently
explained  to  you  that  you  (in the  sense  of  your  beliefs,  not  your
statements) are not in error.
     FRANK:  Oh, all right  then,  I simply  do  not believe  that even  the
statements  are in error. Yes,  according to the machine they  are in error,
but why should I trust the machine?
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: Whoever said you should trust the machine?
     FRANK: Well, should I trust the machine?
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: That question involving the word "should" is out  of my
domain. However, if  you  like, I can refer  you to  a colleague who  is  an
excellent moralist--he may be able to answer this for you.
     FRANK: Oh come on now, I obviously didn't mean "should" in a moralistic
sense.  I  simply  meant  "Do  I  have  any  evidence that this  machine  is
reliable?"
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: Well, do you?
     FRANK: Don't ask me! What I mean is should you trust the machine?
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: Should I trust it? I have no idea, and I couldn't  care
less what I should do.
     FRANK:  Oh,  your moralistic hangup again. I mean, do you have evidence
that the machine is reliable?
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: Well of course!
     FRANK: Then let's get down to brass tacks. What is your evidence?
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: You hardly can expect that I can answer this for you in
an hour, a day, or a week. If you wish to study this machine with me, we can
do so, but I assure you  this is  a matter of  several years. At  the end of
that time, however, you would certainly not have the  slightest doubts about
the reliability of the machine.
     FRANK: Well, possibly I could believe  that it is reliable in the sense
that its  measurements are accurate, but then  I would doubt  that  what  it
actually measures  is  very  significant. It  seems that all it measures  is
one's physiological states and activities.
     EPISTEMOLOGIST:  But of  course,  what  else  would  you expect  it  to
measure?
     FRANK: I doubt that  it  measures  my  psychological  states, my actual
beliefs.
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: Are we  back to that again?  The  machine does  measure
those physiological states and processes that you call psychological states,
beliefs, sensations, and so forth.
     FRANK: At this point I am becoming convinced that our entire difference
is  purely semantical. All right,  I  will  grant  that  your  machine  does
correctly measure  beliefs in your sense of the  word "belief," but I  don't
believe that it  has any possibility of measuring beliefs in my sense of the
word "believe."  In  other words I  claim that our entire deadlock is simply
due to the fact that you and I mean different things by the word "belief."
     EPISTEMOLOGIST:  Fortunately, the  correctness  of  your claim  can  be
decided  experimentally.  It  so  happens that I now have two  brain-reading
machines in my office, so I now direct one  to your brain  to find  out what
you mean by "believe" and now I direct the other to my own brain to find out
what  I  mean  by "believe," and now I shall compare the two readings. Nope,
I'm sorry, but it turns out that we mean exactly the same thing  by the word
"believe."
     FRANK: Oh, hang  your machine! Do you believe we mean the same thing by
the word "believe"?
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: Do I believe it? Just a moment  while I check  with the
machine. Yes, it turns out I do believe it.
     FRANK: My goodness, do you mean to say that you can't even tell me what
you believe without consulting the machine?
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: Of course not.
     FRANK:  But most  people when asked what they believe  simply tell you.
Why do you, in order  to find out your beliefs, go through the fantastically
roundabout process of directing a  thought-reading machine to your own brain
and then finding out what you believe on the basis of the machine readings?
     EPISTEMOLOGIST:  What  other scientific,  objective  way  is  there  of
finding out what I believe?
     FRANK: Oh, come now, why don't you just ask yourself?
     EPISTEMOLOGIST (sadly): It doesn't  work. Whenever  I ask myself what I
believe, I never get any answer!
     FRANK: Well, why don't you just state what you believe?
     EPISTEMOLOGIST:  How can  I state what I believe before I know  what  I
believe?
     FRANK: Oh, to hell with your knowledge of what you believe; surely  you
have some idea or belief as to what you believe, don't you?
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: oOf course I have such a belief. But how do I find out
what this belief is?
     FRANK: I am afraid we are getting into another infinite  regress. Look,
at this point I am  honestly beginning  to  wonder whether you may  be going
crazy.
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: Let  me consult the  machine. Yes, it turns out  that I
may be going crazy.
     FRANK: Good God, man, doesn't this frighten you?
     EPISTEMOLOGIST:  Let  me check! Yes, it turns out that it does frighten
me.
     FRANK: Oh please, can't you forget this damned machine and just tell me
whether you are frightened or not?
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: I just told you that  I am.  However, I only learned of
this from the machine.
     FRANK: I can  see that it is utterly hopeless to wean you away from the
machine. Very well, then, let us play along with  the machine some more. Why
don't you ask the machine whether your sanity can be saved?
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: Good idea! Yes, it turns out that it can be saved.
     FRANK: And how can it be saved?
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: I don't know, I haven't asked the machine.
     FRANK: Well, for God's sake, ask it!
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: Good idea. It turns out that...
     FRANK: It turns out what?
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: It turns out that...
     FRANK: Come on now, it turns out what?
     EPISTEMOLOGIST:  This  is  the  most fantastic  thing  I have ever come
across! According  to  the  machine  the best thing  I can do is to cease to
trust the machine!
     FRANK: Good! What will you do about it?
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: How do I know what I will do about it, I can't read the
future?
     FRANK: I mean, what do you presently intend to do about it?
     EPISTEMOLOGIST: Good question, let me consult the machine. According to
the machine, my current  intentions are in complete conflict. And I can  see
why! I am caught in a  terrible paradox! If the machine is trustworthy, then
I had  better accept its suggestion to  distrust it.  But  if I distrust it,
then I  also distrust its  suggestion  to distrust  it, so I  am really in a
total quandary.
     FRANK: Look, I know of someone who I think might be really of  help  in
this problem. I'll leave you for a while to consult him. Au revoir!
     Scene 4. (Later in the day at a psychiatrist's office.)
     FRANK:  Doctor, I am terribly worried about a friend  of mine. He calls
himself an "experimental epistemologist."
     DOCTOR: Oh,  the experimental epistemologist. There is  only one in the
world. I know him well!
     FRANK: That is a  relief. But do you realize  that he has constructed a
mind-reading device that  he now directs to his own  brain, and whenever one
asks him what he thinks, believes, feels, is afraid of, and so on, he has to
consult the machine first before  answering? Don't you think this is  pretty
serious?
     DOCTOR:  Not  as  serious as  it might seem.  My prognosis  for him  is
actually quite good.
     FRANK: Well, if you are a  friend of his, couldn't you sort  of keep an
eye on him?
     DOCTOR: I do see  him  quite frequently, and  I  do observe  him  much.
However,  I  don't  think   he  can  be  helped  by  so-called  "psychiatric
treatment." His problem is an unusual one, the  sort that has to work itself
out. And I believe it will.
     FRANK: Well, I hope your  optimism  is justified.  At any rate  I  sure
think I need some help at this point!
     DOCTOR: How so?
     FRANK:  My  experiences with  the epistemologist  have  been thoroughly
unnerving! At this point I wonder if I may be going crazy; I can't even have
confidence  in how things appear to  me. I think maybe you could  be helpful
here.
     DOCTOR: I would be happy to but cannot for a while. For  the next three
months  I am unbelievably overloaded with work. After that, unfortunately, I
must go on a three-month vacation. So  in six  months come back  and  we can
talk this over.
     Scene 5. (Same office, six months later.)
     DOCTOR: Before we go into your problems, you will be happy to hear that
your friend the epistemologist is now completely recovered.
     FRANK: Marvelous, how did it happen?
     DOCTOR: Almost,  as  it were, by  a  stroke  of fate--and yet  his very
mental activities were, so to speak, part of  the "fate."  What happened was
this: For months after you last saw him,  he went  around worrying "should I
trust  the machine, shouldn't I  trust  the machine, should I, shouldn't  I,
should  I,  shouldn't  I."  (He  decided to  use  the  word "should" in your
empirical sense.)  He  got nowhere!  So  he then decided  to "formalize" the
whole argument. He reviewed his study of symbolic logic,  took the axioms of
first-order  logic, and  added as  nonlogical axioms  certain relevant facts
about  the  machine.  Of course the resulting  system  was  inconsistent--he
formally  proved  that  he  should trust the  machine  if  and  only  if  he
shouldn't, and  hence that he both should and should not  trust the machine.
Now, as you  may know,  in  a system based on classical  logic (which is the
logic  he  used),  if  one can  prove  so  much as  a  single  contradictory
proposition, then one  can prove  any proposition,  hence  the  whole system
breaks down. So  he decided to  use  a logic weaker than classical  logic--a
logic  close to what is known as "minimal logic"--in which  the proof of one
contradiction  does not  necessarily entail the proof of  every proposition.
However, this system  turned out too weak to  decide the question of whether
or not he should trust the machine.  Then he had the  following bright idea.
Why not use classical logic  in his system  even though the resulting system
is inconsistent? Is an inconsistent system necessarily  useless? Not at all!
Even though given any proposition, there  exists a proof that it is true and
another proof that it is false, it may be the case that for any such pair of
proofs, one  of them  is  simply  more psychologically  convincing than  the
other, so simply pick the proof you actually believe! Theoretically the idea
turned out very  well--the  actual  system he obtained  really  did have the
property  that  given  any such  pair of  proofs,  one  of them  was  always
psychologically far more convincing than the  other. Better  yet,  given any
pair of contradictory propositions, all proofs of one  were more  convincing
than any proof  of the other. Indeed, anyone except the epistemologist could
have used the system  to  decide  whether the machine could  be trusted. But
with the epistemologist, what happened was this: He obtained one proof  that
he should trust the  machine and another proof  that  he  should  not. Which
proof was more convincing to him,  which proof  did he really "believe"? The
only way he could find out was to consult the machine! But he realized  that
this would  be begging the question, since his consulting the  machine would
be  a  tacit admission that he  did  in  fact trust the machine. So he still
remained in a quandary.
     FRANK: So how did he get out of it?
     DOCTOR: Well, here is where fate kindly interceded. Due to his absolute
absorption  in the  theory of this problem, which  consumed about his  every
waking hour, he  became  for  the  first  time  in  his life  experimentally
negligent. As a result, quite  unknown to  him, a  few  minor  units  of his
machine  blew  out! Then, for the  first time,  the  machine started  giving
contradictory  information--not  merely  subtle   paradoxes,   but   blatant
contradictions.  In  particular,  the  machine  one  day  claimed  that  the
epistemologist believed  a  certain proposition and a few days later claimed
he  did not  believe  that proposition.  And  to  add  insult to injury, the
machine claimed that  he had  not  changed  his belief in the last few days.
This was enough to  simply make him totally distrust the machine.  Now he is
fit as a fiddle.
     FRANK: This  is certainly  the most amazing thing  I have ever heard! I
guess the machine was really dangerous and unreliable all along.
     DOCTOR:  Oh,  not  at all; the machine used to  be excellent before the
epistemologist's experimental carelessness put it out of whack.
     FRANK: Well,  surely  when  I  knew it,  it  couldn't  have  been  very
reliable.
     DOCTOR: Not so, Frank, and this brings us to your problem. I know about
your entire conversation with the epistemologist--it was all tape-recorded.
     FRANK: Then surely you  realize the machine  could not have been  right
when it denied that I believed the book was red.
     DOCTOR: Why not?
     FRANK:  Good God, do I have to  go through all  this nightmare again? I
can understand that  a  person  can  be wrong  if  he claims  that a certain
physical  object  has  a certain  property, but have you ever known a single
case when  a  person can be mistaken  when he claims to have  or not  have a
certain sensation?
     DOCTOR:  Why, certainly! I once knew a Christian  Scientist who  had  a
raging toothache;  he was  frantically  groaning and  moaning all  over  the
place.  When asked  whether a dentist  might  not cure him,  he replied that
there was  nothing  to be cured. Then he  was  asked,  "But do  you not feel
pain?"  He replied, "No, I do not feel pain; nobody feels  pain, there is no
such thing as pain, pain is  only an illusion." So  here is a case of a  man
who claimed not to feel  pain, yet everyone present knew perfectly well that
he did feel pain. I certainly don't believe he was lying, he was just simply
mistaken.
     FRANK:  Well,  all  right, in  a case like that.  But  how can  one  be
mistaken if one asserts his belief about the color of a book?
     DOCTOR: I can assure you that without access to any machine, if I asked
someone what color  is this  book, and he answered, "I believe it is red," I
would be very doubtful that he really believed it. It seems to me that if he
really  believed it, he would answer, "It is red" and not  "I believe it  is
red"  or  "It seems red to me." The  very  timidity of his response would be
indicative of his doubts.
     FRANK: But why on earth should I have doubted that it was red?
     DOCTOR: You  should know that better than  I. Let us  see now, have you
ever in the past had reason to doubt the accuracy of your sense perception?
     FRANK: Why, yes.  A few weeks  before  visiting  the  epistemologist, I
suffered from  an eye disease, which  did  make me see colors falsely. But I
was cured before my visit.
     DOCTOR: Oh, so no wonder you doubted it was red! True enough, your eyes
perceived  the  correct  color  of  the  book, but your  earlier  experience
lingered in your mind and  made it impossible  for  you to really believe it
was red. So the machine was right!
     FRANK: Well, all right, but then why did I doubt that I believed it was
true?
     DOCTOR: Because you didn't believe it was  true, and unconsciously  you
were smart enough to realize  the fact.  Besides, when  one starts  doubting
one's  own sense perceptions, the doubt spreads like an infection  to higher
and  higher levels  of abstraction  until  finally the  whole  belief system
becomes one  doubting  mass  of insecurity. I  bet that if  you went  to the
epistemologist's office now, and if the machine  were repaired, and  you now
claimed that you believe the book is red, the machine would concur.
     No,  Frank,  the   machine  is--or,  rather,  was--a   good  one.   The
epistemologist learned much from it,  but misused it  when he applied  it to
his own brain. He really  should have  known better  than to  create such an
unstable  situation. The  combination  of  his brain and  the  machine  each
scrutinizing  and  influencing  the behavior of  the other  led  to  serious
problems  in  feedback. Finally  the  whole  system  went into a  cybernetic
wobble. Something was bound to give sooner or later. Fortunately, it was the
machine.
     FRANK:  I  see.  One  last question, though. How  could the  machine be
trustworthy when it claimed to be untrustworthy?
     DOCTOR: The machine never claimed to be untrustworthy, it  only claimed
that the epistemologist would be better off not trusting it. And the machine
was right.
--------
        D. C. Dennett. Reflections
     If Smullyan's nightmare strikes you as too outlandish to be convincing,
consider a more realistic fable--not a true story, but surely possible:
     Once  upon a time there  were two  coffee tasters, Mr.  Chase  and  Mr.
Sanborn, who worked for Maxwell House. Along with half a dozen other  coffee
tasters, their job  was to ensure  that the  taste of  Maxwell  House stayed
constant, year after year. One day, about six years after Mr. Chase had come
to  work for  Maxwell  House, he  cleared his  throat and  confessed  to Mr.
Sanborn:
     "You know, I hate to admit it, but I'm not enjoying this work any more.
When I came to Maxwell House six years ago, I  thought Maxwell House  coffee
was the best-tasting coffee in the world. I was proud to have a share in the
responsibility for preserving that flavor over the years. And we've done our
job  well; the coffee tastes  today just the way it  tasted when I  arrived.
But, you know,  I no longer  like it! My tastes have changed. I've  become a
more sophisticated coffee drinker. I no longer like that taste at all."
     Sanborn greeted this revelation with considerable interest. "It's funny
you should  mention  it,"  he  replied, "for  something rather  similar  has
happened to  me.  When I arrived here, shortly before  you did, I, like you,
thought Maxwell House coffee was tops in flavor. And now I, like you, really
don't care for the coffee we're making. But my tastes haven't changed; my...
tasters have changed. That is, I  think  something  has gone wrong  with  my
taste buds or something--you know, the way your taste  buds go off  when you
take a  bite of  pancakes and  maple syrup and then go  back  to your orange
juice? Maxwell House coffee doesn't taste to me the way it used to taste; if
only  it did,  I'd still  love it, for  I still think that taste is the best
taste in coffee. Now, I'm not saying we haven't done our job well. You other
guys all agree that the taste is the same, so it must be my problem alone. I
guess I'm no longer cut out for this work."
     Chase and Sanborn are alike in one way. Both used to like Maxwell House
coffee; now  neither one likes it. But they claim to be different in another
way:  Maxwell House tastes to Chase  the way it always did, but not  so  for
Sanborn. The  difference seems familiar and striking, yet when they confront
each  other, they may begin  to wonder  if their  cases arc  really all that
different. "Could it be," Chase might wonder, "that Mr. Sanborn is really in
my predicament and just hasn't noticed the gradual rise in his standards and
sophistication as  a  coffee  taster?" "Could it be," Sanborn  might wonder,
"that Mr. Chase is kidding himself when he  says the  coffee tastes just the
same to him as it used to?"
     Do you remember your first sip of beer? Terrible! How could anyone like
that  stuff? But  beer, you reflect, is  an acquired  taste;  one  gradually
trains oneself--or just comes--to enjoy that flavor. What flavor? The flavor
of that first  sip? No  one could like that flavor! Beer tastes different to
the experienced beer drinker. Then beer isn't an acquired taste; one doesn't
learn  to  like  that  first  taste;  one  gradually  comes to  experience a
different, and likable, taste. Had the  first sip tasted that way, you would
have liked beer wholeheartedly from the beginning!
     Perhaps, then,  there is no separating the taste  from the  response to
the taste, the judgment of good or bad. Then Chase and Sanborn might be just
alike,  and  simply  be  choosing  slightly  different  ways  of  expressing
themselves. But if they were just alike, then they'd actually  both be wrong
about something, for they each have  sincerely denied that they are like the
other. Is it conceivable that each could have inadvertently misdescribed his
own  case  and described the other's instead? Perhaps Chase is the one whose
taste buds have changed, while Sanborn  is the sophisticate.  Could  they be
that wrong?
     Some philosophers--and other people--have thought that a person  simply
cannot be wrong about such a matter. Everyone is the final and unimpeachable
arbiter of how it is with him;  if Chase and Sanborn have  spoken sincerely,
and have made no unnoticed slips of language, and if both  know the meanings
of their words, they  must have expressed the truth  in each  case. Can't we
imagine tests  that  would tend to confirm their different tales? If Sanborn
does poorly on discrimination tests he used  to pass with flying colors, and
if, moreover,  we  find  abnormalities in his  taste  buds  (it's  all  that
Szechuan  food  he's  been eating  lately, we discover), this  will  tend to
confirm his view  of his  situation.  And if  Chase passes  all  those tests
better than he used to, and exhibits increased knowledge of coffee types and
a great interest in their relative merits and peculiar characteristics, this
will  support his view of himself.  But if such tests could support  Chase s
and  Sanborn's  authority,  failing  them  would  have  to  undermine  their
authority. If Chase passed  Sanborn's tests and Sanborn passed Chase's, each
would have doubt cast on his account--if such tests have any bearing  at all
on the issue.
     Another  way of  putting  the point  is that the price you  pay for the
possibility  of confirming your authority  is the  outside chance  of  being
discredited. "I know what  I like," we are all prepared  to insist,  "and  I
know what it's like to be me!" Probably you do, at least about some matters,
but that is  something  to  be checked  in  performance. Maybe,  just maybe,
you'll discover that  you really don't know as  much as you thought  you did
about what it is like to be you.