Roy Conrad. Grozny. A few days...
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     Home page: http://www.anycities.com/user/conrad/ ¡ http://www.anycities.com/user/conrad/
     E-mail: croy2000@mail.ru
     Date: 19 Feb 2003
     Russian original of this text is placed at
     http://lib.ru/MEMUARY/CHECHNYA/grozny.txt ¡ http://lib.ru/MEMUARY/CHECHNYA/grozny.txt
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        Preface
     Dear Reader,
     You  have  surely  heard that far away,  in South  Russia, a  cruel and
bloody  war has  been going  on  for many months. In a small anclave  called
Chechnya,  the Russian  military are  fighting  several  rebel groups  which
demand independence and creation of an Islamic state.  Some of these  groups
wish to  establish such a  state only  in Chechnya itself. Others intend  to
create a  larger  state  that would  include  vast areas of southern Russia,
areas  that  are predominantly  Moslem.  Some of  these  groups are  extreme
fundamentalists, others are  following the mainstream Islam.  Some emphasize
their connection to Taliban,  some deny. Some groups are heavily involved in
organized crime and  drug  trafficking,  some  are not. Some  groups consist
predominantly of  natives, some  others are  dominated  by fighters who come
from Arab countries, Pakistan, Afganistan and even  from England in  hope to
die  for  Allah  and  to  ascend  to  the  Paradise.  Some groups  obey  the
self-styled  rebel  "government,"  while  most obey only  their fearless and
lawless warlords.
     Accounts  of  that  conflict,  provided  by  the  Western   media,  are
controversial  and sometimes  contradictive. Prior to 9-11-2001,  the  media
emphasized  the  cruelty  with  which the military were  trying to quell the
rebellion.  Some  of  those awful stories  didn't hold water, but some  were
true.  After  that  date,  it  has  often  been mentioned  that  the Russian
Government is fighting its battle against international terrorism, that some
Al-Quaeda associates have got refuge in the Chechen mountains and that  many
Chechen warlords had been trained in the Taliban military schools.
     Still,  many  critics  of Russian policies  insist  that  the  army  is
excessively  tough  and  that  the  suffering  of  the  civilians  has  been
unbearable.  The  Russian  media,  on  its  part,  writes  a lot  about  the
atrocities  against the population carried  out  by the  rebel gangs.  As  a
matter of fact, a considerable portion of the population has  left that area
and has found refuge in the nearby regions of Russia.
     What  is really going on in Chechnya?  How many faces does this tragedy
have? In  fact, even for an  experienced political scientist it is very hard
to offer  a full  account of the events and of their  roots. The life of the
Caucases  region  is a tapestry of  many  strands,  some  of  which have for
centuries  been stained  with  blood,  vengeance  and  unrest.  The  present
conflict  is  a result  of many political,  cultural, religious and economic
reasons  and its  complexity  cannot be reduced to a  small  set of  pivotal
matters.
     This war has  a strong smell of oil, but it would be extremely naive to
state that this is merely a fight for oil-rich terrain.  This war has a very
distinct smell of heroin, but it  would  be utterly  wrong to think that the
Russian  Government is simply  trying to cut the old drug-trafficking roots.
The  past decade  has been marked  by revival of the ancient craft of ransom
kidnapping and slave trade in Chechnya,  however,  this  military  operation
cannot be defined  as another  attempt  to reduce crime.  This  is a war for
political independence and for  the tribal pride, but at the same time it is
a  tragic sibling feud, because the Chechen society itself  is  dramatically
split on this issue. This  is a war for the unity of Russia, but at the same
time  there are  circles in  the  Russian society which  benefit  from  this
warfare  through  shady  arms  deals.  Finally,  this war  is  largely about
militant fundamentalist  Islam,  and still this  struggle  is not merely  an
anti-terrorist action similar to  that  carried out by the US in Afganistan.
There is still more to it...
     Once, in some pro-rebel newspaper I came across an article by a Chechen
intellectual who insisted that this war is not merely a conflict between the
State and  the rebel underground, but rather  is a profound conflict between
the freedom-loving tribal  spirit and the modern way of life. Well, I am not
an  expert in history, even less  in  ethnography, but all my  experience of
life  in those lands  tells me that this author  has his point. What is  for
certain is that the old rule "War  is continuation of economics" badly fails
in this instance.
     I have lived in Chechnya for 40 years. Though being of Slavic origin, I
know the language and the  ways of the Natives. Together with  that  land, I
have  lived  through  its most desperate  and cruel months. I witnessed  its
successful push for de-facto independence from Russia and I saw  how swiftly
this independence evolved into a complete independence from law and order. I
saw how barbarianism and anarchy swept over that area and I have acquired an
experience  of living  in an almost  neandertal  society which was,  though,
equipped with cars, rifles, machineguns, and cellular telephones.
     In my documentary story I  shall  describe  the events  that  I  became
witness to, and which have  dramatically changed  my life,  the life  of  my
family, as well as the lives of hundreds of thousands of people who had been
unfortunate to live in Chechnya in early 90-s.I'm  one of those who suffered
from Holocaust in Grozny. My story will help you learn something you haven't
heard before, something which was concealed from you.
     Since this is an introduction, may I start out with a bit of history.
     The area where I used to  live  was known, in the Soviet epoch,  as the
Chechen-Ingush Republic and used to be an administrative unit of the Russian
Federation  (which itself was a Republic  or in  the American terms, a State
within  the  former Soviet Union).  The Chechen-Ingush Republic consisted of
two anclaves:  Ingushetia and  Chechnya, which  were populated predominantly
(though far  not exclusively) the Ingush and Chechen peoples, appropriately.
Most  part  of  the  1.5-million-strong  population  of  the  Chechen-Ingush
Republic has always  been Moslem. The capital of  the  Republic  was Grozny,
founded  in 1818 as a fort  to  protect the  boundaries of  Russia  from the
attacks of savage  Caucasian tribes.  Through almost two  centuries the town
had  been developing and eventually grew  out  from a provincial fort into a
prominent industrial city which had its theaters, universities and colleges,
industries and crafts.
     Some 12 years ago Grozny was a hardworking city with  the population of
470,000 people. It used to be a large center of oil-processing. It also  had
dozens of factories producing mechanical hardware. Their production  used to
be exported to more than 60 countries. It  was some 12 years ago... A lot of
water and blood have passed under the  bridge since then. Changes began when
a group of  enthusiasts came up with a good slogan:  Return  the  historical
tribal  land  to  its  people   and  establish  an  independent  Chechen  or
Chechen-Ingush state. The  Ingush people soon rejected this option and chose
to form  a separate  Ingush Republic which has  been  since then a  part  of
Russia. In  Chechnya,  however, the slogans of independence and tribal pride
began gaining  support  from  various strata  of society: from the organized
crime  and  from  the  clergy,  from  some  tribal  elders  and   from  some
intellectuals, and  even  from  some  of  the  former  Soviet officials  who
understood  that  in  a quasi-independent  anclave  they would  be  able  to
privatize the state-owned property without giving a share or even a bribe to
the Moscow bureaucrats. One of such high officials,  retired Soviet Airforce
general Dudaev  was  "elected" as  a  "President" of  the new-born  "Chechen
People's Republic of Ichkeria." Whether he was elected by democratic vote or
by  some other mechanisms  (like, say,  fusillades in  the streets) will  be
studied by the historians. What is truly important  is that the then Russian
President Yeltsin accepted Dudaev as a ruler of Chechnya and agreed to grant
him  a very  large degree of independence in exchange for support in federal
matters. This is how the story began, in peace and agreement. It ended  in a
bloodshed unseen by those lands since the years of the World War ll.
     I  want to tell you  this story as seen by the eyes of a simple citizen
who  happened to become  a cog of the  state  machine in an  hour  when that
machine started to badly falter. In my story  you will not find a scientific
analysis  of  that tragedy, but  you will  find an  account of  the everyday
events, an  honest sketch of that life. Possibly, some future historian will
want to use it as food for thought.
     Before I  start, may I express my sincere gratitude  to my friends  who
helped me with translating this story intoEnglish.
         About the story
     In my  story I tried to present a concise chronicle of events that took
place  in  the city  of Grozny  prior to and during  the  period  which some
journalists  used  to miscall "Chechen Revolution". A term like "The eve  of
Chechen Tragedy" would be more adequate. I apologize for some possible minor
chronological inaccuracies.  Over the past years,  my life has been  full of
events and changes; so it is hard to trace back some of the past events with
high precision in time.
     I  will not offer  to  your  attention  an  exhaustingly  comprehensive
account of those months and years. This is, after all, not a  diary but only
a  short memoire, a description  of that  life as experienced by an ordinary
man from the street.. After this story had been written, it came not once to
my   mind  to   add  to   it  more   details  and  descriptions.  When   the
Russian-language  version  of  this story  appeared on  the  web,  I started
getting letters  and calls from my friends who  lived  in Grozny during  the
described  period. They began to  remind me of more and more episodes  which
were  relevant  and  deserved  being included  into  the story.  After  some
hesitation, I decided not to  do this. First of all,  the present content is
sufficiently  informative, and I  do not want to  overload the  reader  with
excessive  amount  of  heart-rending  episodes  or  with  excerpts from  the
official news of that time. Second, it is quite a  burden for me to write of
those events  and even to cast my thoughts back to that my past. For several
years after having  fled  Chechnya, I used  to  often  wake up in the  night
because  of  nightmares  tormenting  me: each  night  I  saw  ruined houses,
desolete parks, and  a burned skeleton of  my  apartment  building. In these
nightdreams,  I was running away from the gang. I  heard their war-cries and
gunshots, tried to shoot back, and was persistently missing the  approaching
targets, and only awakening used to save me from what  seemd to be imminent.
I  heared that some  of the Holocaust survivors used to  experience  similar
symptoms for years after the war.
     Nowadays I live a happy life and don't want those nightmares to return.
I don't have guts  to live through  that inferno again and again, even in my
thoughts and recollections.
     Dozens of thousands of people who  fled Grozny live now all over Russia
and abroad. Some of them are professional jounalists, writers and  academics
and they  can write better than I did. I  asked one of them to do so, but he
refused  and  honestly  explained me the reason: he  and  his family live in
Russia,  and no one  will  protect them  from  the possible revenge  of  the
tribesmen  insulted  by  his  testimony.  Russia  does  not  have  a witness
protection  scheme.  I understand him,  because  I  myself did often receive
agitated and aggressive "responses" from some  readers who threatened me and
promissed to cut my throat.
     This story has been written at the  request of Vyacheslav  Mironov, the
writer who participated, as a Russian army officer,  in the military campagn
of  1995, also called First Chechen War. (His semi-documentary book "Assault
on Grozny Downtown" can be found at).
        1990...
     Well,  that  was it!  My working day was over and  it  was time to head
toward  my  garage.  I  was driving  there  with one  thought  in  my  mind:
"Hopefully,  the day when I shall drive my "Own" car, is not  that far away.
Sure, it will be neither a fancy  Mercedes,  nor even  a Lada, but  rather a
tiny Zaporozhets, but still - my own". "Some day..."
     I did understand that it was a kind of shame not to afford a car at the
age of  38. What made things worse was that having a car  had always been my
cherished dream. Anyway, not much could be done about that: cars were highly
expensive  in the former Soviet  Union and in the  post-Soviet era they were
regarded  as  a  sort  of  luxury.   I  am  quite  a  handy  man,  almost  a
jack-of-all-trades: I can fix various equipment and appliances  with  my own
hands.  Besides being a qualified craftsman,  I am  a pretty  stubborn sort:
when necessary, I can work double shifts. I really  did enjoy working like a
drudge horse: it is  a  part of my nature. I  started my career as a  simple
worker right  after  I  had  finished  my  compulsory  military  service. My
part-time  studies at a  technical university  helped  me to  grow  from the
ranks:  from a  worker, I  was promoted  to  a  technician  and  then  to an
engineering position.
     My wife  was  a schoolteacher and a really good one she was. "She had a
talent  for it". Beside  our regular full-time jobs, we both  used  to  work
extra hours part-time. Nonetheless, we never became really rich, for a thing
was true  in those days that  are still true in the post-Soviet  era: honest
labor   never  paves  the  way  to   wealth.  Those  who  have  studied  the
sophisticated mechanism  of the post-Soviet economy know that straining  the
limits  of  the law has made almost  all good fortunes there.  In the Soviet
epoch we had quite a  few underworld millionaires,  especially in the South;
but  their success  was achieved  through corruption  and the  black market.
Later, when the market and private enterprise became legal, many became rich
with their hands remaining clean. But don't look under their nails...
     The mockery of it was that in mid- and north Russia there was and still
is, a  common opinion  that the folks from the Caucasus are moneyed and well
off. It was a ridiculous assumption, wholly  provincial in  concept,  and as
nonsensical as  any  myth. These days, crowds of the so-called New  Russians
travel across Europe, with a lot of  money to  burn and vice to  spare. Does
this mean that Russia is a prosperous country? No, it simply illustrates the
strident gap  between our oligarchs and the rest of  the population. Back in
the late Soviet era, we had a similar stratification  in the  Caucasus. This
may sound like  a revelation  to those who think that the Communist ideas of
economic equality were fully implemented in  the former Soviet Union. In its
European  and  Siberian parts they were in force (to  some extent, at least)
and the level of corruption was not that high.
     But please do not ask about Middle Asia and the Caucasus. Rather try to
imagine  a  weird symbiosis of  feudalism and  early capitalism, where local
feudal lords hold the  positions of  Party bosses  and unofficially  tax the
underground  economies.  A certain share goes to  the  local police, while a
considerable part goes to  Moscow, sometimes to the very top of the pyramid.
Here are  the rules of the game.  The  regional  Party bosses (many  of whom
represented the local tribal  aristocracy) were  doing their best to conceal
the incredible corruption and to make  the impression that the  Caucasus and
Middle Asia were living in compliance with Soviet laws. Moscow, on its part,
pretended that  it believed in this. This concord rested on mutual interests
and often on  generous "presents"  in money  and in kind, that used to  flow
from  the  southern provinces to the  Moscow  political elite. The paramount
reason was the one known since times immemorial: whenever aging rulers of an
oversized empire were trying to keep it under control, they often  preferred
to  give carte blanche to  the local satraps in  exchange for their loyalty.
This system can work  for dozens of years,  sometimes even for centuries. It
works until the  central government gets weak, so that the satraps can break
out and become kings of their domains.  So  it happened in the Soviet Union,
but while the center was strong enough, the satrap system kept  functioning.
As a result, most population in the semi-feudal regions of the Soviet  South
lead the  life of sweat  and toil, but  the richest part of  the southerners
used to travel to Moscow and Leningrad, and to  dazzle everyone  with  their
thick wallets and unbelievably deep  pockets. Much like the New Russians are
embarrassing Europe these days. Hence  the myth about the Soviet southerners
being rich...
     According  to  the  official Soviet ideology  inherited  from  Stalin's
epoch,  the  Russian people  collectively were  the "Senior Brother"  of the
other  people, which were  labeled as  its "Junior Brothers." An interesting
nuance of the real life in  the Soviet Asia and Caucasus is  that  the major
landowners and black-market  businessmen, as well as  most  of the  (utterly
corrupted)  local  Party  elite  were  representatives of  the  local tribal
aristocracy and,  generally,  of the  local nations. As a result, the ethnic
Slavs and other  people of non-local origin were, typically, concentrated in
the poorest  strata  of the society  in  such provinces. They  were workers,
engineers, teachers,  small-time governmental  officials, but never big-time
shots  or, Heaven forbid, underground businessmen.  The  latter was reserved
strictly for the locals who knew the way around  and,  most  important, were
interconnected by tribal links  and  the Omerta.  The social texture  of the
Soviet South will forever remain a puzzle  for  the Ivy League and  Oxbridge
cognoscentii...
     How  did this  social  mechanism  work in  Grozny? Well,  in  a  pretty
standard manner. When so ever  it came to work at a factory or in a foundry,
that sort of jobs was left for the "Senior Brother." However, the profitable
jobs (the ones that had  something to do with goods distribution of steeling
deficit  raw materials)  were  by  default reserved  for the locals. "Simply
because they had connections." The  local Party bosses  had their  families,
clans  and tribes; and  one's loyalty to his clan  has  always been the most
important  thing  in  the  South.  Suppose,  some  local  guy  gets  through
protection of his relative Party boss, a good profitable position that gives
him an  opportunity for  some illegal business. This guy has a wife, and she
has numerous relatives. Hence, it will be  a  matter of honor for the guy to
do his very best, to help all those relatives  to  get employed in a similar
manner at the same place. And so forth...
     Involvement in illegal economics  may once a while lead people to jail.
But never for too long for the  local judges and prosecutors alike, know the
rules of the game, and  their  positions  are merely a camouflage for  their
extortion business. To  put  it  bluntly, they all took bribes, bribes  that
were presented as gifts, either to  them  or to someone  else in their clan.
Sometimes it was not about "gifts" and "cash", but about "special" relations
between clans and families. As a rule, everything  was eventually settled in
a peaceful way. This rule, as any, had exceptions.
     Those exceptions,  though, reflected  not the  ability of the system to
punish  corruption,  but  contradictions  between  the tribal  and political
clans.  People  who came from traditional, especially Moslem  societies know
what I  mean. One may be the most honest man in the world, but he will never
have guts to challenge the laws of tribal solidarity.
     Of course, many of  the local nations worked  on  the farms and plants,
but only at positions where they could get some extra profit. In addition to
that, they acquired the habit to litter with money. Why should one save that
what is earned so easily?
     Especially  at  resorts,  Ministries, because of that  the Caucasus has
received a fame as a prosperous rich area. This fame has  been  fortified by
different auditors and commissions from the Capital (Moscow). The guests are
traditionally  honored  in the  Caucasus,  but  not  all,  just  exceptional
ones-like bosses.  Not  only are they treated to  many  delicacies, but also
given expensive gifts. Exactly after such an honorable hospitality, a famous
"Human  Rights  Activist" - Sergey  Kovalyov  - had  fallen in love with his
future supporters.
     As for us, we didn't rub shoulders with top  dogs or "younger brothers"
so we earned our living, which was extremely meager. By the way, our pay was
far too smaller than the one in Russia and even far  less than in Moscow. We
had to shop at black markets, but in Moscow they  could  shop at the  stores
with stable  prices. That's why  whenever we had a vacation, we didn't think
about going  to the seaside, we  thought about clothes and  shoes we need to
buy for a stable price and went to Moscow for  shopping. We lived from  hand
to mouth,  borrowing  the  money  all the time.  Some  people were  a little
luckier than others,  but the  time  was flying  and the  life went  on  and
everybody knew what to expect in the future.
     I still remember the general hilarity which was caused by Gorbachev. It
was like a mass psychosis. Everybody felt as if they were newly born! I wish
these hilarious people had  a  vision into the nearest future, about 2 years
ahead.  What  has  he done, what  kind  of  "nationalistic"  porridge has he
cooked? It will take a long time to manage this hopeless mess. Possibly with
his coming to power I developed a gift  of future vision, frankly, I call it
intuition. To my great  pity, almost all  of my predictions had been carried
out, some of them even in a more horrible way than I wanted.
     I was "lucky" with  my  car, but there was no choice.  With each coming
day the economic  situation worsened. Agriculture,  light industry, chemical
industry was almost dead. Only gas and oil industries were still working. If
on  the mainland  the  people didn't  suffer  from delayed  pay  crisis,  in
Chechnya  we experienced great  difficulties because of stopped payments. It
looked like something was going to happen. I needed to hurry. As a result of
a long search, I managed to find a car, which I could  afford.  The deal was
6,000 rubles.  I  paid  with  my gold  ring  (my  mother's gift  during  the
"stagnation"  period, - 500 rubles), a  state bond (valued at 2,500  rubles)
plus 3,000  rubles in cash, which  was borrowed from  my wife's student.  My
wife had to pay back  by teaching her student privately for almost 6 months.
As a result, we because  the owners of a cute white body (ZAZ - 968M) with a
set of wheels,  disintegrated dashboard and a six-year-old engine. Thanks to
the fact that the car stayed in a  shack  there  was no rust,  but the  hens
living  in  the  same shack  seemed  to  like  it  because there was lots of
feathers and straw in it.
     The car was towed to the  garage of one of my friends in a plant region
and  I  started  the  restoration. I didn't  have any previous car  mechanic
experience;  only sometimes I  had to deal with car problems. Also, I didn't
have blueprints, so having started from scratch, step by  step; I managed to
reanimate the car in 1 month. The easiest  part was the electric part; there
I had a  lot of experience. As a result, all hardware was restored thanks to
the help of my friends, the specialists. I  lacked many things to finish the
job successfully, but our people  would never fail. It's no  problem  if you
stopped by a neighbor's garage and asked for advice. Car owners -  were like
one family, but  I was  just a beginner, so  why not share their experiences
with  me?  Frankly speaking,  I  had to  stay  in  the  garage  rather late,
sometimes well  over midnight, and sometimes  I even stayed there overnight.
The day when the car started  to "cough" for the first time was the happiest
day for me, so I decided to finish early. It was 9 or 10 pm. It used to take
15 min.  to reach  the  tram  stop,  up to  the  "Central" stop. Then up  to
"Grozneftyanaya",  and  20 min.  more  up  to  "12th  Trust"  stop  where my
apartment was. I used the same route many times but the  only thing I didn't
think about was  safety  at such  a late  hour. But, here I need to stop and
explain something.
     For many years,  beginning with the `80s, the city dwellers didn't have
a  wish  to  go  outside   when  it  was  getting  dark.  We  lived  in  the
Chechen-Ingush republic, where the law and the power were only on paper, and
taking into  consideration some specific features of  native  people, it was
not safe (putting it mildly)  to go outside  at night. Chechens have  always
hated the people  of another  faith, and  after Gorbachov  has  successfully
destroyed  the  country  and every  nationality  has  started  a  fight  for
independence, the dream of ousting the "aggressors" had become more real.
     Well, some people  acted in a civilized way,  some only started to talk
about  it,  but Chechens  had their own  way of solving  this  problem. Even
during the  so-called "stagnation" period  our  republic topped the list  of
criminals  in the country. Almost every Chechen teenager carried a knife and
never hesitated to use it. Robberies, violence,  and fights were  so common,
that nobody cared much about  them. Only sometimes, when  the prey was a top
dog or some boss, for an example, the leading actress of one company touring
in  our  drama theater. Chechens managed to kidnap  her right after the show
and the parts of her  mutilated body were found  in the local river the next
day. Besides, the laws  were indifferent to such situations. The explanation
like  "not blooded  Caucasians" was very  handy, and  it  was not allowed to
upset "the  young brother". But if by chance Russian guys  beat Chechens, in
this case the law would ask a question, "How did they dare!"
     Some  people  moved out  of  the republic,  some came.  Those  who were
leaving weren't numerous. Some people  including me,  started to  understand
that a thunderstorm was coming. To say that it came out of the blue would be
wrong. In our city  we  had  a TV program schedule, which  was  printed on a
flyer, and  on the backside of that flyer they printed  intercity apartments
exchange. First, those ads occupied only a quarter of a page, but then there
were many of them. I analyzed their quantity and meaning attentively.
     The number of  people moving out of the republic was the  same, but the
number of people  willing to move to  the republic was increasing.  Chechens
were  willing to move  to the republic. Very soon the moving ads started  to
occupy  the whole flyer.  I knew perfectly  well  what  it meant. I tried to
discuss  it  with my  parents,  acquaintances and friends. But all  of  them
didn't take the situation  seriously. They used  to say that it  was natural
that  Chechens and  Ingushes  wanted to live in  their own  republic because
everybody wanted  to be  independent.  Not once did I talk with my wife, she
was all for moving out, but... Everything depended on our parents.
     Unfortunately, we couldn't  just flee  and dump our parents.  But  they
didn't want to move out. They laughed  at my forecasts. They used to calm me
down  by saying  that Chechens would soon change for the better, they  would
get  their cherished independence  and everything would go well. They use to
tell me: - "Well, Just think, how  will they do without our  hands,  because
technology is  not their field? Russian hands are needed everywhere. How can
they handle refineries!"
     Well, my parents were  not that old. They didn't need constant care and
were ready  to  start  any moment,  if  it  came  to that  (as  it  actually
happened). But, as for my  wife's parents, the problem was far more serious.
Her  father  could walk slowly to the nearest  store (40 min.) using a cane,
although  the distance was about 300 m. As  for her mother, she could hardly
move. That's why we had to shop for groceries for them, visit pharmacies and
do some house chores almost every  evening. That's  why they didn't  want to
leave their long-occupied place. Though, they had a wonderful chance because
their son (my  wife's brother) was a top dog  in Vladivostok and worked as a
Professor at  the University  there. But,  unfortunately, he didn't have any
desire to see his parents, well, and they also didn't want to move. Frankly,
taking into consideration the changes for the worst, we managed to own a car
even though it was very hard. As it proved later, the car did save our lives
not once.
     Usually I came home from my garage after midnight. At that  time it was
not that dangerous. Everybody had a chance  to party  and  come back home. I
was happy at that time but  I  didn't think that I picked the wrong time for
coming back home.  I got on  a  street car and took a seat behind the driver
starting to think about  my car and what else  I could do for it. There were
some  elderly  people on  the tram sitting here and there. A  group of young
Chechens  got  on  the street car  at  the  next  stop  and became  rowdy. I
understood that if they paid attention at me, I wouldn't be  in for it,  but
my  stop was rather near. Unfortunately, my hopes were in vain.  The  voices
came nearer and sounded meaner, more aggressive and squealed.
     According  to  the number of their voices,  there were four of them, "I
thought". So, to hope  for a "gentleman" style fight was stupid. Not without
reason,  200 years ago  the Chechens were given the nickname - "jackals". In
addition, they  had  knives. If I tried to resist, they would cut  my throat
anyway, but in that case my wife is under  threat, because they  would never
calm  down unless they  revenged upon the family of their prey that dared to
resist. Only one thing remained - to grit my teeth and try to stay calm.
     - Well, you, kike, it's not Moscow here!
     The  blow to my  face came  from the side! My glasses got  broken,  the
blood poured  into  the eye. Blows and  blows, and more blows...  I couldn't
think of  anything, only  ringing  in the  ears, only  one  thought kept  on
piercing my mind - "don't  move and don't fall". Then  there was a stop  and
the voices disappeared.
     I  tried to revise  the damages. A piece of glass was above my eye  - I
took  it out. Got up, looked around,  one eye could  still see. Same elderly
people, they  all looked  down,  to the floor. I  understood them and didn't
accuse.  Only  one  old lady  -  Chechen  lady - not  far from me started to
lament.
     - Vakh, vakh! What have they done to you? These hooligans?
     I couldn't suppress my  tears any more and  they poured from my eyes. I
cried  because  of  lack  of retaliation, lack of  fighting back and holding
myself back  in order  not  to fight.  Shame and  hatred to myself filled my
heart?
     - Why were you silent? They are YOUR grandchildren. They MUST obey when
you talk. And now you feel sorry for me? Remember!!! When you, your children
and grandchildren will be obliterated like mad  dogs, remember  me! Remember
your silence!
     The street car stopped  and I got out. I didn't remember  how I reached
my apartment.
        1991...
     Life is becoming harder and harder every day. No authority.  Well, lots
of people in police uniforms  were on the streets, but the republic was full
of  anarchy.  Who did  they  serve and protect - remained  unknown.  On  the
streets there were lots of armed Chechens in  civilian and military clothes.
Pay and  pension  pays were delayed for a  few  months and were not paid  in
full. The delays became longer and longer.
     A new  high-rise KGB headquarters building was seized and robbed. I was
told about the  details of that seizure  by one of our friends, a KGB major,
which worked in that building. One  weekend  there  were only 2 officers  on
duty in the building. They  were in the hallway. When the  crowd started  to
bang on the locked  doors, one of the officers  -  a Russian - headed to the
door  to talk to the crowd. His partner - a Chechen  - shot him in the  back
several times. After that he unlocked the door and let the crowd in. Robbery
and vandalism started. The bandits  seized a thousand  uniforms and armament
for  Special Forces.  But,  they  seized not  only  this.  They  also  stole
everything  they  could, even pens and paper. The things they couldn't carry
were  smashed  on  the spot. A unique telephone  system was in the building.
Only 5 or  6 kinds of such a system were produced in Russia and the cost was
terrific. The equipment was crushed and shot.
     Later,  some  Russian technicians from the  Central Security Department
were  "invited" as specialists to restore the equipment, at least partially.
They  told  me as their  former colleague what  they  saw  there. The  whole
building looked like a huge  public restroom. Dingy, shabby walls, urine and
excrements everywhere. It was impossible to  look at  the equipment  without
shudder. Torn out cables  and wires, crashed bulbs and indicators, scattered
parts of equipment. There was no word about any restoration.
     But even if  it were possible  to restore  some parts,  the technicians
didn't have  any desire to  talk about it. They  knew perfectly well that it
would be the job done for the enemy.
     Whatever general conviction could be about everybody working for money,
the people started to wake up. Not everything can be bought or sold.
     The seizure was  successful, Moscow preferred not  to pay attention and
the Chechens were  glad they were not punished. Only some people knew  about
that in our city because nobody  took any  interest in such  departments and
their fate.  So much more anxiety was caused by the outrageous kidnapping of
the State University Rector Viktor, Kan-Kalik.
     The purpose of the kidnapping was rather clear in spite of the followed
official  explanations.  The  Chechens  sent a  message  for  the people  to
understand whom the real master in the Republic was and what would happen to
those  who  didn't  understand  that. The  process  of  ousting  all  of the
unfaithful from leading positions was under way.
     Among  our  acquaintances, there  were  people  of  different  classes,
including directors of plants and CEOs. We heard from them that the Chechens
advised  them  to  quit  their  jobs.  But  nobody took  it  seriously.  The
kidnapping was bold and outrageous. In broad daylight, Chechens  in civilian
clothes entered Rector's  cabinet,  grabbed  him, forced him into  a car and
drove away. The  witness didn't  say a word. After a few months of  official
search a burned corpse was allegedly found somewhere, but we will never know
the truth.  Only one  thing  was real  - his death  was horrible because, he
became human prey in beastly hands.
     Every day we went  to work, discussed  current events and all that time
we had a feeling that it was a dream. What was happening seemed  unreal.  It
looked like everything was just going on it's own way but something sinister
was  above  the  head.  Shootings  were not  rare.  The  shops  didn't  have
groceries. We could  shop only  at the market. The prices were  skyrocketing
and there was no money. To withdraw the money which one  saved  for years in
the bank was impossible. At night the city was solitary and quiet.
     Somewhere, in  the still  of the  night, gunshots could  be  heard. Who
fought against whom was unclear. Some people who owned orchards dared to  go
there, only during daytime but often useless. Somebody had  already gathered
the harvest and the  security was reluctant to  explain. But, what could  an
elderly  security man do against  armed robbers? The only thing  he could do
was to sit quietly in his cabin and prey they didn't kill him.
     My father called me at my job place.
     -  You were right. Look  for somebody  who  wants to  buy our apartment
urgently. Your mother and I want to leave.
     - Ready?
     - Yes.  It's terrible. Don't  want to talk about it  on the phone. Come
quickly.
     My  parents' apartment was downtown on Partizanskaya St., opposite  the
Republic's Art Foundation. From their  4th floor, they  witnessed
the scene, which soon became an  ordinary sight in many parts of the city. A
few  Russians were passing by the Republic's Art Foundation  Building. A car
"Volga"  passed by and then stopped.  Some armed Chechens got out of the car
and shot  down the poor guys with their automatic guns. Then slowly got into
the car and drove away. After this horrible scene, which was witnessed by my
parents, they understood at last what  "independent Ichkeria" meant. Both of
my parents went through war,  fought  against fascists during WWII, but this
scene shocked them with its senseless cruelty.
     We  had many acquaintances  among Chechens but to  pick out a  reliable
buyer was  really hard  in order not  to pay  their life's savings for that.
But, anyway in a week  the problem  was solved. One of our  acquaintances, a
University Professor, an intellectual  guy of our age was glad  to have such
an  opportunity. His  relatives were coming from  Russia and  the  apartment
price, which went drastically down due to a great outflow of the population,
was  just  good for him.  A  few days before the sale  of  the apartment, my
father  asked  me  to  move  his  car  -  "Zhiguli-5" to  the  relatives  in
Prokhladnoe. He was not a good driver and the car mileage was ridiculous.
     So,  he wouldn't make it. This trip was  a very  risky  one, to put  it
mildly, because many drivers were killed even for used cars. There were many
accidents like  this, they killed not only unfaithful but also the people of
their faith,  and in our case my  father's car was almost brand new and made
for export. But there was no way out. My father didn't want to part with the
car;  it was  his  favorite toy and  joy, which he was able to buy  with his
honest work. He  used to drive the car when he went fishing or  visiting his
relatives, the rest of the time he used to polish and admire it.
     It  didn't take a long  time for me  to get ready for the trip. I put 2
jerry cans of gasoline into the trunk  because of gasoline shortages, an old
fish net for  camouflage, some fishing accessories and 2 bottles  of `Vodka'
into the glove compartment. Of  course, I took `Vodka' not for drinking, but
it served as  a form  of currency,  which could be used at  any time. In the
morning I went into  the garage, made  the sign  of  the cross  for  myself,
although I was not baptized yet at that time and left. The most terrible and
risky part was to cross our own border.
     I reached the post between the Chechen-Ingush Republic and Osetia at 10
am. I  tried  to reach  there not too early, in  order not to  attract extra
attention. I drove  up  to the post  slowly,  fortunately,  there wasn't any
traffic. Who could drive under such circumstances and not be shot?
     I was not  so lucky. There  was a fire not  far from  the post and some
people were sitting around eating shashlik. One  man got up and headed in my
direction,  staggering  without making a sign  for  me  to stop. However, he
pulled  a  machine  carbine   gun  from  behind  and  another  large-caliber
machine-gun was beside the  people, sitting around the fire. Of course, if I
revved up quickly, then in a few seconds I could  be one, two hundred meters
away  from  this place,  and he wouldn't be able  to shoot, his reaction was
impaired, but the position of the  machine-gun was  much better and it could
shoot rather far, but my car could move only along this straight road. I had
to put on the brakes and smile.  I got out of the car and the "dzhigit" with
his swollen, unshaven face