t: cry, laugh, get angry, anything."
     "But what is she like when she is not acting?" I asked Nestor.
     "She's just crazier than a bat,"  Benigno  answered in a soft voice. "I
met Josefina the  first day she arrived. I had  to carry her into the house.
The  Nagual  and I  used to  tie her down  to her bed all the time. Once she
began to cry for her friend, a little girl she used to play with.  She cried
for  three  days. Pablito consoled her  and fed her like a  baby. She's like
him. Both of them don't know how to stop once they begin."
     Benigno suddenly  began to sniff the air. He stood up and  went over to
the stove.
     "Is he really shy?" I asked Nestor.
     "He's shy and eccentric," Pablito answered. "He'll be that way until he
loses  his form. Genaro told us  that we will lose our form sooner or later,
so there  is no  point in  making  ourselves miserable  in trying  to change
ourselves  the way the  Nagual told us to. Genaro told us to enjoy ourselves
and not worry about  anything. You and the women  worry and try; we  on  the
other hand, enjoy. You don't know how to enjoy things and we don't  know how
to  make ourselves miserable. The  Nagual called  making yourself miserable,
impeccability; we call it stupidity, don't we?"
     "You are speaking for yourself, Pablito," Nestor said.
     "Benigno and I don't  feel  that way." Benigno  brought  a bowl of food
over and  placed it in front of me. He served everyone. Pablito examined the
bowls and asked Benigno where he had found them. Benigno said that they were
in a box where la Gorda had told him she had  stored  them. Pablito confided
in me that those bowls used to belong to them before their split.
     "We  have to be careful," Pablito said in  a nervous tone. "These bowls
are no doubt bewitched. Those bitches put something in them.  I'd rather eat
out of la Gorda's bowl."
     Nestor and Benigno began to eat. I noticed then that  Benigno had given
me the brown bowl. Pablito seemed to be in a great turmoil.  I wanted to put
him at ease but Nestor stopped me.
     "Don't take him so seriously," he said. "He loves to be that way. He'll
sit down and eat. This is where you and the women  fail. There is no way for
you to understand that Pablito is like that. You expect everybody to be like
the Nagual. La Gorda is the only one who's unruffled by him, not because she
understands but because she has lost her form."
     Pablito sat down  to  eat and among the four  of us we finished a whole
pot of food. Benigno washed the bowls and carefully put them back in the box
and then all of us sat down comfortably around the table.
     Nestor proposed that as soon as it got dark we should all go for a walk
in a ravine nearby, where  don  Juan, don  Genaro and I used  to go. I  felt
somehow  reluctant. I did not feel confident enough in their company. Nestor
said that they were used to walking in the  darkness and  that the  art of a
sorcerer  was to be inconspicuous  even in the  midst of people. I told  him
what don Juan had once said to me, before he had left me in a deserted place
in the mountains not too far from there. He had demanded  that I concentrate
totally  on trying not to be obvious. He said  that the  people of  the area
knew everyone by sight. There were not very many people, but those who lived
there walked around all  the time and could spot a stranger from miles away.
He  told me  that many of  those people had firearms and would  have thought
nothing of shooting me.
     "Don't  be concerned with beings  from  the other world," don Juan  had
said laughing. "The dangerous ones are the Mexicans."
     "That's still valid," Nestor said. "That  has been valid all the  time.
That's why the Nagual and Genaro were the artists they were. They learned to
become  unnoticeable  in  the  middle  of  all  this.  They  knew the art of
stalking."
     It was  still too  early for our walk in  the dark. I wanted to use the
time  to ask Nestor my critical question. I had been avoiding it all  along;
some  strange  feeling had  prevented  me from  asking. It was as  if I  had
exhausted my interest after Pablito's reply. But Pablito  himself came to my
aid and all of a sudden he brought up the subject as if he  had been reading
my mind.
     "Nestor also jumped  into the abyss the same day we did," he said. "And
in that  way he  became the Witness, you became the Maestro and I became the
village idiot."
     In a casual manner  I asked Nestor to tell me about  his  jump into the
abyss. I tried to sound only mildly interested. But Pablito was aware of the
true nature of my forced indifference. He laughed and told Nestor that I was
being cautious  because I had  been deeply disappointed with his own account
of the event.
     "I went over after you two  did," Nestor said, and looked  at me  as if
waiting for another question.
     "Did you jump immediately after us?" I asked.
     "No. It took me quite  a while to get ready," he said. "Genaro and  the
Nagual didn't tell me what to do. That day was a test day for all of us."
     Pablito seemed  despondent. He  stood up from his  chair and paced  the
room. He sat down again, shaking his head in a gesture of despair.
     "Did you actually see us going over the edge?" I asked Nestor.
     "I am the Witness," he said.  "To witness was  my path of knowledge; to
tell you impeccably what I witness is my task."
     "But what did you really see?" I asked.
     "I  saw  you  two holding each other  and running toward  the edge," he
said. "And then I saw you both like two kites against the sky. Pablito moved
farther out in a straight line and then fell down. You went up a  little and
then you moved away from the edge a short distance, before falling down."
     "But, did we jump with our bodies?" I asked.
     "Well, I don't  think there  was  another  way to do  it," he said, and
laughed.
     "Could it have been an illusion?" I asked.
     "What are you trying to say. Maestro?" he asked in a dry tone.
     "I want to know what really happened," I said.
     "Did you by  any chance  black out, like Pablito?" Nestor asked  with a
glint in his eye.
     I tried to explain to him  the nature of my quandary about the jump. He
could not hold still and interrupted me. Pablito intervened  to bring him to
order and they  became involved in an argument. Pablito squeezed himself out
of it by walking half seated around the table, holding onto his chair.
     "Nestor  doesn't see beyond his nose," he said  to me.  "Benigno is the
same. You'll get nothing from them. At least you got my sympathy."
     Pablito cackled,  making  his  shoulders shiver, and  hid his face with
Benigno's hat.
     "As far as  I'm  concerned, you two  jumped,"  Nestor  said to  me in a
sudden outburst. "Genaro and the Nagual had  left you with no other  choice.
That was their art, to corral  you and  then lead  you to the only gate that
was open.  And so you two went over  the edge. That  was  what I  witnessed.
Pablito says that he  didn't feel a thing; that is questionable. I know that
he was perfectly aware of everything, but he chooses to feel and say that he
wasn't."
     "I really wasn't aware," Pablito said to me in an apologetic tone.
     "Perhaps,"  Nestor said  dryly. "But I was aware myself, and I saw your
bodies doing what they had to do, jump."
     Nestor's assertions put me in  a strange frame of mind. All along I had
been seeking validation for what I had perceived myself. But once I  had it,
I  realized that it made no difference. To know that I had jumped and  to be
afraid of what  I had perceived was one thing; to seek consensual validation
was another.  I  knew then that  one had no necessary  correlation with  the
other. I had thought all along that to have someone else  corroborate that I
had taken that  plunge would absolve my intellect of its doubts and fears. I
was wrong. I became instead more worried, more involved with the issue.
     I began to  tell Nestor that although I had come to see the two of them
for the specific purpose  of  having them  confirm that I had  jumped, I had
changed my mind  and I really did not want to talk about it anymore. Both of
them started  talking  at once, and at  that  point we fell into a three-way
argument. Pablito maintained that he had not been aware, Nestor shouted that
Pablito was indulging and I said that I  didn't want to  hear anything  more
about the jump.
     It was blatantly obvious to me  for the first time that none of us  had
calmness and self-control. None of us Was willing  to give the  other person
our undivided attention, the way  don Juan and  don Genaro did. Since I  was
incapable of maintaining  any order in our exchange of  opinions, I immersed
myself in my own deliberations. I had always thought that the only flaw that
had prevented me from entering fully into don Juan's world was my insistence
on  rationalizing everything,  but  the presence  of Pablito and  Nestor had
given me a new  insight into myself.  Another flaw  of mine was my timidity.
Once  I strayed outside the safe railings of common sense, I could not trust
myself and became  intimidated by the awesomeness of what unfolded  in front
of me. Thus, I found it was impossible to believe that I had  jumped into an
abyss.
     Don Juan  had insisted that the whole issue of  sorcery was perception,
and truthful  to that, he and don Genaro  staged, for our  last meeting,  an
immense,  cathartic drama on the flat mountaintop. After they made  me voice
my  thanks in loud clear  words to everyone who had ever helped me, I became
transfixed with elation. At  that point they had caught all my attention and
led  my  body  to perceive  the  only  possible act  within their  frame  of
references:  the  jump  into   the   abyss.  That  jump  was  the  practical
accomplishment of my perception, not as an average man but as a sorcerer.
     I had been so absorbed  in  writing  down my thoughts I had not noticed
that Nestor  and Pablito  had stopped  talking and all  three  of  them were
looking  at  me.  I  explained to  them  that  there  was no  way for  me to
understand what had taken place with that jump.
     "There's nothing to  understand," Nestor said. "Things  just happen and
no one can tell how. Ask Benigno if he wants to understand."
     "Do you want to understand?" I asked Benigno as a joke.
     "You  bet  I  do!"  he exclaimed in a deep bass voice, making  everyone
laugh.
     "You indulge  in saying that  you  want to understand," Nestor went on.
"Just like Pablito indulges in saying that he doesn't remember anything."
     He looked at Pablito and winked at me. Pablito lowered his head.
     Nestor asked me if I had noticed something about Pablito's mood when we
were about to take our plunge. I had to admit that I had been in no position
to notice anything so subtle as Pablito's mood.
     "A warrior  must notice everything," he said. "That's his trick, and as
the Nagual said, there lies his advantage."
     He smiled  and made a deliberate gesture  of embarrassment,  hiding his
face with his hat.
     "What was it that I missed about Pablito's mood?" I asked him.
     "Pablito  had already jumped before  he went over," he said. "He didn't
have to do anything.  He may  as well have sat down on  the edge instead  of
jumping."
     "What do you mean by that?" I asked.
     "Pablito was already disintegrating," he replied. "That's why he thinks
he passed out. Pablito lies. He's hiding something."
     Pablito  began to speak to me.  He muttered some unintelligible  words,
then gave  up  and slumped  back  in his  chair. Nestor also started  to say
something. I made him stop. I was not sure I had understood him correctly.
     "Was Pablito's body distegrating?" I asked.
     He peered at  me for  a long time without saying a word. He was sitting
to my right. He moved quietly to the bench opposite me.
     "You must take what I say seriously," he said. "There is no way to turn
back  the wheel  of time to  what we were  before that jump. The Nagual said
that  it  is  an  honor  and a  pleasure to be a warrior, and that it is the
warrior's fortune to do what  he has to  do. I  have to tell  you impeccably
what I have witnessed. Pablito was disintegrating. As you two ran toward the
edge only you were  solid.  Pablito was like a cloud. He thinks that he  was
about to fall on his face, and you think  that  you  held him by the  arm to
help him make it  to the edge.  Neither of  you  is correct,  and I wouldn't
doubt that it would have been better for both  of  you if you  hadn't picked
Pablito up."
     I felt more confused than ever. I truly believed that he was sincere in
reporting  what he  had  perceived, but I  remembered that I had  only  held
Pablito's arm.
     "What would have happened if I hadn't interfered?" I asked.
     "I  can't answer that,"  Nestor replied. "But I  know that you affected
each other's luminosity. At the moment you put  your arm around him, Pablito
became more solid, but you wasted your precious power for nothing."
     "What did you do after we jumped?" I asked Nestor after a long silence.
     "Right  after  you two had disappeared," he said,  "my nerves  were  so
shattered that I couldn't breathe and I too passed out, I don't know for how
long. I thought it was only for a moment. When I  came to my senses again, I
looked around for Genaro and Nagual; they were gone. I ran back and forth on
the  top  of  that mountain,  calling them until my voice was hoarse. Then I
knew  I was alone.  I walked to the edge of the cliff and tried  to look for
the sign that the earth gives  when a warrior is  not going to return, but I
had already  missed  it. I  knew then  that Genaro and the Nagual were  gone
forever. I had not realized until then that they had turned to me after they
had said good-bye to you two, and as you were running to the edge they waved
their hands and said good-bye to me.
     "Finding myself alone at that  time of  day, on that deserted spot, was
more than I could bear. In one sweep I had lost all the friends I had in the
world. I  sat down  and wept. And as  I got  more and more scared I began to
scream as loud as I could. I called Genaro's name at the top of my voice. By
then it was pitch-black. I could no longer distinguish any landmarks. I knew
that as  a warrior I had no business indulging in my grief. In order to calm
myself down I began to howl like a coyote, the way the Nagual had taught me.
After howling for a while I felt so much  better that I forgot my sadness. I
forgot that the world  existed. The more I  howled the easier it was to feel
the warmth and protection of the earth.
     "Hours must have passed. Suddenly I felt a blow inside of me, behind my
throat, and the sound of a bell in my cars. I remembered what the Nagual had
told Eligio and Benigno before they  jumped. He said that the feeling in the
throat came just before one was ready to change speed, and that the sound of
the bell was  the vehicle that one could use to accomplish anything that one
needed. I wanted to be a coyote then. I looked at my arms, which were on the
ground in  front of me. They had changed shape and looked like a coyote's. I
saw the coyote's fur on my arms  and chest. I was a coyote! That made  me so
happy that I  cried like a coyote  must cry. I  felt my  coyote teeth and my
long and pointed muzzle and  tongue. Somehow, I knew that I  had died, but I
didn't care. It  didn't matter  to me to have turned into a coyote, or to be
dead, or to be alive. I walked like a  coyote, on four legs, to the  edge of
the precipice and leaped into it. There was nothing else for me to do.
     "I  felt that I was falling down and my coyote body turned in the  air.
Then I was myself again  twirling  in midair. But before I hit  the bottom I
became so light that I didn't fall anymore but floated. The air went through
me. I was  so light! I believed that my death  was finally coming inside me.
Something  stirred my insides  and  I  disintegrated like dry sand.  It  was
peaceful and perfect where I was. I somehow  knew that I was there and yet I
wasn't. I was nothing. That's  all I can say about it. Then, quite suddenly,
the same thing that had made me like dry sand  put me together again. I came
back  to  life and I found  myself  sitting  in the  hut of  an  old Mazatec
sorcerer. He told me his name was Porfirio. He said that he  was glad to see
me  and began  to teach  me certain things about  plants  that Genaro hadn't
taught me.  He took  me  with him to  where the plants were being  made  and
showed  me the mold of plants,  especially the  marks on the molds. He  said
that if I watched for those marks  in the  plants I  could easily tell  what
they're good for, even if I had never seen those plants before. Then when he
knew that I  had learned  the marks he said good-bye but invited  me to come
see him again. At that moment I felt a strong pull and I disintegrated, like
before. I became a million pieces.
     "Then I was pulled again into myself and went back to see  Porfirio. He
had, after all, invited me. I knew that I could have gone anywhere  I wanted
but I chose Porfirio's hut because he was kind to me and taught me. I didn't
want to risk finding awful things instead. Porfirio took me this time to see
the mold of the animals.  There  I saw  my  own nagual animal.  We knew each
other  on  sight. Porfirio was  delighted  to  see  such  friendship. I  saw
Pablito's and your own nagual too, but  they didn't want to talk to me. They
seemed  sad. I didn't insist on talking  to  them. I didn't know how you had
fared in your jump. I knew that I was dead myself, but my nagual said that I
wasn't and  that you  both  were also alive.  I asked about  Eligio, and  my
nagual said  that  he  was gone forever. I remembered  then that when  I had
witnessed Eligio's and Benigno's  jump I had heard the Nagual giving Benigno
instructions not  to  seek bizarre visions or  worlds  outside  his own. The
Nagual told him to  learn only about  his own world,  because in doing so he
would find  the only  form of power available to him. The Nagual  gave  them
specific  instructions to  let their pieces  explode as far as they could in
order  to  restore their  strength. I did the same myself.  I went  back and
forth from the tonal to the nagual eleven times.  Every time, however, I was
received by Porfirio who instructed me further. Every time my strength waned
I restored it in the nagual  until a time when I restored it so  much that I
found myself back on this earth."
     "Dona Soledad told me that  Eligio didn't have to jump into the abyss,"
I said.
     "He jumped  with Benigno," Nestor said. "Ask him, he'll tell you in his
favorite voice."
     I turned to Benigno and asked him about his jump.
     "You bet we jumped together!" he replied  in a blasting  voice. "But  I
never talk about it."
     "What did Soledad say Eligio did?" Nestor asked.
     I  told  them that dona  Soledad had said that Eligio was twirled by  a
wind and left the world while he was working in an open field.
     "She's thoroughly confused," Nestor said. "Eligio  was twirled  by  the
allies. But he didn't want any of them, so they let him go. That has nothing
to  do with  the  jump. La Gorda said that you had a bout  with allies  last
night; I don't know what you did,  but if  you  had wanted to catch them  or
entice them to stay with you, you had to spin with them. Sometimes they come
of their own  accord  to  the  sorcerer and  spin him. Eligio was  the  best
warrior there was  so the allies came to him  of their own accord. If any of
us want the allies, we would have to beg them for years, and even if we did,
I doubt that the allies would consider helping us.
     "Eligio had to jump like everybody else. I  witnessed his  jump. He was
paired with Benigno. A lot  of  what happens to us as  sorcerers  depends on
what your partner does. Benigno is a  bit off his rocker because his partner
didn't come back. Isn't that so, Benigno?"
     "You bet it is!" Benigno answered in his favorite voice.
     I succumbed at that point to a great curiosity that had plagued me from
the  first  time I had  heard  Benigno  speak. I asked him how  he made  his
booming voice. He  turned to face me. He sat up straight and pointed to  his
mouth as if he wanted me to look fixedly at it.
     "I don't know!"  he boomed. "I just open my mouth  and this voice comes
out of it! "
     He contracted  the muscles of his forehead, curled up his lips and made
a profound booing sound. I  then saw that he had tremendous  muscles  in his
temples, which  had  given his  head a  different contour. It  was  not  his
hairline that was different but the whole upper front part of his head.
     "Genaro left him his noises," Nestor said to me. "Wait until he farts."
     I  had the feeling that  Benigno was getting  ready to  demonstrate his
abilities.
     "Wait, wait, Benigno," I said, "it's not necessary."
     "Oh, shucks!" Benigno exclaimed in a tone of disappointment. "I had the
best one just for you."
     Pablito and Nestor  laughed so hard that  even Benigno lost his deadpan
expression and cackled with them.
     "Tell me what  else happened to Eligio," I asked  Nestor after they had
calmed down again.
     "After  Eligio and Benigno jumped," Nestor replied, "the Nagual made me
look  quickly over the edge, in order to catch the sign the earth gives when
warriors jump into the abyss. If there  is something like a little cloud, or
a faint gust of wind, the warrior's time on  earth  is not over yet. The day
Eligio and Benigno  jumped I felt  one puff of air  on the  side Benigno had
jumped and I knew that his time was not up. But Eligio's side was silent."
     "What do you think happened to Eligio? Did he die?"
     All three of  them stared at  me. They  were quiet for a moment. Nestor
scratched his temples with both hands. Benigno giggled and shook his head. I
attempted to explain but Nestor made a gesture with his hands to stop me.
     "Are you serious when you ask us questions?" he asked me.
     Benigno answered for me. When  he was not clowning, his voice  was deep
and melodious. He said that the Nagual and Genaro had set us up so all of us
had pieces of information that the others did not have.
     "Well,  if that's  the case  we'll  tell you what's what," Nestor said,
smiling  as if a great load  had been lifted  off his shoulders. "Eligio did
not die. Not at all."
     "Where is he now?" I asked.
     They looked at one  another again.  They gave me  the feeling that they
were struggling to keep from laughing.  I  told  them  that all I knew about
Eligio was what dona Soledad had  told me. She had said that Eligio had gone
to the other world to join the  Nagual and Genaro. To  me that sounded as if
the three of them had died.
     "Why do you talk like that. Maestro?" Nestor asked with  a tone of deep
concern. "Not even Pablito talks like that."
     I thought Pablito was  going to protest. He  almost stood  up,  but  he
seemed to change his mind.
     "Yes, that's right," he said. "Not even I talk like that."
     "Well, if Eligio didn't die, where is he?" I asked.
     "Soledad already told you,"  Nestor said softly.  "Eligio  went to join
the Nagual and Genaro."
     I decided that  it was  best not to ask any  more questions.  I did not
mean  my  probes  to be  aggressive,  but they  always turned out that  way.
Besides, I had the feeling that they did not know much more than I did.
     Nestor  suddenly stood up and began to pace back and forth  in front of
me.  Finally he pulled me away from the table by my armpits. He did not want
me to write. He asked me if I had really blacked out like Pablito had at the
moment of jumping and did not remember anything. I told him that I had had a
number  of vivid dreams or visions  that I could not explain  and that I had
come to see them to  seek clarification. They wanted to hear about  all  the
visions I had had.
     After they had heard my accounts, Nestor said that my visions were of a
bizarre order  and only the first two were  of great importance and  of this
earth; the rest  were  visions  of alien worlds. He explained  that my first
vision was of special value because  it  was an  omen proper.  He  said that
sorcerers  always took a first event of  any series as  the blueprint or the
map of what was going to develop subsequently.
     In  that particular vision I had found myself looking at an  outlandish
world.  There was an enormous  rock right in front of my eyes,  a rock which
had  been split  in  two. Through a  wide gap in it  I could see a boundless
phosphorescent  plain,  a valley  of  some  sort,  which  was  bathed  in  a
greenish-yellow  light.  On  one  side  of  the valley,  to the  right,  and
partially  covered  from  my  view  by  the  enormous  rock,  there  was  an
unbelievable domelike structure.  It was dark, almost a charcoal gray. If my
size was what it is  in the world of everyday life, the  dome must have been
fifty  thousand  feet high  and miles and miles  across.  Such  an  enormity
dazzled  me. I  had a sensation  of  vertigo  and  plummeted into a state of
disintegration.
     Once more I rebounded from it and found myself on a very uneven and yet
flat surface. It was a shiny, interminable surface just like the plain I had
seen  before. It  went as far as  I could see. I soon realized  that I could
turn my  head  in any direction I wanted on  a horizontal plane, but I could
not look at myself. I  was  able, however, to examine  the  surroundings  by
rotating my  head from left to  right and vice  versa.  Nevertheless, when I
wanted to turn around to look behind me, I could not move my bulk.
     The plain extended  itself monotonously,  equally to my left and  to my
right.  There  was nothing  else in  sight but an endless, whitish  glare. I
wanted to look  at the ground underneath my feet but my eyes could not  move
down. I lifted  my  head up  to  look  at  the sky;  all I  saw  was another
limitless, whitish  surface  that seemed  to be connected to the one  I  was
standing on. I then had a moment of apprehension and felt that something was
just  about  to be revealed to me. But  the sudden  and devastating  jolt of
disintegration  stopped my revelation. Some force pulled me downward. It was
as if the whitish surface had swallowed me.
     Nestor  said  that my  vision  of  a  dome was of tremendous importance
because that  particular shape had been isolated by the Nagual and Genaro as
the vision of the place where all of us were supposed to meet them someday.
     Benigno spoke to  me at  that  point  and said that he had heard Eligio
being instructed to find that particular dome.  He  said that the Nagual and
Genaro insisted that  Eligio understand their  point correctly. They  always
had believed Eligio  to be the  best; therefore, they  directed him  to find
that dome and to enter its whitish vaults over and over again.
     Pablito said that all  three of them  were instructed to find that dome
if they  could, but that none of them had. I  said  then, in  a  complaining
tone, that neither  don Juan nor don Genaro had ever mentioned anything like
that to me. I had had no instruction of any sort regarding a dome.
     Benigno, who was sitting across the  table  from  me, suddenly stood up
and came to my side. He sat to my left and whispered very  softly in  my ear
that  perhaps the two old  men had instructed  me but I did not remember, or
that they had not said anything about it so  I would not fix my attention on
it once I had found it.
     "Why was the dome so important?" I asked Nestor.
     "Because that's where the Nagual and Genaro are now," he replied.
     "And where's that dome?" I asked.
     "Somewhere on this earth," he said.
     I had to explain to them at great length that it was impossible that  a
structure of that magnitude could exist on our planet. I said that my vision
was  more  like a  dream and  domes of  that  height  could  exist  only  in
fantasies.  They  laughed  and patted  me gently as  if they were humoring a
child.
     "You want to know where Eligio is," Nestor said all of a sudden. "Well,
he is in the white vaults of that dome with the Nagual and Genaro."
     "But that dome was a vision," I protested.
     "Then Eligio is in a vision,"  Nestor said. "Remember what Benigno just
said to you. The Nagual and  Genaro didn't tell you to find that dome and go
back to it over and  over. If  they had, you wouldn't be here. You'd be like
Eligio, in the dome of  that vision. So you see, Eligio  did  not die like a
man in the street dies. He simply did not return from his jump."
     His claim was staggering to me.  I could  not brush aside the memory of
the vividness of the visions I had had, but for some strange reason I wanted
to argue with him. Nestor, without giving me time to say anything, drove his
point a notch  further. He reminded me of one of my visions: the next to the
last.  That particular one had been the most nightmarish  of them all. I had
found myself being chased  by a strange, unseen creature. I knew that it was
there but I could not see it, not because it  was  invisible but because the
world  I was in was  so  incredibly  unfamiliar that I  could  not tell what
anything was. Whatever the elements  of my vision were, they were  certainly
not from this earth. The emotional distress I experienced upon being lost in
such a place was almost more than I could bear.  At one moment,  the surface
where I stood began to shake. I felt that it was caving in under my feet and
I grabbed a sort of branch, or an appendage of a thing that reminded me of a
tree, which  was hanging  just  above  my head on  a  horizontal  plane. The
instant I  touched it, the  thing wrapped  around my wrist, as  if had  been
filled with nerves  that sensed everything.  I felt that I was being hoisted
to  a tremendous height. I looked down and saw an  incredible animal; I knew
it was the unseen creature that had been chasing me. It was  coming out of a
surface that  looked like the ground. I  could  see its enormous  mouth open
like a cavern. I heard a chilling, thoroughly unearthly roar, something like
a shrill, metallic gasp, and the tentacle that had me caught unraveled and I
fell  into that cavernous mouth,  I saw every detail of  that mouth as I was
falling  into it. Then  it  closed  with me inside. I  felt an instantaneous
pressure that mashed my body.
     "You have already  died,"  Nestor  said.  "That  animal  ate  you.  You
ventured beyond this world  and found horror itself.  Our life and our death
are no  more  and no less real than your short  life  in that place and your
death in the mouth of that monster. This life that we are having now is only
a long vision. Don't you see?"
     Nervous spasms ran through my body.
     "I didn't go beyond  this  world,"  he went  on, "but  I  know what I'm
talking about. I don't have tales of horror like you. All I did was to visit
Porfirio ten times. If it had  been up to me I would've  gone there forever,
but my eleventh bounce was so  powerful that it changed my direction. I felt
that I had overshot Porfirio's  hut,  and  instead of  finding myself at his
door, I found myself in the city,  very close  to the  place of a  friend of
mine. I thought it was funny. I knew that I was journeying between the tonal
and the nagual.  Nobody had said  to me that the  journeys  had to be of any
special  kind. So I got  curious and decided to  see  my friend. I began  to
wonder if I really would get to see him.  I came to his house and knocked on
the  door just as I had  knocked scores  of times. His wife let me in as she
had  always done and sure enough my friend was  home.  I told him that I had
come to the  city on  business and he  even paid me some money he owed me. I
put the money  in  my pocket. I  knew that my friend, and his wife, and  the
money, and his  house, and the city were just like Porfirio's hut, a vision.
I knew that a force beyond me was going  to disintegrate me any moment. So I
sat down to enjoy my friend to the fullest. We laughed and joked. And I dare
say that I was funny and light and charming. I stayed there for a long time,
waiting  for  the jolt;  since it  didn't  come I  decided to leave.  I said
good-bye and thanked him  for the money and for  his  friendship.  I  walked
away. I  wanted  to  see the city before the force  took me away. I wandered
around all night.  I walked all the way to  the  hills overlooking the city,
and at the moment the sun rose a realization struck me like a thunderbolt. I
was back in  the world and the  force  that will disintegrate me was at ease
and was going to let me stay for a while. I was going to see my homeland and
this marvelous earth  for a while longer. What  a great joy. Maestro!  But I
couldn't say that I had  not enjoyed Porfirio's friendship. Both visions are
equal, but  I prefer the  vision of my form and  my earth. It's my indulging
perhaps."
     Nestor stopped talking and all of them stared at me. I felt  threatened
as I had never been before. Some part  of me was in awe of what he had said,
another  wanted to  fight with him.  I began to  argue with  him without any
sense. My inane  mood  lasted for a few moments, then I  became  aware  that
Benigno was looking at me with a very mean expression. He had fixed his eyes
on  my  chest.  I felt  that something ominous  was suddenly  pressing on my
heart. I began to perspire as if a heater were right in front of my face. My
ears began to buzz.
     La  Gorda  walked up  to  me  at that  precise  moment.  She was a most
unexpected  sight.  I  was  sure  that the  Genaros  felt the same way. They
stopped what they were  doing and looked  at her. Pablito  was the first  to
recover from his surprise.
     "Why do you  have  to come in like that?" he asked  in a pleading tone.
"You were listening from the other room, weren't you?"
     She said that she had been in the house only a few minutes and then she
stepped out to the kitchen. And the  reason she stayed quiet was not so much
to listen but to exercise her ability to  be inconspicuous. Her presence had
created  a strange lull.  I  wanted  to  pick up again the flow of  Nestor's
revelations, but before I  could say anything  la Gorda said that the little
sisters were  on their way to the house and would be coming through the door
any  minute. The Genaros stood up at once as if they had been pulled by  the
same string. Pablito put his chair on his shoulder.
     "Let's go for a hike in the dark. Maestro," Pablito said to me.
     La Gorda said  in a most imperative tone that I could not  go with them
yet  because  she  had not finished telling  me  everything the  Nagual  had
instructed her to tell me.
     Pablito turned to me and winked.
     "I've told you," he  said. "They're  bossy, gloomy bitches. I certainly
hope you're not like that. Maestro."
     Nestor and Benigno said good night and embraced me. Pablito just walked
away carrying his chair like a backpack. They went out through the back.
     A few  seconds later a horribly loud bang on  the  front  door made  la
Gorda and me jump to our feet. Pablito walked in again, carrying his chair.
     "You thought I wasn't going to say good night, didn't you?" he asked me
and left laughing.


        5
     The Art of Dreaming

     The next day I was by  myself all morning. I worked on my notes, in the
afternoon I  used my car to help la  Gorda and  the little sisters transport
the furniture from dona Soledad's house to their house.
     In the  early  evening la Gorda and I  sat in the dining area alone. We
were silent for a while. I was very tired.
     La  Gorda  broke  the silence  and said  that all of them had  been too
complacent  since  the  Nagual  and Genaro had left. Each of them  had  been
absorbed  in  his  or  her particular tasks.  She said that  the  Nagual had
commanded her to be an impassionate warrior and to  follow whatever path her
fate selected for her. If Soledad had stolen my  power, la Gorda had to flee
and try to  save the  little sisters and then  join Benigno and Nestor,  the
only  two Genaros who would have  survived. If the little sisters had killed
me, she had to join the Genaros because the little sisters would have had no
more need to be with her. If I had not survived the attack of the allies and
she did, she had to leave that area  and be on her  own. She told me, with a
glint  in her eye,  that  she had  been  sure that neither one  of us  would
survive, and that that was why  she had said goodbye to  her sisters, to her
house and to the hills.
     "The  Nagual told me  that in case you and I survived the allies,"  she
went on, "I have to do  anything for you, because that would be my warrior's
path.  That  was why I interfered with what  Benigno was doing  to  you last
night.  He was pressing on your chest with  his eyes. That is  his  art as a
stalker. You saw Pablito's hand earlier yesterday; that was also part of the
same art."
     "What art is that, Gorda?"
     "The art of  the stalker.  That  was  the Nagual's predilection and the
Genaros are his true children at  that. We, on the other hand, are dreamers.
Your double is dreaming."
     What she was  saying  was  new to me. I  wanted  her  to  elucidate her
statements. I paused  for a moment to read what  I had written in  order  to
select the most appropriate question. I told her that I first wanted to find
out what she knew about my double and then I wanted to know about the art of
stalking.
     "The Nagual told  me that your double is something that takes a  lot of
power to come out," she said.  "He figured that you might have enough energy
to  get it  out  of you twice. That's why  he set up Soledad and the  little
sisters either to kill you or to help you."
     La Gorda said that I had had  more energy than  the Nagual thought, and
that my double came out three times. Apparently Rosa's attack had not been a
thoughtless  action; on  the contrary, she had very cleverly calculated that
if she injured me, I  would  have been helpless: the same ploy dona  Soledad
had tried with her dog. I had given Rosa a chance to strike me when I yelled
at her, but she  failed  to  injure me. My double came  out  and injured her
instead.  La  Gorda said that Lidia  had told her that Rosa did not want  to
wake up when all of us had to rush out of Soledad's house, so Lidia squeezed
the  hand that  had been injured. Rosa did not feel any pain and  knew in an
instant  that I  had cured her,  which meant  to  them that I had drained my
power.  La Gorda affirmed that the little sisters were very clever  and  had
planned to drain me of power; to that effect they had kept on insisting that
I  cure Soledad.  As  soon as  Rosa realized that I  had also cured her, she
thought that I had weakened myself beyond repair. All they had  to do was to
wait for Josefina in order to finish me off.
     "The  little  sisters  didn't know that when you cured Rosa and Soledad
you also replenished yourself," la Gorda said,  and laughed as  if it were a
joke. "That was  why you had enough energy to  get your  double  out a third
time when the little sisters tried to take your luminosity."
     I  told her about the vision I had  had of dona Soledad huddled against
the wall of her room, and how I had merged that vision with my tactile sense
and ended up feeling a viscous substance on her forehead.
     "That  was  true seeing," la Gorda said. "You saw Soledad in  her  room
although she was with me around Genaro's place, and then you saw your nagual
on her forehead."
     I  felt compelled  at that  point to recount to her the details  of  my
whole  experience, especially the  realization I had had that I was actually
curing dona Soledad and Rosa by touching the viscous substance, which I felt
was part of me.
     "To see that thing on Rosa's hand was also true seeing," she said. "And
you were  absolutely right, that substance was yourself. It came out of your
body and it was your nagual. By touching it, you pulled it back."
     La Gorda told me then, as though she were unveiling a mystery, that the
Nagual had commanded her not to disclose the fact  that since  all of us had
the same  luminosity,  if my nagual  touched one of them,  I  would not  get
weakened, as  would ordinarily be  the case if my nagual touched an  average
man.
     "If your  nagual touches us,"  she said, giving me a gentle slap on the
head, "your luminosity stays on the  surface. You can pick it  up again  and
nothing is lost."
     I told her that the content of her explanation was impossible for me to
believe.  She shrugged her shoulders  as if saying that that was not any  of
her concern.  I asked her then about her usage of