© Copyright 1996-1999 Vyachslav Mironov
© Copyright 2001 translation by Alex Dokin (firstname.lastname@example.org)
© Copyright 2001 translation by Konstantin S. Leskov
© Copyright 2001 translation by Marta Malinovskaya
© Copyright 2001 translation by Oleg Petrov (email@example.com)
Date: Feb-Mar 2001
Перевод романа В.Н.Миронова "Я был на этой войне" (Грозный-1995)
Translation includes 1,2,3,4,5,7,8,9,18 parts of novel.
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© Copyright 2001 translation by Alex Dokin (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Date: 7 Mar 2001
Date: 9 Mar 2001
Date: 26 May 2001 Corrected version
Date: 4 Oct 2001
I'm running. The lungs are bursting. The damned wheeze is a murder.
Have to run a zigzag path (in our brigade we call it "run a screw").
God, help... Please help. Help keep this insane tempo. That's it, if I
ever get out of here - quit smoking. Zapp... Zapp... Sniper!!??... Get down
and crawl, crawl out of the killing zone.
Lying. All seems OK - no sniper, probably just "shul'nyak".
Alright, now catch your breath, find your way around and race ahead -
to the Central Post of our brigade's the first battalion. Just a few hours
ago they reported on catching a sniper. From the report we knew he was
Russian and, from his own words, even from Novosibirsk. F..ing compatriot.
On two APCs, along with the recon squad I set off to pick up "the clapper".
En route to the Central Train Station, the streets are crammed with
burnt and mangled hulks of "armour" and strewn with dead bodies. The bodies
of our Slavic brothers, all that's left of the Mikop Brigade, the one that
"spooks" burnt and wiped out on the New Year's Eve 95-96. God, help me...
let me out of here... They said, when the First Battalion busted the
"demons" out of the Station building, as the gunfire slacked off, one of the
grunts, having looked around, howled. From then on other grunts stayed away
from him - another crank. Now charging through the walls like spellbound,
scared of nothing. And there are enough screwballs like that in every unit,
the enemy and ours. Eh, Mother Russia, what've you done to your sons? We
thought, maybe medivac the fellow, but then again, can't even medivac the
casualties, and this one, though a crank, still fighting. Up there on "The
Continent" he'd definitely go nuts.
Literally in a few blocks we came under ferocious gunfire. The spooks
were spraying from above, madly (about 20 guns) but disorganised. With a
couple of grunts now had to leave our APCs behind and sneak our way over to
the headquarters. At least the dogfaces are more confident now, more or less
used to this, all were tested by fire. In the beginning I howled a wolf,
just like that mad grunt. The men were all "green", some rushing forward,
others still fear struck in their "armour". I had to boot and kick them out
of their APCs and foxholes. As for myself, I'm OK. Baku, Kutaisi - 90,
Tshinvali -91, Moldova - 92 and now Chechnya. Alright, just let us get the
hell out of here. But only in one piece. If crippled, I've got a little toy
in my pocket - RGD-15. Surely enough for me. I've seen enough of our
crippled post-war heroes living in peace life. They too were following
orders of their Motherland, their Party, their Government and hell knows
whom else. "Reinstating Constitutional Order" on the territory of the former
Soviet Union. And now again, we are beating our own Russian land on
somebody's hugger-mugger order...
All this sped through my mind in a few seconds. Turned around - all my
grunts are fine, prone on the ground, watching. Their faces are all black
from gunpowder, eyeballs and teeth are shining. I'm probably no better. Nod
to one, point direction to another and we are all off sprinting forward,
zigzag, "screw" and roll. Although, these coats were surely not made for
rolling. The sweat is blanketing my eyes, fatigues are steamy; the taste of
blood in my mouth is unbearable and temples are pounding heavily. Blood is
jammed with adrenaline. Short streaks forward, bits of bricks, chips of
concrete and broken glass everywhere. Carefully avoiding open spaces. Still
alive, thank God.
Zapp... zapp... again! Damn it, could it really be a sniper? Ducking
into the nearest basement, grenades on stand-by. Who or what is waiting for
us in there? Pair of corpses. Fatigues seem like ours - Slavic. Nod to one
of the grunts to secure the window, and then myself move to the doorframe.
The second grunt kneels near one of the bodies, unbuttons his coat and flank
jacket and fetches his papers and the dog tags. Same with the second corpse.
The boys wouldn't mind anymore but their families must be notified.
Otherwise smart asses in the Government won't pay them their pensions,
reasoning that soldiers are missing in action and who knows, maybe even
crossed over to the other side.
- Got the papers? - I asked.
- Got'em - answered private Semeonov, nicknamed "Semeon". - What's now?
- Now, via this basement we run across to the neighbouring street, then
to the first batt (battalion). Do we have radio contact with them? - I'm
asking my RTO (Radiotelephone operator), private Harlamov. His nickname is
"Glue". His arms are long, sticking out of his BDU, like sticks, no one size
fits. Wrists are disproportionately huge. First time you see the guy the
impression is like torn gorilla arms were sewn to a man's body. Now probably
no one could recall where his nickname "Glue" originated.
Our soldiers are Siberians and all together we are "mahra" (Russian
word for cheap tobacco). In the WWII books and movies, infantry is called
"The Queen of the battle field ". In real life, however, we are just
"mahra". And one individual infantryman is a "mahor". That's life.
- Get on the APCs too, - that's me about the left behind at the Railway
Station APCs, - ask how they're hanging.
Glue moves away from the window and a starts muttering into his
handset, calling onto the 1st Battalion's Road Post and our APCs.
- All OK, comrade Capitan, - says RTO. - "Sopka" is waiting for us,
"boxes" were fired upon and rolled back a block.
- Fine, let's go, or we'll frost down here, - I make terrible hoarse
sounds coughing. At last my normal breathing came back. I spat with green
and yellow slime - consequence of my many years of smoking. - Eh, mama told
me: "learn English"
- My mama told me: "Do NOT crawl into wells, sonny". - Picked up
No sign of the enemy in the window at the other side of the house and
we leapfrog, taking short streaks, stooped four times our normal hight,
towards the Central Train Station. High above in the sky, a jet fighter is
barraging the city with high explosives and shooting at somebody's positions
from an unreachable hight. Down here, there is no single front line.
Gunfights are starting everywhere sporadically and sometimes turn into some
kind of cheesecake: ragheads, us, ragheads again and so on (US Marines call
it a "cluster fuck"). All of it, in one word could be called a madhouse,
almost no interaction anywhere. Especially difficult to work with are the
Internal Forces. To be precise: all THIS is their operation, but we, mahra,
are doing their job for them. Often we storm the same objects in complete
ignorance of each other's presence. Sometimes we even point the Air Force
guys onto them and they onto us. In the dark we fire on each other and take
our own grunts prisoners.
Now we are going to the Central Train Station, where, in almost full
complement, was wiped out the Mikop Brigade. Vanished into the night.
Nothing was done before they were sent in. No reconnaissance to ascertain
the spooks' defensive structures, no artillery runs to soften them up. When
after the battle they began to fall asleep (imagine no sleep for a week,
adrenaline and Vodka for breakfast, lunch and dinner), spooks slunk up and
wasted them from a point blank range. Just the mistake Chapaev made: no
guards along perimeter. Here, though, all guards were soundly asleep or
spooks gashed them quietly. Everything was on fire, all that could burn and
even all that couldn't. It seemed like the Earth, asphalt and house walls
were ablaze from the burning fuel. People panicked in the inferno, some
tried to return fire, some helping the wounded. Some even shot themselves
not to get into the ragheads' hands. Few were trying to flee. No one of them
must be judged. What would you, my reader, do in that hell on earth? Don't
know? Ha? That's it. Then don't you dare judging them!
No one knows what exactly happened there. Their commander, with both
his legs injured; still tried to reassert control, although he could retreat
to the rear. He stayed though. God, guard their souls and our lives...
When our brigade fought its way through heavy rebel defences to help
them, our tanks had to struggle through barricades of corpses of our Slavic
brothers... When you see how tracks chop and hummer human flesh, how heavy
leading wheels coil intestines of people just like yourself... When heads
pop open with a crunch under a steel caterpillar and all around it is
sprayed with a grey and red mass of brain. Brain of a maybe unaccomplished
genius, poet, scientist or just good lad, father, brother, son, friend who
didn't chicken out and came here in this shithole of a place called Chechnya
and, may be, to his last moment, didn't even realised what the hell happened
to him. When your boots slip on the bloody mucus, then the important thing
is to think of nothing, and concentrate on only one objective: survive,
survive and save your men. Because those you'd lose will come to you in your
As their CO you'd then have to write up their Death Notifications and
body ID reports. The job I don't even wish to my worst enemy. I'd rather
choke in an attack, blasting from my beloved AKS left, right and forward
with my eyes popping out, rather than write those horrible papers. Why all
these wars? Although, honestly, no one of us has really understood what has
transpired here. At all times only one goal in mind - survive, complete the
task and save your men. And what if you don't? They'll send more in, who,
maybe, because of your inexperience, cowardice and desire to go home, will
drop under machinegun fire and will be ripped to pieces by grenades, mines,
mortar or be captured. All THIS: because of YOU. The very thought of this
responsibility makes my stomach rumble. How about you, my reader?
Glue noticed some movement in a window of the five-story building, next
to the Station Plaza. He yelled out: "Spooks!!!" and leaped back. Semeon and
myself too hastened to take cover behind the nearest heap of rubble. From
behind his corner, Glue opened up at the window from his AK. Shivering, we
too began to load up grenades in launchers.
Eh, what a wonderful device, this launcher (Russian GP-25, under-barrel
grenade launcher for AK assault rifles, similar to M203 - grenade-launching
tube sometimes mounted under the rifle barrel of an M-16). We call it
lovingly: "podstvol'nichek", although, weight of the device could prove a
bit too much (about half a kilo). It is mounted under the rifle's barrel and
can be fired straight into the target or launch in an overhead trajectory.
It could be described as a tube (about 2.5 inches in diameter) with a
trigger and a safety pin. There is also an aiming mechanism, but since the
first days we conned it so that now easily can do without it. From a
standard issue GP-25, a grenade can easily be dropped into the smallest
window or thrown over any structure. In a straight line it delivers its
mighty punch to about 400 meters, its shrapnel (after the explosion) cover
an area of about 14 meters. A fairytale of firearms. It saved countless
lives in Grosny. How would you bust sharpshooters from upper floors in a
quick gunfight in town? There is no other way but the GP-25, believe me. You
could call for an air strike or long range artillery and then pull out or
try to contact your own "armour", which, by the way, can be easily burnt by
RPGs... On the other hand, there is an every soldier's personal launcher
that he can use to bust the ragheads by himself. The device also possesses
one other undisputed advantage: its grenades explode on impact. Imagine a
gunfight inside a block of units when a raghead is above you on the third
floor. Next, you throw a standard issue grenade with a time-delay of about 5
seconds. Now, count: fetch the safety pin and throw, then the bitch hits
something on the way up and falls right back into your lap. Only later on in
January they shipped us these mountainous grenades, or as we call them
"afghan" grenades. These babies only explode when they hit something hard.
Before then, some local "Kulibin" (famous Russian inventor of the 19th
century) guessed to slam the grenade up his heel, thus arming it, and throw
the darling as far as he could away from his persona. And, ramming an
obstacle, it burst with shrapnel, obliterating every living thing around it.
Now Semeon and I were blasting off our grenades into the window where
Glue spotted motion. Semeon hit the target from his first attempt; I made it
with my second. The first one slammed into the wall and burst, tearing off a
decently sized piece of masonry and making a huge cloud of dust.
Putting to work the results of our little skirmish, all three of us,
glinting at the dreaded house, quickly cleared the open space, then,
sprinting and sneaking, a few blocks later, at last made it to the HQ.
The silly bastards imagined we were ragheads and nearly shot us.
They escorted us to the outpost where we found our Com-batt (Battalion
Tough chap is our Com-batt. Physically not so much a big man, but as a
commander and a person: giant. I won't hide the fact that our brigade is
blessed with battalion commanders. It'd take a while to describe each one of
them, so I'll pass on that, but to say the least - all are real men. Who
once went to war, would know what I mean.
1[[st]] battalion's HQ was situated in the
Railway Station's basement. As we walked in, the Com-batt was boldly cursing
somebody on the field radio.
- F...ing hell, where are you charging, moron? You schmuck, they are
luring you out there. And you are buying it with your dogfaces. Clean up the
area around you! To the last "spook"!!! - Com-batt was yelling into the
handset. - Pull the "boxes" out of there, let the grunts work! Yourself,
stay on the BP and don't stick your head out there.
He hung up and saw me.
- Hey man, - he smiled.
- God bless, - I said shaking his hand.
- What's new in the Group's HQ? Let's go eat, - he offered, looking at
me merrily. At war, seeing a familiar face before you is always a delight.
That means that luck not only follows you but also your comrades.
Still in the heat of the past clash, I knew that if I don't have a
drink now, I'd soon be shaking with a nervous, drumbeat-like fever or turn
hysterical and just keep gabbling ... So I accepted the man's offer with
Setting himself on a box from artillery rounds, Com-batt softly called:
"Ivan, we've got guests, come on eat". Then from a neighbouring basement
appeared the 1[[st]] Battalion's chief of staff
captain Ilin. Skinny fellow, the biggest volleyball aficionado in our
brigade, although, at his job, pedant and perfectionist. In peace life
always tight, in perfectly ironed and shiny uniform, now he looked barely
any different than any other man around us. Same gunpowder- parched face,
unshaven and in need of sleep.
- Hey, Slava, - he said and his eyes glinted a little. We were almost
of the same age, only I was a senior officer in the Brigade's HQ and he was
a chief of staff in the battalion. Both captains. We had a history of
friendship, so did our wives and kids.
I couldn't conceal my emotions and went straight for a hug. Slowly my
nerves were giving in and I was turning a bit hysterical after our little
I wasn't worried for my grunts. They were all here, amongst their own,
thus will be worm and fed in no time.
- You've come for the sniper, Slava? - Asked Com-batt.
- Sure, who else, - I replied. - How did you manage to grab that son of
- He just wouldn't let us breath for three days, - Ivan turned grim. -
He made up a nest by the Station and plinked at us over the plaza. Knocked
down three grunts and shot our first company leader through his leg. We were
unable to medivac the wounded and had to fetch the medics over here to
operate on them.
- And how is he, - I asked. That story about the medics I've already
heard: fine job. But the company leader: would he live and walk again?
- Yeah, yeah, sure, - Com-batt confirmed merrily, - I let him rest for
now, only the problem is we're short on company leaders, you know it too
well yourself. So we have to use the two-year-termers ("civilian officers",
college graduates on the obligatory military duty, in officers ranks by
default). But this lad is rather snappy. A bit of a hotshot though: like
Chapaev on his horse, rushes to free all Chechnya by himself.
- What did the sniper have on him? - I asked. - Maybe, he wasn't even a
sniper after all. You know, could've been some daunted local, a great deal
of them bumming around town these days.
Com-batt and the CoS almost seemed upset. Ivan leapt to his feet, raced
to his niche and fetched a soviet SKS rifle. Only the scope was foreign, I
noticed that instantly, - I've seen those before. Most probably Japanese:
Pal Palych - com-batt - while Ivan and myself were inspecting the
carbine, was telling that the detained shooter had two boxfuls of rounds in
his pockets and in his nest they found a case of beer and two packs of
cigarettes. While recounting this, Palych was setting up the table: carving
bread, opening stewed meat cans, condensed milk containers, salads (God
knows where those came from), pickles and marinated tomatoes. And at last,
positioned a bottle of Vodka on this improvised table.
By then I counted all slashes on the carbine's butt: equalled
thirty-three. Thirty-three chopped lives. The way the snipers worked here we
all knew first hand. They met us while we were coming into town, at night,
by early WWII maps. Though we raced, crushing our heads against the walls
inside our APCs, ragging our teeth from the mad ride and damning everyone
and everything, snipers managed to shoot off dangling antennas from the
passing armoured vehicles, at night and in clouds of dust. Without intercom
they'd stop and officers sent men to check out what the hell happened, this
very moment snipers picked them out. They also had another slick idea: they
didn't always finish off their "game", but rather wounded him, shooting him
through his legs, so that he wouldn't crawl out of the killing zone and then
held back. The downed men cried out and snipers picked the speeding helpers,
just like the duck silhouettes at a shooting gallery. By now, our brigade
has lost about thirty men to this kind of sniper fire, thus adding to our
special account to be "invoiced" to "spooks" some day. Amazing that the
grunts brought this cocksucker alive.
A few days ago, grunts from the second battalion discovered a nest, by
all clues - female. All was like always: a sofa or a chair, soft drinks, a
doll and a rifle, hidden close by. The grunts spent all day stalking her
concealed, completely motionless. No piss, no shit, no smoke. Finally they
succeeded. What happened next - no one knows, but the Chechen woman took a
flight off the roof of a nine-storey building, but half way down her body
burst from a grenade explosion. Afterwards, the grunts solemnly swore that
the woman sensed the stench of their unwashed bodies and sprinted for the
roof, and from up there, dived by herself. Everyone, of coarse, showed
compassion, but still regretted that themselves couldn't help her flight.
Nobody believed, however, that for her last dive with grenade she went by
herself. Chechens never committed suicide - that is in OUR character - fear
of captivity, dishonour and torture. After this memorable event, their
com-batt declared a phrase, which was then to become our brigade's motto:
"Siberians do not surrender, and do not take prisoners".
By now Com-batt poured out Vodka and Ivan and myself settled down too.
If anybody tells you that we fought here intoxicated, - spit him in his
face. At war, people drink for disinfection. Not often you can boil your
water or wash your hands properly. Our corpsmen's motto is: "Red eyes never
go yellow". As for the drinking water, we had to get it from the Sunzha
River - a tiny river that flows thought the whole of Chechnya and, of
coarse, through the Grozny. Only no one could possible tell how many human
and animal corpses drifted in there, which meant we could forget about the
proper hygiene. I'm telling you, at war, nobody would drink to get shitfaced
- that would mean certain death. Your comrades, too, would never let you do
that kind of stuff - with firearms, who knows what's on the drunk's mind?
We lifted up our plastic glasses - lots of these we chunked at the
"North" airport - and struck them together. There was no ding, just rustle,
"so that our zampolit wouldn't hear", officers jested.
- Here is to good luck, men, - Com-batt enounced, and, having exhaled
all air from his lungs, "capsized" half a glass.
- To her, the damned, - I picked up and tipped my glass. The heat
flooded my throat, worm wave swamped my guts and halted somewhere inside the
stomach. My body suddenly relaxed. Then all of us attacked the food: who
knows when the next opportunity like this would present itself. Bread,
stewed meat, pickles, tomatoes. All vanished in our stomachs. Now, Ivan
poured out Vodka; we toped, with the usual silent rustle. Lit up some
smokes. I almost pulled out mine, from home, "TU-134", but noted Ivan's and
Com-batt's Marlboro and tossed mine back.
- Sniper's? - I inquired, reaching for one.
- Yep, - Replied Com-batt.
- How is the Second Battalion hanging? - Ivan asked, taking a deep
- Storming the hotel "Kavkaz", now we're throwing the Third Batt in to
help them and some tanks too. Ragheads are deeply entrenched there and
holding it so far. Ul'yanovtsy and marines are attempting the assault on the
Minutka Square and Dudaev's Palace. But having no luck there as yet, just
- All of which means that we'll be sent in to help them soon - Com-batt
broke in our conversation. - It's not as simple as a slugfest in a corner
bar; some thinking must be done beforehand. To save the men and complete the
task... I could never grasp the concept of the airborne troops: how is it so
that they, absolutely sober and voluntarily, would jump off of a perfectly
good aircraft, ha? - Palych made a joke.
- And I never understood the rangers, - picked up Ivan, - for four
years in college, they learnt how to use binoculars and tail behind a K-9...
I'm sensing with my heart: we'll be crunching on asphalt down there at that
In my mind I've already made a conscious decision: the captured sniper
wouldn't make it to my HQ. He'll die on the way back, attempting an escape.
He's already told everything he knew.
In movies, agents, working with "a clapper", try to formulate the
necessity to give up the information he possesses as well as break his
ideology. Real life, however, is much simpler. Everything depends on your
imagination, rancour and time on hands. If time permits and there is a
matching desire, we can try to scrape enamel from his teeth, with a rasping
file. Or we can use our field phone. A brown box with a side-handle. Connect
your interlocutor to it with two stripped wires and spin the handle, having
asked him a few questions beforehand. But all this is fine if you're housed
comfortably and he's to stand trial afterwards. This kind of questioning
will leave no marks. Of coarse it's best to soak him in water first. As far
as the screaming is concerned, for that you fire up a heavy armoured truck
near by. But, again, all this is for aesthetes.
In the trenches it becomes even simpler. You shoot the fingers off his
feet, one by one, with your assault rifle. There is no one human being who
could take that. He'll tell you everything he knew and everything he ever
remembered. Feeling a little seek, ha? During which time, you, my reader,
celebrated New Years Eve, visited your friends, skied shitfaced from a
hilltop with your kids. You didn't come out on the Red Square demanding to
pull our soldiers out of that shithole. Neither were you collecting worm
cloths or money for those Russians who fled Chechnya. Cold soldiers in their
frozen bunkers never got so much as a cigarette from you. Therefore, do not
look away. Listen to this truth of war.
- OK, let's get the third one over with and we'll go take a look at
your shooter, - I said pouring out the remains of Vodka.
We stood silently for a few seconds, and toped without cheers. Third
glass - is the most important in the military. Civilians drink it "to love",
students: to something else, but soldiers always drink it "to the fallen",
always standing up and in silence. Every one sees before him those he has
lost. It is a chilling toast. Although, on the other hand, you know for
sure, that if you perish, regardless of how many years would pass, some
green lieutenant, in a God forsaken garrison in the Far East, or a stale
colonel in the most prestigious headquarters, will stand up and drink their
third glass to You.
We toped; I cast another piece of stew in my mouth, a few bits of
garlic and "the officers lemon" - onion. There are no vitamins at war,
although your body constantly demands them. That's why we refer to onion as
"our lemon". At war onion is a commonplace. The stench around is horrible
though, but we've no women here, so we've grown used to it by now and
wouldn't even notice anymore. Moreover, it fights the sickening odour of
decomposing human flesh that otherwise turns your stomach inside out. I've
chased the alcohol with refection, sipped condensed milk right out of its
container, fished a smoke out of the Com-bat's packet and started for the
exit. Com-bat and Ivan followed me.
In about 30 yards from the basement's entrance, grunts encircled a tank
and were having a loud discourse. I also noted that the tank's gun is
unnaturally cocked upwards. As we walked closer to the scene, we also saw
that a stretched rope was hanging from the barrel.
The grunts saw us coming and gave way. The view that opened up in front
of us was picturesque but terrible. At the end of that rope a man was
hanging. His face was swollen from beatings, his eyes half shut, his tongue
hanging out and his hands tied up behind him. Although, by now
I've seen lots of stiffs, still, can't get used to them.
Com-batt started yelling at the grunts:
- Who did this?! You sons of bitches! - I'll leave out the rest of the
names he called them. Ask any line officer, who served in the Army for 10
years or more, to swear a little and you'll greatly increase your vocabulary
with all sorts of idiomatic expressions.
Com-batt kept going at them, trying hard to beat the truth out of them,
although I somehow knew, looking at his sly face, that he's not mad at them
at all. He might've felt a bit regretful that he didn't send the bastard on
his last journey, but mostly my presence, the HQ officer, drove him to this
theatrical performance. All of us: the grunts and myself read it well. We
also realise that no one commander would ever report anything of this kind.
All this breezed through my mind while I was sucking on my cigarette. It's
funny, but these cigarette belonged to this hangman, whose limbs are now
dangling before my eyes, then to the Com-bat and now, I am smoking it while
observing this spectacle.
Tired of the circus, I asked surrounding us grunts, amongst which I
picked Semeon and Glue:
- What did he say, before he died?
Out of the clear blue sky the grunts exploded. They told, interrupting
one another, that the son of a bitch (the most delicate epithet they chose
for him) squalled that he regretted he only managed to nock off only
thirty-two of "your kind" (as he put it).
In their recount the grunts especially emphasized the words "you kind".
I gathered they were telling the truth and if he hadn't said this memorable
phrase, he might've lived a little longer.
All of a sudden, one of the grunts announced, invigorating everyone:
- He throttled himself, comrade Captain.
- With his hands trussed, he tied the rope around his neck and leaped
off the "armour", all by himself. Right? - I choked laughing.
Then I turned to the Com-batt:
- Alright, take your hangman down. Let's write in the report that he
couldn't take the torture of his guilty conscience anymore and thus ended
his life strangling himself. - I spewed the cigarette's butt and pressed it
into the mud. - His rifle, however, I'll take with me.
- Nickolaich, please, - First time the Com-batt called me by my full
name, - leave the rifle: every time I look at it, my body bends.
I glanced into his praying eyes and knew: it would be of no use to try
taking carbine away from him.
- OK, you owe me one, and you, - I turned to Ivan, - bear witness.
- Many thanks, Nikolaich, - Palych was violently shaking my hand.
- Because of this moron I had to drag my ass all the way down here,
under fire. And now I have to hoof back.
- Take him with you, if you like. Tell them he was shot during an
ambush or something, - Ivan tried to make a joke.
- Go to hell, - I jested back. - Why don't you try and drag this stiff
back. And if you ever have a misfortune taking a prisoner, drag him to the
HQ yourselves or waste him down here please. Another thing: get something
nice for the grunts that grabbed him, will you? That's it. We're off. Give
us some escort for a few blocks, OK?
We shook hands and Com-batt, sniffing, pulled out a brand new Marlboro
packet from his inner pocket. I thanked him and sent for my grunts:
- Semeon, Glue, let's go.
They came up, fixing their rifles.
- Ready? Did they feed you?
- Yep. And a few drinks along with it, - said Semeon. - Also restocked
on ammo and grenades for launchers.
- Cheers men, let's run. We have to get to the HQ before the nightfall,
- I muttered, buttoning my coat and attaching new magazine to my rifle.
I made a "royal mag" by binding two 45-round RPK machinegun clips
head-to-toe with an electric tape. This gave me 90 rounds always at the
ready. It's a pity though, the calibre is 5.45, not 7.62, like before. The
5.45 bullet has some ricochet and once fired is all over the place. The 7.62
round, on the other hand, goes straight as. There is a legend - during the
Vietnam War, American GIs had complained to the gunmakers that their M-16s
wounded too many while killing very few (our AK-47 and AKM suffers from the
same imperfection). Then, the gunsmakers came right to the trenches, studied
the problem and began experimenting on the spot. Here's what they did: they
drilled a hole through the bullet's tip and soldered a needle inside the
hole. These modifications resulted in shifting of the bullet's centre of
gravity and when it hit the target, it reeled on almost all of the target's
guts too. Although the rounds' stability suffered greatly and the bullet did
produce more ricochets than before, the end result was more enemy fatalities
Soviet Army didn't produce anything original but rather copied the
American idea and, during the Afghan Campaign, swapped all 7.62 calibre AKs
with the 5.45 ones. Maybe fine for some, but I am personally not ecstatic.
We geared up, jumped a few times to warm up and studied each other.
- God help us, - I said and turned around. The five escort grunts were
busy carrying out the same manipulations. They were getting themselves ready
to see us off.
I looked again where the strangled sniper was meant to be hanging, but
the tank's gun was back to its normal state and the rope with the dead man
on it was already gone.
- Alright, let's move, - I ordered and nodded to the escorting grunts
to go first.
Knowing the surrounding terrain much better, they didn't select the
path we had chosen coming down, but rather dived into some basement first
and then took us through piled up slabs and breaches. At some stage we even
went down underground sewage network and afterwards and had to climb back
up. I completely lost my sense of direction and could only glance at my
wrist compass at times to see whether the overall course was correct. All
seemed right though. In about 30 minutes, the sergeant, who headed our
venture, halted and lit up a cigarette. All of us did the same. Then he
- That's it. Now, from here, it's about 7 blocks, no more, till you
reach your "boxes". Although, no more cover, only open spaces.
I finished off my cigarette and shook the sergeant's hand. Then, I
thanked every one of the escorting grunts and said:
- Good luck! We all need it, don't we?
- You guys go ahead; we'll stay here 10 more minutes. Just in case, -
said the sergeant.
- Let's move, - I ordered, turning to Semeon and Glue, pointing the
direction to them. Myself first, I popped out from the basement, tumbled,
whirled, finally coming up on one knee and scanning the surroundings in my
sights. There was nothing suspicious there and I waved to the guys the go
ahead. First, Semeon quickly popped out and then Glue emerged with his radio
Scurrying this way during the next forty minutes, we finally touched up
with our "boxes". As we started for the home base, furious fire came down at
us from the upper floors. I rode on the APC in the head of our convoy. The
vehicle took a spin to the left and hit the corner, then slowed down and
finally came to a complete halt. All of us, riding atop of the "box", opened
up in bursts of suppressive fire.
- Driver... You, screwed in the head mother! Get the hell out of here,
- I yelled into the hatch. Then ordered the grunts next me to start setting
up the smoke diversion.
- One of the caterpillars is torn! - The driver shouted back at me.
- F...ing hell... everyone off the "armour", now! Four of you start
pulling the track back on, the rest - secure our perimeter. I need two
GP-25s with me; second APC, load your cannon. That's all. Move it!
Again, the heat of the battle consumed me. The first feeling,
naturally, is fear. But after overcoming it, you begin to taste blood in
your mouth and suddenly find yourself feeling cool and mighty; all of your
senses sharpened. You note everything around you and your brain is like a
computer, always gives off the right decision as well as lots of other
possible options and combinations. I instantly leapfrogged off the "armour"
and hopped behind the piece of concrete wall close about. Convulsively,
trying to find the target but so far, can't find anything to fire at. OK,
now breathe... I'm ready... let's rock, men! Give them Hell! Blood is full
of adrenaline and I'm on fire again.
The grunts didn't have to be told twice. They promptly pulled the pins
out of smoke makers and our APC was wrapped up in the colourful clouds.
Russian soldier is very resourceful and, just in case, nicks off everything
that lies around unattended. After we took the Airport "North", the lads
collected all kinds of these smoke makers. In the second APC, fellows echoed
our little trick with the smokes. Actually, they did it just in time. The
"spooks", obviously, realised that it'd be too hard to blindly mow our
grunts off the "armour" and this time went for their RPGs.
What is RPG? It is a standard rocket grenade launcher. The toy has a
sister too: called "Muha", a tube-like devise (first versions were
telescopic). "Muha" is an antipersonnel weapon, whereas the RPG is for the
anti armour use. When a rocket-propelled grenade hits an obstacle (usually
an armoured plate), it blasts off thin, needle-like, piss that burns through
steel and creates a temperature of about three thousand degrees Celsius
inside the vehicle. Obviously, tank's ammunition detonates which, in turn,
rips off the tank's multi-tonne turret, tosses it off to about 30 meters and
tears to pieces bodies of the crew and infantry inside it. Many died while
they were still confined inside their mobile steel traps. In some cases,
drivers watched the road from the open hatch and were only cast out of their
vehicles by explosion, broken and muffled a little, but still alive and
mostly in one piece.
Now, these sons of bitches opened up on us from their RPGs and added
Shmels to the chorus. (AD. Shmel" (Russian word for bumblebee), is an
antipersonnel rocket Infantry flame-thrower (RPO-A, so-called bunker buster.
End of comment. AD) Although, neither they could clearly see us, nor could
we see them. In fact, the whole scene looked pretty comical. Wrapped up in
heavy, standard black smoke, from which the coloured fumes were raising,
like geysers into the sky: blue, red and yellow. They tangled in the air,
mixing up and coming apart again, diverting the ragheads' attention away
Our second APC's cannon let off a burst, firing blindly in the
direction where the spooks' rockets came from. Then suddenly, somewhere in
there something blew up. May be it was us, actually hitting something, or
their RPG gunner made a mistake in the heat of the gunfight. "Shmel", same
as "Muha", is just a pipe. For the total fuckheads, there is a direction
arrow with the description printed on it. Anyway, no one knew what happened
up there, but the God, evidently, was on our side today. As there was no
more gunfire coming from the spooks' positions, my grunts have gone
jubilant. Mostly they yelled out curses that could probably be understood by
soldiers of any army.
- Shut it! - I barked at them. - Keep pulling the track on. Second APC!
Secure our perimeter. Move it!
I rose and tried to loosen up my back and numb feet, I was still wary
and scrutinising the building where the shooting came from.
Judging from the angle: third floor. In the havoc and because of the
fumes, I never got the clear picture of what took place. Now, through the
clearing smoke, I could see a huge hole in the third floor's reinforcement,
blasted by the explosion. Thick black smoke was coming out of there.
During the whole encounter, Semeon stayed next to me and now declared,
pointing at the breach:
- Cooked the mothers! Vechaslav Nikolaevich, can we go check?
He was practically begging. It seemed like his fiance was holding it
off for him up there. I was curious myself though.
- Hold on, - I said to him and asked the crew, labouring near their
"armour", - How much longer?
- Any time now, comrade Captain, maybe 5 more minutes, - coughed up one
of the grunts, forcing the busted caterpillar onto the leading wheel.
- Semeon, Glue, Mazur, Americanets, Picasso - come with me. The rest
stays here, assisting the repairs and watching our backs. If we do not
return in half an hour, move forward, two blocks to the north. Over there,
you wait for another half an hour and then ride back to base. Gunnery
sergeant Sergeev will take over from me for the time being. All call signs
are the same.
Now to the grunts who'd come with me:
- OK, children, let's move it. Picasso leads, Glue at the rear. Semeon
- right flank, Mazur, take the left one. Have your grenades on stand-by.
- And me? - The skinny private put up his voice. The chap was a
qualified rock climber, nicknamed "Americanets" (the American). When he was
drafted, he came into the office wearing his American flag shorts.
- And you will walk by my side and watch your ass, - I replied in jest.
- Let's go clean them up.
Everyone understood perfectly what the words "clean up" meant. They
meant, "take no prisoners". "Good apache - dead apache", - Conquistadors'
motto was a close match in our case. What could we possible squeeze out of a
live spook? Nothing: no maps, no storage hides, no communication system
layouts - NO-THING. Moreover, a wounded raghead would be a major pain in the
ass. First, you'd have to pool men to guard him. Second, he'd still be
perfectly capable of pulling some kind of shit on us. Nor could he be
exchanged for anything. Finish him off on the spot and that's that. He too
would surely like it better than torture.
With caution, we came up the third floor. In two neighbouring flats the
rag-heads made up their firing nests. In the first one we found the "Shmel"
shooter, in the second - two of his unlucky comrades, with one RPK each. The
most disturbing thing was: they were just kids, most probably only about 13
to 15 years old. One of them was still alive and while unconscious was
quietly groaning. Judging from the fact that one of his legs was torn off
and he was bleeding heavily, I figured he wouldn't live for much longer. It
seemed like one of our cannon rounds dropped into the room where he was
launching his rockets from and blasted to shit his ammunition store. I
looked around, my good mood was totally gone by now. Of coarse these
rag-heads tried to blow us and all but... they're just kids for God's sake.
Damn it. I spewed and gave another order to my grunts: "Finish him off and
then sweep the block, someone might've got away." Although even I had doubts
that anyone of them could escape.
My grunts, Semeon, Glue and Picasso each let off a burst into the
disfigured body, one after another. The kid's body flexed out, bullets
ripping his chest open, some blasted his head to pieces and it sprayed the
walls in red clots of his brain. I calmly watched this murder. Then I looked
away from the corpse, still not used to this or maybe it's just normal human
reaction? Who can tell? I fetched the sniper's Marlboro packet and handed
some cigarettes to my grunts.
- Didn't you hear what I just said? "Sweep the block". Anyone not
clear? - I uttered, taking a puff. The grunts left, mumbling something.
Left alone, trying hard no to vomit, I went through the dead rag-heads'
Wow! An Army ID tag and many of them, OK, let's see: Semeonov Aleksey
Pavlovich, born 1975. Semeonov, Semeonov, Semeonov... It suddenly clicked in
my mind. Is that the Semeonov from the engineering regiment, which went
missing after we stormed the Airport? They sent the fellow for some mine
sweeping cord and he vanished. Was that he, shooting at us? I carefully
studied the dead rag-heads' faces, matching them to the badly preserved
photo on the ID Tag; I even looked inside the breach in the wall and at the
dead "Shmel" launcher's face. No, not him, thank God. Turned a few more
pages in his ID. Shit! Yes! Our division. Our Semeonov. Your deaths saved
you a lot of trouble, assholes! Your end would've been brutal. I would've
dealt with you myself. During my adventures in the former Soviet Union, I
learnt well how to make people talk, make them last long and stay conscious
all the way.
My sadness was gone in a heartbeat. I cared about the dead boys' souls
no more. My teeth cramped in rancour. If needs be, I'll tear anybody apart
for Russian soldier. I'll crush anything just to return the youngster home
alive and in one piece.
All of a sudden somebody was screaming from upstairs:
- Comrade Captain, Comrade Captain, they found some guy up there on the
roof. I think one of ours! - Americanets was fretting.
I flew up the stairs and felt no wheeze. On the roof, nailed to the
cross, a dead soldier's body was resting, just like Jesus. His own cut off
penis stuck in his mouth. Without even looking at his dirty face, I knew: it
was he, Semeonov. I probably only saw him about 10 times before and never
even spoke to the man. But suddenly tears were in my eyes and something
pinched in my nose. Now I regretted that I never got the chance to properly
meet the lad. I think he wasn't even one of the permanent staff. Right
before the Chechen campaign, he was attached to our brigade from Abakan.
- They nailed him to the cross and put it up on the roof. The cross
collapsed from the explosion and that's probably why we didn't notice it
before. - Picasso tried to explain something to me, feeling a little awkward
that we didn't discover the body earlier.
- He's one of ours. - I pronounced, labouring to stay calm, - Semeonov,
of the sappers. Disappeared off the "North" while minesweeping. I found his
ID tag on one of the shooters.
The grunts were like lightning-struck; they fussed about Semeonov,
removing him carefully from the cross. While doing that, they tried not to
hurt him, handling his body like he was still alive, whispering not to wake
him up and tears were falling down their faces complicating this chilling
job even further. I looked away, pulled out a smoke and lit it up. Thirstily
inhaling I tried to push the clog in my throat further down, glancing at the
hustling grunts at times to see how things were moving along. When
Semeonov's body was at last removed from the cross, lads placed it on some
kind of stretchers they put together from all sorts of rubbish they could
collect around here. When it was all over I said:
- Glue, get on the "boxes". Tell them to come closer and that we are
coming with a "cargo 200"... Our "cargo 200".
I was coming down the stairs ahead of the rest, checking for anything
suspicious along the way. My grunts were carefully carrying the stretchers,
like the man on them was only wounded. At the rear, Glue was struggling
under the weight of his radio transmitter and scraps of the armoury we
discovered at the rag-heads' nest.
We loaded the body into the infantry compartment inside our APC and
started for the home. I felt that for any "spook" that tried to stick his
nose out now, this attempt would be, for sure, his last. Confirmation to my
thoughts was the empty and terrifying look in my grunts' eyes, were I could
see the reflection of my own feelings. Only the fire of vengeance was
blazing inside them and nothing else. Blood; blood; I now only craved for
blood to drown my rage, breaking their skulls with my rifle's butt, crushing
their ribs under my boots, tearing and ripping their veins with my finger
nails, looking in his, her, their eyes and asking: "Why, why did you shoot
at the Russian soldiers?"
OK, hold on motherfuckers, I'm coming. No mercy for anyone, not for the
elderly, not for the children, not for the women - NO BODY will be spared.
Ermolov and Stalin were both right - these folk are not to be re-educated,
Our APCs were both speeding ahead. It seemed they were feeling our mood
too with their engines running absolutely fine now. Periodically, they
drenched us with their oily exhaust fumes, adding some kind of foppish gloss
to our black appearance. But our eyeballs were ablaze with mad fury,
demanding vengeance and there was now no place in our minds for fear.
Probably, in this state of mind, men run at machinegun nests to save others'
lives at the price of their own. Desire for vengeance suddenly grows into
care for those who are close to you and self-sacrifice for others.
Glinting at the surroundings I could feel movement inside the rubbles
with my skin. Resting AK on my elbow, I pulled out other ID tags and flicked
through a few more. Petrov Andrey Aleksandrovich - Maikop Brigade. Elizariev
Evgeniy Anatolievich - Internal Forces (they and the Rangers have their
garrison numbers marked with four digits and The Army have theirs marked
with five). Altogether, eight IDs - eight lives. Where are you boys?
Probably, no one will ever know and your mothers will be crying tears until
the end of their lives: their dead sons will have no graves. All of this is
awful. I finished off reading all of the remaining IDs, I was positive there
were no more grunts from our brigade in there. I hid them back in my inner
pocked, looked at my "cavalry" and shook my head, assuring them that none of
the remaining IDs belonged to anyone of ours. They again turned away,
watching out, racing past onetime battlefields. Demolished houses, torn down
trees, burnt and given up machinery. It was mostly tanks with torn
caterpillars and their turrets ripped off and tossed over to great
distances. APCs, with their thinner armour plates, were just blasted to
pieces. All depended on where the rockets hit and how much ammo the "boxes"
had onboard. Some drivers were lucky, others - not so much.
With pain I was looking at the trees. I like nature. Humans have a
choice. They can refuse to come here and go to jail for desertion or self
inflict an injury, thus buying themselves "the white" ticket out of here:
crafty Russians are capable of anything. But the trees and animals are
helpless. Men planted them at will; others came and wiped them out. And they
can do nothing in response. Neither trees, nor animals can flee or defend
themselves. Thus many died together with their owners on their porches. What
remain, people will eat later because of the famine. These-days people are
frequently seen tottering about like shadows amongst the rubble. Mostly
these are elderly men or middle-aged women. Everyone, who could fire weapons
and more or less think clearly, escaped into the mountains seeking
vengeance. No problem, we, in turn, will take revenge on them. Thus, closing
up this vicious circle. Every one of us thinks he's right. We all believe in
our own gods, praying them to help us and demanding retribution for deaths
of our friends and brothers. But God deals spoils and losses equally for
everyone. OK, so we'll fight. It would be pretty tough to fight the whole
nation though, as opposed to a regular army of one particular state. That's
what we've been taught to do. In an open field, busted your opponent,
occupied a town, picked up the spoils and back to the field. Here it's more
like in Afghanistan, fight the folk all you want. The whole thing is not
even a war. According to the law, all this is a piddling policing operation,
exclusive purpose of which is reinstating of the constitutional order.
However, no one knows what this order used to be like in the first place.
OK, while the "spooks" and us are mincing one another, someone in Moscow has
hit the jackpot. We've all seen a lot of that going on. For some, war is
like their mother. Not even one son of a bitch went down for all the blood
they've spilt in our spacious former Union. Not counting the Baltic States -
a couple of squealers and OMON guys went to jail, so what? They did nothing
but avenge the deaths of their friends, but those who gave them orders...
their bellies I would twitch with my bayonet, looking in their wide-open
from pain and fear eyes, listening to their deafening screams and breathing
in smell of their blood. That would be fun.
Yet here, people lived by penitentiary laws for four years. We fed them
with money, supplied with weapons and taught how to use them. Then we sent
them to fight in Osetia and Abhazia for us, - like we are not even aware of
what's going on. And when there was no longer need for them, they should've
been eliminated, but no, - we tried to domesticate the Chechen. Yeah, right!
He turned against our Moscow gang. Why, though, should the whole country
suffer? We even came here from Siberia to break up the dogs. China is closer
to us than Chechnya. Then men from ZabVO, DalVO and TOF were dragged down
here too. They can walk to the States or Japan. One thing isn't clear
though. Why is it so that the rag-heads left the oil refinery intact? We,
too, were strictly ordered not so much as touch it. Here is our Air Force,
happily bombing the city's living quarters, but as for the Staropromyslovsky
part - no way.
All of which means: the plant is somebody's property. Somebody who can
hush our Defence Minister and tell him specifically to leave it alone, - you
can level the whole town to the ground, but don't you dare ruining the
refinery. Of coarse, when Russian soldier is in rage, he's very difficult to
hold back, so too the rag-heads, not all are aware of the refinery's
importance. They naively think that they are actually fighting for their own
fucking freedom and don't get it, morons, that we are all simply taking part
in an ordinary criminal quarrel, very big though. One little baron decided
to screw The Big Daddy and start his own business. Then, Big Daddy sent his
own hood, the Russian Army, over, to bang the little fellow. But the baron
was a smart chap; he squalled with independence and sent his "bulls" in.
That's how the quarrel has begun. Now, no one can remember why the whole
thing started in the first place. The hoods are busy taking vengeance on
each other; meanwhile, their barons are making big bucks expropriating
salaries and pensions. The little one is pulling in Islamic World now, with
his cheap religious mottos. God, help us and forgive!
My APC took a sharp U-turn, which nearly cast me off the "armour".
That's right, moron, your business is to keep your teeth from clapping:
you'll break your neck one day, falling off the "armour" or a sharpshooter
snaps you. Your COs are there to think for you and supply you with the
ready-made decisions. Your objective is to survive and complete the task.
All else is shit. Take Andrei Petrov, former mortar platoon commander. He
had principles, right? He demanded that he be given two weeks to prepare his
men, considering the fact that his grunts were only drafted in November and
have only seen their rifles once before - during the oath. He was dismissed,
made an example, like a coward, a deserter. Replaced with a raw lieutenant -
two-year-termer college graduate. Where is that lieutenant now with his
mortar platoon? During the Airport assault he lost almost all of his men
and, himself, perished too. You see? They draft too many morons in The Army.
Some of them you have to stand for two years, others for twenty-five.
We tried to reason with our multi-star commanders that we are not ready
for any war, not technically, not logistically. Men are not prepared
physically. Then, in December, when the order came to load the gear onto the
locomotives and step out, the weather was freezing cold. As it is always
done in our Army, the diesel fuel, that vehicles were filled with, was of
the summer kind and rather depicted a tomato sauce. So, some smart ass from
our garrison came up with the idea to mix this "sauce" with kerosene. Yep!
You guessed it. One of the APCs blew up right in the parking lot with its
full ammo complement onboard; by some weird luck nobody was hurt. Second
burst while loading onto cars. And again God was on our side. And, as it is
customary in The Army, these events were used to write off much of the
property, just like Suvorov described in his "Saviour". According to the
official documents, those APCs had on board: not less than fifty uniform
coats, twenty-five night-vision devices, no fewer than a hundred pairs of
shoes and BDUs. When the papers were to be signed by the HQ representative,
he read that masterpiece and pronounced: "Add one more parka plus one more
BDUs, for me". Supplies XO added each of them by one and the General signed
the papers with his eyes shut.
Now this general is here somewhere. Thank God, he's just signing
papers. "Material battle losses" is probably his credo.
For now, my mind was occupied by thoughts of the dead sniper. What do I
tell at the HQ? How did it happen that he didn't make here? I knew well,
that no one would be breathing in my face with his honourable anger, only
with disappointment that they couldn't hank his guts themselves.
Particularly, the GRU and recon guys will be sad. It's their cup of tea,
just let them play with the fellow, they'd make him talk. We can do that
too, quick and simple, but they handle it gracefully. Liquor can't kill the
Suddenly something moved in the rubble, twinkling with rays of the
setting sun. My mind hasn't even produced a thought yet, but my hands
already responded, quickly raising my AK, finger clung to the trigger. And
only then my judgement kicked in - I saw our artillery spotters, the lads
constructed their positions in one of the remaining pieces of a house by the
road. They too met us with their rifle barrels. All of us, however, managed
to keep our cool and hold fire. Moreover, they just began to wind their
"Shilka" in our direction. It is a large calibre anti-aircraft gun (ZSU)
with four barrels. It would've chopped us to chips for sure. Alright, at
least we identified each other in time. We shouted merrily something to each
other for greetings. This meant the HQ is near. Yep, there is the blazing
fire-fountain from the breached gas pipe. 200 or so yards and we're "home".
Now we can relax a little.
- Hey, radioman, - I said to Glue, - Let them know we're coming, or
they'll shoot us to hell.
Glue tattled something in his headset and nodded to me that we were OK
to go. Talking or rather shouting through roaring diesels seemed senseless
and inappropriate with the dead man onboard our APC. Everyone felt a little
guilty for some strange reason, although, on the other hand, knew well that
he, himself, could've been down there in his place.
Cars retarded a bit and, manoeuvring this way, we passed a virtual
labyrinth of remaining concrete blocks and bricks. Soldiers watched us
through their sights from behind every corner. Their faces were all covered
with dust and, from that, seemed made of stone. They all looked exhausted,
with their dog-tired red eyes. The lads greeted us with smiles and gestures,
lowering their guns. We greeted guards the same way. I knew, our officers
and men would be betting on me delivering the sniper alive and well.
Personally, I wouldn't put my money on his safe journey.
Lucky, we returned before the daybreak. Some smarty-pants in the
defence ministry invented a new password system for us. Before, everything
was nice and simple, but now, the thing is a brain surgery, without ten
years of high school or lots of liqueur, impossible to translate. For
example, before, the password was "Saratov" and the reply to it was
"Leningrad", even a moron could understand that. Some grunts can barely read
or write: outcomes of the "perestroika". The core of the new system is the
number: say thirteen. The guard, seeing a silhouette in the dark, calls out:
"Stop! Password - seven!" Now, you have to instantly take away seven out of
thirteen and quickly yell back: "Reply - six!". After all this, the guard
must add his "seven" and your "six", get "thirteen" and then let you pass.
But, if any one of you can't count well enough or has something else on his
mind, then, according to the Statute of the armed guard service, the guard
can, and will, shoot you on the spot without any further investigation. And
no one prosecutor would lift his finger to pursue this issue any further.
You, moron, should've been learning your math back in high school. Fine, if
you are not completely deaf and the grunt on duty can actually count, but
some smart asses call out fractions and negative numbers. That's when you
recall all of his relatives, and your math skills, while you're at it. For
all this, some shithead got promoted back in Moscow, or maybe, even a medal
on his chest. Those snakes are capable of anything.
Thinking this way, we stopped near the partly demolished kindergarten,
where our brigade's HQ was now situated. I jumped off the APC, rubbed my
stalled and frozen feet and started for the entrance dragging my stiff legs.
I had to see our HQ's CO, Lieutenant Colonel, Alexandr Alexandrovich Bilich
first. All of us called him San Sanych. Already on my way, I ordered my
- Start offloading our hero, carefully.
Grunts nodded understandingly.
San Sanych was about 1.75m tall with broad shoulders and constant
sparks in his blue eyes. Or were the sparks just a fruit of our imagination?
San Sanych was somehow different from all the officers in our Brigade. He
was actually well mannered. At first, it seemed superficial, but the more
you got to know him the more you were convinced that it is really in his
nature. It seemed, he should've been born in times of chivalry, high society
and duels, definitely not in our mad century. Even now, when we are more or
less bottled in OK and started hammering our opposition, when the war, maybe
only at times for now, but has taken a proper shape of the trench warfare,
every day our lieutenant colonel Bilich has found the time for brief morning
Every morning, if it was possible to catch any sleep at all at night,
we crawled out of our cellars shacking from the cold. Because it's winter,
may be southern, but still a winter. As a rule, there was no water, and our
old unshaven whiskers were no longer rough, but felt rather fuzzy. However,
looking at your CO, you, unwillingly, pick yourself up and find the time,
the water and the razor. Although, many officers, some superstitious or some
just plane lazy, grew beards and moustaches. Some even looked great like
that. The only one who looked exactly like a Chechen, was, our recon platoon
leader, Hlopov Roman, naturally possessing dark skin and having grown a
dense beard. This way, during the Station siege, he was nearly shot by his
own grunts. Luckily, he put on a helmet and his armoured west; otherwise,
our sporty protectors would've definitely done him. Since then, Hlopov - we
called him Hlop - developed a habit to shave every morning no matter what.
About one and a half weeks ago, when he and the reconnaissance CO broke
through to the Airport "North", the allied commander's HQ, on the way back
they ran into an ambush. Their APC was blasted by RPG fire from a point
blank range. Hlop died instantly, the CO had a bad concussion. For two days,
skirmishing along the way, their grunts were slowly sneaking home. They
brought back the Hlop's mutilated body and the severely concussed, almost
deaf and blind, reconnaissance CO, Captain Stepchenko Sergey Stanislavovich.
As they recounted afterwards, the days they spent in basements and at
nights, risking the bullet from Chechens or from us, they crept back to
their home base. They slept in turns, using parts of the poor Hlop's body as
Maybe after his concussion or maybe after hiding in basements with the
corpse, Sereoga Stepchenko started having problems. We almost cured his
sight and hearing with liquor, but he couldn't stand closed and tight spaces
anymore. Mostly he's OK, working and fighting, but sometimes he's just
mumbling something completely out of this world. Our brigade's Commander,
Colonel Bahel Alexandr Antonovich, placed an order to dismiss Stepchenko
from his post, and watch him so he doesn't make any trouble. There was no
chance to medivac the man as even our wounded were lying in bunkers:
choppers couldn't land. He was, temporarily, replaced by senior lieutenant
Krivosheev Stepan. Bilich San Sanych was taking care of Stepchenko, not just
him though, of everyone around him. He arranged for the grunts that brought
him and the Hlop's body back, to be awarded each by the Hero Of Russia
Medal. But for now, the papers were kept in Chiefs of Staff's safe.
Out of his principles, Bilich didn't recognised physical methods during
conversations with the enemy or cursing with his own men. But the
interesting part was, I knew from my own personal experience, that if you
yell cursing at somebody, everything is done more quickly and clearly.
And now I had to explain to this gentleman that I failed to deliver the
sniper because grunts' thin patience wore off and they hung him off a tank's
barrel. Trying a few combinations in my mind that could spare San Sanych's
delicate hearing and let the Com-Batt and Ivan off the hook, I entered the
HQ. On the way in I met our Supplies XO, Kleymeonov Arkadi Nikolaevich.
Everybody was describing him with Suvorov's words: "...we can comfortably
hang any supply officer in one year time...". Looking at the well-shaped
figure of our "rear XO", you knew that the Generalissimos was absolutely
right: in his time, Kleimeonov would've being dangling off the tree by now.
His personal luggage has been growing in size by the day, regardless of the
- Ah, Slava, how was the trip? Got the sniper?
- No such luck, Arkadiy Nikolaeich, he passed away, - I made a
compassionate face, my eyes were telling a different story though and the
rear XO picked up on my game.
- Really? - Kleymeonov made a puzzled face and asked me, sounding
- Weak heart, - I smiled, - he was wounded too, so didn't survive the
departure. Now I have to delicately explain it to San Sanych. He'll be
- He's too busy for that now. By the way, nobody believed you'd bring
him anyway. Il'in and yourself could've thrown him harakiri over there on
the spot. It is a petty though; we had people queuing up to converse with
him, - Kleymeonov shone his teeth.
- They were betting, weren't they? - I asked.
- Sure, but mostly on your failure.
- By the way, I also brought a soldier with me, Semeonov, disappeared
during the "North" siege; my grunts are offloading him now. What else is
- You were only gone for four hours. Oh, yeah, - his voice turned
gloomy, - Chief of Staff of the Second Battalion was wounded.
It seemed that the walls around us swayed.
- Sashka Pahomenko? - I asked.
- Himself. They are trying to break through to the hotel "Kavkaz".
There are as many rag-heads there as there are demons in hell, so he caught
a bullet in his chest. Medics couldn't get up there. Sargent patched him up
for now. Now we're getting a storm group ready, made of scouts. Under the
cover of dark, they'll try to get him out of there, - I could see Kleymeonov
was pretty sad, telling me all that.
Captain Pahomenko Alexandr Il'ich was loved by all in our brigade. Very
tall fellow, open-minded, he loved having fun. He knew countless gags, funny
stories and practical jokes, never malicious. The main thing about him was
his openness and honesty. It always deeply affected people who knew him.
While taking to him, in about ten minutes you felt like you had known the
man since your college years. With all that he was never a layabout or an
idler. He was always the first one where it was the hardest, always rushed
in to help everyone. Our officers and men liked him unmeasurably. He could
help with his words or action, he could also swear like hell - was a real
virtuoso in that field. He could get behind the steering wheel of an APC, in
freezing cold fix an engine or give soldiers a good lecture. Well, the very
type of officer that our information sources were always pounding us with.
Detesting his enemy, never hiding his genuine feelings, never refusing to
give a helping hand. A bit loud at times, but you get used to it in time.
That's what he's been to us, Sashka Pahomenko, who always asked to call him
"simply Il'ich". Strange, but at war, these little, long forgotten things
are suddenly surfacing in your mind. And now this young man was lying in
some basement with a hole in his chest. God help him.
- OK, Arkadiy Nikolaevich, I'm off to see San Sanych, - I nodded and
headed off along the corridor.
- He's in there with an Allied HQ representative. Bahel is out in the
Third Battalion's HQ, meanwhile this clean-cut chap is stamping Sanych's
brain. They'll probably throw us in to push somewhere, where our elite
forces shitted themselves. It's always like that, they get to receive medals
and fire at the parliament palace in Moscow and we, Siberian mahra, to
crunch asphalt in winter. For that, we get to go home and they will pose for
cameras and tell stories to girls, - he spewed and wondered off.
The corridor was full of officers and soldiers. Some were smoking, some
taking a snooz, leaning against walls riddled by bullets and shrapnel and
raising their heads time to time from close explosions.
We paid one hell of a price for this kindergarten. In his time, Dudaev
announced that Chechnya does need scientists but needs warriors. Thus, boys
should go to school for three years and girls for only one. Since women stay
at home at all times anyway, kindergartens became obsolete. Then, people,
close to his government, some with bribes, some with force, has claimed them
all. This one too was rebuilt as a villa and belonged to one of the Dudaev's
bandits. The owner and his gang fought for it with ferocity.
We were busting these snakes out of here for 12 hours straight and when
finally broke in, learnt that he maintained a pretty good live style in
here: all floors were covered in carpets, not the cheap stuff but handmade.
Design furniture, crystal and china, appliances we only ever saw in
brochures. Left around photos had all his family pictured. We lacked women
here, that's for sure, but I have never seen a pretty Chechen, not on
pictures, not in real life. All had small faces, narrow eyes, hooklike noses
and thin lips. Just like rats, if you ask me. Everyone has different tastes
though. As we say, - "there are no ugly women, there is just not enough
liquor, but I couldn't drink that much..."
Occupied by this kind of thoughts I entered the main HQ's room in the
basement. I pushed the door covered up by a raincoat-tent and felt the
warmth coming from the army camping heater in the corner. I guess these
heaters are only still alive in the Army. As long as the army exists they'll
always be there on manoeuvres and at war, to offer soldiers warmth and
- Comrade Lieutenant Colonel, captain Mironov, reporting back to duty,
- I reported, looking at Bilich, who was leaning at the map. Next to him,
bent over the map, were my partner or, as we called each other, "henchman",
major Ryzhov Yuri Nikolaevich and some other officer.
- We've been waiting for you, Vechaslav Nikolaevich. Did you pick up
the sniper? - The Chief of staff asked me, inquisitively looking in my eyes.
- Here is your mate, - he nodded at Ryzhov, - was betting a six-pack of
cognac that you won't.
- If I had only known about the cognac, Alexandr Alexandrovich, I
would've brought back at least his head. But the dog died from his wounds
and probably from some kind of heart condition. The son of a bitch was, from
his own words, our compatriot, from Siberia. Thirty-two slashes I found on
his rifle's butt and a fine Japanese scope too.
- Where is the rifle? - Took interest in our conversation Ryzhov.
- I left it back there. They show it to the grunts for ferocity and not
a bad feed for themselves too.
- Yeah right, "feed". We all need only one feed now - air support,
probable enemy positioning and where the bustards are getting their
resupplies from. They were not ready for this war for sure and prepared
nothing: no arms, no ammunition and no food.
- That's not all, - I interrupted Bilich, - on the way back we were
fired upon and took on the rag-heads. After the counterattack, destroyed our
enemy and found these on the corpses... - I reached my hand out with the
dead soldier's ID tag. - One of ours. Semeonov.
Again a clog was stuck in my throat, making it difficult to talk or
breath. I pulled my cigarettes out. Bilich wouldn't object, realising what
state I was in, although himself was a non-smoker. After a few deep gasps I
felt the clog disappearing and continued:
- The snakes, probably, were torturing him for some time, and likely
while he was still alive, cut his penis off. Then nailed him to a cross,
like Jesus. Penis stuck in his mouth. We brought him back; my grunts are
probably offloading him now. Here is some more, - I fetched the rest of the
IDs, - them too I got off the dead "spook". No more of ours though.
San Sanych carefully listened to me, looking straight into my eyes,
then, took the ID tags, briefly flicked through them, noting only the
garrison numbers, added them up in a little pyramid and handed it to the
- By the way, let me introduce you, - he turned to the major, - Major
Karpov Vechaslav Viktorovich, Allied HQ representative, General Command HQ
officer. And this, - he said pointing at me, - Captain Mironov, our
Brigade's HQ senior officer, an adventurer and a warrior. Still can't get
accustomed to the fact that he is a HQ officer now not a combat company
commander, - San Sanych somewhat fatherly lectured me.
I was a bit stunned by the fact that my CO would speak of me so
heartily. I reached out and shook the major's hand.
- Vechaslav, - he introduced himself.
Namesake. We'll see, what kind of bird you are and what the hell you're
here for. I figure, one of the big boys, since was sent to us. They might
want us softened up before giving some suicidal task or maybe find out in
what state of affairs the brigade is in and then fire the CO. These fat cats
from Moscow love this kind of tricks.
I looked at him a bit more carefully this time. The face definitely
looks familiar, but where I saw him before, I, for now, couldn't recall. OK,
we'll figure that one out later. The fact that he was from Moscow and from
the General Command HQ, immediately made me, like any other line combat
officer, dislike him. All grievances come from them. They are all bastards
and voracious rats. All soldiers knew this axiom, watching them do nothing
but drink themselves stupid at every inspection and then departing for home
with generous gifts. Human garbage, from first to last. It's their fault
we're here in the first place. Moscow has planned the first and this Grozny
assaults. 25[th] of November and 1[st] of January will
both be black pages in the Russian Army's History Book.
I thought about it while I was shaking the Moscow officer's hand and
squeezing out of my face some kind of smile. Although, I think, my parched
face reflected all my thoughts pretty well. But I couldn't send this coxcomb
to hell right here, in front of San Sanych, whom I respected too much.
- Vechalsav, - I introduced myself back to this Moscow rooster.
- Major Karpov, take these IDs to the HQ please, let them work out
which regions the soldiers are from and notify their families, - San Sanych
passed the tags to him.
The rep nodded, took the IDs and without even looking or counting,
dropped them into one of his parka's outer pockets. Any normal officer
would've at least counted them respectful of the dead.
I was a bit disturbed by this and asked the son of a bitch with badly
- Aren't you going to loose them like this, my honourable man? Human
lives are behind them.
Spotting the rage in my voice, San Sanych and Ryzhov looked at the guy
like he was an enemy of the state. He must've understood his lapse, mumbled
something and placed the IDs in one of his flank jacket inner pockets,
meanwhile giving me a very expressive look, like he wanted to grind me into
dust. Alright, my boy, look all you want, I can chill a drunken soldier with
my look, as for you, dandy ass, I can bring you down to your knees. I calmly
stood the look of his watery eyes. He even seemed flimsy. About a meter
seventy in hight, may be less, skinny and with small head. All blond, like
albino, except his eyes, they weren't red, but rather colourless. His
appearance was just repulsive, and his quiff, that he was fixing constantly,
was even adding something female to it. Maybe he's gay: a funny thought
breezed through my mind. The General Command HQ Officer is a homo. That
would make a lot of noise. Well, I heard, in Moscow, it's very fashionable
these days - alternative sexual lifestyles. I don't think I'll be sleeping
next to him. Though, I think he's just lifeless, like a jellyfish. I might
offer to paint this queer orange, for fun. Would make snipers' job easier
For a second, I imagined the major painted in red colour and a smile
stretched my lips. Karpov studied himself nervously - something wrong with
his dress? Having ensured that his uniform was intact and finally realising
that I'm just laughing at him, he stared at me angrily in response.
Knowing my wild character and to relieve the tension in the air, San
Sanych declared, talking to everyone at the same time:
- Let's stop plotting against each other for now and go see Semeonov's
corpse. We'll fill in the paperwork and you, Vechaslav Viktorovich, - he
looked at Karpov, - would have to take him with you to the airport and send
We all moved for the exit. Officers and men were already out in the
yard. The corpse was carefully placed on the rolled out canvas, hands folded
on his chest. Nail holes in the wrists were clearly seen, his face was
thoughtfully covered with a soldiers' handkerchief. Hats off, all present
were just standing around in silence. What was on their minds could only be
read on their tight-lipped faces. Lucky for the sniper, he was dead. Here,
he would've lived a long time, to his distress.
Bilich came over to the diseased, lifted up the handkerchief, looked at
his dirty face with forever frozen mask of terror on it, sighed and, turning
toward standing next to him Kleymeonov, gave him an order:
- Arkadiy Nikolaevich, fill in the ID report and prepare the body to be
sent home. The HQ representative will take it with him.
- Sure, Alexandr Nikolaevich, - and then to the surrounding him grunts,
- Take the man inside. It's warmer in there. Call for the bookkeeper; tell
him to write up the ID Act, the death notification and whatever else is
Everyone suddenly went active. Bilich announced, talking to Ryzhov, the
Moscow dandy and me:
- Let's go eat.
I had, of coarse, nothing against throwing something in my stomach and
tipping a nip or two, but not in the company of this faceless shit, that's
why I politely refused his offer:
- Thank you so much, comrade Colonel, but I'd rather do it later. I
have to wash off the dust first and get the sniper and Semeonov's reports
out of the way. Other paperwork can't wait for too long either.
- As you wish. But at 2100, please be here at my meeting. Com-brig
should be too back by then, - carefully looking at me, said San Sanych. It
seemed that he figured out what the real reason for my refusal was.
They went inside. I watched the grunts carrying away all that remained
of Semeonov, then turned around and wandered off to my truck. Every
brigade's HQ officer had his own truck. With Yurka Ruzhov, between the two
of us, we shared GAZ-66 with a plywood cab. Although, most officers
preferred to spend those few minutes of rest in basements, we loved our cab.
We also had a personal driver, Harin Pashka, one meter and seventy tall,
with broad bone, big and always twinkly face, little eyes but red hair,
short, almost shaved, hairdo at the back, according to soldiers' fashion,
and always waving long quiff. Naturally, Pashka was a crook and a worm, but
I repeatedly observed him in gunfights: many times he pulled out the truck,
with us, from under fire, for that we cared for him and trusted him. In
peacetime Pashka was a leave abuser, bitter disciplinary offender, big
liquor fan and a womaniser. His pregnant fiance was waiting for him back
where we came from. He had another year to serve before discharge. Pashka
knew practically everything that was going on in the brigade thanks to his
friendship with the grunts from the HQ, communications hub and canteen. He
supplied us with news, some of which he found out significantly earlier than
we did, receiving his information from the comms operators. All of this gave
us more time to think about it and then come forward with good advice and
initiatives during the Sanych's or Com-brig's meetings, while others were
only chewing on the newly received information. For that our superiors
regarded us highly as competent officers. Although, we've always been on top
as it is, the head start was never a burden.
Walking up to our truck I noticed with satisfaction that Pashka managed
to fill up the sandbags and enclosed the truck with them. Now we can breath
almost freely. There was a thin puff of smoke rising from the pipe meaning
that we've got heat, hot water and dry cigarettes. I came up to the door and
called out without opening:
- Pashka! Where are you?
- I'm here, comrade Captain. Guarding.
Pashka's figure emerged from the dark; I glanced at the position, he
has chosen for his guard and noted to myself that he did it rather cleverly.
- All right, my lovechild, what've you got to make your father happy?
Did you behave? - I asked him jokingly.
- Everything's fine, Vechaslav Nikolaevich. Enclosed the truck with
sand, got some food too.
Food was a problem, same as matrasses, linen and the BDUs.
Reinforcement columns were left behind at the airport; it made no sense
dragging them down with us under fire. Only the tankers, carefully guarded,
carried over fuel for vehicles and power generators. Of coarse, every
officer and soldier had reserves in their tanks and APCs: canned stew and
meat kasha containers. But that's no real food, a paved road to stomach
ulcer. That's why everyone was constantly busy hounding for nutrition.
During the assault on this nice kindergarten, in its basements, we
found a decent supply of food and beverages. Much of that we've already
eaten and drunk, but we all knew who amassed most of it and using Pahka's
personal charm or his cheeky character, periodically expropriated some from
the comms operators.
- Sonny, - talking to Pashka, I worked my way into the cab, - What
kinds of entree and oversees brandy do you have to soften up your old and
- Dutch ham, roasted lamb, sardines, I think French, and two bottles of
cognac, judging from the labels, also French.
- Got the hot water? - I inquired taking off my rifle, coat and other
- Yep, full kettle, - reported Pashka, throwing the rifle behind his
- Let's go, flush some on to me and then have dinner, - I have already
comfortably settled in the warm atmosphere of the cab and now unwillingly
stepped out into the night cold undressed.
I scrubbed myself slowly and carefully, huffing and spitting out dirt
and dust that clogged my nostrils and mouth. We had no steamer here so far;
for that reason we gathered a lot of fresh towels and some cheap polish
fragrance in the airport and periodically, stripping naked, rubbed ourselves
with them. Our underwear we just chucked, putting on new pairs each time.
I got back into the cab, put some cloths on and was wiping up my rifle
with a piece of cloth. Meanwhile, Pashka cut up the ham and smelly lamb ribs
and opened up a can of sardines. In the centre of the table he set up the
sealed bottle of cognac "Hennessey". I opened it and smelled the contents.
Not bad at all. Poured out some of it into plastic glasses, a bit more for
myself. I lifted the glass, looked though it at the light, shook it and
smelled once more, I definitely liked the aroma.
- So, Pavel, to good luck.
We cheered and tipped the glasses.
- Vechaslav Nikolaevich, what happened to the sniper?
- Don't you know already? Glue, Semeon, Americanets and the others
must've told you all about it by now. He died from the heart condition and
his wounds; the rest is none of your business. Now give me the news. Isn't
the war over yet?
- Not by a long shot, - pronounced Pashka, - on the contrary, the order
came through, to speed up the assault of the hotel "Kavkaz". They even
promised us air support. And then the brigade will be thrown in to storm the
Minutka Square with the Dudaev's Palace.
- That's where we'll all drop dead, because it is an obvious suicide to
attack a structure of this kind with only one brigade. What else?
- The second batt's Chief of Staff was wounded and some artist is up
there stuck with them. Shevchuk from "DDT". Ever heard of him?
- No, never heard of him before. What's he doing up there anyway?
- Nothing really. He came to Grozny for a concert and then asked for a
ride to the front line. Left all his musicians at the airport and popped up
over here. Who could predict that the second batt would be then screwed like
this? So now he's stuck there. Lads said on the radio he's pretty snappy,
not scared at all and even rushing into battle.
- Yep, now they'll throw our reserves in there to get him out and maybe
even take the hotel for once. Finally medivac all our wounded to the airport
and then go home.
- The Moscow officer was going around taking to grunts. What's up in
the brigade and how they're coping?
- You should've told him to go screw himself and that's that. They
won't send you any further than here. We've got our own zampolit to do this.
We've all seen him in action; he's not hiding behind grunts' backs and
doesn't crunch on his rations under the bed. And never throws any theatrical
shit either. OK, I'll figure out later what to do with that dick. It's
killing me that I can't remember where I saw him before, but I did for sure.
- He says he was in the Prednestrovie at some stage. Something like
this went down there. You were there too, weren't you? May be that's where
you met the man?
- May be so. Only I can tell you, Pashka, Pridnestravie of coarse was a
lot of fun, but compared to Chachnya all that was like an innocent walk in
the park. Over there, the war was more of a classic trench style, although,
Bendery and Dubosary did change hands a few times. But overall, compared to
this madhouse - boy-scout camp "Sunrise".
Now I noticed that Pashka was wearing a rifle bullet on a piece of rope
around his neck - an ancient soldiers' amulet; supposedly this very bullet
was meant for you. If it was only so! These "charms" only relax you
unnecessarily and flatten your sense of vigilance. I smirked:
- You better hang a hand-grenade there by its safety pin, and I'll
fetch it, or a mine. How about artillery round? How do you know that this
bullet was cast for you? Not shrapnel or a concrete block? Go ahead, hang
everything on your neck, it might be useful. Remember that grunt from the
tank battalion? They found him strangled by this very rope with bullet, just
like yours. It didn't save him. Thus, don't be a moron - take it off and use
the bullet as intended
Gabbing this way, I slowly wiped out the food on the table and leant
back. Lighting up a sniper's cigarette I took a puff. The packet was a bit
wet though, possibly from my sweat or humidity.
- Pashka, got dry cigarettes?
- Yep, - he handed me a packet of "Palmira", or, as we call it, "Bum in
the mountains". Because the packet depicted some kind of hobo with a stick
over his shoulder, wearing vocational panama and jellaba (just like a
"spook") and a mountain gorge on the background. - Please, Vechaslav
Nikolaevich. I've got more drying out on the heater. Give me yours; I'll fix
them up too.
I took the packet, twirled it, then lit up and stashed it in one of my
- Give me paper, will you. I'll start on the sniper's report.
Pashka gave me paper and sat down near:
- Kozaks arrived, asking to let them fight. Even submitted letter of
recommendation from the Commander in Chief, - Pashka said softly while
cleaning up the remainders of my dinner. Meanwhile I was finishing off the
- Well, if they are so anxious to fight for mother Russia - let them do
it. In Moldova they fought pretty well, even captured weapons for
themselves, - said I without raising my head.
- Bahel said the same thing and sent them to the recon guys. All five
- I suppose I should go and meet them at some stage.
All of a sudden, somewhere close by, a furious skirmish broke out. Both
of us flew out of the cab at once. Shivering, I pulled on my coat; my mag
pouch with a few extra clips was dangling on my shoulder. In case of an
attack on the HQ, every officer and soldier knew his area of responsibility.
That's why without any extra fuss we sprinted for our little foxhole, dug
about by Pahka a few days ago.
Somebody was discharging long bursts, meaning that the contact was a
close one. Someone was yelling from the dark:
- North-east, white five-story house. Discovered an infantry
detachment, about ten men in all, could be a diversion of some kind.
Not much could be seen in the settling dark, except a few blurred
silhouettes. Somebody started launching flares. Pashka too launched a
couple. Then, in about thirty yards, I noticed rag-heads, crawling toward
us. They were all dressed in nice Turkish camouflage of significantly better
pattern and quality than ours. If I catch a "spook" of my size - definitely
strip him. Back in Prednistrovie, we caught a "policeman" once, in May's
excruciating heat. My feet were boiling and this guy was wearing these
really cool boots. Back then they were a rarity, light afghan type with the
reinforced base, especially for mountaineering. So I got them off him. Back
then we didn't kill prisoners; they were kind of the same as us, fighting
because of morons politicians. Now I have been wearing them for three years,
although they lost their attractive looks but nobody makes them anymore.
Maybe, someone will pull them off me just like I did, perhaps alive or maybe
dead. God alone knows.
I touched Pashka's elbow and showed him the rag-heads.
- Let's go, - I whispered.
We opened up in short bursts. In flares' light we could see the little
geysers of mud and snow. The rag-heads realised that they have been
discovered and fired back at us. They were definitely in a worse situation
and thus were letting off long bursts, crawling backwards. Someone opened up
from his under barrel launcher cutting them off. Suddenly a machinegun fired
from behind us. Did they plan to encircle us?
No freaking way, assholes! I felt my fatigue beginning to disappear and
again, intoxicating rush of the gunfight was consuming me, the flow of blood
thrusting into my head forcing out remainders of the grogginess.
- Pashka, cover me, I'll do them from my launcher, - I yelled with
excitement, getting the weapon ready.
- Come-on my darling, don't let me down, - I muttered, shoving grenade
into its black trunk.
"Bang", said my launcher, spitting the grenade towards the rag-heads.
Too high, I noted correcting. Another one. Gotcha. The grenade burst right
in the middle of the group of crawling "spooks". Two of them whirled around,
obviously wounded; the third got up on his knees holding his head and then
dropped face down in the mud.
- That one's cooked, - I yelled in intoxication, meanwhile spotting
another target. But the rest of the reg-heads managed to hide behind the
rubble and began to gush at us from their rifles. Now, the flares worked
against us, clearly giving away our positions.
A grenade exploded right behind us. Looks like they too have the
launchers. "Issued from the same warehouse?" I thought, bitterly grinning at
my sad idea.
I switched to automatic now, trying to spot where the enemy fire was
coming from. Somebody was running at us from behind, heavily treading. We
turned around sticking our rifle barrels into the dark, ready to open up at
any moment. That was Yurka Ryzhov.
- Shit, man, you scared the devil out of us, - said I getting back to
- Yep, it's definitely more fun over here than with that Moscow creep.
Ragging and ragging constantly. This is not right; that document is not
correctly filled in. Do not write down that the man was captured prisoner;
indicate that he is being unlawfully detained by the illegitimate armed
formations. He also recommended that we speed up the hotel "Kavkaz" assault,
ourselves, take it in the shortest possible time and then proceed toward the
Minutka Square and storm it on the march, - he stopped for a second and then
added: - head on.
- Stuff that. They can storm it themselves if need it so much. As for
us, we need more air support, - I yelled angrily, firing back into the
night. After the Yurka's news I went frantic and was hammering with long
bursts, - you see, I just took one out, the other two are over there
whirling, probably wounded.
Judging from the shooting, we figured the reg-heads were not leaving
just like that. Somewhere from behind our backs we heard "Shilka" talking,
the one that was set up this morning. Well, now it'll chop them up like
salad with its rapid fire and calibre. Yurka together with us, was, with
excitement, picking at the rag-heads with long bursts, keeping the bastards
from raising their heads.
- Slava, the Moscow shithead says he saw you before in Kishineov.
All of a sudden, it became crystal clear. Now I remembered everything.
When back in Kishineov, without any ID papers, we were transferred over the
front line back and forward; this degenerate was there in the Staff Office.
Then his Office was reassigned to the Moldova Republic. Although he stayed
there in the same department and rank. Our personal folders then fell into
the Moldovans' hands. At the end, all of us were pronounced war criminals. I
came to him asking to return my folder, but he bluntly refused, motivating
that I am, in fact, a war criminal and he wouldn't want to be my accomplice.
Then he suggested I leave immediately or he'd call the guards and arrest me
on the spot. The son of a bitch changed colours quickly, but apparently,
eventually had to run for his life too. In a few months, they declared an
amnesty and I am, for now, not a criminal anymore.
The rag-heads started hammering our positions with renewed energy.
Somebody screamed from behind us after the next burst. Shit, someone was
hit. We saw a flash in the dark and redirected our fire over there. In a
couple of minutes somebody in there screamed and something made a noise.
For a few more minutes, in excitement, we kept going in the enemy's
direction, but there was no response. Apparently the rag-heads retreated
having got enough. We had no particular desire to go and check the area.
We'll find out when the sun rises.
- Apparently the original owner came for his liquor, - jested Yura.
- The moron must've forgotten what Karl Marks wrote in his "Capital" on
the second page first paragraph.
- What did he write, Vechaslav Nikolaevich? - Pashka enquired from the
- A very simple phrase - was yours, now is ours. Expropriation of the
expropriators. If they hadn't screwed around, we wouldn't have come here in
the first place.
- Anything left to drink? - Ryzhov wondered.
- Sure, don't you worry; haven't you had a drink with the faceless
shit? - I replied.
- We have, but he is too fussy. We didn't offer him any cognac but
rather had Vodka. The son of a bitch wondered if we, by any chance, had any
- Moscow motherfucker, - I spewed into the mud, meanwhile, in complete
darkness, filling up empty magazines, feeling the rounds with my fingers. -
All seems quiet. Let's go back. I still have my report to finish and San
Sanych's meeting to attend.
- OK. Pashka you stay here and guard, if you spot anything - call out,
we'll come and rescue you form the evil Chechen, - Yura jested.
We got out of the foxhole and, shaking off the dirt from our BDUs,
started for the cab. Around us in the darkness, officers were walking, to
their trucks to prepare for the meeting.
- Hey people, who was shot? - I yelled into the night.
- The comms driver, Larionov. He's OK though. The shrapnel only
punctured the skin but the bones are fine. He is in the sickbay now. He'll
live, - a voice answered me from the dark, sounded like the Arms XO
Cherepkov Pavel Nikolaevich.
- Soon, there won't any more room in the sickbay to put the wounded. We
should try to break out the blockade and ship them all out, or we'll lose
them, - said loudly Yura, returning to the cab.
- We should look into it and discuss with our COs, - I picked up his
- Let's have a drink and then go listen to the rant of the Moscow pimp,
- said Yurka, casting his rifle in the corner, - for I am sick of doing it
alone. According to their perception, we can't fight for shit; we have to
inspire men, make them imagine that all this is the Berlin assault and the
Dudaev's Palace is the Reichstag. Bloody paranoia. If it were up to them,
these bastards would lay us down like rails for their cheap glorious
speeches, - Yurka was heating up more and more, that however didn't keep him
from pouring out Vodka and opening sardines cans.
- Alright, Yurok, stop it. Let's drink up and later on the meeting,
we'll bonk the asskisser. Don't worry too much. Whatever they cook up, we
are the ones who will be carrying it out. With the present air support and
artillery back up, we're stuffed anyway. He can go and screw himself. OK, -
I lifted the glass to my eye level and looked at the colours play, - let's
go, to us, the good guys, and death to the morons.
- Yeah right, start holding your breath, - Yurka just wouldn't cool
down and, it seemed, was boiling even more. - Fight them all you want
they'll win anyway. It looks like they are intentionally working for the
Chechens, to kill as many our men as possible.
- OK, Yura, stop yelling, we have to think of the way to get the
wounded out of here. They won't give us a break until we step out anyway.
And during the assault we'll take in more casualties for sure, now you do
the maths. If you ask me, tomorrow morning we have to fetch the recon guys
from the third battalion with whatever they still have that we can ride on,
and break out. Otherwise we'll lose shitload of men. Drink up, - I raised my
glass and toped it without cheers. Yurka too drunk his.
Since we were under our full strength during the departure, we were
complemented by one more battalion from Novosibirsk. According to the
initial plan, we had to complete all preparations by autumn and depart for
Tadzhikistan for integrating into the 201[st] division or some
peacekeeping force; anyhow, to fight for God knows what or who. So this
battalion arrived on new, experimental BMP-3s. The machine looked great,
everything seemed thought of, - however, turned out total shit. Stuffed with
electronics like your Lexus, but made in mother Russia. Thus, at first, we
coped so much shit from it. It couldn't fire its weapons on the run:
equipment failed from vibration. All its sighting systems were electronic,
thus totally useless garbage. When it did fire, it couldn't move: something
again to do with the damned computer. Well, all in one word, - very crude
system and thus terrible. In the third battalion, twenty-four men died in
the first quarter of January because of this buggered APC. Terrible
statistics, isn't it? All because this unrefined machinery was shipped to
the Army, furthermore, to the war zone. About five of them we've lost
already. We've moved them off to a safe place and, for now, use as
machinegun nests. Although the cannon jams after it fires its first shot. Or
as taxi charter in the more or less safe neighbourhoods. I wish those snakes
that accepted this weaponry dropped dead.
Having my second drink I listened to Yura telling me about my Moscow
namesake. He was on fire after I left - at war, he said, some officers let
themselves loose and do not exercise proper behaviour code towards their
superiors; the discipline is lax and so on and on. Then, having sent all
this Moscow bullshit artists to hell, we finished off the bottle and in good
mood left for the meeting. We felt like teaching the Moscow rep a lesson in
gallantry and military science, in front of all the brigade's officers. At
war, feelings towards all representatives are always the same - nobody can
send you any further than these tranches, and their official warnings are
not like clap, they'll hang out there for a while and then fall off at some
stage. By the way, my honourable reader, - clap (gonorrhoea), is "the
officers' heyfever". Back in their college years, half of the officers'
corps managed to catch it. In the Army, compared to civilian life, this
disease is not considered shameful. Shit happens.
At the meeting, every officer knew his spot. Like all HQ officers, we
were sitting close to the Chief of Staff. The meeting room was situated in
the former children's basketball court, which had become a lounge room at
the Chechen owner's villa, where he built in a beautiful fireplace, which
we, in turn, were feeding with his own furniture. By the way, red timber
burns badly, a lot of smoke and not much heat.
Our com-brig was sitting at the head of the big dinner table. As we
could see he didn't even wash up since his return. Judging from his mood, we
figured second battalion was in deep shit. Somebody was talking behind us; I
turned around - it was our Recon CO. His face was just as dirty as the
com-brig's. I figured they went together and thus asked him:
- How did you two go? How is the second battalion?
- Totally stuffed. On the way back we drove into an ambush, one APC was
hit. Driver wounded, Gusarov, you know him? First, busted the track then
wasted us at close range. Barely escaped with our lives.
- No, I don't know him. - I shook my head. - Bad wound?
- His wrists are badly burnt, shrapnel cut his shoulder and part of his
ear is gone. If they keep his hands, he'll be fine. It's a petty though, he
is a smart fellow and I wanted to make him a sergeant.
- Listen, I'll be suggesting now that before we go out and help the
second battalion, we should ship our wounded off, or they're all goners,
your driver too, by the way. For that we have to contract the third
battalion and your lads. What do you reckon?
- Sure, count me in. While we were offloading the wounded, I remembered
that there is a republican drug warehouse here near by and our corpsemen
have nothing besides aspirin and their enthusiasm.
- OK, go on, make a suggestion. We'll work on that and snatch the drugs
from the rag-heads. Otherwise addicts and marauders would bag them anyway.
- Attention please! - Chief of Staff spoke out.
The humming in the room stopped and everyone was now looking at the
- During yesterday, our brigade was participating in the following
assaults: central train station, hotel "Kavkaz" and here. Also, while
proceeding to locations of the brigade's detachments, several HQ Groups were
fired upon and became involved in short skirmishes. As a result, our brigade
has lost, - there was absolute silence in the room, - two KIA, private
Azarov - tank battalion, sergeant Harlapidi - engineering battalion. There
have been four wounded: Chief of Staff of the second battalion, senior
lieutenant Pahomenko, first battalion company commander lieutenant Krasnov,
Private Gusarov - recon company and private Larionov - communication
battalion. Also, we found a body of private Semeonov - engineering
battalion, who was earlier declared missing in action. The man died a
terrible death, - here San Sanych looked up, faced everybody in the room and
continued without the bulletin, - his was tortured, then nailed to the cross
and his penis cut off and placed into his mouth. Horrible image, I have to
tell you, gentlemen.
The room went buzzing. Officers, despite the presence of their COs and
the representative from Moscow were loudly and resentfully discussing death
of the soldier.
- Calm down, gentlemen, - Bilich resumed his speech after pausing for a
moment, - I'll continue, I am no less disturbed by this, but let us dedicate
our emotions and rancour to the enemy, right now, there is nothing we can do
about it. Next, first battalion captured a sniper, from his own words our
compatriot, from Novosibirsk. Captain Mironov was not able to bring him
over, from his words, the latter died from his wounds and heart condition.
And again the room went buzzing with noise, this time with approval.
Those, whose eyes I met, were nodding and winking to me, approving, as I was
the one who wasted the sniper. Someone from the back of the room declared:
"his guilty conscience killed him". Officers cackled with approval. The room
was scarcely lit, actually, only the table with the Com-brig, Chief of Staff
and Karpov was illuminated, the rest was all covered in darkness. That's why
those at the back were making all sorts of comments without the fear of
being recognised. Lucky bastards.
Again San Sanych had to call for order. Slowly the buzz settled. I
inwardly was watching the faces of our Com-brig and the Moscow major. If our
CO's lips were touched by a smile after the "conscience" remark, the
representative kept cheerless expression on his face with his thin lips,
displaying his negative impression of the matter. A rat is always a rat. It
would be interesting to know if he was ever a platoon leader or a company
commander. Or straight after the college he popped up on the HQ parquetry?
I've gone through all the necessary stages, neither was I ever elevated in
rank before the right time, kissing commanding asses along the way. That's
probably why I travelled all over our country's hot spots. I have no desire
for my son to serve in the military, although my father, my uncle, father in
law and myself went to the same damned military college. If I had ever
learnt English language, wouldn't have ended up in this shithole.
Now San Sanych was telling us about our future objective, which Karpov
brought with him. The latter was erupting with self-importance; it seemed
all this was his idea and we owe him everything. The officers were listening
carefully, quietly exchanging their comments at times.
Then Karpov made his speech:
- Gentlemen! Our Allied Force Head Quarters has set up an honourable
task for you: amongst the first troops, you are to spearhead the attack on
the lair of the savage and then destroy him. The Commander in Chief himself
is keeping this operation under his control. You have proven yourselves in
the past battles and therefore, as the Commander's representative, I am
confident that the Siberians will handle their challenge with honour.
And more of that boring rant, in the worst traditions of the soviet
cinematography. If he thought his listeners would explode applauding and
give him standing ovations, he was dead wrong. There was nothing in the room
besides quiet chuckles and calm remarks. Then someone from the back clearly
and loudly yelled out "Go to hell". From the construction of the phrase I
figured who that was. Only one person in the room could express himself like
that - our tank battalion commander, Mazur Sergei Mihailovich. When we came
here, we had forty-two tanks T-72, now we have twenty-six. In ten days we
have lost sixteen tanks, mostly with their crews. That's why major Mazur had
the right to send all smarty-pants from Moscow the farthest and most often.
Everyone was waiting for the response. It came swiftly:
- Who said that? I suppose it's not a smart and honourable officer and
unlikely that he would come out and say it to my face.
But Mazur rose, and pushing away officers in their chairs, came up to
- I said that, so what are you going to do? Because of fucks like you I
have lost forty-eight men and God knows how many more I will lose because of
your hallucinations. Why won't the air force and artillery beat the crap out
of this damned square with all that's still there? And the grunts would
block the approaches and take out everyone who would try to sneak off.
That's all. There won't be as many soldiers' blood spilt though and we'd
have to spend more time.
Now everyone was watching Karpov. He was obviously confused:
- The problem is that the whole world is watching what is happening
here. All major news agencies and television stations have been registered
at the Head Quarters. If we use air force and artillery on a square of this
kind, the world community might not take it well. As you correctly mentioned
that it would take more time, but our government needs this conflict to stop
as soon as possible. Local opposition, which is on our side, would also be
against using air force and artillery to solve this problem. Maybe somebody
would wish to surrender? Moreover, we had received authentic information
that a group of well-known human rights activists headed by the Duma
politician Krylov is in one of the Dudaev's basements. Krylov is the
guarantor of Dudaev's personal safety. As a result of a massive air strike
they might get hurt.
- Screw them!
- I'll become an artillery spotter, so that the lads wouldn't miss!
- Hang the bitch!
The well-known human rights activist Krylov was called many
unflattering names. This madhouse would've gone on for a while, if the
Com-brig hadn't barked:
- That's enough! Please comment only on the subject. Orders are not to
be discussed - they are to be carried out. Other details like air and
artillery support, time frames and interactions with other units would be
discussed later on. I am listening. Please note that the hotel must be taken
within the next three days. Any suggestions?
I raised my hand.
- May I? Comrade Colonel, - the CO nodded to me and I went on, - If we
are to face an assault like that it is possible to expect that we will take
more casualties. Our wounded, however, are cramped in the sickbay as it is.
We are also running out of medicaments. Therefore, I suggest the following:
tomorrow, with the strength of the third battalion, support of the recon
company and chemical defence company we would break away to the "North"
airport and medivac all our wounded out of here. Then, in our immediate
proximity, we have the republican medical warehouse. Medicaments definitely
wouldn't hurt to have at this stage.
- This warehouse is for the local population only! - The moron moscvich
gave off a remark. - We must never do that, it would set the locals against
- Keep quiet, major, - cut him off Com-brig, - we've already given you
an opportunity to speak up. This war has already set them against us. There
is no way back. Mironov, continue.
- I'm pretty much done here. If my plan is approved, I offer to
personally head the convoy. Other than that we have to notify the battalions
so that they ship their wounded over at the HQ as early as possible. We
should be under way at about 9.30 and if everything goes according to my
plan, we could be back by about 17.00, leaving us enough time to start on
the medical warehouse.
- What about the hotel "Kavkaz" and the Square?
- I suggest, that during evacuation of the wounded, myself, or someone
else, would contact our front command office and discuss all available
options. If somebody is willing to take over the train station from us, the
first and second battalions could easily bust the rag-heads out of the
hotel. We can also give them the third battalion for support and clean up
operations. If we could also move the self-propelled howitzers a bit closer,
we might be able to complete the task within the previously mentioned time
frame. Only if our friends from the "North" don't shell us again, as it has
happened many times before, - I couldn't help myself and again kicked the HQ
The discussion of all "for" and "against" arguments of my plan took a
while after that. In about half an hour, our CO approved it overall. He made
a decision to personally head the convoy to the "North". He was also taking
several officers with him: myself with Ryzhov, recon CO, medical CO, third
battalion CO and Supplies XO. After brief calculation, it turned out we had
one hundred and twenty-two wounded to transfer, including all from the
battalions. Many of them refused to medivac. It's strange though, for them
this war was over, they didn't chicken out or self-inflict their wounds,
many of them were even about to be awarded medals, some could be discharged
before their term after this. But even the badly wounded refused to be
shipped out. Their COs yelled at them, some ordering, some trying to
convince them to go.
A lot of grunts were broken down crying, like they were unjustly
punished or something. A few didn't want to go because of the soldiers'
brotherhood, the real one not the imaginary kind. Some were frankly saying
that their thirst for blood isn't quenched yet for their fallen comrades.
Looking at their faces and their madly blazing eyes, you begin to understand
that these men could easily give up their own lives for their comrades. No
looking back, no bargaining with death or enemy, just stand in the path
between the bullet and his comrade without making demands for rewards or
medals. I asked myself a question that I haven't yet been able to answer,
maybe that's what this superior spirit of the Russian Soldier is, that no
army could ever break? Despite the fact, that every government in Russia
hated and dreaded its own army, trying tirelessly to break its backbone,
something that no enemy could ever do. But the Russian mahor, regardless of
his superiors' scams, has always sunk his teeth into his enemy's throat, in
spite of his furious resistance, avenging the deaths of his brothers,
himself died but killing his foe. The death of one would cause desire for
vengeance in the others and this would go on to the last soldier. The
government, knowing this phenomena, periodically makes new opponents,
because when the obvious enemies are dead, you, having tasted their blood,
can't stop any more and start looking back.
And if you did look back, you'd understand, my reader, that while you
were fighting here, at someone's obscure order, life in your country calmly
went on. Somebody even made a little fortune from this war, someone else
transferred money overseas. But your comrade, whose mutilated body you were
dragging out of the killing zone, under fire, yourself soaking in blood and
sweat, he now receives a pension from the government, for both his legs that
he lost out there, 300 rubles.
When after the third toast, he'll grab your hand and, looking into your
eyes, ask you in breaking voice: "why the hell did you pull me out of there,
why?" You will feel sick and ashamed that you saved his life. This very act,
that you were so proud of and maybe even rewarded, - will be the most
shameful and bitter act of your life.
Because your government sent you into this butchery and then, chucked
you out, the still living ones as well as all the dead. It has bedamned and
forgotten you. There was nothing there. All this was your paranoid
hallucination caused by the posttraumatic syndrome and multiple concussions.
But don't you worry. We'll fix you up in the mental home in about five
years, come on in. Whatever remains of the army, we'll disperse and
downsize, so that they don't tell anybody anything and debate our actions.
Same as witnesses after a crime, they'll remove the military after each of
their "salvaging operations". Like they did after Afghanistan, Germany, and
so on. Because they knew for sure, the Army can turn around and see that the
real enemy is right here in Moscow.
Thus, when they throw you out or lock in a God forsaken garrison, you'd
look back at your life and realise that the brightest, most memorable
moments and impressions, the taste and price of life you experienced back
there at some war. Your whole life will be now divided in two parts:
"before" and "after" that war.
Here you will be put before the choice, the infinite Russian question:
"what do I do now?"
You can try and live you life like everyone else, but you know that you
won't get far. You can try and enter the police force. By the way, they are
not ecstatic to see us there, they say we are all psychos. We can become
contract killers, our familiar business and the money's good too. To kill,
not as many people, not for some principles or vengeance but for money.
Would you do it? Does it make you sick? Some go for it.
There is a third path however - mercenary. It's true though you'd be
fighting side by side with those you were shooting at not so long ago, but
that's OK. Money doesn't smell and who knows, you might even like it and
take vengeance on the locals for your fallen friend who used to be your
All our wounded grunts knew it only too well. Some knew; some sensed it
with their skins that all this is what a man lives for, and if they leave
now, they would never again experience it. That's why they hung in to every
opportunity to stay. To some their COs plainly lied, telling them that they
are only going out there to accompany the column and would then come back
here again. Some of them believed it while others wanted to believe, hoping
that the convoy won't be able to break out and would have to return. Some
grunts anticipated that before the medivac they would, for one last time,
fight and send a few more true believers to see their Allah for themselves.
They do like squalling "Allah akbar, Allah akbar", - so what? We too
know that he's "akbar", but they, for some reason, don't rush to meet him.
That's no good. Moreover, they are promised a heaven for the holy war with
the kafirs. Therefore, we are actually doing them a favour, sending them to
paradise, but they are resisting it like blind puppies.
This night at the HQ was pretty much sleepless. All of us, Yurka,
myself, Chief of Staff, recon CO and other officers were working on the
details for the medivac convoy. We talked to all the neighbouring units,
arranging the safe passage through their territory and interaction in case
of an ambush. Mechanics were busy getting their vehicles ready for the
transit and gunsmiths tried to adjust BMP-3s. There was enough work to go
around for everybody.
When all arrangements were made and all questions answered, only the HQ
officers were left in the room. Now the head of the Operational Department
initiated the meeting. We now were discussing our options for the Minutka
Square complex assault. At first we said everything we had on our minds
about the Allied Command and Moscow smart asses, but gradually we cooled
down and the meeting went along a calm path.
All of us came to the conclusion, that a head-on assault of the square
would be a sure suicide. But first, we had to take the bridge over the
Sunzha River overlooking the square. There, marching our men under the
deadly close range fire, we could lose them all. This bridge was right in
our path and could not possibly be avoided, unless we took a detour over
half of the city.
Suddenly, chief of the guards barged into the room.
- Comrade Lieutenant Colonel, - he started anxiously, addressing our
Chief of Staff, - the Moscow rep just left.
- What? - San Sanych couldn't grasp it at first.
- Got on to his BRDM, said that he was called in and left.
- About fifteen minutes ago. I called him on the radio, he says that he
must be at the "North" before the sunrise.
- What a moron? He'll die himself and lose his men. He should've been
riding with the convoy tomorrow morning. Idiot, nutcase, - the head of the
operational department, major Ozerov was furious.
We all knew too well what that meant - riding alone, in the dark,
through a besieged town on a light armoured APC. The end result is almost
always same - be captured by the rag-heads or catch a bullet from your own.
Every soldier knew that, not mentioning the officers. It can't be that this
screwed in the head even considered that his rank would save him!
Martial law in Grozny was in full swing, which meant that sometimes we
couldn't even medivac our worst wounded to the better-equipped hospital at
And now this bonehead, this pimple on our asses, endangering the lives
of the grunts escorting him, just vanished into the night.
Immediately we called on the "North" and told them about their
knucklehead. It's likely he did it on impulse, trying to get to the Command
HQ before any news from here could reach them, and report that we dared to
openly debate orders of our superiors. He actually had the poor Semeonov's
body with him too. There is just no peace for him. Forgive us, private.
In the "North" they all went nuts. I can only imagine - an officer has
gone missing. An officer, who knew about, maybe only parts of, but still,
plans of the General Command. Moreover, the allied HQ staff member. Looks
like Karpov actually knew quite a bit, because a search party was organised
to look for him in the middle of the night. The radio traffic was red hot.
All detachments were reporting that the BRDM with the rep has not yet passed
through their roadblocks. Down here, we were prepared to face the music of
future allegations that we deliberately sent him away in the middle of the
night. Thus, instead of catching at least a tiny bit of sleep, we were busy
making up reports that we were never here and there or never did this and
that, and all that bullshit. God forbid for you to be accused of sabotage
towards your superiors. You can make a wooden souvenir out of your opponent,
but don't you dare giving looks to your COs. Well, there are many morons for
us to face in this life. Although, we do, feel petty for the bastard. He's
our blood, Russian. So could the grunts in his escort, get hurt for nothing.
For some reason everyone was convinced that, if the units along his route
keep silent, he is a goner. Probably a captive now, in the rag-heads' hands.
God, let him be captured dead, otherwise, a lot of our plans would have to
Sometime about eight in the morning we received information that the
BRDM with Karpov drove into one of the OMON roadblocks that was set up right
before the dusk. As we have predicted he tried to wave his rank into their
faces. The OMON lads, of coarse, didn't give a shit about some General
Command HQ together with their major Karpov. At first, they really mistook
him for a spy. For the rest of the night they kept kicking the crap out of
him and the grunts. Before the sunrise they put him before the firing squad
a few times, hoping he makes a confession. A couple of times they even fired
a few shots over his head. In the morning everything became clear. Airborne
fellows arrived, threw a few punches around for their grunts, picked up
knocked out Karpov and the remains of Semeonov's body and left for the
"North". Karpov went back to Mozdok with the first available flight and from
there probably to Moscow. It's likely he'll be awarded a medal of some sort
and later would be, on TV or in his memoirs, recounting how he, alone, rode
through half of the whole Chechnya, or something like that. Well, good luck
At 8.00 in the morning we began loading our wounded onto cars and
lining up the convoy. Earlier, clashing along the way, armoured vehicles
from the first and second battalions broke through to us with their dead and
wounded. Since there was not enough room in the yard for everyone, only the
worst ones were loaded up there. The rest, who were relatively OK: in clear
mind, were squashed into armoured trucks using stretchers, crutches and
whatever else could be utilised. All who could fire weapons rode on top of
APCs. Everyone knew well, that those inside armoured carriers would
inevitably die in case of a direct grenade hit or a mine explosion. Thus,
responsibility for them rested heavily on shoulders of those riding atop of
the "armour". The convoy turned out bigger than expected. In all:
fifteen APCs. Wheeled trucks were dropped in favour of the armoured APCs
since even a rifle bullet could easily penetrate their cabs, not mentioning
cumulative grenades and mines.
Luckily (or may be not), a heavy fog came down on the city. The winter
here sucks. It's cold but there is no snow; the mud is not even mud, but
rather a thick layer of muck that just swallows your boots. To free them you
have to apply loads of pressure and they come out with huge pieces of filthy
sludge on them. Vehicles had the same problem. What will it be like here in
spring? During the night, surface has been covered with a little crust of
ice and thus, we thought we could try and slip away quietly and quickly,
using the fog and frozen soil. Comms operators radioed every one of our
neighbours and the "North" that our convoy is about to leave.
One paradox was that all army units, regardless of the kind, have been
using the same radio frequencies and call signs that they did when they came
into Grozny. All of which meant that if you try to scan the radio traffic
within the range of 3 to 30 MHz, during the day, you could easily find out
where each unit is located and what exactly it is doing there. Moreover you
would know the names of the unit's leader, radio operator and all sorts of
other useful and not so useful information. By the way, our opponents were
not much smarter, keeping their frequencies and call signs unchanged for
weeks at a time. Well, we kind of, matched each other over there. Services
of the radio traffic interception and disinformation of both sides were on
top at all times. However, chechens had one unquestionable advantage - they
could speak Russian and therefore deceive us; we, on the other hand, could
not speak Chechen and thus were helpless trying to fool them.
More often than not, during clashes as well as during the breaks
between them, aborigines, having set up radio contact with our units, tried
to make propaganda conversations and of coarse threats. Since the first
clashes they started calling us "dogs". Another example would be
the Train Station assault. Back then, "spooks" fooled our
neighbouring artillery regiment, and the lads, thinking they had spoken to
us, for about 30 minutes, were thoroughly shelling us. Unfortunately these
cases were not unique. With time, through the system of codes and passwords,
we slowly stopped walking into chechen traps. After many of our men have
already been killed or injured. And no matter what, our brigade, and those
units that worked together with us, kept using old frequencies and call
signs, right to the very time of our withdrawal. Army stupidity. What can
you do? Unfortunately it was everywhere. Any suggestions from the lower
levels of the power pyramid were met with resentment.
Considering all this, we knew for sure, that our convoy's departure was
not only known to the General Command in the "North", but also
wasn't a secret to half of the rebels in town. Nevertheless, even if it was
a probable suicide, we stood by our decision. Without the proper medical
attention, men could simply die out here; moreover, they tied everybody
else's hands with their presence. They have become a burden and an extra
target. Besides, considering our next objective, we had to free up room for
future casualties. Thus, after a short hesitation, we turned our faiths over
to the good fortune and started our journey. Our path lied along the streets
of a demolished city that, with its ruins, rather depicted the old
chronicles of Stalingrad half a century ago. Death watched us from every
basement and every window. A sniper could be hiding in there or an RPG
launcher. He could've gone to the same military college as us. Or may be
fought with us side-by-side in Afghanistan, Angola or here in one of our
country's hot spots.
According to the well-developed tactics, the first and the last
vehicles in the convoy are destroyed first. Then, the rest of the column is
methodically eliminated. Reliable tactics. Very few ever escape.
- Let's move! - The instruction came from our Com-brig. He rode on the
Recon guys were riding on their two carriers in front of the convoy.
For ten minutes everything was fine. In a couple of days after we arrived in
Grozny, our General Command ordered us to clearly mark our vehicles. For
example, our cars had letter "S" painted on their sides, meaning
Sebirian Military District.
A bitter taste suddenly appeared in my mouth, although, there was no
nervous rush as yet. That will come later. I knew that, all of us did. We
all experienced the same feelings all over again. Suddenly a popular song
motive played in my mind: "I want so much to crash into this
town!" Yep, that's right, I really do want that. Or better crash into
Mozdok, where our General Command is, which in turn, was heading our
directional command. Nobody really knew why the hell we needed them in the
first place. They always wanted to control separate detachments, over their
COs' heads, which always ended up badly for the latter.The most interesting
part was that they, in Mozdok, enjoyed the same allowances as we had over
here. There weren't many of them, but still, at least we earned them. For
instance, one day here counted as three and we'd get paid double time when
we came home; that's pretty much it. And you, my reader, thought that we
would be enjoying all the privileges of soldiers in a war zone. Yeah, right!
There is no war in Chechnya. All this is the fruit of your TV's rich
Although occupied by these thoughts, I didn't forget to constantly look
around. So much we've destroyed here and we'll destroy yet even more.
Demolishing is not the same as building. I carefully looked at my grunts'
faces. All covered in dust, burnt by local winds, parched by the gunpowder
from frequent shooting and grenade explosions. I noticed a grunt, sitting at
the back, in his burnt through tank crew uniform and patched up head. I
looked at him again more carefully this time. Wow, this guy is one hell of a
lucky bustard. He was a driver-mechanic with the surname of German or Jewish
origin - Goldstein.
We had people of all sorts of nationalities in our brigade including
even uzbeks and tadzhiks. This tanker was driving his tank through the
Grozny entrance and the infantry were taking cover behind it. Back then, no
one of the grunts knew that you must walk <i>in front</i> of the
tank and only then it will save you. Now they know. It was a very expensive
learning curve. Since they were entering the town at night, this guy was
driving in the position "on manoeuvre", sticking his head out of
the hatchway.God knows why some sniper didn't snatch him. Others they picked
on the fly, this one was just plain lucky. He was lucky again when a rocket
slammed into his tank's right side. Goldstein was propelled out of the tank
like a cork, about fifteen meters up high and landed on a tree branch. I
thought he was gone. But he's alive, only patched up a little meaning
everything else is intact. Probably had a bad concussion. I wouldn't worry:
They'll fix him up quickly in his historical homeland. I can remember when
the conscripts arrived six months ago, he was begging not to be assigned
anywhere to do with secrets*. If it weren't for the Army, he'd be with his
relatives by now. His parents have left already, but he was still finishing
up his graduate university diploma and didn't complete it in time. In any
case he'll be discharged now and would be treated like a human being for
* AD. Until recently, Jews in Russia (or anybody else) could be refused
travelling visa to leave the country if they served in the military units
that looked after classified technology. It was of particular importance to
Jews, rather that to any other nationality, as this was the time of their
mass migration to Israel. In this case, the man was drafted in the Army,
while his parents have already immigrated. Serving in the strategic forces,
for example, could've held him back in Russia for three or more years after
his discharge. End of comment. AD
That artist, who was stuck with the second battalion, is also here with
us, riding on the fifth carrier. He came over with the wounded Chief of
Staff and their three injured grunts. Some snappy fellow he turned out to
be. Everyone expected him to be untouchable and star-like, but he is
actually an easygoing chap, having been stuck in the basement for three
days, under constant fire and counterattacks, according to the witnesses, he
didn't hide at all. He acted like a real man, even attending to the wounded.
They didn't give him a weapon though - he's pretty shortsighted, God forbid
for him to get hurt. Other than that, first class fellow. When the rag-heads
offered the battalion to surrender, the grunts told them that Shevchuk was
with them. The "spooks" didn't believe it at first. The grunts let
them listen to him on the radio and chechens offered to let him out, even
guaranteed his safe passage. He refused though. He also promised (and soon
we found out that he actually kept his promise) to send wounded grunts to a
hospital in Germany. Not only from our brigade but others too, paying for
that from his own pocket and his friends'. He was purchasing them wheel
chairs and artificial limbs without the usual hype. There was no reporters
or news conferences. He organised everything nicely and quietly, like a man.
The recon guys radioed that they were fired upon and are now full time
engaged in a skirmish. Estimated opponents' force - about 20 guns. Nobody
used "Shmels" so far, only personal launchers and rifles.
We made our decision - press forward. Because of the fog we couldn't
see our enemy, they too can't see us for sure, thus firing pretty much
blindly. The Com-brig ordered to put up the smoke covers and we added black
smoke to the fog, just like crude oil in a milk container.
Coming close, our trucks fired their cannons at the reported positions.
Then BMP-3s opened up from their machineguns. Finally, we too, like in a
well-schooled orchestra, lined up with our rifles and grenades. Great
panorama, I'd tell you. From the thick black cloud of smoke, about a
kilometre wide, the spirts of tracers were gushing everywhere, grenades were
flying, leaving smoking tails behind them. A scene, that could be worthy of
an artist's effort. Emotions were running hight too. We couldn't know if our
path was clear - may be a wall along the way collapsed by itself or somebody
helped it. Or may be an antitank mine is hidden somewhere in the piles of
trash. But there was no fear, in my mind or in the eyes of the grunts that
surrounded me here. We all knew that if we fail, our wounded comrades would
die. Our decision was to go to the end: to the death or victory.
So far we were definitely lucky, the engines roared on high revs,
adding their semi-processed fuel exhausts to the thick smoke cover. Although
the convoy stretched along a wide area, Com-brig decided not to break it
down into small mobile units but still carry on as one column.
Going past this neighbourhood, we kept our speed as high as we could
squeeze out of our darling APCs. Finally we cleared it, surprisingly enough,
without any friendly fire accidents. Maybe the rag-heads retreated or for
some other reason, but nobody was shooting at us any more or chasing us. But
all of us knew that it was still too early to relax. We had to keep going
Recognisance party ahead of us, radioed in that they reached first of
our neighbouring roadblocks. That's better. Now the airborne units will walk
us through their territory. They are OK soldiers, but not persistent enough
and too cocky. They can't tenaciously assault the same target for a long
time. They push furiously at first, but gradually, run out of steam. They
act well as a supporting force, but on their own, of not much use. They have
been trained to storm a structure, destroy it and get out of there. They are
not prepared for these long and backbreaking battles. But our mahra is a
different thing all together. In excruciating heat, rain or snowstorm, we'll
carry on anywhere: in the arctic, deserts or swamps. We'll die but complete
On the roadblock, airborne guys were waving us and smiled, showing
their teeth on the same parched faces as ours. It was a delight to see that
we are not alone here in this hostile land.
Their com-bat promised to send a party to sweep the area where we were
In case they'd find spooks there, he'll register them as his kills, we,
in turn, would write them down as ours, indicating the approximate number of
the enemy infantry destroyed. Some funny guy at the "North"
managed to calculate how many of the enemy we have knocked down here in
Chechnya. Turned out that during the 10 days of fighting we have wiped out
the entire Chechen population twice around. It's strange, it's only been 10
days, but seems like not less than six months. If you believe reports of the
Red Army commanders during the Second World War, the army of the Wermacht
was destroyed about 100 times. As for us, we don't have to free half of
Europe this time, but according to the reports we are ahead of any army.
Thus, my reader, listening to the news bulletins, multiply our losses by
three and divide enemy losses by two, then, you'd have a more or less clear
picture of what is going on.
The airborne lads tried to offload their wounded onto us, but we could
hardly squeeze our own asses on the "armour". Inside the vehicles
our own wounded were piled up like logs. If they wanted to come with us, no
problem, but they'd have to use their own trucks and their own escort. We
won't be waiting for them either as every second is counting. What are you
saying? We're bustards? Fine, we're bustards, but you still medivac your own
men. We have neither the time nor desire to argue with you. We understand
you perfectly. If we start arguing now, you might even convince us or
prepare your own cars. You should've thought about it beforehand. You had
all night for that. Cheers men, good-bye. No, don't bother trying. Where did
you send us? OK, stand still, we'll be coming back, talk to you then.
We watched our Com-brig talking to their com-bat. Of coarse we couldn't
hear anything, but we could observe the gestures they were using in their
conversation, thus reading who sent who and where. When they were done
myself and the grunts cackled simultaneously. But no one dared to yell
anything upsetting or make a gesture of that kind. We understood what
position they were in, but your wounded you medivac yourself. We're all a
bit foxy, like the Jews, enjoy solving our problems with somebody else's
help, but not the problems of this magnitude.
We cleared the airborne zone of responsibility and now entered the area
where for about ten blocks we would be moving along the zone for which the
spooks were responsible. And they were obviously controlling it. OK,
mutherfuckers, we'll medivac our wounded and take care of you. Let's
concentrate on the medivac for now. I raise my hand and the grunts start
carefully watching surrounding us rubble. Talking, screaming or instructing
makes no point - the roar, fumes and dust from the carriers in front of us
are making any attempt bound for failure. If you open your mouth trying,
it'll be crammed with turd. Another beauty of riding atop of APC is that it
is shaking violently as it moves and if you relax your jaws for a second you
can lose your teeth or bite your own tongue off. There was a gag that some
dumb ass, not from our garrison of coarse, bit his tongue's tip off like
that, but the corpsemen sewed it back. He was discharged afterwards. I've
heard so many of these gags during my commission that I can write a book
now. Especially I like that fact that nothing ever happens in our garrison,
but our neighbours - are a constant mess. But they are of the exact same
opinion about us.
The grunt next to me shouted something, pointing his finger at the top
floor of a building near by and firing his rifle in that direction. My
reflexes kicked in at once. My rifle let off a few bursts before I
consciously stopped and actually looked there. A pair of binoculars that lay
on the window frame was blasted to pieces. If you want to live, you shoot
first and then think and look. Everyone finds out this formula after his
first gunfight. I'm yelling out and waving to stop the shooting. Gradually
it fades out. I'm not angry at the grunt. In our line of business it's
better to overcook than undercook.
The carriers are speeding forward without slowing down. Recon party
radios in to report they are again taking fire. This time from three
directions simultaneously. Now, they are waiting for our approach, as they
can't handle the clash on their own. Com-brig called the neighbours for
assistance to try and hammer the rag-heads in the rear, meanwhile we are
speeding ahead to help out our scouts.
The last APCs in line have retarded a bit so that in case of an ambush
we don't become completely trapped. As we approached the intersection, the
avenue, where our recon party took their turn, was barricaded with bricks,
two neighbouring streets were also blocked, and thus we are either to break
through or to retreat. If we do decide to retreat, there is no insurance
that we wouldn't walk into another trap. Com-brig has made his decision:
break through. Ryzhov and myself both completely upheld his choice.
Those who could fire weapons leapt off the "armour" and the
carriers rolled back covering us. First, we wanted to push the spooks inside
the block and then, under fire, try and dismantle the barricade. Hiding
behind the piles of trash we shot back. Both sides exchanged fire furiously.
Suddenly a grenade exploded somewhere close to me - pieces of a blasted
grunt flipped into the air and landed 5 meters away from me with dull sound.
In a couple of seconds another soldier died the same terrible death. In the
heat of the gunfight I had no time to look who that was. Next to the second
body, three other grunts were whirling on the asphalt, screaming with pain
and pressing fingers against their wounds. Their coats were soaking in
blood. We thought at first that somebody was using a launcher, but then
another grunt shifted a brick and noticed an F-1 grenade, lying under a pile
of rubbish without its safety pin. Now everything was clear.
Smart sons of bitches the spooks turned out to be. They cleverly chose
the spot for their ambush and also considered that we would dismount and
confront them. Our future positions, imposed by them, they booby-trapped
with hand-grenades. In a gunfight you have to move around a lot: tumble,
spin and hide behind the rubble. That's where they placed these nice toys -
F-1 grenades without safety pins. You shift the brick on top of it, its
guard lever flies off and here you go, in 6 seconds it bursts. Shrapnel
cover an area of about 200 meters. No one mine will have the same effect.
Now we had to solve this dilemma -either pull back or try and
counterattack to bust the rag-heads out of the apartment block. Not much
choice. Neighbours radioed that they are on their way and called for air
support. That is exactly what we don't want. A soldier has many enemies at
war, but one of the biggest is his own air force. Doubtfully they'll ever
get the rag-heads, but to drop a few bombs on their own positions is a done
deal. That's why we asked our rushing reinforcements to call off the
"sky raiders". They'll stuff it up anyway. Instructions to storm
the building were passed along the chain. We also told the "boxes"
to open up from everything they have, keep going like that for 10 minutes
and then cease fire and wait for further instructions.
Every grunt and officer has his personal first aid kit, which contains
an ordinary set of medications, like painkillers, anti-radiation pills and
the likes. There are also drinking water tablets that can be used in any
water except the seawater. Drop it into a puddle if you like, it'll roil for
a second or two and you can drink it now without fear of catching some
disease. It'd have a chlorine stench though.
Every detachment has so called anti-fear tablets. When soldiers are
dog-tired and can't move their feet any more, not mentioning attacks, their
will is paralysed. Then their CO gives the order to hand out these tablets.
The grunts eat them, rest for a while and spring to their feet. No one knows
where the strength comes from and where the fear goes.
Now we didn't have those tablets as well as the need for them. After a
few gunfights, where the spooks were prevailing in every aspect and every
little thing we gained was paid for dearly in efforts and losses, now men
were experienced and confident and the rag-heads were getting a decent
response for once. They no longer bullied carelessly, doped and squalling
something about their Allah. First time it's actually quite scary, charging
like spellbound, unafraid of bullets.
At last our carriers opened up. Cracking salvos of their cannons and
machineguns, at first, muffled short barking bursts of BMP-3s, but they
caught up quickly with the old well-proven two-s. We also didn't fall behind
with our rifles and launchers.
APCs hit hard for ten minutes and then stopped as was agreed. The high
pitched ding from the shooting was still in our ears, but now we had to
attack. Our opponents had a lot more problems with their sense of dimension.
Our shells were bursting in their tight nests, causing them to go crazy with
terror. They were also still in awe from the air strikes. Now was the right
time for the final move.
This time nobody raised the grunts off the ground with his own example,
like it used to be here during the first days. Every one of them sprung up
by himself, some with the ancient "hoorah" other just yelling out
from fear and excess of adrenalin, all were running ahead like one. When you
plunge into attack like this, something medieval wakes up inside you. It
seems you are watching yourself from aside, observing the gunfight, noticing
every little thing. May be the common grudge and fear at this moment bear
this collective ability?
While we were clearing the open space of about 100 meters, we were met
with rare and disorganised gunfire. No one of our men was hit, but the
grunts, on the run and from the waist, were discharging long bursts at the
broken windows where the deadly gush of lead was coming from.
At last we crash into the doorway of this once apartment block, others
are storming the remaining four entrances of the "khruschevka".
Human reflexes are such that you always notice what's on your
right-hand side first and then move to the left. Spooks made a good use of
this fact and when we barged into a block they always stood to the left of
the entrance. While we were automatically checking out everything on the
right-hand side, they had a few seconds to shoot us in the back. Some time
has passed before we learnt to toss a hand-grenade before walking inside and
looked first to the left of the doorway.
The sunlight started to break through the fog but here inside the
building it was still dark from the shooting. Dust, mixed with gunpowder and
some other chemicals hung in the air, abstracting the view.
Together with some fifteen grunts we ran into the block. I glanced at
the grunts with my side-vision. Looks like there are no cowards amongst
them. All experienced. Two flats on the first floor, meaning that we should
expect the same structure further up. Three grunts took guard on the
staircase between the first and second floors, covering us from possible
attacks from above. The rest are fetching safety pins from their
hand-grenades. "Ready". Nocking down the door, it's not even
locked but blasted by explosions, barely hanging off the frame. Our boots
ram it down completely this time. I yell out: "Let's go!!!"
We move out from the doorways, hiding behind the concrete walls. In
three flats, grenades detonated almost simultaneously, probably about eight
of them. My head feels like a church bell, smoke and dust is coming out of
the blasted doorways. Move, move and don't stop now. Checking left, now
right. Tonnes of dust in the air, can't see shit. Squeezing off two long
bursts from the waist. We don't need no prisoners, not enough food for
ourselves. Move! Move! Kitchen: nobody there; bathroom: the door is slightly
open, screw it, another two bursts from the waist, the bathtub could be a
nice hide from the shrapnel. I node to the grunt next to me, covering my
rear. He jerks the door open and I pull the trigger slowly moving my rifle's
barrel sidewards. It is convulsing in my arms like a living organism and
flushing the bathtub with a deadly flow. The smashed off pieces from the tub
are flipping in the air. Meanwhile other grunts are firing into next rooms
dark with dust and smoke. Built-in wardrobes and shelves are also checked
thoroughly. That's all with this two bedroom flat. Let's move on to the
The grunts guarding the staircase, indicate that they have just spotted
some movement in one of the second floor apartments. Other grunts come out
of their flats and join us. Those who guarded the staircase move up one more
floor. I don't have to give out any instructions here, every grunt knows his
manoeuvre too well. No need to yell at anybody. All of us work together like
a well-tuned mechanism. Everyone covers everybody else's back.
We repeat the same process on the second floor. We barge into the room
tripping on a dead body ripped apart from a grenade explosion. That one's
cooked. Moving along. There's nobody here. Three more levels to go, rooftop
and the basement. Move! Move!
Grunts report they discovered two more stiffs in the neighbouring flat.
Screw them. Moving along. I look at my watch: it took us seven minutes to
check two floors, we have to speed this whole thing up.
On the third floor, when we knock the doors down, somebody inside the
flat yells out without accent: "Don't shoot, don't shoot!" I raise
my fist. Grunts hold back. I shout: "Come out slowly, hands behind your
Wauling, a filthy chap is coming out, bristling with hand-grenades and
a chechen knife (dagger welded together with stiletto), looks Russian.
Smearing dirty tears on his face and weeping he's squalling that he was just
drafted, he's just an ordinary con and nothing else, never killed anyone of
ours. I notice some five personal dog-tags hanging around his neck. Earlier,
they were only given out to officers, now, since we arrived in Chechnya,
everyone gets a set. It looks like a little metal plate shaped like oval,
about five santimeters in length and three wide. Along its length the plate
is broken in two parts, upper part has "VS SSSR" stamped on it,
the lower one has a letter and a six-digit code. Every soldier has his own
code. The plate is cast from a stainless alloy. First they started using
these plates after an experimental rocket fell down onto some committee and
burnt it completely. At war every soldier wears it, jut like American GIs,
except they also have their names and blood type printed there.
I noticed that this "ordinary con" wore these dog-tags around
his neck. There were a lot of scumbags bumming around Chechnya, which were
surely due for jail time in Russia. Here they were like brothers to the
local bandits. As locals told us, to prove their loyalty they tortured
soldiers even worse than the chechens themselves. I grabbed him by the
dog-tag chains, coiled them onto my fist and twitched the shaking con
towards me. Grunts knew well what was going to follow. Some spooks collected
personal numbers of soldiers they have killed.
- What is this, asshole? - I asked him and kept pulling the chains.
- I found them, I swear. I didn't kill nobody. They forced me to, - he
I shoved my rifle in his chest and pulled the trigger. Bullets ripped
it open smearing my pants with his blood. The body jerked backwards, the
neck snapped but it was still hanging by the dog-tag chains. It seemed the
souls of the dead soldiers wouldn't let their murderer go free. Barrel still
stuck in the con's chest I asked the grunt next to me:
- Cut the chains, will you.
He stripped the knife from the dead con and sliced the chains with one
quick move. The no longer hanging body dropped to the ground with a thud.
Grunt reached his hand out with the dagger offering it to me. I shook my
head and he stashed it in his boot. I rose, put the dog-tags into one of my
pockets and gave an order:
- Get your hand-grenades ready and let's move.
Again explosions roared and we barged inside other flats. There we
found five more dead bodies. Without any further ado we squeezed off a few
bursts into each one of them just in case. One of the "deceased"
suddenly came alive and tried to draw his rifle - cross fire coming from
three directions simultaneously nearly chopped him to pieces.
All of a sudden we heard a grenade explosion and a rifle burst. We
quickly finished off checking the apartment and popped outside. The gunfight
there was in full swing. Rag-heads from the upper floors were attempting to
break through to downstairs. Three grunts were keeping them up there; two
more soldiers, covering the basement entrance, hustled up to help them. We
too quickly got into the skirmish. Here on the narrow staircases we were too
crowded. To add to the confusion, spooks started throwing hand-grenades
down. Huddled down here together we couldn't possibly hide from them. Thank
God, the morons threw them at the very moment they were pulling safety pins
out, thus giving us time to push them away onto the lower floors.
We also returned fire as best as we could. Two of the grunts were
blasting off grenades from their under-barrels, the other four spraying the
spooks from their rifles, keeping them at bay. Meanwhile something blew up
there with a terrible boom. Ceiling collapsed in one of the kitchens on the
third floor. Five grunts quickly dived into the breach and now the gunfight
shifted to the fourth level. Coming up, from the point blank range, we
wasted the rag-heads in the back. We were afraid of coarse to waist our own
grunts, but this time we were lucky. After the clean up, twelve more bodies
were left up on the fourth floor. Not bad at all, if according to the
Regulation the ratio should be one defender to three or four members of the
assaulting team. On the fifth floor nobody greeted us except for two dead
bodies. With caution with we came up the roof. There is nobody there too,
meaning that we are the first ones up here and have to help out other storm
groups in the neighbouring blocks. I split my men, myself choosing the block
Ryzhov went into. Walking on the roof we could here the gunfire in every
Carefully we are opening the hatchway. Judging from the noise, the
shootout is in between the first and second floors. We are starting the
clean up from the fifth floor down. Voices and gunfire are coming from the
two-bedroom flat, apparently the shooting comes from the inside. OK,
assholes, let's roll. Hand-grenades at stand-by, at the nod of my head, the
door is smashed open, we throw the grenades in and take cover. Burst; move,
move; one of the grunts stays here guarding the staircase, I turn left:
burst into an empty corner and burst dead ahead. The grunt on my right
already checked the right hand side discharging a burst into the right
corner. We finish off two wounded by the window. Next to them lies an RPG-7
rocket grenade launcher, fine toy. We take the launcher and the seven
remaining rounds for it with us.
Downstairs, the spooks apparently realised what happened and doubled
their efforts attempting to fight their way out of the trap. Our grunts on
the other side also figured that the help is near and pressed with renewed
energy. We came down to the forth floor. Shooting off the doors and tossing
in grenades. In two flats we discover a few more of the rag-heads' stiffs.
No idea whose job that was, someone else's or ours, but what does it matter
anyway. Move, move, downstairs, tempo, tempo. Hold on fellows, we're close.
The spooks disparately tried to move upstairs and blow us off. No way,
I'm yelling out:
- Yurka, stay down, I'll meet them up here.
We hear the treading and fire from the RPG and the under-barrels,
ducking behind the concrete to cover from shrapnel. One of the grunts
screams with pain. A shrapnel piece ricocheted in his arm. Two men stayed
behind to give him first aid. The remaining grunts and myself fire into the
dense blur of smoke and dust after the explosion. No one is shooting back.
- Slava, don't shoot, we're coming up.
- Let's move, boys, slowly. May be some son of a bitch is still there,
- I yell to my grunts.
We're slowly moving downstairs, ready to open up at even a slightest
suspicion of movement. On the staircase between the forth and the third
floors we stumble on the torn apart bodies of our resent foe. The BDUs on
some are still burning. Nostrils are tingling from the stench of parched
human flesh, cotton and something else, terribly stinky. I'm labouring not
to vomit. Suddenly, from the dark, grunts' faces are emerging from the
downstairs. We're all happy and hugging.
- Still alive, demon? - We couldn't get enough of each other, like
lovers after a long break-up.
- How did we bust the shitheads, ha? Hammered the crap out of them! -
Yurka was wound up. Despite the cold, everybody was steaming hot.
- I grabbed some scumbag back in there. Squalled he was just a con, but
had dog-tags dangling round his neck. Here they are, - I pulled a bunch of
dog-tags out of my pocket, - I sent him off to meet his victims.
- You did the right thing. They dug in well in here. With machinegun
and all. Not even one approach. But thanks to you
- OK, let's go. You owe me a drink. - I fetched a packet of cigarettes,
my home ones, "TU-134", the sniper's smokes were long gone. It's a
petty, they were really nice, - have some, the NATO threat.
Happily chatting this way, though still in the heat of the gunfight, we
walked out on the street. Following us, grunts helped my wounded lad out. He
walks by himself though, his arm patched tightly, meaning that he'll live.
Out here, the clash was also over. Apparently, the spooks retreated
from their other positions, realising that we would've taken care of them
too if they hadn't. The barricade was also nearly dismantled. From that
direction our neighbours were coming up.
- Slava, look. What the hell is that? - The approaching grunts had some
tanks, they wore like backpacks, carrying metal pipes in their hands
attached to the tanks by rubber hoses.
- I think it's flame-throwers. I've never seen them live, but heard
that some units got them off the emergency reserves and dragged them over
here. Probably a marvellous tool.
Meanwhile all our grunts left the building and the newly arrived
soldiers, with jokes, approached the basement windows and having tossed a
pair of hand-grenades in there first, started pouring from their
backpack-type flamethrowers, which these devices did turn out to be. Bravo.
Streams of flame, human hand sized and about 10 meters in length, widening
as they left the pipes were flowing into the basements. At once we felt the
stench of burnt kerosene and something else of the kind.
- First class gadget. I wish we had more of them. We'd smoke the snakes
out for sure. We should throw the idea at our commander to ask for them in
the "North". Since they are sending us to storm "The
Minutka", might as well give us these, - I said, watching with
admiration as grunts having finished off our building are preparing to fry
some other structure.
- I've heard, in Afghan, there was a flame-throwing tank, but turned
out useless in the mountains and was taken off the production line, - Yura
said climbing our APC.
- Such morons, ha? They could've figured that we'd have to take towns
at some stage instead of clashing in the mountains or in the open all the
time. Bloody Moskovites; what can you possibly get from them, except a urine
sample, and that one will be hopeless too, - I spewed and tried to settle
comfortably on top of the "armour".
- Attention! All ready?- Then the order came through, - Move! On the
As we set off, APC underneath me jerked sharply trying to shake us off
the "armour", but clinging to each other and to every extending
part on the APC's surface, we held on. Internal forces are lucky in that
respect: they have the BTR-80s. Very smooth piece of machinery, moving fast
and soft. We, on the other hand, have bulldozers.
As we approached the flame-throwers' roadblock, we again greeted each
The rest of the journey was pretty uneventful, although we were
prepared for any surprise. Now first outposts and roadblocks of the
"North" airport were coming into view along the way. Whole
regiment guarded the airport. When rumours came that spooks planned to
assault it, another airborne battalion was fetched to help the defences.
- One battle is over and another one begins, the longer and harder one
and more important too, - I said to Yura.
The mood was changing from the merry, since we came back all OK, to
more grim and serious. We had to attend the briefing with the High Command
representatives. The latter were itching to send us to our deaths.
- Regardless of the briefing's outcome I'll drink myself stupid
tonight, - my good mood was totally gone by now and I was grimly watching
the airport sentry. They have already managed to wash up and some even
changed into brand spanking new BDUs.
I looked at my blood-splattered pants, my filthy coat, burnt and even
twice shot through by shrapnel. In peace life, a first police patrol would
pick me up for sure dressed like this. A total tramp.
- I agree Slavian, we should get wasted today. Moreover, I owe you one,
- Yurka, on the contrary, was in a fabulous mood.
- Where are you planning to get the liqueur? From under the bench? - I
and Ryzhov, before the Grozny campaign, chipped in and bought three boxes of
Vodka as well as seven litres of pure ethanol that I swapped for a
camouflage set from the comms operators in commemoration of our old
friendship. Thus, I would be very surprised if he found alcohol in any other
- Where else? Spooks closed their stashes and our Voentorg never comes
out beyond the "North"
- Listen, near the field hospital, there is a Voentorg trading spot.
Let's try to get some beer down there (fallen off the truck of coarse). What
do you think? - Beer was a terrible temptation. Right now, right here, I
even imagined its tight, bubbly, cool flow streaming down my throat and
heavily bumping against my stomach walls on its way down. And I would drink
it right from the bottle, no glasses, hate them. May be it's my unfit family
upbringing, but I just like it like that and there is nothing I can do about
- Good idea. We've got about twenty minutes, while they are offloading
the wounded. The problem is if they actually have beer and if we've got
enough dough? - He said, dumping everything from his pockets, including the
useless here money and counted it.
- I've got some more, - said I, pulling out some crumpled paper nodes,
- get cigarettes too, preferably something nice.
- Like a rich life, don't you? - Ryzhov sneered.
- Yeah, rich life, sure. When right before your eyes people live like
moguls, - I looked at "the royal court" regiment's HQ with a sigh.
- Wait until we walk into the hospital with all its women, - Yurka was
clearly tormenting me.
- I'd either rape ten of them at once or put a bullet in my head.
The hospital was situated in the airport's left wing, in the
ex-restaurant building. Rumours had it that this restaurant used to belong
to some relative of Dudaev's. Along the way we met some doctors and actually
female nurses. At war, any woman is a goddess.It's not just about sexual
deprivation. Looking or simply talking to them you don't harden up as fast.
That thin wire that connects you back to the "normal" life doesn't
break as quickly. We have no women in our brigade, maybe that's probably why
we are so drawn to them. But first desire, of coarse, is purely sexual. Why
don't we have mobile brothels with us? In the past wars were gradual and
rigidly positioned. People had respect for their opponent. They had fine
moving canteens, mobile brothels, champagne and whites. How times have
changed? Not for the better, if you ask me, although, medical science is
definitely on top. So far none of the incoming wounded here has died.
- We're home! - Com-brig first leapt off his carrier.
Everybody else followed him, warming up their numb legs and bums.
Surgeons and nurses ran over and started offloading our wounded and dead.
The latter are to be placed in wooden and then in zinc coffins, soldered in,
meshed, to make it more comfortable to carry, and sent home to their parents
as "Cargo-200". With the coffins, parents will also receive death
notifications and thanking notes for their sons' wonderful upbringing.
That's about it. After the funerals they'll have commemorative salvo fired
into the air in their honour, with dummy rounds, by military college
students or young soldiers. Both types are potential candidates for the same
"elegant" burial in the nearest future. The God of War demands new
sacrifices and opposing sides supply them in full.
Then parents or wife of the dead soldier will be paid ten-year salary:
the whole five million rubles. During the next six-month they'll have
visitors and after that, as it is customary, they'll be left to themselves.
When mother or wife comes to the authorities for help (no matter which,
military or civilian), first, they'll nicely talk to her and then tell her
that there is no money or prospects for help at this stage. And if she
persists, they'd state the following: we, personally, did not send your son
(or husband) to this war. Go ask for help those who did and please do not
come here again because people who sent your son to his death must've
forgotten to allocate money for your pension, your licking roof, telephone
and so on. You can, my reader, complain all you want; there will be nothing
done. The power hungry would say about you: "This is that woman who
lost her son (or husband) in that war". That will be said jokingly, so
that you weep, my reader, and run away never to come back here again. Even
if they throw something at you for the New Years Eve or The Army Day. Now
think if it's worth sending your son into that butchery because of some sick
old Head Commander. Think well. By the way, during the Chechen campaign, he
had a grandson of the drafting age, but for some reason, I have never seen
him there, even on civilian visits.
Meanwhile our wounded were being offloaded and carried into the
hospital rooms. We followed them. Nobody was paying any attention to us.
Ryzhov and I were staring at the women. No point in flirting anyway, they
have already been shared and allocated long ago. Our appearances also didn't
help. We were searching for the semi-legal Voentorg trading spot or any
local crook that can sell us liqueur and cigarettes. History of the war
shows that there have always been some niggling criminals who make money
reselling small wanted goods. Nothing really law-breaking, on the contrary,
they are doing more good supplying men with those little things from the
"normal" life that they are deprived of. The problem is money. For
some it's war, for others it's their darling mother. May be that is what it
should be? No, I don't think so; my upbringing and poor life experience
wouldn't let me do this.
We were hanging around the hospital asking grunts where we could get
some beer and cigarettes. But since this was a medivac hospital, as a rule,
soldiers never stayed here for longer than a day and thus knew nothing. But
suddenly we noticed a corporal, with a mug, wider than two of ours put
together. He wore new camouflage fatigues and standing next to the window
was leisurely puffing a ciggi. That mug expressed vanity and
self-indulgence. It seemed nothing around concerned him. He did not look
wounded at all.
I pushed Yurka in the ribs when he was flat out staring at a nurse
rushing to attend to some matter and fortunate enough to walk past us.
Judging by the hungry expression on his face, he's already raped her about
ten times and kept going.
- OK, that's enough. We are here with a peacekeeping mission. Remember?
You better look at that panorama, - I showed him the mighty worrier, - I
think his body can be used to plug ten machinegun nests at the same time. It
seems he represents the whole might of Russia's armed forces. What do you
I deliberately talked in loud voice for the grunt to hear us. Yurka
read my plot and kept going.
- Yeah man. You're right. We lack lads like this one in the recon unit.
They need some kind of human shield. Or better yet in the storm group,
pulling wounded out of the killing zone.
The soldier slowly moved his eyes onto us without even turning his
head. We didn't wear any insignia, like many other officers. Snipers have
this bad habit of picking officers first. Some kind of sad hatred they have
for us. Well, everyone has his own thing and for them it's professional and
even well paid.
- Sonny, - politely and smoothly started Yura, - what would you say if
we invited you down for a visit, so that you, prick, could see the war for
yourself? Otherwise, you'll just come home with a metal thingy on your
chest, having actually never seen it.
All of this Yurka was telling quietly, thus passing surgeons didn't
even pay attention to us. Some fellow soldiers are standing here, chatting
peacefully, no trouble.
- Get stuffed, - the grunt mumbled leisurely without his head even
moving. There was so much scorn in his voice that it made me sick.
Momentarily the grudge inside me was alive. I know that in moments like this
I exercise very little control and can do a lot of stupid things, but the
thoughts come to me later.
- Turn around, scum, when a line officer is talking to you, and
apologise immediately, - I too tried to keep my voice down, but the words
were boiling inside. No one soldier ever dared to insult me, no matter what
state they were in. In my being a green lieutenant I had to calm down a
drunken sentry once. And here, this supply sergeant piece of shit dared to
offend two of us.
The fat skunk turned his head and jokingly stared at us in silence,
with his appearance obviously laughing at us. Both of us figured that words
here were useless and we had to act. There was a niche near by, where
hospital personnel kept their cleaning gear. From two sides simultaneously,
we fast picked up the young man under his arms and shoved him into the dark
and humid closet. At once I grabbed him by the throat to keep him from
screaming and Yurka thrust his rifle in the guy's belly and pressed it real
hard. Even in this meagre lighting we could see that the lad went pale. His
eyes were popping out and screams were bursting out of his throat, but I was
holding them tight in there, squeezing his throat stiffer, only allowing him
to breath. I leaned over to his ear and whispered:
- I will now let go my hand a little, if you, scumbag, promise to be a
good boy and give us your apologies quietly. Beer and cigarettes too, I'm
sure you've got some. If you agree, blink once, if not, I'll just strangle
you right here and my friend will shoot your balls off. I'm sure no one
would care, we'll write you off as a battle loss. And if you try to move a
muscle, we'll keep our promise with the neck and balls. Or we can load you
up on the truck and exchange with the rag-heads for beer and cigarettes.
Besides, you freak, we are offering you the same deal anyway. Get it,
asshole? - I squeezed his throat harder and Yurka pushed his AK a little
The grunt's eyelashes were flipping like butterflies near a light bulb:
- I'm sorry, please forgive me, sirs my mistake I promise won't happen
again, I'm giving you my word, - tears were falling down his face but I kept
my grip on his fat throat.
- What about the second part? - Asked Yurka, hinting at the beer and
- No problem, right away, - The soldier hustled up and reached his
hands somewhere behind his head and produced a six-pack of
"Holsten" and a pack of "LM" or as we called it -
At last, we let the punk breath freely. I slapped him leniently on his
cheek, pulled crumpled five thousand rubles from my pocket and shoved it in
the weeping grunt's hand:
- Do not ever be rude, young men, and maybe you'll even live through
all this. There is the money for your goods, so that you don't tell anybody
that we are thugs. By the way, lend us a few bags for the groceries, will
The grunt turned around and again in the dark started searching for
something in the buckets. Nice hide he's got here. Something banged inside
buckets, something metal, like a pistol. Is he really planning a trick? I
drew my rifle and pressed it hard against the junction of his scull and
backbone. There is pain spot there and if you hit it, a person can collapse
unconscious. In a moment Yurka too thrust his rifle against the man's
- Sonny, stop this, - I again spoke in a smooth voice, - or you,
scumbag, decided to die like a hero. If that's the case, then go ahead, try.
With my left hand I fetched my narrow stiletto and set it on his
throat. Cold blade, for some reason produced more result than my
Kalashnikov. Something metal banged in there again, he must've dropped it
back in the bucket. Removing the stiletto I jerked him towards me and
pressed the barrel under his chin. The grunt put his hands up, and his left
one he was holding a bag off some equipment. With my left hand I searched
behind his head and found a pistol. Wow! Makarov with a silencer! Bravo!
Probably swiped it from some wounded scout or a Special Forces guy. I
punched him in the nose with the pistol grip. He fell on the floor in a
rumpled heap. We left him there, picked up our bags and walked away.
Out on the street, the unloading was almost over and the Com-brig was
gathering up our officers to go to the briefing. We stashed the bags inside
our APC and told the driver that if we come back and they're gone he'll be
castrated and left out here to die. The grunt nodded and carried on
undressing passing women with his eyes. Walking behind our CO, we were
slowly puffing good cigarettes and discussing our arguments against the
head-on frontal assault of the bloody square.
- Let's do this: first - airforce, then artillery, tanks, rockets and
after they're all done, mahra goes in, what do you reckon? - Asked Yurka,
enjoying his cigarette and observing all the almost peaceful life around
- And better yet: napalm bombs, so that everything would burn alive and
loud disco music for the spooks to sacrifice their lives to Allah with happy
thoughts, - I was experiencing peace of mind and almost sexual satisfaction
from the surrounding atmosphere and my cigarette. How little do we actually
need? Good smoke, tranquillity and women walking past.
Suddenly, we saw an officer whose face we instantly recognised. We were
taking the airport together. His regiment was then left here to guard it.
- Yura, Slava, you're alive! What a delight! We've heard about your
deeds here and about Karpov too. We thought you guys wasted him, but all was
then cleared. He's surely an idiot. He is to receive The Order of Fortitude.
- So, you thought we killed the mother?
- No, not really, but here everybody knows he is a rat.
Yurka and I cackled loudly:
- Sasha, we saw him for the first time and gave him exactly that
nickname. Rat is rat. You better tell what the HQ has in store for the
Minutka Square and us.
- Fellows, listen to this: marines and some airborne units tried to
take it on the fly, then lost about thirty men and backed off. Now is your
- Get out of here!
- Yeah, that freaking peacemaker is there too. Radios to us all the
time with statements. Listen to the joke: he's up there, inside one of the
Dudaev's bunkers with his delegation committee and everybody has just
forgotten about them. No food, no water, no nothing. They start to wander
what to do. Suddenly he makes a suggestion: "Let's all convert to
Islam". His friends ask him: "Would it help?" He says:
"Not really, but we could make a soup out of the shreds!" -Sashka
We grinned at his joke and the news.
- Guys, I work here in supplies now, come on over at some stage. Now
I've got to run; somebody beat the shit out one of the grunts in the
With our jaws dropped from surprise about Sashka's new appointment, we
picked up our pace to catch up with the rest of our group. We cared not for
the hospital grunt's health. I bet his skull is fine. Nosebleed is nothing,
probably tripped over something in the dark. Could anybody possibly punch
such a wonderful young lad? I don't think so. As for the officers: he
must've dreamt them while splayed out dazed. With his excess weight and high
blood pressure it all could've been much worse. He must go on a strict diet,
dear doctors. Or better yet, give him to us for a week. You won't recognise
the fellow then.
Some officer came out and said that General Rolin is busy at this stage
and will be free to meet with us in about ten to twenty minutes. They are on
the telephone with the Defence Minister. Fine, let them talk. I'm pretty
sure, nothing good will come out of that conversation. Meanwhile our
Com-brig left to radio the brigade's HQ to see how they are hanging.
We saw Sashka returning and called him:
- How is the busted up grunt, Sasha?
- He's telling some bullshit that two officers beat him up. He wet his
pants while unconscious. His description, - he stared at us with suspicion,
- sounds like you two.
- Sashok, you don't seriously think that we could bust up the soldier.
Personally, I only squeeze throats, - I started.
- And I usually shoot nuts off. You know us too well, - supported me
We gazed at him upset, as to demand that all accusations be dropped at
- I sure do. Mad cranks. I've seen a lot of you two. You wouldn't care,
for yourselves or for anybody else. So, did you bust him?
- Sasha, - I again spoke in the smooth voice, half-hugging him, - my
dear man. Please explain to us, as you have put it, "mad cranks",
what for did you run back to the hospital? We never noticed anything
merciful about you. Even when we brought over our casualties, you,
apparently, were so busy, that had totally forgotten to come and greet your
- Which, by the way, came to your rescue when the ragheads pinned you
down badly at the edge of the airfield, - continued Yurka, - and (somehow I
don't feel comfortable reminding you this) you swore by all saints that you
will never forget about your saviours.
- And now, my dear friend, you are about to sell off your guarding
angels like bad meat at a discount price. - I picked up from Yura. - We, on
the contrary, never even mentioned the fact that your lad was dropping
liqueur at sky-high prices, and, son of a bitch, even tried to threaten us
with a pistol. So, Alexander? I reckon your guy just hit his mug against
- What did you do him for?
- He told me bluntly to get stuffed, and didn't apologise. Get that.
- I'll teach the bustard manners.
- Sasha, since we have found common ground, I could now make you an
offer to get us some of that humanitarian aid.
- But you've snapped it already.
- Shameless lies, false allegations and groundless attacks, - Yurka
stated with style, - we never stole anything, we bought it for five bucks.
Or five thousand rubles. It was dark in there, rubles or dollars, all in the
same pocket. Is that true Slava?
- It's the truth. I've paid him off myself. I reckon that your sidekick
is trying to hide some of that illegally made profit from you. By the way,
we only bought one piddling six-pack of itsy-bitsy beer cans, you know, and
a pack of cigarettes, and you, after all this, refuse to gear us up
- Just imagine, - Yura was unstoppable, - if we were killed in action
(God forbid of course) you would naturally be sad. Because you never gave us
three sticks of good salami, Vodka of the well-known Moscow brand
"Crystal", a few bottles of good cognac, surely some cheese for it
and a few more bits and pieces. And we will visit you in your dreams
reaching our hands out to you and yell, - we started grabbing him like
vampires, - "you, cheap bastard!"
- Yeah, Sasha, - I interrupted, - I might survive without a pair of
beer packs and good cigarettes, but it would be nice of you to throw in some
dry fish for the beer and
- That's enough. Please give me some water, ma'am, cause I'm so hungry
and have no roof for tonight, - Sasha copycatted us. - If you two hadn't
saved my life, you would've been eating free food in the brick by now.
- That's why, during that gunfight I said to Slava: "Hey, look at
that officer dying there for nothing. Let's save him and he, when highly
appointed, will be feeding us for the rest of the war." Slava, confirm
- God, strike me by lightning if it's not true. Hey, that would be
cool, for a week or two, to rest up in the brick. Food three times a day,
clean sheets, steam-room. - I closed my eyes stargazing. - Nirvana! Sasha,
could you send us to that prison of yours and your scumbag will change his
confession in exactly two weeks from now. Let's say he mistook us for
somebody else and they'll let us free. By then the war could too be over.
Think about it Sasha. I'll buy you a drink for that.
- You're naturally delirious. Spooks don't call you "dogs"
for nothing. You are obviously mad and dangerous.
- We are about to go and see our Commander in Chief now, listen to him
trying to talk us into the Minutka assault. So, I'm thinking to suggest that
he takes his own regiment off the airport guard duty and throw it at the
Square. Meanwhile we would pull security here. Then, after you guys take the
Square, we might move on. How about that, Sash? By the way, have you tasted
all the girls around here?
- No, they are all taken. No chance.
- Don't be stingy and give us one. We'll return her, don't you worry!
- You are mad, mad I tell you!
A deputy assistant emerged from the HQ and called us in.
- Sasha, we'll be there for about forty minutes, so, don't forget that
humanitarian aid, we talked about or we'll come to you in your dreams. Tell
your lad that if he's ever rude to us again, he won't get off this easily.
Wait for us and we'll be back, you'll see, -- I cited a line off a
well-known poem. - And dear, don't forget the beer, the rest is a must.
Yura even blew him a kiss.
- We'll meet again, darling!
Sashka, spewed aside, clearly showing his attitude towards our giddy
behaviour. Passing grunts were watching this whole scene with surprise.
We walked into the airport tailing the rest of the group, hurriedly
finishing off our cigarettes and chucking off the butts. At war we usually
smoke, concealing cigarette in the fist. That way sniper wouldn't see the
flash. This habit worked around the clock, night and day. It makes cense
like this. If your habits are different throughout the day, it is easy to
make that one fatal mistake.
All of us walked into the boardroom where we met the Commander in
Chief, General Rolin and our general Zaharin. In the past his surname was of
Armenian origin, but after the fall of the Union it was suggested to him
that he change it. That's how he turned from Avakian to Zaharin (his wife's
Sandbags plugged all windows in the meeting room. The poor light didn't
reach the corners where all people looked like shadows: Comms officers,
deputies and the rest of the General's aid as well as a few of those who
couldn't miss the opportunity to kiss his ass.
- Please be seated, gentlemen, - Rolin rose and shook Bahel's hand then
simply nodded to the rest of us.
- I have just spoken to the Defence Minister Grachin. At the high
level, - Rolin emphasised the words "high level", - we came to the
decision to assault the Minutka Square structure. I was appointed head of
the operation and you would be carrying out this complex and demanding task.
At the end of the speech his voice turned exultant. I wonder if he and
Karpov had the same teacher in the academy, although, he's not from Moscow.
Hell knows "who is who" in their HQ.
- Our operative group, together with the General Headquarters, has
devised a plan, which was successfully signed off by the Defence Minister.
General Zaharin has just familiarised himself with it. I'm also asking you
to listen carefully here. Correct completion of this task will allow us to
eliminate the rebel forces, led by Dudaev, in the shortest possible time.
They are all now concentrated in the Government Bank Building and in the
so-called Dudaev's Palace, - he pointed his finger at the map laid out on
the table. (Judging from the expression on Zaharin's face, he was not overly
impressed by this plan), - The rest of the buildings, around the assaulted
area, are not important and of not particular interest to us.
It was amazing that a military officer, planning such a blood bath,
treated structures surrounding the assault area with such neglect.
Obviously, the rebels would defend those houses not mentioning the two
bridges, which are for sure fortified and densely mined.
In the Army, we've got three objectives: immediate, next and major. We
always start at the immediate one, then, come to the next and after that
arrive at the main. If people start with the main target, moreover,
mentioning names such as Dudaev's, that is politics. Politics means death to
soldiers. Because these morons never think of people's lives and
consequences, all they're interested in is the result and the timeframe,
regardless of the cost. Jesuitical axiom.
We all stared hard at the map. It turns out that we had to cross both
bridges in almost parade style. What if we didn't make it over? Or only
parts of the assaulting force would cross. The spooks will for sure blow up
the bridges. What's then? Then, those who did make it across, the quicker
ones, ragheads will slaughter like sheep before our own eyes. No one of us
liked this adventure. We are professional soldiers and learnt to risk our
own lives and lives of our men back in college. But to perish foolishly like
this - please, let me out of here. All faces in the room turned grim.
Everyone understood that if we don't stand up for ourselves now, gloomy end
of the Micop Brigade would soon seem like an innocent walk in the park. This
was not even the Central Train Station. This was their President's Palace,
symbol of their national pride. The only solution seemed a nuclear bomb drop
or a long and laborious air assault.
From inside the shadows, emerged the so-called Chief of Staff of the
allied HQ, Colonel Sedov. No one knew much of him, but wars often promote
great men as well as losers to the top of the military ladder. I,
personally, couldn't hold anything against Sedov, but if it was he, who
devised this plan in the first place, he wasn't a loser then, he was a
criminal in ranks. Sedov began to speak. His conduct was well schooled. He
didn't seem threatened by Rolin at all and it probably wasn't his first time
in a company like this. Judging from his parched face and military posture,
I figured he was a line officer. OK, let's see what he's got to say.
- General and gentlemen, - started Sedov, - our opponent concentrated
his chief forces in the Minutka Square area.
"Tell me something new" - I thought to myself.
- That's why to finally break his resistance, demoralise him and flush
out of town, you are to carry out plan, signed off by the Defence Minister
and approved by the Commander in Chief, - now it seemed like Sedov was
admiring himself in the mirror. His was irrupting with pride,
self-importance and the fact that this plan was his idea - now all doubts
about the authorship were gone - he did it.
- You are to quickly capture the bridges over the Sunzha River on the
run and dash through the square, then, capture and destroy enemy infantry
inside the Bank building and Dudaev's residence, so-called Palace, - Sedov
continued to sing.
"Hello my baby, how are you today?" - breezed through my
- To carry out this assault, several airborne elements, marines and the
Leningrad regiment will complement your brigade. You will also have
artillery and air back up.
The most interesting part was that no one indicated unit numbers of the
supporting force and the amount of back up we would supposedly receive.
Would that be one air-wing or an artillery division? Altogether, the plan
seemed raw and superficial. In case of failure, we would obviously take the
full blame. Nice future!
- The time for the assault was designated two days from now. During
these two days you are to promptly take hotel "Kavkaz", then
reassign it (to whom!?) and move out to the Square, - Sedov, it seemed, had
it all figured out nicely and naturally we should've too, thus right now
scooting out of here and capture the Square. Absolute foolishness!
- General, gentlemen, I'm finished. Any questions please? - Judging
from his tone, he must've thought that only degenerates and morons could ask
questions - what can you possibly expect from siberian mahra?
- What are the estimates of the enemy force at the Minutka complex?
Their armament, mine fields around the square and bridges? - Quietly but
sharply asked our Com-brig, emerging from the shadows.
- The amount of the rebel force does not exceed three to four thousand
men (I like the precision. Who cares? One less thousand or one more
thousand). Their armament consists of standard issue small arms plus GP-25s,
RPG-7 grenade launchers and light company mortars. (How about darting around
a flat square under the shower of mortars?)
- What about the bridges?
- We do not have any precise information whether the bridges are mined
or not. All approaches are heavily defended with nests and blocks without
any possibility for proper reconnaissance at this stage. However, we are
constantly working on it. Also our local supporters constantly inform us.
We all smiled at this statement. A chechen would rarely sell another
chechen, but to bust a non-believer is always a delight.
- You are all laughing vainly, - Sedov turned nervous, - recently in
Moscow a question was raised from the local opposition's initiative, whether
this invasion and senselessly violent actions have caused this republic an
irreparable economic damage and set its people against us. Partisan movement
is growing stronger by the day (really?). Because of that, there is a
notion, that we under no circumstance kill the rebels but only disarm them
and let go home. In their majority they are only frightened peasants. The
spring is coming so is their crop season. Otherwise they'll all die of
- So the hell with them! - I let it out in the mortal silence. Everyone
instantly burst laughing and I attracted attention of both Rolin and Sedov.
Yurka nudged me, but it was too late by then.
- You must've missed the point, comrade - Sedov looked at my shoulder
flashes and seeing no stars continued, - By the way, why aren't you wearing
your proper insignia?
- Scared of snipers, comrade colonel, - I replied modestly, although
was close to making a huge scene.
- It's all horseshit. Do you think that snipers are interested in your
stars? I don't think so. How would you lead your men if you don't have your
I was just about to burst into a long and unflattering speech about
shoulder stars and my opinion about his lousy plan. I am no hero, but at
war, you figure out quickly that there is no deeper shit than this, well,
may be only if you're wounded. Other than that - screw them all. You want to
fire me - be my guests!
But Bahel outpaced me; he must've guessed what is going to follow and
thus quickly spoke:
- Comrade general, we'll work out later why captain Mironov is not
wearing his stars. That was me who allowed my officers to take them off. I
am for now more worried about the forthcoming operation. The timeframes you
have set for us would not allow our brigade, which has been engaged in heavy
fighting for weeks, to rapidly, without proper preparation, redeploy and
carry out your assignment (Bahel emphasised the word "your"). I
recommend you immediately give the order to commence sustained air and
artillery strikes at the square network. That must continue on until the
time comes for us to move into the area. Two hours before the assault,
airborne reconnaissance units must capture the bridges and keep all attempts
to blow them up at bay. By the way, could you tell us exactly which airborne
units would act as our aid? In my opinion, frontal assault of the Minutka
Square is a senseless suicide. I will not follow orders, which would
literally mean running my men past a firing squad.
- Do you understand what you are saying, colonel? - Rolin was furious.
- I will make a phone call to Grachin and have you court-martialed! I will
have you arrested on the spot! You'll be on the first plane to Moscow! You
know how many men would want to take up your spot?
- If it would save my men from slaughter I volunteer to write my letter
of resignation immediately! - Now Bahel was enraged. -You are afraid to
blast the shit out of this f...ing square from the air, but at the same time
you are OK to drown in blood a few thousand soldiers! You better think of
that first before you think of your public image
- Shut you mouth, traitor! - Rolin erupted. - You are out of your god
damned mind, colonel. You're a coward. I'll grind you into powder in five
seconds. And you What are you all looking at? Get the hell out of here!
No way, general, we'll tear up anybody for our commander if he only
tells us to.
- We uphold our CO's opinion that this is a sheer suicide to storm the
square without preparatory air and artillery runs, - somebody from our group
summarised the situation.
- Does everyone think like that? - Rolin squinted and looked around
heavily. - Out! Get out! Guards! Get them all out of here! Disarm them!
Convoy the traitors to the brick!
We only huddled closer in response. Silence set about the room. Mortal
Silence The door opened and two privates and an officer entered, ready to
carry out any order their commander gives them. All of us prepared for the
worst possible outcome. General Zaharin suddenly interrupted the silence -
what a brave man.
- Let's all not make any rush decisions. We will let the officers go
breath some fresh air for now and ourselves stay in here and discuss
possible solutions to fix this situation. Let's keep our cool and not make
any sudden moves. We all understand that a frontal assault would be
dangerous, but together we must find the ultimate solution, - and now
addressing us, - go gentlemen, wait outside, nothing is going to happen; I'm
giving you my word.
- Go, - The Com-brig told us dryly.
We left the room. All of us were quivering. The guards were following
us closely. Someone grabbed their chief and whispered:
- If you bitch, even think about arresting our commander, I'll kill
you. Get it?
- What about my orders? - He asked in scare. His grunts kept away by
- You want to live?
- If you are given the order to arrest him, we'll ambush you. During
the ambush you'd give him up quietly. Understood? This way we'll let you and
your grunts live. Did you understand everything I just said?
- We'll now move our vehicles up a little closer. Don't panic. When our
CO comes out with your general, we'll get in the cars and leave. We don't
want your blood, but if you stand in the way, we'll kill you. Understand?
You know who we are?
- I do, you are "the dogs". I understood.
- You don't know anything. We're no dogs we are mahra. We'll tear you
up if our commander is in danger. That's all.Now go. And if you or any of
your grunts make a peep, you'll all die. You like that?
- No I don't.
- That's right. We are here to fight chechens, not each other. They
want us to storm Minutka head-on. Basically they want us dead. But we don't
want to die. That's why Rolin is angry. Go and don't make any trouble.
- OK, I've got it. I've heard you guys are real madmen; but to jump at
Rolin like that, is beyond everyone's expectations. You guys are total nuts!
- Chief of the guards has already recovered from his shock and was walking
with us towards the exit. His face expressed both admiration and distrust at
the same time.
All of us came out steaming hot. Everyone lit up and was inhaling
hungrily, digesting the newly received information. Since he was the
youngest one of all, our recon unit leader was sent to move the armour
closer to the airport. Chief of the guards was told to give the order to
- Are you nuts, men? I'll go down for this! This is crazy!
- Do we have to tie you up or what?
- Tie me up, kill me, do what you want. I can't give that order. Full
- OK, chill out. We won't move the cars beyond your posts. Are you
happy with that?
- Fine by me. But if you move in, I'll have to open up.
- OK, fine.
We all knew perfectly well what disobeying an order could lead to.
Especially in a war-zone, it could result in anything up to the firing squad
without court-martial or even an investigation. The Military Law states
clearly: "An order must be carried out undisputedly, entirely and in
time. After the order has been carried out it can then be challenged."
Who can then challenge that order after our entire brigade will be
slaughtered on this fing Square? Whoever lives through, we'll be permanent
mental home clients.
Yep, this looked like an armed rebellion. What else our open refusal to
carry out an order could be called?
- Slava, what do think about leaving, ah? Like the
battleship"Poteomkin". Yurka asked, inhaling hungrily. - How about
- With our APC, via the Black Sea bottom. I'd say not such a bad idea.
Don't be silly. We haven't done anything illegal as yet. There is a statute
in the Military Law that if you consider that a given order violates The
Constitution Laws, you have the right not to follow it*. To lead your men
out there now means death. Take Chekhoslovakia for instance. Maybe just a
bit bigger then Chechnya but back then preparations took six months. Over
here, it was thrown together ad hoc. Because over there it was considered
overseas, here, on the other hand, inside the boarders, the bustards can put
down a million soldiers on both sides, no one would notice. I chucked off my
cigarette and pulled out another one. Unaccustomed to the weaker tobacco I
just couldn't get enough. - Look, Sashka is coming over with help!
Next to the walking, with important look on his face, Sashka, was
dragging his feet under a weight of two heavy boxes, our old acquaintance -
corporal from the hospital with a patch across his nose and two black eyes.
- We told you to watch your manners, sonny! - Yurka and I were smiling.
- You brought it on yourself.
- Don't be so ill mannered, young men, or you'll die before your
discharge. - I added. - If had punched you a little higher, could've crushed
your skull. You are a lucky lad, my friend, we could've held on until you
make your move with a pistol and cut you open right there without a hint of
Sashka came just in time. For once, his appearance distracted us from
our bitter thoughts. I had no desire to become a criminal while I am a
patriot in my heart. Nor did I want to lose all my men at the square and
then shoot myself. I don't think, as an officer, I could live on with such a
heavy weight on my shoulders. What I did want was to get totally shitfaced.
Those two boxes contained liqueur that would, at least for a short while,
let me avoid making this horrible choice. However, we can't do it here and
right now. Or they for sure would accuse us of drinking on the job. All
present knew it well.
- Did you guys just declare a rebellion? - Sashka was alarmed. - You
stirred up some havoc. People are talking about your capture.
- No, we just said that you have expressed desire to lead your company
ahead of us at machineguns on the square, but he turned stubborn. Just
wouldn't let you go full stop. He says that he would never allow his beloved
captain to die like this. But you bastards, says he to us, I don't give a
shit about. Go, perish, the whole brigade of yours with Colonel and General.
I'll throw a medal in every one of your coffins, - I was again filling up
with rage. I knew that neither Sashka nor the grunt had anything to do with
it. I just needed to take it on somebody.
- Or Sasha, you could donate this scumbag to us. We'd write up the
request for transfer and he'd sign it at the gunpoint of his own pistol. In
fact I think he'd sign anything. Nobody would notice the gunshot. As for the
body, we'll stash it somewhere far in the debris. What do you scum think
I was waiting for anyone of them to reply, at least with a gesture of
some kind. But they were both speechless. My mood was gloomy and ferocious.
All my feelings and thoughts were now motionless, bound into a tightened
spring, ready to pop open with a gigantic charge of energy. But they were
- Sasha, did you load up everything we talked about? - I was gradually
getting the grip on myself. But the spring was tightening stiffer and
stiffer, sharpening all my senses already sharp as it is. - Let's go load it
We wondered off to our APC. I walked ahead, then corporal and Sashka at
the tail of the procession. Thick mud was everywhere and the sun already
started to set. I opened the infantry hatch and the grunt began to load
Sashka's gifts inside the compartment. Sashka finally came over. I booted
the grunt's ass, he disappeared inside the vehicle's belly and I slammed the
hatch behind him. Then I grabbed Sashka by his vest, pressed him against
APC's wall and drew my pistol. He face turned white and eyes widened. He
looked at me then at the gun.
- Now tell me who gave the order to encircle us. Hurry up, you know
we'll either die now or later anyway.Hurry up, bitch, tell me all.
Yurka came up behind me.
- The ring is getting tighter. It'd be pretty difficult now to make our
way into the building. They've dragged in there about a company of men, no
fewer than that.RPG gunners are in there too. The range is damned close. -
Yurka was absolutely deadpan and ready for action.
He said to Sashka:
- Come on, man, tell us who said what and what's the order?
- Sedov came out after you left and ordered not to let out of the
airport area. The passwords are already changed. The building has also been
secured. If you make an attempt to fight your way out or inside the
building, we are to open fire without warning. He said you're planning to
change sides. I was given the order of distracting you, get you drunk or
something. That's all. Let go me. Still, you're madmen. What are you going
to do with the grunt? - Sashka was rubbing his neck.
- Take him. He must've shitted his pants by now. What's the password?
- I don't know. They only told me to get you drunk and get out quick.
What do I tell Sedov?
- The truth. The grunt will confirm. So, they'll start the onslaught
soon since you've been told to promptly get out. OK Sasha, go. Good bye.
- Slava, Yura, everything's going to be fine. They'll come to an
agreement, you'll see. I'll approach Sedov and Rolin and ask them to leave
you alone. Let's come with me and when it's all over I'll let you out. Come
He said "whet it's all over". It could only be over after the
firing squad is done shooting. Because I knew now, that I would not return
fire. They are like us, how could I shoot back? In their eyes, however, we
- Thank you Sasha, but no. Just tell them we're not traitors, OK? Even
if we die here today, we're still not. Good bye.
I opened the hatch and the grunt hopped back.
- It's OK. Get out. You've heard everything?
- When asked, tell the truth, - when they wondered off, I couldn't help
myself and yelled out: - Don't be rude to strangers!
The grunt cramped like from a punch.
- So, Slava, let us go?
All the way back we walked in silence. There was emptiness in my mind
and talking seemed pointless. Absolutely nothing was up to us anymore. We
knew what to do. All that was left was to await the slaughter, like sheep.
All our officers herded together and talked about something. The grunts
were all atop of APCs. Engines were all started and many guns were wheeled
towards the airport building. We came closer to the crowd of officers. It
seemed that every one of them was talking at the same time, but no one was
listening to anybody:
- They're really going to shoot?
- What would you do?
- We fought together before, how could they? Sons of bitches, freaks,
- Sold mother Russia and now trying to screw us!
- Hey, who'd go to Moscow now?
- My father was right, your worst enemy is in Moscow. He wants you dead
first. Then comes your Air Force and only then the Germans!
- Yura, Slava, what did you decide? - The discussion halted and
everyone was staring at us now.
- I, personally, - I emphasised "personally", - will not
shoot at my own people. Supplies captain said Sedov ordered not to let us
out of the area and inside the building. The password has been changed.
There is about a company-sized element inside the building. Now maybe even
more. I'd say, we're in deep shit.
- So, you say we just stand there and let them shoot us like ducks?
Nice attitude, man!
- If I wanted to leave, I would've left by now. It's only a hundred
meters to the gates. Sedov told them we want to change sides and thus refuse
to assault Minutka.
Everyone went nuts. It would be impossible to describe the monologues
since I could only leave dots and comas. If you, my reader, can replicate
the mood like that, you can yourself make up a speech or two. I can only say
that politicians from the past as well as the ones presently in charge, ours
as well as foreign, were all mentioned, so were their parents and other
close and distant relatives.
Officers of the security regiment were all standing on the airport's
porch, also herded together. So to say: our "likely opponents",
who were, not so long ago, our comrades in arms. Our lives now depended on
them. If they believe Sedov's lies, we're doomed. Whatever they decide to
do, I will not fire back at you guys. I felt sad; if they could only shoot
me dead instantly. Or maybe I'll just shoot myself now? No, not yet, not all
has been done; that I can do any time - it's never too late to put a bullet
in my head.
Meanwhile, behind those closed doors our fates were being decided. Much
depends on the final decision. The fates of Russia and Chechnya are now in
the hands of four men, who are now trying madly to prove each other wrong.
Or maybe our CO is already under arrest with the general. It would be pretty
foolish to just waist a military commander and a general without a
court-martial. We, on the contrary, can easily be all hosed from a pair of
machineguns now. Investigations can be done later. Yep, if you want to go
home at some stage, you shoot first and ask questions later. I keep along
that route myself when meet with the ragheads and now feel quite
uncomfortable acting as target. Occupied by these thoughts I didn't even
notice that I only had left one cigarette. The taste in my mouth was bitter
from tabacco and the stupid situation we were in. I pulled the last smoke
from the packet and a thought stung through my mind: is this my last
cigarette? I started puffing it slowly, striving to enjoy every bit of smoke
I breathed in. Allright, boys, I'm ready for anything now. With every breath
came calm and confidence. I'm no sheep, waiting to be throttled; I am a man,
having consciously made up his mind. I watched a small group of officers who
probably felt just as uneasy. Perhaps, they were trying to make some sort of
decision, to fire on us or not to fire at all: to kill or not to kill.
© Copyright 2001 translation by Alex Dokin (email@example.com)
Anybody needs help? - Doctor, captain of the medical squad, Zhenya
Ivanov, came up to the grunts. A very bright fellow, smart, intelligent,
toll and skinny, with his head shaved, bushy moustache and glasses he
reminded me of a very popular bard Rosenboum. The grunts flipped away from
- No, nobody needs nothing! - Pliers tried to get away, but the doc,
like any other corpseman, quickly grabbed him and pulled over:
- Stand still, patient, and don't make any sudden movements or I'll
break you something by mistake. OK, your bones are fine and the rest seems
in place. You'll live for now. After your untimely death an autopsy will
reveal the reason why such a young and pretty creature passed away.
- Let's go, shell we? - Asked Zubastik surrounding him officers.
I gave the order and pointed my finger at Pliers, Badalov and the
- You go ahead, we'll cover your rear. And make it snappy, will ya.
Don't worry if you see lots of mines, we only need one go at it, move in and
quickly back out. Is our medical team ready?
- Yes chief! - Doc Zhenya answered for all.
We set off one by one, glinting around and covering each other's backs,
ready to scatter off and take security around perimeter at any moment. From
where we left our carriers we could hear nothing besides their running
- Zhenya, - I caught up with the doc, - Yurka asked for some tablets
- There is one very radical thing against booze. You know which one?
- Not to drink?
- Bingo! You knew, didn't you?
- No, just a lucky guess.
- Amazing. Usually people buy it. You couldn't have guessed, could you?
- You see, Zhenya, being just as cynical as you are, I am trying not to
take things the hard way. Because if I did I'd go nuts. The rest is all up
to the Man.
- It's a mystery how you can still maintain your sense of humour.
- It's simple, really. Turks have this wonderful expression "kysmet"
which means "destiny", that's what I use to stay afloat. If your fate were
to live this long and die from a grenade burst at such particular moment,
you would, trust me. Regardless of how cool you are and how many bodyguards
you have, your guts will be dangling off a tree eventually. Same goes for
the rest in life.
- You seriously believe in all this?
- Yes Zhenya, I do. For example. In your medical practise, have you
ever had cases when your patient, according to all signs, must've been
already dead by now, but he's still hanging there, against all odds? You can
reject all laws, but he's still here, according to the law of fate. Have
you? Don't try telling me that his immune system turned out much stronger
than you previously thought. You have to agree that there is something
mysterious in many medical cases.
- I agree, especially there are lots of cases like that here, in
extreme circumstances, so to say.
- That's right. What about when men drop all around but one soldier is
like spellbound, like bullets bounce off the guy.
- Yeah, I've seen something like that. Remember platoon from the first
battalion got lost and walked straight into an ambush?
- I sure remember that one. They were all wasted from close range.
- Three of them did survive though. Two wounded and one without a
scratch on him. Everyone thought the guy was hiding behind the others' backs
and nearly killed him in the rush. But the wounded confirmed that they only
lived because of him. He pulled the burning track from under fire and only
having made sure that all others were dead picked up the casualties and
drove off. Thus, I think you might be right. What about you? Aren't you
afraid of death?
- Of coarse I am, Zhenya. But maybe, I'm just prepared for this, you
know. But more than the death herself I'm scared of becoming crippled.
Promise me Zhenya, that if I ever get onto your operating table without a
limb or some other crippling wound, you would serve me the chance to leave
this world peacefully. I understand you can't do it yourself, but please
give me that chance.
- OK, slow down. First, I think you are heading straight for a nervous
breakdown and all this is just shock talking. I've heard, you know, what
happened at the "North". I also know that you guys were first to refuse to
return fire. It was your buddy the airport chief, who straightened it all
out with our ex-allies and practically forced them come to the same
decision. Therefore, take my advice, have a drink, or come to me and I'll
give you some tablets. By the way, that's what we are here for. Only do not
take too many of them. As for the death, everyone is free to do with his
life whatever he wants. There are no "no choice" situations. There is always
a choice and a way. Maybe, it's not the choice we would prefer, but it is
still a choice. People create problems and people solve them.
- You just don't get it, do you? - I wearily waved my hand, - I'm not a
schoolgirl, hysterical over her boyfriend, and it's no breakdown. It's much
worse for those guys at the frontline. I am just scared of being crippled,
that's all. I have a huge respect for people like that Meresjev guy,
clutching for every little thing in life, even when disabled, despite all
the obstacles and shit they are faced with, but I don't think I've the
character. I'd rather use the "toy" and let my guts fly free than live like
that. OK, let's just drop it, shell we? Or we might bring the bad luck.
- Look Slava, the sappers are signalling, they must've finished over
there. Let's go, shell we. We'll continue our little talk some other time,
accompanied by a bottle of good cognac and cards.
- Fine, let's move. However, you, bastard, still haven't promised me
anything. For now just think about it, would you?
- OK. I'll think about it if you buzz off. I can consider it, but I
don't have to do it. Understood?
- Understood. Let's go.
- Found anything? - I asked the sappers, coming over.
- Not much, comrade Captain. A booby-trapped grenade at the entrance
and that's about it, - they reported merrily, happy at the fact that there
wasn't much to do for them out there.
- OK, go check around the territory. When done, come back and help us
As the grunts heard about the loading up business, they were gone
before I could finish my speech. Now, try to find an idiot to carry heavy
boxes, even for a good reason like this one.
I looked around. Republican medical warehouses were made up of several
big hangars and two administrative single-storey buildings. I turned to our
- Well, gentlemen, where do you think we should start from? It's a lot
of buildings out there. I suggest we split up in small groups and search the
docks. If you find anything of use, we carry it outside and then load onto
trucks. Any questions, doubts or proposals I shell accept in written form in
no less than three printed copies.
Some sneers came back instead and we all walked off.
- Zhenya, - I asked Ivanov, - do you even know what you're looking for?
- I sure do, - he pulled out a piece of paper with a decent list on it.
I took a glance but couldn't work out any of it since it was all written in
Latin, - Don't bother, you couldn't read any of it.
- What about you, can you understand this? It's not really your
- I'll work it out. We have to look for tranquillisers, anti-shock
stuff, anti-burns, breath relief, cardio medications, things like that.
We came to the gates of the nearest hangar. They were locked up so I
nodded to the private:
- Go for it! Just watch for the ricochet, allright?
Everyone moved behind the soldier and he smashed both locks with a
short burst. We walked into the semi-dark dock. Long shelves with packages
were stretching for as far as we could see.
- Hey doc, watch for the expiry dates. You might have to feed this
stuff to us.
- It is as darks as in a nigger's ass in there, put some light on it,
- It's good to know you've been places, doc, - I noted sarcastically
and everybody cackled.
- Zhenya, is it really that gloomy in there? - A voice came from the
dark and again everyone gaggled.
- As soon as I catch one I'll shove you bastards one by one up his ass
and you'll see it for yourselves, - The doctor came back swiftly.
- What if we catch a female one? Could we do an extensive checkup on
- Mulatto girls are much prettier.
- They say Korean women are nice too.
- Even a girl from Rjasan' would do it for me these days.
- Fellows, women of Europe are all horrible. No one is better than our
Gabbing this way about this and that, we moved along the endless rows
- Help me up, will ya, - Zhenya climbed up a shelf. Up there he opened
up a package and helping himself with a torch, started digging into a bunch
of little boxes. - OK, take them down. Watch it, they ampoules.
- Found something useful?
- Yes, cerebrolisin.
- What kind of disease is that?
- It's not a disease, you moron, it's a medication, helps against
- Which means it's only any good for the young soldiers. We, officers,
don't need that because we have no brains no more. What we have is one big
strong bone instead. - I was in the mood for lyrics. After the shakedown at
the "North" and preceding it briefing I just wished I could relax a little.
- Sometime during my third year in college, - I continued, - we had one
funny little incident. Those days we already lived in the student hostel and
rules were not as tough as they used to be during the first years. So it was
in April, we get up in the morning, going to the toilet but sergeants are
kicking us out for the morning jog. It's bloody cold outside though. We
rarely did any jogging as it is, but now, God knows why, they started
kicking us out in the cold. May be an inspection of some sort arrived or
something else happened, I can't remember. Anyway, one of the students,
named Popov, decided to bugger it. He said stuff it, I won't go and that's
that. Our unit leader was not all too happy with such attitude, so he grabs
Popov and starts yelling at the guy. Popov, though, tells the unit leader to
go screw himself. As the one who gave an order, the unit commander, as the
law states, must see that the order is carried out and otherwise enforce it
by any practical means so he punches Popov in the face. Popov, by the way,
was returning from a trip to the bathroom and had a big carafe with water in
his hand. Remember those huge, thick glass carafes in the army back then?
Anyway, Popov turns around and hits his unit leader with that carafe right
on the head. The carafe breaks into thousand little pieces, blood mixed with
water is running down the leader's face. He tumbles like a sack of shit, we
think that's it, the guy's dead. Popov, scared shitless, drops carafe's
neck, which he was still clutching, and splits off via the corridor. All of
us kneel near the leader, assuming the worst, but he pushes everyone off,
jumps up and, like cougar, sprints after Popov. Then he catches up with him
and starts kicking the living shit out of the fellow. We barely managed to
tear him off the guy. We thought the leader was in shock or something and
that's why he couldn't feel the pain. The blood was still streaming out from
his most probably broken skull. Finally we called for a nurse. She gave the
guy a checkup and a x-ray. After all this his skull was absolutely intact,
without a single crack. She couldn't even find any signs of concussion. And
now tell me if you think he had brains. A civilian would've been most likely
dead, a first year student seriously hurt, but a military college graduate
was absolutely fine.
- Yep, that's right, servicemen' skulls are tough.
- Doc, you've seen a lot of skulls. Which ones are tougher?
- Airborne, for sure. They hit their heads constantly against the edge
of the plane's hatch and land on their heads sometimes too, - the hangar
shook with the thunderous laugh this time, - I'm kidding, I'm kidding,
everyone's skull is different. Unfortunately, they don't get any stronger
with careers. Imagine if that was true, how thick colonels' and generals'
skulls would be.
- Yeah, that's funny, imagine, fellows, how thick must be Rolin's
skull! I say it could take a direct hit from a tank cannon.
- He probably wouldn't even need a helmet.
- Hey, help me up over here. There's more here of interest, - Zhenya
again started to climb another rack. - Yeah, exactly what we need! Take it
We took down a box from him with cardiamin and some other stuff.
- It's for treating heart failure, - he explained, leaping down and
dusting himself off.
He climbed up a few more racks in this fashion, selected more boxes and
passed them down to us. We, in turn, stockpiled them outside and left them
all there in guards' possession.
After that we visited a few more hangars, smaller than the first one,
where we picked up all sorts of stuff. Everyone's pockets were full of
vitamin tablets and soldiers were carrying huge cans with them. All of us
were already crunching on the tablets and some were even chewing
anti-nicotine chewing gum, hoping to quit smoking right about now. I loaded
up on vitamins too as well as nicotine patches, zhen-shen balsam, tablets
for Yura and some other stuff.
Everyone was in fabulous mood. I looked at my watch and thought that I
might even make it to the briefing. At the thought of the briefing I knew
that relaxation time was nearly over. We must go back.
- Let's move it boys! The sun is setting.
It's true, the noon was almost over.
- Hurry up, will ya. Get the boxes. I'm not in the mood to spend the
night out here.
Suddenly, the noise of sporadic gunfire came over from where we left
- What the hell!? I thought, for once we could do something without
interruption. Go, go, fellows! - I sprinted forward, carrying a package with
heavy drugs, given to me by Zhenya.
To get everything out we had to bust a little armoured door. For some
strange reason no one has yet managed to snatch the drugs or may be we were
just lucky. We've got the rare medicines and I had a feeling we'd soon need
The gunfire soon died away which was very strange to say the least.
Perhaps our drivers got it mixed up or maybe, they were not the winners.
- Come on! Move it fellows.
- Go! Go!
- Hold on, guys!
- We'll fry the motherfuckers!
- Let's just hope the carriers are fine!
Kicking and screaming like that we scooted ahead via the school rubble.
The school's upper floors at the rear have all collapsed, having made a
virtual hill with its debris, all the way down to the warehouses. Coming
down was easy enough, but running uphill, stumbling on chips of bricks and
concrete, was no fun at all. A funny kids rhyme suddenly popped in my mind:
"...what a hard work that would be, to pull a hippo from a swamp...".
Breathing heavily, falling down and getting back up again, tearing skin off
our hands and faces and busting ampoules with medicine, we ran up the
school's second floor and dashed down the opposite hill. Since I had the
smallest box, I overtook everyone and was the first to see that our
mechanics were peacefully chatting with some other unfamiliar soldiers next
to the armoured tracks. I stood still in the shadow and carefully looked at
Everything seemed calm. Nobody seemed to be hiding or slinking about.
Haven it was. I caught my breath and spewed with green and yellow slime
again. Damn it. I've got to quit smoking. Others came up. All of us, with
rifles braced, started to come down slowly. Those guys could be deserters or
may be again, escaped cons. OK, we'll see when we get there.
Coming closer, we saw that the guests were like us, "the saviours",
"members of the southern adventure force". Having noticed our arrival, my
mechanic leapfrogged over to me and jerked his hand up to his helmet in
salute and reported:
- Comrade Captain, during your absence nothing particular happened,
with the exception... we mistook our neighbours for ragheads and opened fire
- And the number of casualties is...
- None, we quickly worked it out.
- That's good. Imagine, if you were better shooters you might've killed
- Comrade Captain, I am a platoon leader of the 125st artillery
regiment, lieutenant Krikov! -Junior officer, barely any older than his
subordinates, came up to me and saluted.
"Krikov - Kryukov", it rhymed inside my head. Strangely enough, I was
thinking of Kryukov this morning and now see Krikov. It's all too funny.
- When did you graduate? - Someone asked from the back.
- This year, - proudly answered lieutenant.
- Right, - I whistled, - Lucky you didn't kill each other. What the
hell are you doing out here anyway?
- We were getting some water for the division. When we walked down,
there were no one here, but returning we stumbled upon your backup. We've
not enough people and too many heavy water tanks. We had no choice but to do
the run without reconnaissance since every one was carrying water.
Lieutenant was saying "us", like the decisions he was making were based
on his and his men "chinese parliament", which was most probably true. He is
very "green". I had the urge to give him a lecture, but held it in. He won't
learn anything anyway until he steps into his own shit. That shit though
could be his last. Thinking of this I spewed again. What a moron, ha? He'll
die and his men would perish too. I could hold it in no more:
- Next time, lieutenant, take either more men or fewer flasks.
Otherwise, an ambush is out there waiting for you. Get it? - I told him in
The man cringed under my look and most probably would say something
daring in response but in the end changed his mind. So very "green" he was
that all his thoughts could easily be read on his face. He thought it over
for a while and then asked:
- Comrade Captain, could you give us a ride for a few blocks to the
regiment, I wouldn't want to tab all the way back. Spooks are always a
problem too, wouldn't want to meet them either.
- Sure, get in. Where do you get your water? - Stupid question, really,
in this situation. Where else but Sunzha?
- From Sunzha, of course. Twice someone shot at us. - Lieutenant was
- If they wanted you dead, they would've left one good sniper there and
we wouldn't be having this conversation right now. Where abouts? - I rolled
out the map while we walked back to the carriers.
- Here, - Krikov pointed at the spot, five blocks away from the school.
- And here is the nest the shots came from.
- OK, I wouldn't venture for water out here anymore, tomorrow they'll
be waiting for us up there for sure. Did you at least shoot back?
- Of course.
- Fine, get in the trucks.
We loaded up on the armour and set off. In a few blocks lieutenant
asked to pull over.
I gave the order to stop and APCs halted. Lieutenant and his men leapt
off, waved us good by and walked off to the regiment quarters, crooked under
the heavy weight of their tanks and flasks. Another half an hour and we were
back at our base. Instantly Corpsemen hurried off to their tents to sort out
the spoils. I was off to my cab too where Pashka was feeding firewood to our
- Tell me news, - I asked him taking off my gear.
- No news. Everyone is at the briefing. Is that true we'll have a go at
- Yeah. - I said dryly, - long briefing?
- It's been going on for about hour and a half. They've been calling
for you a few times.
- No shit, - I walked out and lit up on the way to briefing room.
Making my way through the mud, I came over to the HQ. Crowd of officers
and men near the entrance were having a lively discussion. I neither wanted
to put off my sweet cigarette or get in there and continue on discussing
those suicidal plans. The question now was how many hundreds of us will die
out there. The "enemy" at the "North" and Moscow has finally rejected our
appeal for air and artillery support and tightened the time frames. What we
now had to discuss was which battalion was to go in first. Officers tried to
tell me something but I wasn't listening to anybody. In my head, I was
struggling to come up with the right arguments in favour of my plan, which I
haven't even finished composing yet, but some details were already beginning
to build up. There was, it seemed, a small chance to reduce the number of
casualties. Having read my state of mind, the officers left me alone. I
nodded to them in appreciation and tossed off my cigarette, which fell into
the mud in an arc-like trajectory. Just like the life itself, isn't it? As
soon as gets atop, it slams right back down. I was thinking how many lives
would tomorrow fall without even reaching the top. Old men invented the war.
They are already infertile but still lack wisdom and surely have enough
ambitions for all the young ones put together. Their Power lets them push
the youth to die for their old ideals and, after having satisfied their
thirst for blood, they'd be stealing again left, right and forward
whatever's left there. We, officers, the witnesses to their madness, are
pretty much done too. They'll do to us what they did to the veterans of the
afghan campaign. They'll portray us as idols, and then would demote us to
the status of drunks and drug junkies. Those vets are now officially
murderers that had gashed off peaceful afghan population unable to take on a
decent force. Now they're shut out, blamed for everything. Their official
diagnosis - the "afghan syndrome". Jesus, how many more of those "syndromes"
they've forgotten to mention. Every hotspot is another "syndrome". Too many,
if ask me, even for such large state like Russia.
I was just "winding up" myself. It is better to walk in already pissed
off and "wound up" than do it in there. Everybody's already tired of endless
useless arguments and constant dead-end conversations and you are barging
in, aggressive, ready to tear to pieces every one in your way. Your opinion
at this stage is a breath of fresh air.
My ideas have already begun to take shape of a final plan. We depended
heavily though on our captured men not being in that palace, because I was
afraid we could knock them out too.
There is a device that sappers use for pushing mines out. It would work
for us beautifully. The thing consists of a rocket with three jet engines,
one for the flight and two initial boosters. When it takes off it drags
behind it a thick hose stuffed with C4 and only flies in one particular
direction. When that hose (or gut) unwinds all the way, the rocket slumps
and in a few seconds the gut's C4 detonates, making a ditch about four
meters wide. This "dragon" is employed to make ways for infantry inside
minefields. Those mines that do not explode, after the detonation would
surely be pushed out on the surface anyway. Depending on a type of terrain,
the width of the ditch could vary from one meter to four.
Therefore, if we got close to that fricking palace, we could launch a
few of these "dragons" toward it. After that not much of that whorehouse
will be left standing. The most important task would be to destroy the lower
floors. The rest would fall soon after, burying them all in there. But
again, it only worked well in case only the spooks were inside. Anyway, I
walked up to the entrance, moved my AK behind my back, and pushed the door
- May I come in, comrade Colonel? - I interrupted Bahel in the middle
of his explanation.
All battalion commanders, their chiefs, com-brig's XOs and other HQ
officers were looking at the map. A few more men were smoking near the
window breach barricaded with sandbags.
- Come in, Mironov. How was the trip?
- Very well, comrade Colonel.
- Please take a seat and do not interrupt us. Whatever you have missed
you can find out later.
He turned to the map again and moved his pen across it, using it as
pointer. Judging from the spot he was at, we were now storming the State
Bank. Which in turn meant that we have already taken over (on the map that
is) the bridges and successfully moved across the open space under the hail
of gunfire. I should probably ask them afterwards how they did it. For now
I'll just seat here quietly and listen. The time will come for me to stand
up and express my point of view, like any other present here. First, the
lowest ranking officers will speak, then, all the way up the pyramid. It is
done deliberately, so that the opinion of the higher-ranking officers wasn't
weighing on their shoulders. At the end, com-brig will do the summing up.
He, the brigade's commander, is the one responsible for every single thing,
he is to oversee the state of affairs, make decisions, give out orders and
control the way they are carried out. His chief of staff could sometimes get
a piece of the pie, but mostly it is up to him to do all those things. Same
order is in the trenches. Battalion, company or platoon commander is always
responsible for his unit. He is the one who would get all the blame if his
men didn't achieve the objective. Tribunal would be swift, it won't drag on,
I'd vouch for that. Best case scenario, he'll lose his ranks, get kicked out
of the army and go back to farming. Worst case: court martial, dishonourable
discharge, his medals taken away and then jail.
In our country, the most fearful prefix to your status is "ex-". If
they could have a go at the ex-president, an ex-military commander's rank is
no cover for sure. If they found out you were at war, hold on to your pants,
my friend, you are as good as dead. You're now a war criminal. The blood of
innocent civilians is most definitely on your hands. We, law-abiding
citizens killed no one. If any of our countrymen are being slaughtered
somewhere in the south, so be it. What else would you like, Mr President,
maybe send more of our children to the next bloodbath? No problem, sir! We
voted for you so how can you possibly be wrong or lie to us? Not a chance!
Did you, my reader, think like that? Or maybe still thinking?
Chehov once said that one must squeeze a slave out of oneself, drop by
drop. It must be added that our rulers should be daily squeezing big bosses
Just look at the map. How can possibly a republic, so small that it's
marked on the map as dot, be threatening Russia's sovereignty? Unless, you
feed and support this motley general, encouraging his fiery speeches. Come
on, he's nothing but a little Fuhrer with the chechen accent. When they
needed Lev Trozhki dead, he was slain like a street dog, in Mexico, with an
ice picker and without any guided missiles. I refuse to believe that this ex
soviet pilot was so smart as to get away.
For a reward, they'll serve you his head on a plate with salad and
mayonnaise. Every one is worth money. If you can't buy a guy, put a hit on
him. That's tricky though, because he might know the key combination to your
bank account in Zurich, or maybe some other dirt on you.
We, like all fine-bred sheep, would again go to the voting tables and
vote for those who'd send us to another bloody "hood wrangle", send our
children to slaughter and force veterans of the Great Patriotic War fetch
empty cans from the rubbish bins.
It's not about communists, democrats, socialists and other masters of
jabbering. These guys are only after our bread and butter. The purpose of
war is to redirect our attention from that stealfest.
Meanwhile the briefing went on, the plan was drafted and presented. The
time has come for us to speak up. Suddenly, San Sanych was called by an RTO
to take an important phone call. All of us kept silent, may be the whole
thing was called off. He came back to the table horrified and sat down with
a helpless look on his face. Com-brig could no longer hold it:
- Just tell us, will you.
- We are receiving intelligence reports, confirmed by the opposition,
that all our captured wounded are being brought up into the palace. We are
to be extremely careful during the assault. Air support was refused, no
"Grads" or "Uhragans" would be provided either and we are to use only our
Complete silence now hung in the room. The only ones to break it were
the sounds of heavy breathing, moving chairs and a sudden loud crunch of
com-brig's pencil. It seemed he didn't even notice that he broke it. He was
still holding the pieces and staring at the wall. Everyone went into stupor.
- We can't go in without artillery or air support, full stop. - Broke
the silence commander of the first battalion.
- We can't use them either. The hostages will die. But they'd die
regardless whether we have support or not - Continued commander of the tank
- Either the spooks will finish them off or we'd stop their sufferings
with an accidental burst, grenade or mortar shrapnel. Same difference. I
wouldn't want to be their murderer in a million years. It's a dead-end
situation. - Third battalion's commander was thinking and talking at the
- We don't stand a chance in a world to even try and save the
prisoners. But attempting to do so we could lose a lot more of our men.
Neither can we ignore the possibility of counterattacks. - Continued
Com-brig's artillery XO.
Before the pause got too long, Com-brig tossed away pieces of his
- Take a ten-minute break. Your men are to be told nothing! After the
break everyone has three minutes to express his opinion on the subject.
All of us poured outside to breathe in some fresh air, take a leak and
have a smoke. While at it, we talked about all the previously mentioned
without the commander.
- We're totally screwed!
- What the hell are they thinking?
- Now, for sure, we'd have to climb those walls like pirates with
- OK, we've got to think men. - It seemed that the tank battalion
commander was not at all concerned with all this hype. He spoke to the art
battalion commanders and the com-brig's XO. Would you be able to get your
howitzers a little closer to the palace?
- I don't think so. The bridges won't handle the load. My
self-propelled cannons are too heavy, too slow and the on-board ammunition
stocks are too small. They'd have to be resupplied constantly. We'd have to
be somewhere close, but not too close, dug in position. Then, we'd shell
over your heads and houses right where you'd want us.
But the tankers' com-batt wasn't listening to him anymore. He was
mumbling something to himself:
- Small stocks... too slow... Revolver! We should pull a "revolver", a
carousel that is. First, infantry goes in, then, our tanks open up. No APCs
though, their calibre's too small.
He called for his chief of staff and they began to draw something. The
time was up and we all went back to the briefing. When everyone was back in
their chairs, com-brig said:
- Gentlemen, all of us understand the present situation. We cannot
attack like this but we cannot also not to attack. I've made calls to Rolin
and our support units. They are giving us the carte blanche. We are to take
the palace at any cost. Please say what you have to say:
Silence hung about the room. The "chief tanker" took the opportunity:
- As I understand it, we cannot use air force and artillery since our
POWs are in the building. Is my notion correct?
- Yes, it is, - confirmed Com-brig.
- How very observant, - Someone giggled at the back.
- Our APCs on the other hand have too smaller calibre weapons and not
enough armour protection, thus are unable to effectively support us from the
required distance. Correct?
- Yes, - Com-brig again confirmed, still however puzzled by the
- Our tanks, although properly armoured and have large enough calibre
weapons, lack ammunition stocks, thus would still be ineffective since they
would run out of ammo relatively quickly. So, as you can see, the problem
here is how to restock them rapidly. Reloading tanks under enemy fire is
surely a suicide; therefore I propose that the tanks do it themselves. I
also suggest a "tank roundabout" to maintain constant bombardment.
- What roundabout?
- Hey, he's got something there!
- Great idea, man!
Almost everyone grasped the general intent proposed by the tanker. He
walked up to the map and began to tell about his plan:
- First, over here, two tanks roll out across the bridge. One of them
maintains rapid fire; the other backs the first one with rare salvos but
mostly is keeping quiet. The third one stands by in the middle of the bridge
and is waiting for his turn. Meanwhile, on our side of the river, at the
bridge's entrance, the forth tank is awaiting action and finally, the fifth
one is reloading back up here. While, having spent all its ammo, the first
tank is returning to our bank of the river to be reloaded, the one on stand
by, on the middle of the bridge, moves in position and opens up. At the same
time the third one, that was at the bridge's entrance moves forward to the
middle. During all these moves, the tank that was stationary and kept silent
now opens fire to keep the pressure on the enemy and prevent them from
destroying the retreating empty tanks. This way we are able to maintain
constant the required density and precision of bombardment and, at the same
time support our infantry. We'd be acting as artillery, so to say. Although
they usually aim at plazas, we, on the other hand, could aim at windows, -
He finished off his speech on this funny note.
- This is bloody great!
- Thank you, - Com-brig shook his hand.
- I also have an idea, - Third battalion's commander stepped forward. -
I suggest we use sewage network to get into the palace.
- Not a bad idea.
- That way we could save our men and maybe even free the hostages.
- What if they set up an ambush? We'd all be dead before we knew it.
- Not bad, but too risky.
- It's a pretty good idea, but we don't really know where the pipes
could lead us. This and the fact that chechens are already actively using
them as the means of approach and retreat while setting up ambushes.
Therefore, there is a good chance that if we do decide to use the sewer
network we could walk into a trap. Thanks for the idea though. I think we
have to blow them up anyway so that the spooks wouldn't pop up at our rear.
- Agreed. - Com-bat said with a sigh of disappointment and settled back
into his chair.
- Any more suggestions, anyone?
More people spoke but no one could propose anything more radical than
the tankers' "roundabout". Storming hotel "Kavkaz" today was already out of
the question and it was agreed with the "North" that we would transfer the
task to the marines. We also came to the decision to pull our men closer to
the HQ and let them rest as much as possible for now. Equipment had to be
readied too. In conclusion, our HR officer, lieutenant colonel Sergey
Nikolaevich Kazarzhev took the opportunity to speak to us.
He was a short fellow (about a meter and sixty-five centimetres tall),
not skinny though but rather muscular. He took part in the Afghan campaign
some years ago back. He wasn't like the rest of the ex Political Officers
brotherhood. He wasn't nasty to other people, nor was he bugging his
superiors with ludicrous stuff, he was just doing his job. He made every
effort to find common ground with men and was widely respected not just for
his Afghan past but also for his people skills.
- Gentlemen, I have just received a phone call from the "North". Two
Moscow commercial banks are about to celebrate their anniversaries. The
money that they saved up for the festivities, they decided to spend on
supplies aid for the military personnel in Chechnya. So, tomorrow we have to
send a truck to the "North" for the packages. Every one of them contains a
track suite, snickers, toiletries, pack of cigarettes, two cans of beer for
offices, two cans of cola for men and some other stuff.
- Not bad!
- Lucky for those who'll be distributing that aid.
- Take more, for wounded and KIAs too!
- Yeah, get more.
- Need a hand?
- Which banks?
- "Menatep" and "In-com", - shouting through the noise answered
- "Menatep", hmmm, sounds like NATO.
- Hey, who is non-smoker? I'll buy them off you.
- Hold on. May be they're "Astra" or "Bum in the mountains".
- Right, they can swap the good ones in the "North".
- Yeah, those guys can swipe anything.
- No, they wouldn't, dare.
- Why would they care? They'd rather start distributing after the
assault; more would be left for themselves.
- Quite! - Com-brig barked through the roar.
The noise suddenly abated.
- Quite! - Repeated Com-brig. - We've all got lots to do. Let's not
waste time, shall we. Questions?
Everyone had many questions, but most of them were rhetorical. Knowing,
that answers most probably would be to "get stuffed" and "go away" no one
ventured to ask any. Everybody walked away discussing the freebees.
Yurka and I came up to Kazanzhev:
- Serega, you won't forget about us when you'll be dealing the
packages, won't you? The most important thing is the cigarettes. May be some
people don't smoke, you know.
- Guys, you're not the first and you're not the last to ask me that.
Give me a break, will you, have conscience.
- Yura, what's he talking about?
- What's that?
- No idea. I know kidney, stomach, liver, but what conscience is I
don't know. How about you?
- Never heard of it.
- Serge, we have an almost absolute monopoly on alcohol around here and
we are, by the way, your neighbours. You can't just tell us off and that's
it. It's not neighbourly.
- Imagine how in good neighbourly spirit we'll be urinating on your
car's tyres and dumping on your porch. Get the picture?
- For the whole duration of this war.
- And we'll keep going like that after the war too. We'll be shitting
on your porch constantly.
- Just imagine, Serge, you're coming out to go to work in the morning
and tumble having slipped on our deifications. All dressed up in sparkling
whites and covered in crap. Wouldn't that be a bummer?
- And all of this because of some pissy cigarettes.
- Slava, I thing we've heard that one before.
- By the way, while you're at the North, find their airport chief,
Sashka, and tell him we said "hi". Also remind him to put more cigarettes in
and something nice. Let him surprise us.
- I don't think he even remembers you.
- Oh, yes he does.
- So, what's it gonna be?
- About what?
- OK, so you choose to skate on shit till you retire. Or may be you'd
just give us more cigarettes and we'll leave you alone. We don't fight
elderly, you know.
- Get stuffed...
- Yura, he has chosen the shit path.
- Obviously. We're starting tonight, immediately. Pashka will be
- I wonder if it was the blind chance that brought the three of you
together from the whole SibVO and stuck you in one cab?
- Why? Not just SibVO, but also UZN and Yurka, for example, is from
SKVO. It's fate you see. Therefore, you, Srgei Nikolayevich, cannot avert
your destiny too.
- Slipping on crap, every day of the week. But all that could've been
- If you had only agreed to give us more cigarettes.
- And if you did, we'd always be happy to see you.
- And we'd tell our kids how wonderful you are. But if you didn't, we'd
also tell them... what an asshole you turned out to be.
- He's obviously not ready to commit yet.
- Don't worry, he'll fall a few times, he'll commit.
- OK, we'll talk tomorrow.
- Oh, you should've said so straight away.
- Wonderful! Good night, Serge.
While walking over to the cab I suddenly realised how tired I was. At
"home" Pashka was all smiles at the dinner table. Having pilled off mud from
our boots (it made them look like ski boots), we barged into the cab.
- And what are you so happy about? Won a prize or something? - Yura
asked him. I was silent though, some thoughts, pretty important, as it
turned out, were circling in my head.
- I heard what you did at the "North"...
- Shut up. Shut up and never tell anybody. Got it? Nothing happened up
there. You understand? - I dryly interrupted him. I had the desire to
neither recall nor discuss the events. - Put out what we've got in your
little stash. We'll go wash our hands.
We left the rifles in the cab and popped out with a pot of warm water.
Hosing ourselves, we washed up thoroughly until the skin could finally
breathe again. We sat down on the porch to light up, letting the night
breeze caress our faces. I had the desire to just sit like this forever and
think of nothing. Just sit and smoke with the heat from my cigarette
stinging my fingers. Serenity it was. Yurka interrupted my jolly mood:
- What was that about?
- So that he doesn't go around blabbering everybody everything.
Whatever happened is now in the past. No use now to jump about, especially
for a grunt. Imagine if we told him what happened, he'd be running around
telling everyone at the HQ. Just let him be sad but silent. I think when
it's all over (God help us to get through), we'll yet stand before a jury of
some kind. You'll see. What is it you sons of bitches were thinking about? A
revolt? So I suggest you shut up too.
- Am I supposed to be scared? Cause I'm not.
- We are not, my young friend, taking part in the Great Patriotic War.
This fight is for somebody else's property. So the owner might one day ask
us if we didn't try to turn his own weapons, people and equipment, entrusted
to us for a while, against himself. Yura, we are participants in such cheap
show that we could just laugh outloud if it wasn't so scary. Do you, by any
chance, know why all THIS is?
- Drop it, Slava. You'll go nuts.
- Too late. If I'm asking these questions, I'm already nuts. - I fished
another cigarette out of the packet, lit it from the butt and tossed it off
into the mud.
- We shall be tossed out just like that butt when the time comes and it
will come, trust me, may be even earlier than we all think. They'll wipe the
floor with us and toss out. And just like you spit after you smoke they'll
spit on us. Don't you forget it. If we could now show our teeth to the
general, we could do it again, could we? And may be even jump at his throat
some day. We're too used to blood and death by now. I, for example, cannot
sleep in silence anymore. But if you fired up artillery or air bombardment,
I'll be asleep in a second.
- Yeah, me too. - Quietly noted Yura.
- Just answer me this simple dumb question. What is nationality?
- What do you mean? - Yura couldn't catch my drift. - You're born with
it. God has given it to you, if you will.
- But if, for example, a chechen infant were brought to France. All his
life his parents would hide the fact that he's chechen from him. They would
give him their surname, good education, first in a good school and later in
a university. All cultured up in their little French surroundings. So who is
he? OK, if it's easier for you, imagine it was a Russian child. (Pity it
wasn't me). So Yura, what do think, WHO is he?
- French, I guess, - Yura wasn't particularly confident.
- So, you see - nationality is not biological, it is a rather social
concept. Evidently, people invented this problem, this national criterion so
that they can tell other people apart and now they are using it to bump us
against each other. Remember the romans: "divide and conquer"? Do you also
remember the soviet times, when they proclaimed everyone equal? They also
sent Russians to serve their term in the military at the outskirts of the
empire, whereas Muslims would always get to do theirs in one of the Baltic
republics and Baltic people always went to Ukraine and Moldova? That was
done for a purpose, so that if a revolt breaks out they wouldn't hesitate to
shoot at strangers. And political officers would keep that fire burning at
- What about patriotism? Loyalty to your motherland?
- Yes, motherland, - Yurka was jubilant. The question was in fact a
- What is motherland, Yura? - I calmly asked him. - I'm not a Jew or a
gipsy, or some nomad. Explain to me what motherland is. What do YOU mean by
that? Once before, our soldiers called out: "for God, Tsar and the
country!", then "for Motherland and Stalin!" and now what, "for Motherland
and President!" or "Motherland and Grachin!". - I spewed. - May be in about
twenty years from now they'll make a movie how grunts march at machinegun
nests with that idiotic cry. As Grachin once said: "the boys died smiling".
I'd like to pump a 7.62 in his belly and see how he would smile to me. So,
what is it, motherland? Is it the president, who fucked it al up and then
dipped us into this burning shit? I don't even have a word in my file about
this. Would motherland that loves her sons send them to their deaths?
Couldn't they kill the bustards from a distance? You know? Of course they
could. And all of us, with the whole world, would applaud at the precision
of that surgical operation. They could do anything but this. Unless you're
on the same team with Dudaev. Patriotism? Hah. Oscar Wild once said that
patriotism is the bastard's last sanctuary. The paradox is that I really
love Russia. I love the country but I hate the government. So this paradox
bears hatred for the whole meaning of the word "motherland". It's tough to
live in a country that you hate.
- So why do you fight? And, I think, you're pretty good at it too.
- Stop kissing my ass, will you. I don't know. Maybe I'm defending my
motherland. God knows why. It's paradox or a mental case. You see it's just
too easy here, like black and white. Like Indians and confederate soldiers.
We're defending our homeland that they are trying to tear apart. I don't
know, I think I'm going nuts. You know this joke when a general arrives at
the barracks to inspect them. He's walking around, checking things out and
stuff. Then suddenly he says to the barracks' commander: "It's too gloomy
around here, could you paint the fence in all colours of the spectrum?" The
commander: "Yes sir!" So they walk further. General goes again: "And arrange
the beds in a chess order, I think it's kinda happier looking that way." The
commander again: "yes sir, general sir!" So the general's finally saying to
him: "Do you have your own opinion on anything at all? To every single
bullshit I propose all you can say is yes sir." But commander suddenly
answers: "I do have my own opinion but I don't have enough years in the
service, otherwise I would've told you to shove your orders up your ass, sir
general sir!" The story of my life, Yura. Not enough years in the service to
happily retire. Otherwise I wouldn't have had this split personality.
- Maybe you have to go see a shrink or something?
- Yeah, and he's going to explain to me what the word "motherland"
means and why exactly I'm here. And while he's at it, he can also try and
explain to me why we cannot blow the shit out of the oil refinery. But
hands, my hands, Yura, are shaking with desire. Just in spite. To pull some
pretty ugly joke on someone. The problem is that I don't think they'll be
restoring it out of their own pockets. Most probably out of the state's
budget. By the way, Yura, are you aware of the fact that our air force,
first and foremost, bombed the shit out of the local finance ministry?
- I am aware of that. So what?
- I can bet you that at this very moment they are bombing not the
palace, not the spooks' barracks, not their ammo depots, but the Chechen
- Very unlikely. - Yura wasn't sure, - However, they could, you know.
First the ministry and then bank. Logically, they are letting the reg-heads
know about the assault. Bastards!
- That's exactly what I'm talking about. So, Yura, what is motherland?
- Get stuffed. You bloody sophist. You should've become a political
- My dad was an ex-serviceman. Therefore I have this unshakable
antipathy for political officers. But sometimes, you know, there can be
descent people amongst them. Rarely though.
- OK, let's go eat. Shall we get pissed tonight?
- I'd be happy to, but I don't think I can. Moreover, it was a crazy
day. Remember we had about 500 grams of liqueur each, with only some chicken
to chase it with, and it had no effect on any of us.
- Yep, - Yurka grimly spewed. - What a life, hah? You want to get drunk
but you can't. When I come home, I'll get totally shitfaced and dive
facedown in salad.
- Yep, salad it is. Up to your ears. Just watch the air supply.
So we laughed. When you ask yourself questions that you cannot possibly
answer, all you can do is relax, go with flow and hold on to your partner.
As we made our way inside the cab, Pashka has already set up the table and
placed an open bottle of vodka in the middle.
- Any more cognac left?
- So put it out, will ya. Cheer up, man.
Yurka looked at me reproachfully. It was pretty clear - no one could
tell if we ever get another chance to drink it later, but his look was
articulate enough to blame me for having a go at the fellow for my own
Pashka left the Vodka where it was and pulled out the cognac. I opened
the bottle and poured it out into almost full glasses. I had a raging desire
to get drunk.
- Let's go! - I lifted my plastic cup.
Others followed my example and bumped their "cups" together. They
rustled and the dark liquid inside them waved when we cheered. I capsized my
glass and heavy syrupy liquid streamed down my stomach and spread out in
there with worm sensation. I closed my eyes for a moment. The next moment we
started eating. This meal was a silent one. There was nothing we could say
or do. Everything was already decided and signed off. So what's the point? I
could probably draw a request for discharge but the thought of that never
even occurred to me at that stage.
We were chewing quickly and when the warmth inside my stomach began to
disappear I poured out whatever was left of cognac. Yurka quickly grabbed
- Are we just having a drunken orgy or we actually have a reason? Any
- No, we are just having a meal, but if you feel like saying something,
be my guest. But please make it short, I don't usually like to have my
cognac warm or vodka for that matter.
- I would like to make a toast, - began Yura, - to God. He's been on
our side so far and I think I'm speaking for everyone at this table when I
say that I hope he won't leave us now and that we somehow make it out of
- So that in a few years we could get ourselves into a new one... - I
barged in the middle of his toast and continued for him.
- May be we will, but we're here now and maybe tomorrow will have to
storm Minutka, so I ask God to give us strength and bring us luck. To good
- Yura, do you realise that you're in the army now?
- Yeah, so?
- So, so. In the army we have this thing called subordination. But you,
over your commander's head, are speaking directly to God. That might go on
your permanent record.
- Get stuffed idiot! - Yurka exhaled air from his lungs and pumped in
Both, Pashka and myself did the same. Something moved inside my head.
Am I really getting pissed?! What a wonderful feeling. I was afraid I could
spook this delicate state away and was thus just sitting there motionless.
The alcohol was actually having effect on me and it was growing too.
- Slava, are you alright?
- Yeah, yeah, I'm fine - I opened my eyes, - Bastard, you scared it
My head was back to normal by now:
- Shit, man!
- Scared what off? - My partner asked me stupefied.
- The grogginess, you moron. I'm sitting there, enjoying myself and now
you've destroyed it.
- I just saw you with that thousand mile look in your eyes, I though
you choked or something. Sorry, man, won't happen again. You might still
catch it, you know.
- Yeah, you try to catch it, - I was really annoyed, - But I can surely
I picked up the bottle of vodka that Pashka left on the table and
poured it out in cups. Yurka and I weren't chasing it with food anymore. May
be now, mixing the two, I could get a little pissed. I stood up holding the
cup in front of me.
- The third one.
- The third one, - said Yurka.
- The third, - echoed us Pashka.
Having stood like this for a while we drunk the vodka in silence and
almost simultaneously sat back in our chairs and started slowly getting back
into the meal.
- Is that true we'll have to take Minutka head-on? - Pashka asked with
his mouth full.
- Yes, sonny boy, it is, - I answered. I knew he couldn't stand when we
called him "sonny". And sure enough it enraged him this time:
- I'm not your sonny boy! I'm about to have my own sonny.
Then he added:
- Or maybe daughter. So please don't call me "sonny boy".
- You don't have to have a genius IQ to make one, Pasha, it's a ten
minute job, but a lifetime of heavy labour afterwards. Look at you, for
example, we tried really hard to make a person out of you, but yet achieved
- Why is it nothing? - Pashka was getting furious.
- You drink too much; respect for elders is a bit of a problem too. And
we treat you like family, you know. I think we should try and be stricter
from now on. What do you think Slava?
- Yep, I guess we should use something more radical this time. Why did
you get the sentry all drunk back on the train? A pissed guard with an
assault rifle is a criminal. Which makes you, my friend, an accessary.
- Accessary to what?
- To a criminal act, dummy. Back in 1937 you would've been charged with
sabotage and next step would've been the firing squad. All nice and quick,
according to the martial law. ...A lead stamp in the back of the head, 9 mm
in diameter. - I touched his occiput, which executioners usually aimed at
and Pashka twitched.
- That is a really dumb joke, Vechaslav Nikolaevich.
I lit up. Yurka and Pashka followed my example.
- Right, Pasha, - I started, - while we're absent...
- And where would you go? - Interrupted me Pavel.
- Down the basement, to hide, - I came back at him. - Don't interrupt
senior citizens, would you. We'll most probably go with the battalions. You,
son of a bitch, are responsible for the cab and everything inside it. You
guard it with you life. If anything happens, you... - I stopped him, already
opening his mouth, with a gesture, - You will return all of it to our
families. You've got it? As for the cab, if anything happens to it, I'll
screw your head off and make it look like you were born like this. Did you
understand everything I just said?
- Yeah, yeah. It's a hundredth time you're telling me all this. By the
way, there isn't much to guard in there besides your dirty socks.
- By the way you might want to wash them then.
- Yeah, right, - Pashka snorted.
- You will, I'm telling you. You'll be washing them and crying while
- Even if I do cry, it will be because the stench from them is
- Pasha, - Yura interrupted his speech, - we now have this ritual:
whenever we've got to go about our dangerous business, we tell you what to
do with our dirty stuff. But since you're not so keen on taking on the task
of washing it, you might as well be busily praying God so that he guides us
through successfully, so that you, in turn, wouldn't have to wash the stuff
in case something happens. By the way, have you forgotten what they smell
like, our socks?
- Yeah, like I ever knew! When I was "green", I'd never wash the
"vet's" socks. I'm not about to start now. - Pashka was boiling.
His anger only encouraged us.
- Pasha, you know when a person is dying; his last will is the law. You
might've heard about it.
- Yeah, so?
- So, - my tone turned declamatory. - Our last will, when we die, you
must wash our socks, press them and return to our families. One pair from
each of us you may keep for yourself. As a memory. You might want to hang
them on the wall above you bed.
- But you're not dying yet.
- But what if...
- I'm not going to wash nothing! - Pashka turned grim.
- OK, OK, we're joking, man. Don't be sad. Better yet pour out the
remains, will ya.
He thoroughly poured out last of the vodka equally amongst three cups.
We patiently waited until last drops fell into his glass. We were actually
- Twenty-two, - said Yura, breaking the silence.
- I've heard somewhere that it is possible to squeeze out thirty-three
drops from any bottle. - I added to the conversation.
We picked up our plastic cups.
- Welcome to the brand new day. What's it going to be? - Asked us Yura.
- Fuck knows. - Pashka answered for everyone.
- Whatever happens let it be. And let's drink to that, shall we. To
good fortune and her majesty fate! - I said the toast.
- That's right! - Yura supported me, - To fate and fortune.
Then he added, almost to himself, but we all heard him clearly:
- We must be prepared for death. Although, let us hope to avoid it, -
and drank his share.
- What you just said is right. We must be prepared so that the death is
not fully unexpected. We must finish the deeds we have started and not make
any big debts so that our families don't end up having to pay them off. Let
us hope to avoid all this, - I repeated his words and finished off my cup.
Pashka drank his too and we ate some more out of the almost empty
plates and cans in silence. Then we lit up again but now in a definitely
better mood than before. The coming day did not seem so dark anymore.
- What was it you were talking about, the deeds and stuff? - Pashka
asked me, taking a deep puff out of his cigarette.
- Jesus said it right before his death, talking to his father. He knew
he was about to die and he was scared. So just in case he asked him not to
do it. - I explained to him. - When you've got time, read The Bible, Pasha.
You'll find a lot of interesting stuff in there.
- Ah, a book... - stretched Pashka.
- Read, Pasha, read. Wisdom of centuries of generations is in books
like that. You see, you can't just live according to your own experiences.
What would you teach your son? Which life examples are you going to tell him
about? Whose life? Yours? But you haven't seen much besides the constant
booze. Is that what you'd teach him? How to drink? Or how to get a sentry
pissed? - Yurka obviously had a philosophical twirl up his ass.
- Yura, don't twist his brain, - I interrupted his lecture. - At least
he won't become a schizophrenic.
- Why is that?
- Back in the military college I had a girlfriend, she was majoring in
medicine. So she told me once that on a psychology lecture she heard that if
a person does not read books, it is very unlikely that he or she would ever
suffer from schizophrenia. Because when you read a book you do in your mind
everything the characters do. You suffer, love, hate, and fight like they
do. This way his or her personality is replicated onto yourself and then you
have got your personality also deviated. Then something else happens which I
can't remember because it was all medical terms.
- Hmmm, you're right, you know. Pashka is certainly unlikely to suffer
from schizophrenia. But alcohol poisoning is definitely a possibility. -
Yura signed off on his resume.
- If, while we're absent, they'll be dispensing the aid, you come to
the brigade's political officer, lieutenant colonel Kazartsev and tell him
we sent you. Then you pick up the aid for yourself and us. If we come back
and you, bastard, drank our beer, you'd better hang yourself. You know our
sizes, don't you? I'll write them down once again, just in case. The most
important thing is the cigarettes, he should give you more of those. If he
forgets, remind him that he promised them to us. Understood?
- Yep. How much more cigarettes?
- I don't know, but we hope a lot. Don't worry, you'd be smoking them
too. Have we ever deprived you of anything?
- Nope, never.
- You see. We're struggling to feed you and you, bastardo, don't even
want to wash our socks! - Yura started the "socks" talk again.
- I'm not going to wash your socks! - Pashka exploded.
- Don't you yell at officers or I might want to mess up that pretty
little face of yours. - Said Yura to his rage. - We'll pop out for a leak.
You clean up in here, will ya, and think about the socks. Air out the cab so
that we could get some sleep, I can't see the palm of my hand.
- I'm not going to wash your socks! - Not as loud as before, but still
as angry, Pashka said through his teeth.
- Why are you winding him up? - I asked Yura, lighting up and standing
next to him.
- Bored, - simply said Yura.
- No, it seems something is eating you on the inside.
- Nothing is eating me on the inside. I just can't get that speech of
yours about the motherland out of my head. What's motherland?
- Oh, so you've got it now too. So what is motherland?
- As I said before, get stuffed!
- No, no, no. Don't tell me to get stuffed. You answer the question.
- You should've asked about the meaning of life.
- No Yura. Nobody knows that for sure, but you should know about the
- You're right about one thing though. Motherland and government are
two totally different things.
- No, motherland and state.
- Yeah, it's OK when your country is of only one culture, like Israel,
- But what about the States. It's like a bloody Babylon in there and
they're all fine, all understand each other. No one wants to create an
independent state on the territory of, say, Texas. Why? Because they have
work over there. If you're not a bum, you live like a human being.
- That's right. By comparison, we're like walking backwards.
- OK, let's just drop this subject shall we. No use would come out of
it anyway and Pashka's already gone bananas.
- Yeah, that's for sure. Let's shoot? - Yura pulled a few signal
rockets out of his pocket.
- Let's do it! - I took a couple from him.
Having split up, we walked some distance away from each other, then
lifted the rockets and fired them, jerking the trigger cords. Almost
simultaneously two claps boomed in the air and the hissing rockets raced
into the night skies. Once at the end of their journeys they popped open
with lights and slowly started their descend back down to earth. The guards
also periodically launched these rockets, thus everything around here was
illuminated by this dead artificial light. All things had unusual, funny
looking sharp shadows. When you fire those rockets it seems like Christmas
back home. Every time, on the New Year's eve, I brought home some of these
rockets from the garrison and after the midnight we all came out of the
house and launched them. We were so happy, me and my son. The same feeling
of happiness for some reason overwhelmed me right now. I chucked off the
empty shell and picked up another rocket. Without waiting for Yura I fired
it into skies again. Heavy smell of the burnt gunpowder hung in the air.
Yura was catching up fast.
- Let's go get some sleep? - I asked Yura after the last rockets faded.
- Let's have the last cigarette and that's it for today. - My partner
said back to me.
We lit up and just sat there in silence.
- You think they'll send us together? - Yura broke the silence.
- I don't know. Maybe. Who knows.
- They might stick us into the second battalion until they find a
replacement for their chief of operations.
- Nah, they've got plenty of good company commanders there. Really,
there is no shortage of people in our brigade, who would like to become a
chief of Ops.
- Not really, but not many of them have enough experience to be one.
- You think they'll let you command the Ops?
- Maybe. It won't be you, that's for sure. You are the interaction
- Yep, we'll see.
- Imagine the guys in battalions are now busting their balls, getting
equipment and people ready. Verifying the details of the operation, people
and ammunition. Isn't it wonderful we no longer have to do this? The worst
position in the army is a company commander. They are running around like
- That's right. There is a good joke about it. Only it's about the
Navy, but still pretty relevant. They summon this old submarine captain to
the HQ of submarine operations and tell him: "We would like to introduce new
privileges to the sub crew members. What do you think about that?" The
captain, old sea dog, says "Fine, I think it's about time". So the HQ chief
again says "we would like to increase you wages, housing quota, holidays and
family leave. We are thinking when the shore-based servicemen find out about
it, they'll die of jealousy. What do you think?" The captain says: "Yeah,
that's right, but still, when the first one of them dies, could you put me
in his spot." Same goes for us, whatever privileges they promise company or
platoon leaders, we must stay away from these posts.
- OK, let's go. Tomorrow is going to be a hard day.
- Yeah, who knows when we'd be able to catch a descent sleep. You know,
Slava, you're such a bastard.
- Why is that?
- With your dumb motherland questions. My head is spinning.
- But I've let it all out and feel much better now. Let the others
suffer. You, for example.
- That's what I said, bastard.
- Don't worry about it too much. Take it easy and forget for now. If
we'll live through, we'll talk afterwards. In the nearest future, I think we
might have to lay off such conversations. Let the reflexes work for now.
- True, let the nerve system labour. I feel for the boys though. Lots
of them will probably stay here forever.
- "Nineteen year olds forever", like Baklanov wrote.
- OK. Let's go or you'll start it again.
We came up to the cab, tossed the butts out and walked in. While we
were out, Pashka cleaned up and was already in bed.
- You're not on the guard duty tonight?
- No. I'm on tomorrow during the day.
- Wow, what a fluke? Who's going to guard my sleep tonight?
- It's your sleep, so you guard it.
- You're being an asshole again, Pasha. I guess we should make you dig
a foxhole... for your horse and you together.
- Yep, that's right. You let your tongue run free too often these days.
- How big would the horse's hole be?
- Three meters high.
- Three meters? There are no such horses.
- Sure there are. Have you been to Moscow? There is statue of Yuriy
Dolgorukiy there. His horse is about that big. So you'll be digging a
foxhole for his horse and himself if you don't keep your mouth shut.
- Yeah, sure. - Grumbled Pashka, turning away. He knew we could make
him do it if he got to us.
All we took off was our boots and socks. The rest we kept on and only
loosened our belts a little. My AK was on the floor, next to my bed, Yurka
hung his on the wall above his head. A few hand-grenades went under my
pillow. I chambered a round in my captured suppressed Makarov, put it back
on "safety" and stashed it under the matrass on the same level as my waist.
Now we can try and catch some sleep. Pity, I didn't get pissed tonight.
Yurka, bastard, got in the way, but I'll get back at him tomorrow. I
unscrewed the light bulb above my head and everything sank into darkness. To
sum it all up for today I declared:
- At ease, boys.
So one more long day of this war was over. God and fate allowed me to
stay alive this one more day. Let's hope they won't change their minds
later. All my life in the past didn't mean much any more because tomorrow we
would have to go and try that suicidal assault at the Minutka. God, please
give me guidance! After this appeal to God I finally fell asleep.
© Copyright 2001 translation by Marta Malinovskaya and Konstantin S.Leskov
We split a bottle of vodka among all the officers including companies'
commanders, gobbled some ice-frozen canned beef. Meanwhile, our artillery
finished pounding Chechen positions. The roar of bombers ceased two minutes
later. Silence fell interrupted only by an occasional riffle cracking and
machine gun fire.
"Comrade lieutenant-colonel!" A soldier emerged from the battalion
commander's APC. "Order from the "twenty second" (it was the brigade
commander's code): five-five-five".
"Tell him: understood!" Battalion commander ran to his vehicle. We
followed him. Tank crews and officers of the second battalion also rushed to
their armored vehicles. A block before Minutka square our reconnaissance
unit soldiers stopped us and told that they succeeded in pushing the "dukhs"
from the bridge on our side, but the Chechens consolidated their position in
the middle of the bridge and on the other bank. It seemed like the bridge
was not mined, but I would not bet on it. Infantry jumped from the APCs and
waited for a command hiding behind the vehicles and ruins. Tanks had
arrived. It was agreed that infantry would go ahead with tanks following
fifty meters behind.
The Battalion Commander was in the head of his advancing unit, breaking
all instructions to stay behind during the attack. My buddy Yura and I had
no choice but to follow him. Sneaking through destroyed buildings, covering
short distances in each run, we reached the bridge. Our scouts were barely
holding the violent push of the "dukhs". A fortified stockade made of
concrete blocks had been erected in the middle of the bridge. "Dukhs" were
pouring our bank heavily with lead from behind of it not allowing us to
raise a head. Chechen mortars started covering us with shells. At first they
fired randomly, shells went into water, but after some corrections they
started to explode closer and closer and hit our bank. In addition "dukhs"
began shooting at us from grenade launchers. Reverberation was unbearable.
The bellow of mortar shells increased. Bullets were constantly knocking at
concrete blocks, which served us as a cover.
There were first casualties. In the first company, where Yura and I
were, a shell exploded very close to us, and a large fragment of it tore a
half of soldier's head off. The body was lying belly down, a half of the
neck was absent and another half bent to the right under the weight of what
was left of the head. Blood was gushing from the devastated artery staining
the wall red. Another soldier crawled to the dead, not to help, but to take
off a chain with his personal number from the torn neck and to pull
documents from the inner pocket of the uniform. When this guy turned the
dead on his back, corpse's hands trembled grasping his assault rifle as if
he did not want to part with it.
I switched my attention back to "dukhs". Chechens accumulated more
force on their side. An APC arrived to support them. We heard clanging and
engine roar from the back. It was ours tanks. They could have come earlier.
The front tank spat out a shell without good aiming. The projectile flew far
above "dukh's" heads and exploded somewhere behind them. Second shot came
closer. It scattered a crowd of "dukhs". Several bodies remained still on
the ground. Few more were screaming and squirming in pain. Mortar shelling
ceased, as well as automatic rifle fire. Battalion commander ordered:
"Second company! Podstwolniks ready! Fire! First and third companies
forward!" He jumped out of his hiding place and, ushering other people, ran
ahead being bent almost to the ground. We followed him screaming and cursing
on top of our lungs. Yurka and I blended with this rushing wave. Grenades
from the podstwolniks rustled over our heads. Shrapnel from the exploded
grenades clicked and banged on the bridge and on the other bank of the
river. Tank cannons thundered behind us. Their shells dispersed Chechen
infantry. "Dukhs" backed up from the bridge and hid behind a burned tank.
Mortar shelling resumed. The howl of flying missiles drove me crazy even
more then the noise from explosions. It I felt the air vibrating, hitting my
eardrums, already callous from explosions. My will was paralyzed. The howl
of falling shells made me feel that I knew which one was sent to hound me. I
could almost imagine it falling down on me and tearing me into hundreds of
pieces and scattering them around. I forced myself back to reality.
The second company pulled closer to us. Radio told us that the first
and the third battalions arrived and were ready to support us with fire
during the bridge takeover. A minute later, the cannons of BMPs which
belonged to two fresh battalions joined the chorus of tanks and
Kalashnikovs. Rifle's voices of the first battalion sounded like dogs'
barking, accompanied by more substantial large caliber shots of the third.
"Dukhs" almost stopped responding. The opposite bank was cloaked in
dust from shell and grenade explosions. It seamed as if we could feel this
thick air with our hands. Teeth were grinding dust. My throat was sore from
the gas from burned explosives and some other crap in the air. My eyes were
watered. But horror of the first minutes of the battle started to pass away.
Blood was pounding in my temples, sweat was dropping from under the helmet.
I unbuttoned my coat and weakened the buckle of the armored vest. Then I
rolled over to my back, fished out a pack of cigarettes, matches and lit the
cigarette. Yurka, who was next to me, reached out his hand asking for a
smoke. I shared my cigarette with him. Talking in this hellish roar was
absolutely impossible. I inhaled cigarette smoke and did not feel its taste;
just bitterness mixed with gunpowder gases and nicotine. My experience told
me that in five-ten minutes this cacophony would end and we would have to
attack running, crawling on that bridge. I don't want to! I want to lie down
and stare at the sky. A fragment of a prayer came up to my mind. I could not
remember it all. The most important - go onward and survive. Following our
Battalion Commander's order, the fire shifted deeper into the "dukh's"
defensive line. BMPs calmed down to avoid hitting us. Chief shouted,
"Forward! Hurraaah!" People sprinted forward from their hiding places. I ran
too. "dukhs" opened fire. Someone screamed on my right. Ahead of me a
soldier stumbled on invisible obstacle and was thrown back with his arms
wide spread. His Kalashnikov fell under my feet, I stepped on it and almost
slipped. Passing I glanced on the body. The groin was torn. Pants swelled
from blood, open eyes were looking at the sky without blinking. "Gone", a
thought flew in my brain. I felt terror again. A taste of blood in my mouth
returned. Dreadful, very dreadful. My legs felt as if were made of cotton. I
screamed something unintelligible. Yelled, screamed from horror. Lord God,
help! Help me to survive!
We were not too far from the bridge. Here it is, littered with
fragments of concrete, bricks, wrapped in barbed wire. Thirty men ahead of
us got out on the bridge. The other side opened heavy fire. First ten people
fell down, two of them were still moving, trying to crawl back. The rest
backed up and hid behind the ruins of the former "dukh's" stockade.
I flopped down too and crept behind a piece of concrete, stuck out my
automatic and gave a short burst in the direction of "dukh's" bank, then
looked back. All other officers were slightly behind. That meant that I
would be in charge here. Trying to over cry thunder of the battle, I yelled
that someone should drag the wounded back from the bridge. Soldiers ahead of
me nodded showing that they understood. Two of them crawled forward and the
rest opened fire to cover them. Seeing that the help is coming, the wounded
tried to crawl in our direction, but seemingly, were not able to move well.
Battalion commander appeared from behind and wheezed in my ear,
"You are a good runner, Slava."
"I would run back even faster", I answered.
"Isn't it creepier than it was at the airport of Severny here?"
"Exactly. I only wish not to let them blow up the bridge."
"For that, Slavyan, we need to take over it as soon as possible," and
he shouted again. "Forward! Forward, guys!"
Soldiers started getting out of their hiding holes despite the danger
of being killed by bombs. Battalion commander jumped from behind of a
concrete slab and ran forward. I followed him. The advance guard got on the
bridge again. Those who were retrieving the wounded rose and joined the
others. I got on the bridge, it was whistling and roaring around. "Dukhs"
shifted the mortar fire. Strong thunder came. I fell then sat up examining
myself. Everything was fine, except I couldn't hear a thing. I flapped at
one ear with open palm as if knocking the water out. It didn't help. Deaf
curtain separated me from the world. It had to be a concussion. A strong air
wave whipped my eardrums and popped them outside in, nothing terrible. It
would pass over. I looked where the shell exploded. I remembered four people
running ahead of me. Where were they? Right there. Devastated bodies of four
soldiers were lying on the bridge. Apparently, they had taken all shrapnel
as if they guarded me from it, at least so far. I felt sick and through up
partially from the concussion, partially from the view of mutilated bodies.
My fear contributed to it. I spat some bail out.
Surprisingly, deafness passed over with vomit. I started to hear
sounds. People ran by me. Some fell and moved no more. I was sitting like a
fool by the puddle of my own puke feeling good. I was alive! I had nasty
bitter taste in my mouth and was thirsty. I found my flask and took a sip. I
spat it out immediately because me friend Pashka had filled it with brandy.
I exhaled and made another sip. Head slowly cleared. All right, let's get
out of here. I could not leave the battle field with concussion, that would
be dishonest. I looked again at the remains of the soldiers, who took my
Forward! Forward! Thoughts were mixed up still. I got up as if
breaching through a thick cotton pad . It was difficult to keep upright. But
I kept telling myself that everything was fine. It would pass over in an
hour. It was not my first concussion. You cure it with shameless vodka
drinking. Everything would be all right. Forward! I stubbornly made several
steps then stopped and looked around. Soldiers were lying down ahead of me,
in the middle of the bridge. Like a scarecrow, I was standing behind them
and shaking. It was my luck that I still had not been shot. I found a spot
where I could stand upright without problem. Then on half-bent, still infirm
legs, I ran toward my comrades. Forward. Forward... About ten meters short
from them I flopped down and started to crawl. After reaching ours
positions, I leaned against a concrete fragment. Soldiers, who were just
ahead of me, looked back and shouted something, but my brain refused to
comprehend. Judging by their approving and encouraging gestures, it was
something good. They figured that my hearing was impaired and lifted their
thumbs up. I nodded and yelled back:
"It's just a concussion"
Tanks began to shoot above our heads. Hostile fire faded and we went
forward again. Now I was dragging myself somewhere in the middle of the
attack group. I was afraid of firing because I could shoot our own guys.
Soldiers of the first battalion had already taken over the bridge. It was
ours at last. From now on, the main task was to keep it. I looked back.
"Dukhs" employed strong mortar fire to force the first battalion to move
back. There were only soldiers from our battalion on the enemy's bank. The
bridge was covered with corpses, I counted about fifty . Fifty died for
hundred and fifty meters of bridge. It was a horrible math. Companies of the
first battalion took the wounded with them.
"Dukhs" continued pounding bridge with shells and, at the same time,
started to shoot at us. They released a smoke-screen, which was a sign of
their coming attack. There was enough smoke even without it. Chief's order
was spread: "Get podstwolniks ready. Fire!" We started to shoot at the
swelling black cloud with grenades. Some soldiers, who did not have
podstwolniks, sprayed the smoke with long bursts from their semiautomatic
weapons. I heard screaming of wounded coming from the cloud as well as from
the our side. They were followed by clanging of tracks from behind the
smoke-screen. It was either a tank or a BMP. It began to pound our
positions. Random rocks and concrete fragments provided bad cover from
shells. Roar came from the above. Those were our planes. It looked as if the
sky opened and poured down bombs. Have you ever been under bombing? No? God
blessed you. Bombs, five hundred kilos of metal and explosives each, are
approaching the ground with debilitating howl. The roar of mortar shells is
a sweet serenade in comparison with it. Aviation bomb howl paralyzes the
body with horror, makes every cell of your body resonate. Thoughts go away
and you are lying just like a piece of meat, trembling from fear and
awaiting your death. Everything human leaves your body, you become a
trembling beast. People said that many of our soldiers had been killed by
our own aviation, but I myself had not been under friendly fire yet. First
bomb exploded far ahead. Apparently, it induced panic among Chechens,
because their fire from behind the smoke-screen stopped. A shook wave came
from the explosion. It engulfed us with horrible thunder and hot air. It
felt as if this roaring atmosphere was going to rip off my uniform, break my
ribcage, tear my mouth and cheeks. Eardrums would collapse. Blood was
already dripping out of my ears. A hail of small stones descended on us.
Someone was yelling. I looked there. A soldier was rolling on the ground,
holding hands on his eye. Blood was streaming between the fingers. A
paramedic was crawling toward him. Soldiers who were next to the wounded
grabbed the unfortunate and pressed strongly against the ground. One gave
him a water bottle, another ripped his uniform to bare a forearm. Then he
took a tube with painkiller from a medical kit and made an injection. I did
not watch the rest. Judging by the noise, pilots were about to make a second
barrage. That terrible, paralyzing howl started again. It was increasing.
Following my instincts, I squeezed myself into earth and listened the
silence that followed. Everybody was waiting where, whose chance would be to
meet with Madam Death.
An explosion happened unexpectedly close, on the left flank of our
battalion. A hail of stones showered us again. It was strange, but after all
these blasts, my hearing restored. The world of sounds rushed into my brain.
A buzz in my head had not passed yet, but I tried not to pay any attention
to it. I looked in the direction of the explosion. There was a huge crater,
about ten meters in diameter. Around it... Scattered around it were body
parts of our soldiers who happened to be close to epicenter. Smoke was
rising from the crater. There was an acrid smell, a mixture of explosives,
charred meat and burned wool. It made me sick again. Like a wave, nausea
came and rolled back. I tried to remember how many people were there. It
turned out that at least a platoon and a half. About fifty people. Oh, my
God! We had lost hundred people already and still had not strengthened our
grip on this bank! I heard Battalion Commander shouting obscenities into a
radio set. He was not using any code names, screw the discipline! He was
simply yelling into the microphone: "Recall those plains! Recall those
Goddamn plains, you whore! These faggots killed half of my battalion! Recall
immediately! I cannot hold it with my people! Why? Ask those bastards who
don't give a shit where they drop their bombs! Thank them for me! Recall
those perverts! I need support! I'm starting to dig in. Dukhs will attack in
a moment. Did you recall the plains? Good job! I'm not sure, but I think I
have more than a hundred "two-hundredths" and about sixty "hundredths". What
am I to do with them? Get me some help! I need paramedics and evacuators.
Some of my wounded are non-transportable. If no help comes, I'm out of here.
Get me some support and not like this one from the air, you jerk. The real
support! They promised vaunted paratroopers and marines! Where are those
scoundrels? Ask Severny where they are! Ask Khankala. I'm done talking. Fuck
off! Come here and you'll see why I've got no time to waist on you!"
"Dukhs" opened massive dense fire at us and at the opposite bank.
Mortars and BMP cannons hit us again. Their podstwolniks, Kalashnikovs and
machine guns did not idle either. With infuriating noise, bullets and
shrapnel plunged continuously into asphalt in front of our weak shelter
grinding bricks and concrete fragments. Squeaking of ricocheting bullets was
exasperatingly loud. The air became hot from the amount of metal bodies in
it. I heard again the shouts and moaning of freshly wounded.
Mechanic clanging came from behind. We looked back. Two our tanks drove
on the bridge and started shooting. "Dukhs" cut their zeal and transferred
all fire on them. Now it was our turn to attack. Chief ordered again:
"Forward!" We left our wounded waiting for assistance and rushed ahead. It
was so smoky that we could not see a thing on that square. We spread in a
chain, shooting randomly from hips into the smoke. Eyes were watery from
gunpowder gases. Forward! Only forward! I was screaming together with
others. Some were shouting "Hurrah!" some cursing, "Sons of the bitches!
Death to sons of the bitches!" I simply screamed with my mouth wide open
"Aaaaah!" It helped to stay cool. Adrenaline was raging in blood. I could
have head the world record in running beaten. Suddenly an automatic fire
came from the behind of the smoke screen. Chechens shot the same way as we
were doing, long bursts from hips. Apparently, they had allowed us to come
closer deliberately. We dropped down. It was suicidal to lie on the open
square. I rolled over, then again. Aha, here was a chunk of some wall. I
flattened myself against it bruising my shoulder. Then I began firing back.
The distance between us and the enemy was no more than fifteen meters,
but they had unquestionable advantage. They were hidden behind the walls
whereas we were with butts up in the middle of the square. My assault rifle
clicked and shut up, it was out of ammunition at a wrong time as usual. The
attached clips were empty too. I raised the barrel of my Kalashnikov and put
a grenade into the launcher. It would be better to shoot from the knee, but
I had no choice. I pressed the trigger with my left hand finger. Detonator
exploded and grenade flew toward the enemy. It went too far. I corrected the
aiming. Another grenade went into the launcher and the trigger was pulled.
While the grenade was flying, I swiftly detached the empty clip and pushed
the paired new one in. Thunder came from the behind. I looked back. Fuck!
"Dukhs" hit both our tanks. They were engulfed in flames. Cartridges were
cracking. Soon shells would explode. Yes, a moment later, deafening
explosion thundered, followed by another one. Tanks' towers flew off. Almost
synchronously, they slowly, very slowly went up in the air and, turning over
and over, flew in the opposite directions. The first tower fell into the
water with a loud splash, the second dropped on our side of the river. What
was left of tanks continued to burn. The body of the first one split right
in the middle. Cartridges were still bursting in flames.
Rabid from their victory, "dukhs" switched their attention and fire to
us. Mortar shells started to gather their crop again. Soldiers had to dig in
under this hurricane fire. The luckiest ones appeared to be those who found
themselves spots with asphalt destroyed by tanks' or BMP's tracks. There was
mud there, in which a soldier would dig in up to his ears. Our ranks were
dwindling with every second. Many were wounded. Sun could not break through
the dense smoke. I was hoping to hear shooting from the other side of the
square where, according to commanders' plan, paratroopers and marines were
supposed to attack. But there was nothing going on there. So it was just us,
a pity handful, no more than a hundred and fifty people, battling on the
open space with well-fortified enemy. Shouts and bursts of automatic fire
came from behind again. I turned back and saw first battalion trying to
cross the bridge. With doubled efforts, we began to pour bullets and
grenades on "dukhs". But the guys did not succeed in their attack and rolled
back once more. Our ranks shivered. The feeling of emptiness and futility of
our efforts enveloped us and crushed our will. Fear, dark fear smashed under
its immense weight everything human in our souls. The instinct of
self-preservation worked. Without any order, we began to retreat. Not to
run, but to retreat, snapping back with bursts of automatic fire and sparse
shots from the launchers, carrying our wounded, leaving our dead. Leaving
them, however we knew that if we did not pick them up by tonight, "dukhs"
would come and mutilate their bodies, would dismember them. They would cut
off noses, ears, and private parts and would throw them, together with the
body remains into the Sunzha River to feed fish. Please, forgive us, guys!
We retreated to our former positions, where our own aviation bombed us.
Suddenly we heard a shout: "Daddy is wounded!" Everybody turned and saw
Battalion Commander to a shelter, his left arm hanging like a piece of rope.
His left foot stampeded, he fell on his side. Soldiers ran to him and pulled
him out from under the fire into a temporary shelter. Officers of the
battalion began to show up, crawling and rolling on the ground. I hurried
too. I saw my buddy Yura among them. Alive! I had lost him from my sight
since the beginning of the fight. Major Ivan Genrihovich Kugel, a battalion
commander deputy came as well.
A paramedic was trying to stop Chief's hemorrhaging using rubber band
and sterile bandage. Battalion commander was intermittently losing and
gaining consciousness. He breathed hard. Something was croaking in his chest
impeding ventilation. He was pale, big drops of sweat were constantly
rolling down his face leaving gray traces on his dusty skin.
"Why did you drag your butts up here?" he asked after opening his eyes.
"Go, work. Don't leave people. Fuck off. While I'm here, my deputy is Kugel.
Get out! Work, you shitheads, work!" He closed his eyes again and passed
out. We turned to the paramedic.
"How's he? Will he make it out?"
"Leg arteries are punctured. Large blood loss is dangerous. I don't
know, I need to get him to the hospital."
"Save him! Listen you! Save the Chief or I'll make holes in you!" Vanya
Kugel yelled at the guy.
"Don't swear at him, Ivan! Let's carry him out," Commander of the first
"Take him and try to break through! We'll cover you up!" Ivan said. "
Try! Carry Daddy out!" And then loudly to cover the roar of fight, "Listen
to my order! I'm in command while Battalion Commander is incapacitated!
First company has to break through and carry him out. We all will cover
them! Dig in and fight until the last one! Radio operator, where the hell
"There's no operator, the guy's killed, " one of the soldiers shouted.
"Tune companies' transmitters on brigade's frequency and tell that in
five minutes we'll try to carry our Chief out. Tell them to meet us and
cover with fire. Is it clear? Forward! Forward!"
First company went back under terrible fire, directed at the exposed
bridge. They were carrying Battalion Commander, who was unconscious and
three other wounded. They could not take any more with them. Only
thirty-three men were left of the company, slightly more than a platoon. We
were shooting, shooting, changing clips and shooting again. I looked over my
shoulder. Five men from the first company lay still on the bridge adding
their bodies to already so many fallen. The luckier ones had reached the
middle. Just a little bit more, guys! Press forward! "Dukhs" were furiously
shooting at us and at the first company. I hoped we had enough munitions to
respond. Don't worry, sons of the bitches, we'll talk to you in a little
while, you damn bastards!
Suddenly my soul calmed down in peace. It happens when the decision has
been made and you understand that this it is the final one. There is only an
end of the story ahead and, unfortunately, you have no influence to change
it. All you have to do is to sell your body and soul as high as possible. I
did not want to die, but I had no fear of death any more, just absolute
calmness. My head was clear. Thoughts were precise. Reflexes were sharp.
Some kind of invigorating sense came, similar to that of gambling. Who would
win? We were the good guys and they were the bad. Everything was simple. I
remembered our boot camp song:
We have everything we need,
Frozen vodka goes with meet.
Our girlfriends are the best,
So is my AKMS!
Let's make war, bastards!
© Copyright 2001 translation by Konstantin S. Leskov
Everybody around me was slowly digging in. That's right. An infantry
soldier will bite asphalt, but hold the position. I did not have a sapper's
spade. A dead man was lying three meters from me. A spade in a slipcase was
attached to his belt. I rolled to him and tried to unfasten the case. It did
not work out. Bullet whistled close to me. Instinctively, I ducked. However
it is known that the bullet, which you can hear, is not yours, I duck
anyway. With a jerk, I turned the body over, unbuckled and pulled off the
belt. Rolled back to my place. As soon as I found cover, a bullet pierced
the dead body and made it shiver. They could have hit me, fucking souls.
Explored my site. Asphalt was crashed in several places. I started to scoop
its pieces out with a spade and put them in front of me. Here is earth mixed
with stones. Not paying attention to my ground to blood fingers, I was
continuing digging and building a parapet. Soil was cold. My chest and belly
had already been in a small trench. Head and legs were still on the surface.
I was completely dirty, ripped off the skullcap from under the helmet. Head
was steaming. Hot, very hot.
Heard clanging and roar from behind again. Looked back. Tanks had roped
their burnt colleagues with wire hawsers and tried to pull them aside.
"dukhs" began to shot at them with mortars and grenade launchers over our
heads. We stopped digging and opened fire at the Chechen fortifications.
With dread I heard dry click of my Kalashnikov. Shit, no ammo whatsoever.
Only seven grenades were left for the launcher. Kaput! A water bottle and a
clip bag were hanging from the dead soldier's belt. I weighted the bag. Oho!
Heavy. We'll live for a while then. I pulled out three clips and examined
them. Full. Three clips thirty shots each - ninety. Not too much, but it's
the best we have. When there is no fish, even a dick is meat. I loaded the
automatic, took an aim, and gave a short burst at barely visible shadow. It
disappeared. Might be hit, might be not. Switched to single shots just in
case. Started to dig in again.
Suddenly, piercing screams of "dukhs" came from ahead. They cannot talk
quietly even in normal life, on the war they scream so that ears get
blocked. I heard a familiar clang. A tank and a BMP rolled out. Very nice.
Retreating was impossible because of risk being shot in the back and a
success of advance was also futile. It is very uncomfortable wrestle with a
tank on the open square. Different weight categories. Ivan Kugel shouted
something, but, because of distance and shooting, I could not hear anything.
I only heard the result: popping of our launchers. It's hard to get a tank
with a small launcher grenade, especially when it is coated in "active"
armor. It's a good thing for tanks, the "active" armor. A number of square
boxes are lain next to each other on the hull. There is a
high-temperature-activated explosive inside each of them. When a cumulative
shell or a "Mukha" grenade hits a tank, it produces a narrow stream of heat,
which normally penetrates steel shields. When "active" armor is used,
explosive blasts and breaks the direction of the stream. The tank remains
The enemy tank, which was moving in our direction, was decorated with
those boxes like a Christmas tree. The bastards came prepared to meet us. A
grenade launcher shot popped on the left flank. Judging by the sound,
someone used "Mukha". Cumulative grenade precisely hit the junction between
hull and tower. Explosion thundered. Smoke went up from the tank. Then
flame. Deafening blast came next. Tower was ripped off and thrown back. It
fell on "dukh's" positions. A wall collapsed in a cloud of dust. We heard
yells. Flame was raging in the tank. Ammunition was cracking inside it's
We ourselves exploded with joyful exclamations and shouts. Aha,
bitches, you have seen! What a shot! What a great shooter! I wouldn't spare
a Star of Hero for such a shot! Great job!
"Dukh's" BMP rolled back and began shelling us. Projectiles blasted in
front of us, then behind our backs. Shrapnel hit several soldiers, but did
not kill them, just wounded. To our luck, their crew was bad at aiming. An
anti-aircraft cannon, installed on the BMP might have tear our humble
fortifications into pieces.
Two our tanks stopped at the beginning of the bridge ready to open
fire. The third one was moving to our, or "dukh's", bank shooting randomly.
Infantrymen were hiding behind it. They were launching grenades into the
enemy over the tank and our heads. Great! "Dukh's" BMP retreated far back
and disappeared from the view. Our tank came closer, stopped and shot
"dukh's" positions at almost point-blank. Infantry ran from behind it. It
was our first company, which returned, and a part of the first battalion.
More infantry was running on the bridge. Those were first and third
battalions. They told that Combat died. Unconscious, he kept shouting out
orders, was restless, then calmed down and passed away. All soldiers and
officers were shaken by the news. Alexander Petrovich had been an embodiment
of courage, a colossus, something eternal and unshakable. He had been an
axle of the battalion, and he was not with us anymore. It was hard to
believe it had happened. We had used to losing close friends on the war, but
him... No I could not believe it. I did not want to believe. Everybody
around looked devastated. Petrovich was not only a commander, but for his
soldiers and officers he was a teacher, big brother, "Batya", "Papa". Sad,
The arrived brought more ammo. It was quickly distributed and loaded
into empty clips, grenade bags, leaving the "novices" the pleasure of
shooting at the "dukhs" and digging trenches for themselves. Shelling the
enemy positions, tank backed up without turning the tower. Another one
started from "our" bank its cannon firing as it was moving toward us. Its
place was immediately occupied by the third one. Tank "carousel" was
working. The fun was about to begin. Adrenalin raged in blood again. Steam
was rising from skin. Excitement of battle came back. I looked at the
nearest soldiers. The same effect. Only half an hour ago all of thought how
to sell our lives as dear as possible, now everybody seemed to have the same
hunter's heat. Cornered rabbits, we turned into mature wolves. No! Not
wolves. Chechens are wolves. They have a wolf under the Moon on their flag.
They call us dogs. We ARE rabid dogs. Hold on, dirty wolves, we are coming!
Tear you apart, bitches! Rip your guts off for everybody! For Combat! For
those kids, who left on the bridge and for those who lay on this shitty
square. For our horror and for the bombing. For everything!
The commander of the first battalion was in charge. He was talking on a
radio for long time and then started to loudly give away orders. The roar of
the battle did not allow to hear him, soldiers conveyed his commands by
chain. The order was that after two tanks finish shooting, we would break
through. The object of attack is the building of the State Bank. He had also
said that on the other side of the square Marines, Paratroopers and
motorized infantry from St. Petersburg were ready to attack. Let's make a
stalingrad to "dukhs"! Everybody felt good. It is much better to fight as a
mob, especially when somebody else will hit the enemy in the back. We
increased small arm fire. "Dukhs" snapped back. They understood that our
attack was imminent. Their tank had been burnt, BMP was a toy against our
tanks. Now they were shaking in terror. It was their turn to sweat!
One tank finished, another rolled in. We saw a fresh inscription on its
cannon, "Catch!" People laughed over the crew's joke. Nobody knew how many
shells the tank had, everybody was counting.
"Ready!" command came. We put ourselves together, took weapons in the
ready. Pockets were full with loaded clips, heavy launcher's grenade bag was
bouncing against the leg. The order "Onward! Storm!" sounded like a song.
With the last shot of tank we charged from our trenches and ran forward.
Thunder roared behind. Bridge was invisible behind a dense cloud of shots
and exhaust gases. Our tanks and BMPs were driving across to our side of the
river. That meant that stuff was also pulling close to its battalions,
which, bunched together without knowing who where, were charging toward the
enemy's positions with shouts and bellowing.
We were not met with flowers. Long automatic bursts streamed on us.
Mortar shelling resumed. However, their aiming was wrong, or may be we were
running too fast, and the shells were falling far behind without inflicting
any damage. From the covered behind a wall BMP, a machine gun opened fire at
us. Soldiers fell. Front ranks backed up. The rear ones pressed from behind
pushing them under the bullets. We reached our first goal - a barricade of
blocks, concrete slabs and bricks. It was five meters high and fifty meters
long. It must have taken a lot of time to bring all this construction junk
here. It was solid. Direct hit of a tank shell would not destroy it. But we
were infantrymen! We climbed those slabs, encircled the structure from the
flanks. The fire contact was so dense that we and "dukhs" were shooting each
other point blank in long bursts, which interrupted only when a clip was
empty or when the owner of the gun was killed.
I ran, sweat was pouring down. Right in front of me, in an improvised
gun port, a dushman popped up, his face distorted from fear and rage. He
fired from his automatic at us. Still running, I raised my Kalashnikov and
gave short burst in his direction. He noticed new danger and transferred
fire on me. I ducked. A momentum of running body pushed me on my right side.
From this hellishly uncomfortable position, I shot at the "dukh".
Apparently, I got him, since he disappeared and did not show up any more. It
is a very rare situation in such a fight when you see the face of your foe.
I could not look closer. Shot means dead, fuck off. The most important was
to survive and take this fucking square.
"Dukhs" intensified their fire from behind the barricade. The pace of
attack slowed down. Mortar shells and grenades began to explode among us. By
radio we demanded tank's support. They hit "dukh's" structure with direct
shots and "dukh's" rear with plunging fire using high-explosive shells. In
contrast to the conventional shells, these fougasse projectiles explode not
at the moment when they hit the ground, but a short time after. When it
happens, shrapnel consists not only of the metallic parts of the shell
itself, but also of stones and other sediment particles, which penetrate the
body and kill just like the metal fragments. These shells are good to
destroy enemy's fortifications mowing down everything inside. We rolled
back. Shrapnel and brick fragments were flying on us, gathering their part
of death crop to the God of War. Medics carried the wounded and killed from
the square. Those beside them helped to evacuate their comrades. "Mukha"
grenades flew in our direction from behind the barricade. Feeling that we
had stampeded, "dukhs" tried to counter attack. Under the cover of their
grenade launchers, they charged from their shelters, squeezed out from
narrow slots, made by our tanks' shells. With screams
"Allah akbar!" they rushed on us. Many had green bands on their
foreheads. I had been told that those were suicide fighters or something. I
had not asked "dukhs" themselves about it. If I catch one, I would
definitely ask, if I would have enough time, of course...
With these thoughts I rolled to the left and climbed into a small
crater left from a tank cannon shell. Ground was still slightly warm and
unbearably smell with acid - burnt explosives. I rose a bit and gave a short
burst at the "dukhs". To check myself, so to say. Quickly looked around. The
others were also in haste looking for shelters to get ready for the oncoming
fight. Looked at the advancing "dukhs". About two hundred showed up and were
trying to attack. About two companies. Not too many, guys. With you, whores,
we finish up soon. Screaming from horror and frenzy, "dukhs" ran on us,
desperately shooting from Kalashnikovs. Some were throwing grenades. Not
allowing them to come closer, we met their wave with automatic fire. A
machine gun started "talking" on the right. Another one a second later, then
one more, then a couple. Trying to muffle their fear, soldiers were yelling
too. In most cases they were shouting obscenities, not virtuous, but short
like an automatic shots. Someone on the left flank was giving a short burst
at the enemy after each yell. Apparently, he was remembering his killed
"For Fyodor!" - burst.
"For Vaska!" - burst.
"For Pashka!" - burst.
"For Senya!" - burst.
He had had a special account with the "dukhs". Inadvertently, I
adjusted to his curses. When he was giving short, two-three bullets, burst,
I was giving it too. When he was quiet, my automatic also was silent. I
waited until he shouted the next name and whispered it too. Burst.
"For Mishka!" - burst.
Chose a dark silhouette of a "dukh", who was hurrying to his death.
Pulled the trigger. "Dukh" fell as if he had been cut down. I checked
whether he was moving. No. Finished. Burnt out. A voice again, "For Sashka!"
Repeated the name silently. Chose the next "dukh". A green band on the
forehead. He was shooting with Kalashnikov, taking aim carefully. Bitch! A
soldier screamed on the left.
Inhale, exhale, on the half-exhale, stopped breathing and placed an
aiming slot, a foresight and a dark spot of the "dukh" on the same line.
Beast! He was not standing in one place. Wounded soldier moaned on the left.
Just a moment, just a moment, brother, I'll knock down this pederast and
help you. Wait a little bit! Aha! Here is this bastard! Not taking any aim
gave a short burst. "Dukh" fell and screamed. Wounded. No problem. I'll
finish him later.
I rolled to the left. To suppress fear, made a couple of short bursts.
Here was the soldier. His face was pale, large droplets of sweat were
pouring down from under his dirty cap. Left shoulder was devastated. Coat
swelled from blood around the wound. Using his right hand, he had tried to
tighten a rubber band to stop bleeding. It did not work. I unbuttoned his
coat to expose the wound. The soldier creased from pain and yelled right in
my ear. Unwillingly, I started back.
"Don't yell, brother!" I tried to take the coat off him. He grimaced.
Painful, very painful. He reached his breast pocket with his right hand,
pulled out an individual medical kit and gave it to me. I opened it. A
syringe tube with anaesthetic was in place. It was good. I put it aside.
Unsheathed a trophy stiletto and carefully cut his coat on the shoulder. Wet
from blood, fabric and cotton insulation was not yielding easily. Fountains
of dust rose around us. I heard abhorrent screaming sounds of ricocheting
bullets. Bastards! Don't you see that I am tending a wounded? I left the
soldier, rose on my knee and poured the approaching "dukhs" with lead. They
fell and shot back. I shouted to our soldiers nearby, "Hey, men, cover me
up! I'll deal with wounded. Then help me to evacuate him."
"All right, we'll do!"
"Let's bury them!"
Shooting rose around. I looked at the "dukhs". They tried to snap back
at first, but then did not even dare to raise their heads. You earned that,
bastards! I lay on my side by the wounded and continued to saw his bloody
outfit. Whenever I pressed it, blood poured out, rolled down the knife,
fingers and flowed into my sleeve. It looked as if I was cutting not fabric,
but a living being and it was heavily bleeding. Too much blood. I had to
hurry. I did not want to lose this guy. He was bravely endured all pushes. I
cut off a collar, a sleeve and a piece of coat on the wounded shoulder.
Then, working together, not rising from the ground, we took off the rest. I
made a long cut on the right sleeve of his shirt exposing skin. Took an
anaesthetic syringe from the kit. Twisted off a cap, punctured small
plastics bag and punched the needle into soldier's arm.
"Hold on, man! I hate injections my self. It'll be better now." I
plunged. The liquid came out from the tube. I pulled the needle out and
massaged his arm.
"What's your name?"
"Sasha", the soldier pushed the word out of him.
"Everything will be all right, Sasha! I'll take care of your arm." He
nodded agreeably. He must have felt too bad if it were painful for him to
"Hold on, brother, I'll be done soon." I examined the wound. Smashed
bones were seen. "Make a deep inhale, I'll tighten the band." Wounded
soldier obediently inhaled and held the breath. I swiftly threw the rubber
band around the arm near the base of the neck, pulled it under the shoulder
and tightened it on the chest. Guy's irises dilated from pain, but he only
moaned silently, afraid of letting air out. I patted his cheek.
"That's all, son. Now breath. Inhale often and deep, but make sure not
to get dizzy, understood?"
"Yes," he whispered.
"Don't speak, man. Save your energy. Everything will be fine. Now I'll
bandage you and then we'll carry you to the medics. They'll patch you up.
Don't be afraid. We'll break through!" I yelled all this into his face and
winked encouragingly. My grimace might have terrified a normal person. Dirty
face smeared with blood. But the soldier understood me right and smiled
weakly in response. Meanwhile, I took his Kalashnikov, took a bandaging bag
from the foldable butt, and tore its rubber package and yellow paper. Took
out a pin and cotton tampons and, trying not to touch their inside parts,
applied them to the wound. One tampon to the inlet hole, another on the
outlet. Then, clumsy, lying on one side bandaged the shoulder. From time to
time, I looked in soldier's face whether he was alive. Alive. With healthy
hand, he began too search for something in his pockets. Wanted to shoot
"What are you doing?" I asked alarmed.
"Want to smoke, cannot find. Do you have some?" he half-whispered,
"You could not find better time to smoke!" I was glad I had been wrong.
"If you want to smoke, you'll live!"
I took out cigarettes, inserted one into his lips, stroke a match and
Don't inhale the smoke too deeply or you'll get dizzy!" I warned him. I
finished bandaging him. It did not look nice, but it covered the wound
completely. I was steaming.
"Hey, men! I've done, carry the wounded away, I'll cover!" I lay on the
back, took a cigarette and smoked looking at the sky. My soul felt good. I
had not made too many good deeds in my life. Now I had probably saved man's
life. Good! Great! I turned and saw three soldiers rolling toward us. Then
looked at "my" wounded. I was almost in love with him. I had saved his life.
He would live. It was great! I felt myself such a good man, that I became
proud of myself. Good job, Slava! I turned to my belly, grabbed automatic
and looked around still holding a cigarette between my teeth.
While I was saving the soldier, "dukhs" attack was stopped. They lay
down and were shooting at us. No problem. We'll break through! I joined the
cacophony of the fight with three short bursts at the places where "dukhs"
were crawled about.
Soldiers came, took the wounded, dragged, carried him to the bridge.
Good luck to you, Sashka!
I gave a long burst. Rifle's lock clicked dryly. Pulled Sashka's belt
with a foot. It had a clip bag, bayonet, a spade and a water bottle. Took
one clip, inserted into my automatic, put the rest into the pockets and
opened fire again. "Dukhs" became agitated and started to retreat. Aha,
wetted your pants! We rose and charged forward.
Onward! Bear's roar came out from my chest. Lion's roar. Onward,
hounds! Let's corner the wolves! Tear them apart like a flock of dogs kills
a wolf. Hurrah! Kill the bastards! You are not wolves! Puppies! I rushed
forward together with the rest. There was no command to storm. Everybody was
running in the same heat. Nobody needed to be hurried. Nobody needed to be
sworn at or kicked pulled by collar to be risen from the ground. Shut the
bastards down! Hurrah! Aaaah!
Blood was pounding again. Mind left me, only instincts remained. Let
them work. There was a task, an extreme wish to survive. Mind would be of no
help here. Only forward! Zigzagging, twisting, rolling, you name it, but
only forward! Stop meant death! Forward! Hurrah! Kalashnikov at my shoulder,
I made few shots. Threw myself to the left, rolled, shot at the barricade
standing on one knee. Rolled to the right, one more roll. Burst while lying.
Jumped, made ten steps forward with another burst. While approaching the
"dukh's" stockade, our bursts became longer. We shot randomly. Shot at a
sound, a shadow, and a flash. Shot without thinking.
Mind, get out! Blood is storming. A taste of blood in my mouth. I
wanted to smell "dukh's" blood with my nostrils, to see how it was streaming
out of wounds, to feel how warmness left his body. Go away, mind! You cannot
endure all this. Let a Neanderthal possess the body and the brain
completely. Let him command. Only then, mind, you and I will survive and
come back in one piece. Let the Neanderthal take us out of this! Hurrah!
Aaaah! And the mind left me.
Power came instead. Arteries, veins swelled. Mouth was open wide, there
was not enough oxygen. I felt as if I was observing everything from aside.
Soldiers and officers ran to the barricade like a single organism. Some
climbed it, throwing down wounded and dead "dukhs". Some squeezed through
slots and holes in the wall. The enemy ran. Get them! Take! Strangle! Tear
them into pieces!
The clip emptied. Right hand detached it, threw aside and started to
pull out the next one from the pocket. A "dukh" rose suddenly from behind a
pile of trash, bristled up and raised an assault rifle to the hip level. It
was too late to insert new clip and cock the lock. "No time," flashed in my
mind. A Neanderthal talked again. I made a long launch forward with my right
foot. The barrel of my Kalashnikov thrust into soft "dukh's" belly. My mouth
was open. I bellowed with inhuman voice. It was a roar of victory. My own
eardrums barely survived it. "Dukh" tried to make a shot from his gun.
Ha-ha-ha! Won't work! I grabbed and easily snatched the weapon from him.
Threw it far away. His pupils became dilated from terror and pain. I pulled
the barrel out. "Dukh" fell and clutched his devastated belly with left
hand. His right hand was searching for something on his belt. I did not know
why, but I knew exactly that he was looking for a grenade. He knew he would
not survive and was determined to take me with him. Poor bastard! Bestial
smile bared my teeth. I jumped as high as I could and landed on the chest of
lying "dukh". I directed all weight of my body on the heels of my heavy
boots. I clearly heard, felt how enemy's ribcage crackled. I jumped again
and fell on my knees. I heard the ribs shattering again. Not rising from
broken flesh, I looked into enemy's eyes. Blood was fountaining from his
mouth and streaming from ears. His body jerked, bent and stilled. Open eyes
stared at the sky. Pupils reflected icy, slow winter clouds.
Are you sick of my story, dear reader? Unfortunately, it is not show
off. It happened with me in real life. I am neither a superman, no a crazy
maniac. Simply, if you want to come back alive and in one piece, you must
become an animal in its worst. The monster of war gives birth to monsters in
the brains of its participants. Those monsters will come out on the streets
and take what, in their opinion, belongs to them. Belongs by the law of war.
We do not know any other law.
Forward! Forward! See, mind, there is nothing to do for you. You will
not be able to endure this. You will escape the reality, you will flee and I
will lose you. Hurrraaa! Tear them apart! Chew them down! What for? For my
friend's and my own lives!
We did not notice how we appeared on the other side of barricade. A
building of the State Bank of Republic of Ichkeria, pox on it, was
blackening fifty meters ahead. With wild yells and howls, we rushed toward
it. Hidden by a cloud of exhaust gases, tanks and BMPs flowed around the
stockade and took a position behind us. "Dukhs" hit us from the Bank
building. They were shooting from small arms. Although the distance was
large and nothing could be seen because of smoke, their bursts were long
like in close combat. It indicated that the "wolf puppies" were panicking.
Long bursts decrease the precision of fire. I wanted blood. Only blood and
nothing else. I liked the experience of "dukh's" abdominal cavity dissection
without anesthesia. I was drunk with fight. Drunk without wine. Onward,
Neanderthal! Blood and life! Aaaaaaa! Nevertheless, the first ranks lay
down. Somebody had stopped moving already. Somebody, howling, squeezing his
wound, was rolling on asphalt covered with construction trash. Their
comrades, fellows were hurrying to help them. We'll kill for every "one
hundredth" and "two hundredth".
Whatever genes were roaring in me, I decided not to make a hero out of
myself and fell on the dirty asphalt like all the others. Dusk had fallen on
us already. Those fools, our Mister Constitution Guarantee and his Defense
Minister, started the war in winter. It would be much easier in summer. Warm
and dry. Long day. No need in carrying heavy sweaty coat and in worrying
about firewood. There would be no problem in sleeping right on the ground.
Now was different. Winter darkness came down. Cold penetrated my body. Wind
drove sparse clouds away. The full Moon illuminated us like bright lamps in
a theatre lighten the scene. Thank you, Comrade Rolin, for your support from
the air and from the other side of the square. If they did not engage the
enemy during the daylight, they would certainly abandon us like dogs to die
in this crappy place. Why? Who knows. It's warm now in the Kremlin, in the
Government House, in the State Duma, in the Federal Council and Defense
Ministry. I was thinking that bankers, for whom we were earning big money
while breaking our necks, were not shivering from cold. If we did not go
forward within two hours, we would start dying from hypothermia. Many
soldiers' hearts would not withstand abrupt temperature drop. Alcohol,
brandy, vodka, hot food and hot tea were in immediate need. Otherwise, we
would not see any luck. All Siberians, we understood well that unless we had
hot food, we would not be able to take Dudaev's Palace that night. I had
some brandy, but others... By the way, I indeed had brandy! It would not be
enough, of course, for the whole brigade, but I could share it with
two-three soldiers. No problem.
Fire never interrupted. Two soldiers ahead of me next to each other
jerked and lay motionless. Arms and legs were bent in unnatural ways, heads
thrown back. Wounded do not lie like that. One of the men next to me tried
to crawl to them, but was caught by other soldiers.
"Idiot? Where're you going? They'll shoot you not asking your last
name. Lie still."
"You son of a bitch, you want to leave them like that?"
"They are done. Sniper killed them."
"Get off me, you cowards! There's a fellow from the same town as I am.
We're from the same apartment building. I don't believe you! Let me
go!" The soldier was shouting trying to break loose from his friends. One of
those holding him lost patience and released the guy. Using the moment, the
soldier tried to run to the dead, but the same man who had let him go hit
his nose strongly with elbow. The soldier passed out. Two others grabbed him
under arms and gently carried the guy to the rear. Voices followed them.
"Why did you punch him like that?"
"He was in a hurry to get under a sniper, I just calmed him down. Don't
worry, he'll be all right, even thank me for that."
"Exactly. He'll be very grateful!"
"He'll be in the Med Company soon. It's warm over there. They'll
bandage his nose. He'll spend a couple of days there. Not too bad!"
"Come over, I'll smash your mug and then tow to the medics. Come on!"
"Hey men, I would not refuse half a bottle of vodka, uh?"
"Shut up, motherfucker!"
"If no alcohol, we'll have to attack."
"Right, see the Moon is coming up."
""We've got to either roll back and gobble alcohol or forward. It'll
lighten everything in a minute like a train station."
"What're we gonna do?"
"Who knows. There are commanders. Let them have a headache."
"Oh, a shish-kebab would be just right, " someone said dreamy in the
Darkness and snapped at "dukh's" direction with automatic fire. Tanks
began shooting behind us. After several correcting shots, shells started to
hit the target more or less precisely. We met every good shot with cheering
yells. It became too cold to lie on the ground. I pulled out my bottle with
brandy, untwisted the cap and made a large gulp. Immediately, I felt warmer
and cozier. At this moment, the mind of a twentieth century man got along
well with a gloomy ancestor from cold caves, who was ready to take over and
fight enemy with his claws and teeth. Apparently, they both liked the
brandy. I made one more gulp.
Hot air waves from explosions were rolling over our bodies raffling our
clothing. Good! It slightly warmed us up. The State Bank building caught
fire. We cheered. Snow had melted under us and we all were lying in muddy
puddles. An order was spread by chain, "Get ready for assault!" Based on my
previous combat experience, I had a big doubt in the necessity, rationality
and effectiveness of this kind of night assaults, but I should have argued
about it on the command point. Here, on the square, I had to follow the
order. In two minutes the order for assault came. Tanks were still shooting.
Shells flew right above our heads. After a ten meter run under friendly fire
our pace slowed down, because we were afraid of getting hit by our own
Mind left me again. I did not comprehend what was happening to me. Here
was the building. Dark craters from aviation bombs punctured the square
around it. The building stand solid. It was old. At that time they used to
build well. "Dukhs" were intensively pouring lead on us. Apparently, they
also had snipers hidden somewhere.
Our first ranks... About twenty people were killed or wounded. Men from
the second row tried to drag their comrades our of fire range. Many fell
too. Some were just writhing, others, squeezing their wounds, were rolling
with terrible scream and howl on muddy and bloody asphalt. Some made
attempts to escape on their own. But many... Many men lay motionless.
The whole scenery was illuminated by the fire of burning Bank,
permanently hanging in the air torch rockets and by the Moon, which was
indifferent to everything. Descended night was pierced by bursts of tracking
bullets from the tank-mounted machine guns. The thunder of battle, howl of
shrapnel and ricocheting bullets, their disgusting whacks whenever they hit
dead bodies created a nightmarish acoustic picture, which paralyzed my
brain. Not thinking was the most important. Otherwise, psychosis was
guaranteed. Work, work! Forward, only forward! Ten more minutes of sitting
in one place and we are finished. Dear parents, sweet wife, here is a zinc
box with the body of your beloved warrior-liberator, the re-installer of
Constitutional Order. Don't forget to sign here, here and here. Please don't
vilify us. We did not send your beloved there. Who knows who sent him.
That's all. Please accept our sincere condolences. Good bye! No. We can not
stay here. We have three more "parcels" of this kind to deliver. Go to the
military commissariat and social security office after funeral, fill out an
application for aid and pension. Don't forget to bring twenty five memos
with you. Make sure they are all originals, otherwise we won't give you
anything. Have a nice life.
F... you! You won't bring me back in this shitty box, unless I kill
myself after a wound. Forward! Come on, infantry, move your asses! Move you
stomachs! May be, there are still money in the Bank. Huraah! Dengi, money,
babki, cabbage! Since this is the State Bank, there may be even dollars in
it. May be there are, but they won't wait for you! Forward! Move! Don't push
me with your Kalashnikov, idiot, it can shoot.
The dirty-gray mass of our brigade came to life again. We ran, ran,
ran. Tanks stopped firing to let us in. The Bank was so close. But what is
From the darkness of our flanks we heard roar and clanging of tracks.
Is it help coming? Hurrah! Push! We'll bury "dukhs" in a moment!
Tanks indeed drove out from darkness. They were T-64s. Ours were T-72s.
These old tanks began to shoot us point blank. Infantry was hiding behind
them. Not our infantry. "Dukhs" had used the moment when in the rush of
battle we started our assault. They hit our rear from both flanks. Nobody
figured how many enemy tanks had been there. They hatched into our ranks,
their tracks grinding and threshing our soldiers' bodies. Arms, legs,
intestines, clothes were being wound on the wheels and gears. At the same
time, they shoot at the tanks at our rear. Again, at our tanks. Those could
not fight back, because of the danger of killing our infantry. They were
sitting ducks. "Dukh's" tanks were shooting them like targets on a training
ground. We were herded on a small patch in front of the Bank where "dukhs"
were shooting us at point blank range from three sides, leaving us not a
slight chance to escape the ambush. Our tanks could not help us and we could
not get out to give them a chance. We were rushing about like a frightened
herd of sheep.
Someone succeeded in putting out one "dukh's" tank. It caught flame.
While its ammo cache was exploding, we made an attempt to break out. By that
time, our tanks were all burning bringing additional light to the blinding
picture of the square. I did not feel anything but horror. It ousted all
other emotions from me. Neither Capitain, no citizen Mironov had existed by
then. Instead, a shivering clot of shit wanted only one thing - survive.
That was all. Simply, survive. No long forgotten prayers came to my mind, I
was just running into darkness. Stumbled, flew down, did not feel any pain
from bruises and cuts. Nothing, except freezing terror. Flocks of bullets
followed us. Yells of rage and pain, screams of wounded men. No way of going
back to help them. Panic and horror smeared me on the asphalt, forced me to
run in straight line like a rabid dog. Despite the speed, I felt that I was
staying in place. I was running on the square, which I had been taking just
several hours ago fighting for every centimeter. The place is littered with
bodies of our soldiers, as well as "dukhs". I stampeded on one of them,
fell, jumped up and ran forward. Corpses of my friends had not provoked any
emotions already. There was no passion for revenge. I only felt irritation
that they were obstacles for my run. What the hell are they doing on my way
when I do not have any strength left? I slowed my pace down. Many our people
were running around me. Bulged inhuman eyes, mouths open wide in soundless
screams, same as mine. Nobody yelled. Nobody shouted obscenities. Everybody
was saving power for the run. "Dukhs" were reluctant to come closer to us.
Apparently, they were afraid of us striking back. Do not corner mouse, it
becomes more vicious and aggressive than a cat.
We lost our direction in the dark. Now we were already running not
toward the bridge, but to Dudaev's Palace. Flares rose up in the sky and
illuminated running herd. Those were we. There was nothing human in our
faces, eyes, breath and stares. Kalashnikovs and machine guns fired. First
row was mowed down. The rest tried to turn back still running. Those in the
rear pressed them, shoved on the ground, fell themselves, rose and ran again
into darkness. I saw sparkles from fatigue in my eyes. Nobody helped nobody.
Wounded were shooting themselves. Some were making attempts to crawl into
obscurity, farther from the light of the flare rockets. Moon the traitor,
bitch, f... thing was lighting stronger than those flares through the
curtain of smoke. I had almost had no strength left. Lord God! Not the
captivity! Better death than that! Help me, Lord! Save me!
I switched to trot. I was out of breath. I wanted to rip off the
armored vest and the coat, to fall on the bloodied asphalt with open chest
and lie. Lie still, hyperventilating, restoring breath. No! "Dukhs" would
come over and then - captivity. I tried to run again. Blood was pounding
inside my skull like a Siberian river on the falls. It felt like the skull
might explode from extensive pressure. I could not hear anything from
exhaustion, except for blood pounding in my ears. I slowed down my pace.
Hanged the Kalashnikov on my neck and put my arms on it. It was hard not
only to run but also simply to move the feet. A soldier came from the right.
Without saying a word, he grabbed me and dragged along. After several meters
I understood, that I only impeded his own run. A barely heard voice broke
through my torn bronchi and nicotine plugs.
"Go. Go. I'm not of a help to you."
"What about you?" yelled the soldier into my ear.
"Go. I'm on my own..." It was hard to talk.
"I won't leave you!" Desperation was heard in his voice.
"Get off me! Save yourself, I'll follow you." Gathering my last
strength, I pushed the soldier with both hands. We flew in opposite
directions. He disappeared. That last push consumed what was left of my
energy. I sat on the ground breathing hard. Spat out viscous saliva. Heart
was pounding fast. From my studies in the military college I knew that it
was bad to sit right after run. Heart valves might close and not open back.
When dancing sparkles in the eyes went away, I looked around, my stare heavy
and bleak. My gun was still hanging from my neck. No energy was left to take
it off or to simply move a hand. Not far from me, silhouettes of people were
sitting and lying. Most of them were officers. It was understandable. Their
age and physical shape were far from the best. Civilians sometimes complain
that the military retire earlier. If there had been anybody older than forty
five among us, they would have not been found alive later. Some were sitting
on the dead bodies. May be it was comfortable, but I had not come into that
state yet when I would not be able to perceive nothing. People were sitting
and looking in the direction of the enemy. Somebody was about to resume the
run, but many, including myself, were ready to accept the last battle. Mind
awoke, horror subsided. Rage began to speak up and it was good. Healthy
anger meant that I had not yet become an animal. It was time to figure out
how to get out of there and save my skin. Soul was the last thing to think
about. I remembered God as a powerful benefactor, whom I used to rely on.
I coughed. A clog of nicotine mucus was painfully and slowly making its
way out of my bronchi. Need to quit smoking or cigarettes won't allow me to
reach the sanctuary of a stone, a bump or a hole. Spat out a wet shniblet of
mucus. Felt a taste of my own blood. A piece of bronchi came out too. I took
a deep breath. Chest pain knifed me again. Another suffocating seizure of
cough. The only desire was to tear my chest apart and let fresh air in. I
was too tired to run long distances. I would rather do something simple,
short and quiet. "Learn English!" my Mommy always told me.
© Copyright 2001 translation by Oleg Petrov (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Editor: Dan Ray
"Hey, easy, you sadistic moron! That hurts!"
"Sure, and that's the good news."
"Easy, you bastard, you can tear it off!"
"Not to worry, I will sew it back."
He checked each of my ears twice with a metal pipe, and then inspected
the insides of my mouth and nose. Now what, Papa Doc?
"The eardrums are OK, just some inflammation."
"Say it again in Russian, and louder, please."
"You will survive."
"What about hearing?"
"That will recover later. I'll give you some eardrops. Stay away from
cold. And-take care of yourself."
"They keep you really busy here, don't they?"
"You bet! It has been slow for a while, but all through the night and
morning we were getting so many wounded we almost panicked. A lot of
shrapnel wounds, broken bones, stomach wounds...Many died right in the hands
of paramedics, some on their way here. Overall, thirty men did not make it."
"Yeah, this sucks."
"Do you have enough supplies?"
"Well, we got enough for now, but my colleagues from other units are
completely out of medications. The Ministry of Emergencies has some, but
they won't share their stock with us or Interior Ministry troops. They say
their supplies are for the local civilians."
"What a bunch of dickheads! They would rather let their own kin die!"
"Sorry, Slava, but I got work to do. Come see me, if you have any
"I'd rather have you visiting me."
"I'm too busy, and if I get a break, I just drop dead asleep. I have no
time even to take a shot of vodka, only the cigarettes keep me going. The
dukhi will keep us busy tonight for sure, so I need to get ready for that.
What about you? A couple of days rest in the hospital won't hurt you."
"Forget it. Remember our talk?"
"You mean, the life and death stuff?"
"Yes. If it comes to that, you will help me."
"You're such a bloody fool, Slava."
"Look, I feel really dumb right now because I'm deaf, but I guess that
won't last for too long, and I'll get back in shape soon. But...if some day
you find me passed out here, will you please make sure that I won't regain
my consciousness back, OK?"
"No way and I don't even want to talk about that." Zhenya rubbed his
eyes that were -- red from fatigue and constant lack of sleep. "I will go
now. I really have too much work to do. And you need some rest. You guys
won't take that shithouse tonight anyway. I am also tired of shouting into
your ear at the top of my lungs. Take a good nap. Good luck to you, and here
are your eardrops."
He took a plastic batch of some tablets out of his pocket and held it
out to me.
"This will take care of fatigue and stimulate your cardiovascular
system. It's sort of like doping. They used to give this to athletes, like
marathon runners. This will keep you awake and you will stay cool when the
shit hits the fan. I even take this stuff myself sometimes. But do not take
too many of them at once. Hey, take these vitamins too. Some vitamin C,
don't forget to take it."
"Good luck to you too!"
When he left, I felt how tired I was. The fatigue hit me hard. Part of
the hard, dangerous job was done, but there was too much to be done yet, and
the end was nowhere to be seen. Only in the movies is everyone bright-eyed
and bushy-tailed in between the fighting, where they take every chance to
Well, maybe that's what it used to be, but now it looks very different.
Everyone is just dead tired. It gets you when you keep fighting non-stop for
too long. Your emotions, senses, even instincts are silenced, your reaction
gets too slow. And that is bad for you. When your instincts become numb, you
are dead. You will stick your head out in the wrong moment, or become
negligent with your weapons. So, you better forget your feelings. On one
hand, your numbed emotions won't let you go crazy, on the other hand, you
need to keep your reaction fast and your senses sharp. For that you need
some relaxation and rest. Vodka can relax you, and slumber is the best
possible rest. Killing a couple of dukhi is also an excellent way of
relaxing, and will relieve your stress completely. Those who have hand
grenades or other explosives at hand, but no dukhi around, can use a loud
explosion for the recovery. I used to do that too, it helps. But a couple of
dukhi would work much better. The chopper pilots, as I've been told, have
dropped some dukhi down over enemy's territory, with an awesome
psychological effect. The dukhi got their will paralyzed, and the chopper
pilots got some stress relief in turn. I won't bet that this was for real,
but I liked the idea. I heard this tale even before the troops entered
Grozny; of how 2-3 dukhi were taken up into the skies in a chopper. One of
them knew some important stuff, but, being an idiot or just a tough SOB,
won't talk. And for some obscure reason torture was out of question. So,
they put some psychological pressure on him, by throwing his friends out of
the chopper. He saw that, and when they kicked him to the door, he started
talking. Here, everything goes.
That is why I felt so tired, not depressed, just tired. I took a couple
of vitamin tablets and put the unknown stimulant into my pocket. I got the
whole night ahead of me to experiment with those. I took a good look at
myself: I was as dirty, as a pig. My overcoat and pants were covered with
mud, clay, and blood, and got torn and holed in several spots. My boots were
also covered with mud. I sighed. Luckily, major Zemtzov, my mentor in the
Academy, could not see me in such poor condition! When it came to uniforms,
he was a perfectionist, and tried to bring us up the same way. Any given
moment might look as the most brutal time of your life ever, but when you
look back later, things that you took for hardship earlier can only make you
laugh. It would actually be fun to recall your high school problems later,
when you become a college student or an Academy cadet. Likewise, it would be
fun to tell your kids of your hardships at the exams in the Academy. Also,
you will laugh with your friends at a party at how being in charge of a
platoon for the first time was really a big deal for you. After you had lost
some hair and your face got all wrinkled, you would recall just how shy you
used to be when it came to dating girls; how excited you were when getting
ready for your first date, and romantic stuff like that. Yeah, if only that
young cadet Slava Mironov had my experience! Now, when I meet a girl younger
than myself, I do not get as excited as I used to. I am getting old, I
guess, my blood is getting colder. This idea made me grin. Some dating right
now sure would be fun. Hey, how about Christmas, did it already pass? What
date is it today, anyway? Maybe, I should go and ask someone. Oh well, just
forget about it. Who cares? Let's forget that my birthday is coming up in
January, thinking of it won't do me any good. All I need to do is to fulfill
my duty and survive. That's it. The rest, including those who remained on
the Big Land, can go to hell. Me and my boys, we don't give a shit about
you, just like you don't give a shit about us. But we will be back!
I looked around. Everyone seemed tired and moved slowly, their faces
dull, with sharp, pointed features; their deep-fallen eyes turned into red,
like those of albinos. All signs of corpulence in these folks were gone by
now. That's a great diet, I thought. If anyone is interested in loosing some
weight, just come here and success is guaranteed.
Previously, anticipation of a fight would have caused some excitement;
now everyone was just plain tired. If we must fight, so be it and to hell
with all that. Your nerves must have learned the trick of self-preservation
by avoiding unnecessary waste of any emotional energy before the event
itself comes. But when it comes, the adrenalin will start rushing and I will
get my reaction back. The human organism is a pretty smart device...
Yuri showed up, looking jumpy.
"So, what's new?
"Have you seen the Doc?"
"Cut the crap, will you? I have asked you a question."
"Well, I've been to the HQ. No good news. They are under lots of
pressure from Hankala. Our neighbors shat their pants, so we will bear the
brunt. That's it."
"That will be our last and decisive battle, right?"
"Sure. You don't seem to be interested, are you?"
"That's not the right word, Yuri. I don't give a fuck. Whatever."
"You are just depressed."
"I am calm. I am so absolutely calm. I did not feel that peaceful for
God knows how long. I'm totally cool, and nothing else matters anymore. No
regrets, no remorse. No fear, nor vigilance, no other feelings. Everything
"You look as if you made some kind of decision. You don't have any
suicidal ideas, I hope? Like, assaulting a machine-gun nest with your own
"No, I am just mortally tired of this madness. So, let them decide
anything they want. I will go anywhere, except for the hospital. I will just
stay here, the way I am, just doing my job."
"Hey, you did not lose your appetite for life, did you?"
"Don't worry about that. I'm fine. When do they plan to attack, at
"No, they changed the plan, as usual. We are to begin in two hours. The
neighbors will start, and we will join them in 20 minutes."
"I wish there were 2 hours instead.
"Oh, sure. Unlike the elite troops, Siberian makhra never complain. We
just keep on fighting till we die, as usual."
"Stop talking like that. We are just fine, your highness! You better
"I need a first aid kit and body armor, if you can find any. If not,
that's OK too."
"I'll see what I can do. Take it easy!"
"I'm fine. I repeat: I am just cool, you moron. That's all."
He left and came back in about 20 minutes, carrying brand new body
"Where did you get that?"
"They just got some in Battalion 3, and that's their gift. Zhenya
Ivanov asked me to give you the eardrops. He said that's his last batch.
Take it, and here is the first aid kit, too."
"Thanks, Yuri. What am I going to do without you?"
"Nothing. You would just spend the night with no body armor, that's
"Right. Can you help me adjusting it? Careful, my ear hurts."
"What's the big deal? You are deaf anyway, right?"
"Doesn't matter, it still hurts."
"Patience, I'm loosening the belts."
"This shit is so heavy. I've spent a half day without body armor, and I
felt like flying."
"Get down to Earth. San Sanytch wants you to stay at the HQ during the
"Are you kidding me?"
"Yeah, he knows about your ears."
"Was it you who told him?"
"No. The whole brigade already knows that you brought a dead soldier
back. The same thing happened in Battalion 1, and their platoon leader had
just gone mad. That's why San Sanytch and Sergei Kazartsev are worried about
your mental health. You better stay, Slava. One just can't go into night
fighting in a state of mind like yours."
"Back off, I'm fine. I'm just cool. I feel really good. Never felt this
good before. Well, maybe that's my reaction to the night before. But I want
to go and I will go into this night fighting. And to hell with the orders, I
don't need any sympathy. So, guys, I do respect you and I love you, but you
can go and screw yourselves."
And even saying that, I was calm as a python. No emotion, just a sober
We spent the rest of the break shooting alcohol, trying to stay low on
snacks. Yuri was tired of shouting into my ears, so he did not talk much.
And I did not want to turn the evening into a one-actor performance. I had
no intention of pushing the fragile piece of my soul off balance by talking
So, time passed in silence. I was neither thinking, nor dreaming or
recollecting, I just kept my eye on what was going on around me. I picked up
some ammo, filled my canteen with water, and off I went.
This time we went along with the remains of the 1[st]
Battalion. Sergei Kazartzev was walking next to us. The neighbors attacked
first and engaged with the enemy, but the dukhi were not dumb and they were
waiting for us. Ten minutes after the fighting started we had received
Budalov's order to attack.
The dukhi opened up with tremendous fire. Some of the 2[nd]
Battalion troops could not hold on and turned back, searching for cover near
the State Bank building. For a moment, it seemed the whole Brigade was going
to retreat. But something stopped folks from turning their backs on the
enemy. The troops hesitated, but they did not run back this time.
Running made me sweat, but I stayed calm and collected. I tried to stay
away from corpses and to avoid the point where I had stayed the night
before. My body armor remained there, as was the corpse of that private who
rushed to help me out. It still lay there in the same pose. I just caught
this picture with the corner of my eye, but I had no intention of going
through all that again. I could not resurrect him, but I will remember him
until I die.
The Brigade charged ahead like an avalanche. The dukhi were under
attack from all sides. Ahead, charge ahead! Soon we were under the walls of
the Palace. The dukhi blew up the entrance into the Palace, so it was not
easy to get inside. They were shooting at us from above. Our tanks, hiding
behind the Gosbank building, began firing at their nests in the Palace. The
dukhi returned the fire, shooting back at the Gosbank area. A large piece of
the Gosbank wall collapsed, and some soldiers, who could not hold the
enemy's fire and have turned back in the first minutes of the battle, were
now crouching behind the fallen wall, terrified. They were shooting
chaotically at the Palace, and that attracted more and more of the dukhi's
fire. At that moment, Sergei Kazartzev did what later had became the subject
of many discussions in the Brigade. He rushed toward them and, with kicks
and curses, he managed to rise them up and lead them toward the Palace. It
was sheer madness.
We were just stunned by his courage, and tried to cover him with fire.
But for the dukhi this was just like sports hunting. They were shooting at
him first, then at his group when they charged forward. My heart sank when I
watched this mad racing. I did not breath, all my feelings were with these
guys. Even when I was not looking their way and was shooting up at the
dukhi, I could sense with the back of my head where they were at the moment.
I tried to distract the enemy's attention by keeping up firing, and only
when I changed the mag I glanced at the running men. They seemed close
enough, but still had a lot of space to cover. I could not shoot a bomb up
into the dukhi's nest because it was way too steep. So we just kept shooting
long bursts at them, trying to distract their attention or draw them away
from the windows. And the dukhi also began shooting wildly with long bursts
at the square. Run faster, guys! Faster! Just fucking run! I know you can
make it! Come on, Sergei!
The Gods must have been on our side that night. The guys had made it
safely through the wall of bullets and joined us successfully. They just
could not believe their luck and looked around themselves in dizziness. They
shouted something and we patted them on their shoulders, saying some words
of encouragement. But Sergei, of course, was the real hero. From now on, we
would respect him in a new way. He was rather short and skinny, and I was
always skeptical of the abilities of political officers, but occasionally
you could come across a worthy officer even among their big crowd. He was
sweating, his warm breath clouding, and he drank the whole canteen of water
that somebody gave him. Everyone was trying to greet him. Earlier, in Soviet
times, he would get a Star of a Hero for that, but now only the soldier's
mothers could appreciate his courage. He would never hear them, though. So,
pray, you mothers, for Sergei Kazartzev, a man with a big soul. Wish him
Meanwhile, the dukhi started putting pressure on us, dropping down some
hand grenades. That did not cause us any damage and we managed to shoot down
a couple of dukhi. One went down with a scream. Others, already dead, fell
down silently. The grunts did not bother to search their dead bodies. Step
by step, we moved on, shooting up at the dukhi above. My neck and shoulders
became stiff from looking up and the gun smoke was getting into my eyes and
lungs. It would be great to stop, bend down and cough this crap out. So, I
had to breath slowly, through my nose. OK, we had reached the walls of the
The first group climbed the wall and got inside. I screamed to overcome
my fear, as I tried to jump up the wall. A window nearby was blocked with
sandbags. The bags were made of heavy-duty glossy paper and were packed
densely with sand and soil. My fingers slid on those sandbags, unable to cut
through the surface. My body armor and the AK were pulling me down with
their weight. So I stuck to those sandbags, like snot on a mirror, listening
to the battle raging inside. I felt I could not hold on. In a second I would
have fallen down, but anger at my own clumsiness gave me some extra strength
and I managed to climb up a little. I found an opening between the bags,
with some dirt and some traces of recent shooting. This must have been a
good machine gun nest over here.
When I felt I could hold on, I shifted my AK forward to my chest and
peered inside. I was lucky to spot a small group of the enemy from behind.
Four of the dukhi with their backs turned toward me were shooting at the
grunts that were inside the building.
Almost without aiming, I gave a long burst at their backs. Two of them
fell down, howling; the other two ran away. I saw some grunts bursting into
the room and cried for help. They dragged me in and we ran. No words were
said between us.
The hall at the first floor was rather typical for a large
administrative building. The ceiling was high and numerous columns and
niches provided the defenders with many opportunities to hide, to set up an
ambush or booby-trap the place. Darkness did not help us either. The air was
dense with smoke and dust. I felt how the gunk that accumulated in my lungs
was trying to get out of there.
Surprisingly enough, I was still calm, despite the adrenaline rush that
I just had. My mind was clear and worked like a calculator.
The dukhi were fighting for every inch of the hall, and we kept pushing
them out. We kept shooting, aiming at muzzle flairs, at noises, or simply
intuitively. Some furious gunfire erupted to my left, followed by a
tremendous explosion. Just as it happened before, my hearing had somewhat
improved after the concussion. It was great to hear all the sounds of battle
again. I felt rage and a wild desire to live. My tranquility and numbness
were gone. Charge ahead and kill them all!
The blast had opened a breach in the wall and in rushed our neighbors,
who were also makhra, judging by their uniforms. They were eager to join us.
Some of the dukhi, who made it to the upper floor, were now trying to throw
down hand grenades, but most of the enemy were cut off and cornered in the
end of the hall. They were fighting vigorously, but we were too strong for
them. We kept firing our grenade launchers, and the small fragments from the
bombs killed everything in the closed space.
More troops came in. Siberian makhra, Volga area makhra, some
paratroopers, and even some Interior Ministry troops were all mixed now.
Naturally, there was no one in command and no plan. There was just an
overwhelming desire to destroy the enemy, to dump these jackals down from
the Palace's roof. Charge ahead!
I was out of breath again. Nobody listened to anyone anymore. Shooting
at the enemy, everyone was shouting something of their own, like names of
those friends who were killed in action, pressing the trigger with every
name. We were right in the enemy's den! We lost too many of our comrades on
the damned Square. We cried when we saw our comrades hanged in the windows
of this building. Though now, at the turn of the century, there is a general
cry for kindness and forgiveness in our world, there will be no mercy for
you, dukhi! For using our boys as human shields, death to you all! The
Judgment Day has come!
I kept shooting, excited by the battle again. I put a long burst into
the shadow that jerked ahead of me. I was shouting something, too, like
everybody else, but I don't remember, what. So that is our Reichstag, at
last! We have finally done it! I will remember this moment for the rest of
Somebody pat me on the shoulder. Whoa, this is it's Yuri! He was also
very excited, his eyes shining with joy. We smile to each other: we are
alive, and if we had survived all that, we will live forever. I tried to
tell him, that I got my hearing back, but the noise was just too terrible.
We moved on together.
Part of our ragtag force went down into the basement. There was no
shooting down there, so the basement must have been clean. In our direction,
it was also clear, and all the surviving dukhi were pushed upstairs. I had
no intention of going upstairs at the moment. It was getting really dark
now. The grunts were throwing some bloodied rags out through the windows. We
did not want to spend the night here with whatever was left of the first
There was some excitement at the basement entrance, and I saw a group
of makhra with burning torches carrying out corpses of our soldiers from the
basement. Some were carried on improvised stretchers, some were just carried
on hands. Some bodies were still dressed in uniforms, and some were naked.
Many bodies were mutilated and clearly had signs of torture. Many corpses
had their throats slashed, which was a typical style of execution by the
dukhi. Some had eyes poked out, fingers crashed into the bloody mess, and
two corpses had their feet cut off. We screamed in anger. From now on, there
will be no mercy for the enemy!
In that same basement, where the world-known blabber Korolev had spent
some time with his team, our soldiers were tortured to death. They were his
countrymen, his kin. So, what right did he have to talk about our "cruelty"
and " civilian abuse"? He is the same kind of pervert as everyone who
defended this building!
We kept watching, in silence now. Those who had their helmets or wool
caps on, took them off, and watched in great sorrow. Dear friends, forgive
us, for we were too late and failed to rescue you.
They kept carrying the bodies out. No one kept count, but there were no
less than 50. When the sad line stretched outside the building, the dukhi
opened fire. Someone screamed, as only a wounded can scream.
We were suddenly overwhelmed with a thirst for revenge. Forward, and
Nobody gave an order, but we rushed toward the two stairways to the
second floor. The dukhi tried to stop us with a hail of bullets, but we
overpowered them with our grenade launchers. This time we fought in silence.
There were no victorious shouts and that sheer delight of battle we felt
earlier was gone. Only one feeling was left, Revenge! They cannot be left
Step by step, we moved upstairs. Dead militants were lying on the
steps. We walked right over them. These were not human beings any more, just
some stuff under the feet. All attention was concentrated on aiming. I step
on something soft; it's a militant's corpse. My foot sinks in some soft and
disgusting stuff. Without looking down, I kick it away. The visibility is
very poor, only the wind blows through the shattered windows. It is too dark
to see the enemy. Now the game of who's going to lose his nerve first
begins. Whoever makes the first shot will reveal his position and die. None
of us smoked or talked, we just kept walking very carefully. One of the
grunts picked up an empty can and threw it ahead. At once, three bursts of
automatic fire erupted from different sites. We locked onto those muzzle
flashes and fired back. Those of us who used the other stairway opened up
too. There were more flashes in front of us. We just kept spraying the
second floor with long bursts of fire. Bullets ricocheted from the columns
with terrible noise. It was too dangerous to stay where we were, so we
I shot from kneeling a position, then dodged forward, rolled over and
shot again, then rushed ahead. It was hard to breathe; I was sweating like a
pig again. My feet slipped on broken glass and spent cases. But to stop
meant to die, so we kept moving on. I could hear the steps of the soldiers
behind my back. The open area of the first floor was easier to take. Here
there were plenty of offices, there were pillars and doorways in the
corridor. Inch by inch, cutting the dukhi away from the exits and elevator
shafts we kept moving inside. We reached the office area and began mopping
up cleaning it: one or two hand grenades were thrown inside, then a spray of
gunfire. Most of the doors were gone, so we did not have to kick through the
doors down. Someone screamed to the left of me and cursed loudly in Russian.
I figured, the guy was wounded by the fragments of his own hand grenade. I
could tell from the noise that he was taken downstairs. The dukhi were also
throwing grenades and shooting bombs. More and more often the fallen
soldiers were carried away. Some would become "Cargo 200", and some would
become "Cargo 300"...
But that was not on my mind then: ahead, charge ahead! Again, I had the
salty taste of blood in my mouth; again, adrenaline rushed in my veins. Fear
and excitement are the feelings that motivate men in the battle. When these
two feelings mix, an explosive is formed that can blast with a tremendous
amount of energy.
We got to another office. A couple of hand grenades were thrown in and
we took cover behind the pillars. As two explosions thunder inside the
office, we heard more explosions echoing in the far end of the corridor. We
jumped through the doorway and sprayed the inside of the office with
bullets. Looks like no one was inside. We turn our backs and at once a burst
of fire comes from the inside. Luckily, no one gets hurt. We throw grenades
again, shoot bombs and the AK's. Altogether, about six bombs explode inside,
one by one. We keep shooting the automatics and move inside slowly, stumping
on a corpse of a militant, badly torn by explosions. It's too dark to
inspect the body and we just check his pockets. When we get out of the
office again, we find that the rest of our group had gone far ahead. The
corridor is dark; only some muzzle flashes and grenade explosions, so
deafening when inside the building, light the darkness. Slowly, everything
quiets down. The second floor is taken!
I can feel my sympathy for the militants vanishing with every action. I
felt some remorse initially, that we had come here as conquerors, and I was
tortured by guilt of being an occupant, maybe even a murderer. Now, I do not
give a shit. This is all just about revenge, and nothing else. Everything is
just black and white. We are the good guys, they are the bad guys.
Gradually, the delight of the battle is fading away, and I felt tired and
drowsy. The soldiers around me were chatting in excitement, interrupting
each other, telling the most remembered moments of the fight. Two soldiers
came from the first floor. I figured, one of them had a shoulder wound. The
medics kept operating heavily wounded in the basement.
The soldiers pulled some cotton out from their padded coats to make
improvised torches. A sympathetic crowd gathered at once. The wounded
soldier took his coat off, and we saw that his shoulder was messed up.
Someone gave him a canteen with vodka, or maybe alcohol, and he took a good
drink of it. Then they began cleaning his wound. The wounded clutched a
leather belt between his teeth. And just bit it harder with every touch,
that made his body shiver. He wiped sweat and drops of saliva rolling down
his chin with the back of his hand. Others kept talking, trying to distract
him from pain. Someone offered him a shot of painkiller, but he refused.
His friend was working with his bayonet, and a stiletto, widening the
wound, trying to get to the fragment. When he finally cleared his way to the
piece of metal, he attached the sheath to the bayonet, the way it is
normally done to turn the bayonet into scissors to cut the barbed wire. Only
this time the device would be used as forceps. We already knew that the
fragment must be pulled out quickly, or the patient could lose his
conciousness, or even die from pain shock. The war had turned us into fairly
good medics. Such skills are always valuable here. The helpers held him
tight now. He stiffened, shut his eyes and bit the belt harder, waiting for
the shock to come. His friend carefully reached the fragment inside the
wound with his improvised forceps, and then pulled it out abruptly. The
wounded soldier groaned, jerked backward, then forward. Blood streamed out
of the wound. The soldiers nearby opened the packs of bandages and tried to
stop the bleeding, but it did not work. The blood quickly soaked all
bandages and streamed down his back. Either an artery was cut, or this guy's
blood did not clot fast enough. We realized he could eventually die from
bleeding. Someone took the mag off his assault rifle and quickly took out
several catridges. There was no other way to stop bleeding, but to use this
barbaric approach. We often dusted small scratches with cigarette ashes, and
more serious wounds were treated with gunpowder.
A soldier came forward with two opened cases in his hand. The bandages
were removed at once and he quickly poured the gunpowder from the cases into
the wound. One of the guys touched it with his torch and the powder burned
with a flash that blinded us for a second. The wounded soldier jumped up,
but we saw that the bleeding had stopped. Cries of relief roared through the
group. The shoulder was finally bandaged; the fragment was washed with vodka
and given to the wounded as a souvenir. Then he drank whatever vodka was
left in the canteen. The operation was over. We were facing another long,
cold winter night in Chechnya.
My partner took something out of his pocket and showed it to me. It was
too dark to see the object, so I bent down and in the dim red light of my
cigarette I saw that he was holding a hand grenade, and a fuse. So, he also
kept one in his pocket! Our time has not come yet.
"I see, you did not use it."
"Not yet. Where have you been? I was going to stay with you, but I lost
"Fuck knows where. I just ran with the pack. I was hoping they were
after some beer, but they had led me here instead."
"There would be a line to get beer. So, how are you doing?"
"Fine. Even my ears can hear something. Just fine."
"Well, just fine?" His voice was skeptical.
"Aren't we both alive? Yes! Unhurt? More or less so. We are on the
second floor of their Reichstag. What else do you need?"
"A shot of vodka and some chow."
"Why don't you go upstairs and ask?"
"Yeah, right. They will give me some. How are we going to spend the
"I have no idea, Yuri. Let us figure out something. We can't go down to
the basement, cause the medics work down there. How can they operate, I
can't even imagine."
"Well, they got some torches, just like us here."
"Shit! This is the end of the Twentieth Century, and they still operate
in torchlight. It's good to know that the wounds are not treated with snake
oil and witchcraft."
"When you fight with your own people, you end up treating wounds with
witchcraft. What did you expect?"
"Nothing. Can we sneak out of the building?"
"No way! No one could break through, either here or back. That is it,
we are sealed up!"
"Not us. Dukhi, of course!"
"Stop that. If you need some action, there are more stories above you.
They will wear us down. We won't hold for long without food, water, ammo and
evacuation of the wounded. So, we have no choice but move up."
"Just wait till they surprise us by blowing up a ceiling right above
our heads, the way they did it in Gosbank. That will be really funny!"
"They won't do that."
"Cause the upper floors could collapse."
"Big deal. When Muslims fight with unbelievers, they can sacrifice
"Everybody wants to live."
"True, but there can always be a couple of fanatics among them, who
don't give a shit. And these could light the fuse. There are enough fools
"I like your optimism. When one needs to hear some encouragement, we
can always bet on you, Slava. You are always there to boost our morale!"
"I am just being realistic. Let's go and find some place to take a
"We will need to build a fire. Maybe the dukhi left us some firewood."
We slowly walked along the corridor, searching for some firewood in the
offices. We picked up whatever we could find: pieces of broken furniture,
doors and window frames. We carried all that into one of the offices, where
we built a fire with the help of some office paper we found there. The
office furniture was not as good as firewood. It burned slowly, with the
remnants of polish bubbling and blackening. We sat shoulder to shoulder, our
backs to the wall, watching the flames in silence. Soon, our thoughts
drifted far away from reality and from everything that happened today.
The warmth of the fire made us drowsy, and despite hunger and thirst,
we fell asleep. One more day in my life had ended; one more day of war...
We did not sleep comfortably. The limbs became numb every now and then,
and I even got cramps in my leg. Then the fire almost died and I felt really
cold, so I had to stay half awake, keeping an eye on the fire. We woke up
before the dawn and threw the remaining firewood into the fire, then warmed
up doing some squats, jumping jacks and push-ups. We finally warmed up, but
without hot meals and vodka we would not hold out for long. The dukhi would
not let us out, and they will keep the reinforcements away. But we also
would not let them out, no way!
Meanwhile, some shooting began on the square. Carefully, we looked
outside. A large formation the size of a regiment, was trying to break
through into the palace. Judging by their uniforms, they were a mix of
marines and internal ministry troops.
The dukhi were shooting from the upper floors. Only then we had
realized the brutality of what we had managed to fulfill by breaking across
the square earlier. Even in the morning dusk the whole square was clearly
seen from the palace. And the soldiers down there, who were trying to find
cover behind the broken armor and in ditches, were just perfect targets for
I heard some explosions and small arms fire back in the corridor. We
rushed out of the office. On the second stairway the soldiers were slowly
retreating under the attack of the militants from above. So, the bastards
are trying to break out! Forget about it, you won't!
There was also shooting on the first stairway now. The dukhi were
desperately trying to break out from the trap. Next to me, Yuri launched a
grenade. I knew that he was good in that -- a lot better than I am. I just
lack imagination needed to predict the trajectory of the round. And on many
occasions I was stunned by his ability to shoot a grenade from some kinky
position. It would fly by some unbelievable arc and inevitably hit the
target. And he would always hit it with the very first shot. So now he kept
shooting grenades, staying cool. But I knew that his stony face concealed a
lot of excitement.
The enemy also switched to launching bombs and throwing hand grenades,
and that kept both sides well apart from each other. That grenade duel went
on for a while.
For a second, I thought it would be great if we evacuated the building
and just blew it up with all the dukhi inside, but the brass, of course,
would not go for such radical solution. They need victorious press releases,
with snapshots of the captured Palace on the cover of some hot magazine.
Maybe, with a banner on top, the way it was on the Reichstag building in May
of 1945. They will rush more troops across the square now, and maybe a third
would not make it. They'd gather no less than a division inside the Palace,
and most of them would die there.
dukhi a nickname for the Chechen rebels
makhra a nickname for the Russian infantry
Vyacheslav Mironov. Assault on Grozny Downtown
Last-modified: Sun, 04 Nov 2001 21:21:45 GMT