o mesto zanyala zhenshchina, kotoraya do togo so svoej podrugoj i eshche odnim fakerom stoyala u nas za spinoj. -- Izvinite, no eto moe mesto, -- zametil nakolotyj, i zhenshchina poslushno vstala. Faker etoj podrugi zametil "sinemu", chto tot mog by i ustupit' zhenshchine, chem, kstati, dazhe menya udivil. Delo v tom, chto amerikancy kak-to ohotno vosprinyali trebovaniya feministok ravnopraviya, i u nih, u amerikanskih muzhchin, ne szhimaetsya serdce pri vide predstavitel'nicy slabogo pola, nesushchej bol'shoj chemodan. Nakolotyj tak i otvetil: -- Next time. 115 To bish' kak-nibud' v drugoj raz. Ochen' chasto takoe prihoditsya slyshat', kogda tebya vezhlivo probrasyvayut. No faker reshil, chto ego slovo vse zhe dolzhno byt' poslednim, ili zhe prosto pered dvumya podrugami pokrasovat'sya zahotel. On eshche chto-to skazal i dobavil: mol, mozhet, vyjdem, v nature, pogovorim. -- Pryamo sejchas? -- kruto povernulsya k nemu "sinij" i, sprygnuv so svoego mesta, shvatil fakera pod lokot'. Oba dzhentl'mena stali bystro prodvigat'sya v storonu dveri. -- Fuck! -- tol'ko i proiznes CHi, provozhaya vzglyadom oboih "petuhov". -- Pohozhe, sejchas draka budet! Ajda posmotrim! Nu pryamo kak u nas! -- tolknul ya kitajskogo tovarishcha. No oboih duelyantov uzhe vel nazad vyshibala, otchityvaya ih slovno pyatiklassnikov. Te poslushno vernulis' k svoej stojke. CHut' pozzhe faker dazhe poprosil proshcheniya u "sinego", i tot edak nebrezhno eto izvinenie prinyal. Nastoyashchij macho man.
O TONKOM ANGLIJSKOM YUMORE I O TOM, KAK EGO PONIMATX Kogda kukol'noe shou "Mappet-shou" translirovali po nashemu televideniyu, dumayu, mnogie, i ya v tom chisle, razocharovalis' v tak nazyvaemom tonkom anglijskom yumore. "Nu i tupye zhe u nih shutki", -- govorili my, inyazovcy, drug drugu, slysha, kak vsyakij raz iz-za kadra donositsya dikij smeh, v to vremya kak shutki s ekrana nu esli ne zhelezobetonnye, to uzhe ploshche ploskogo. No my pospeshili s ocenkoj. Tut, kak pozzhe okazalos', vse zavisit ot kachestva perevoda i mnogogo drugogo. Est' veshchi, kotorye prosto nevozmozhno perevesti -- v takih sluchayah nuzhno pridumyvat' svoi, analogichnye, shutki, s chem, uvy, u nas tozhe zachastuyu tugovato byvaet. Vot i syplyutsya na golovy anglichan nespravedlivye obvineniya v ploskosti. Tonkost' anglijskogo yumora krasnorechivo pokazyvaet sleduyushchaya joke (shutka), kotoruyu mne rasskazal shestidesyatiletnij anglijskij dzhentl'men, mister Rodd. Itak, perekrestok. Na perekrestke stoit ledi. Po napravleniyu k nej s chetyreh storon dvizhutsya: peshehod, voditel' (v mashine), velosipedist i chelovek verhom na loshadi {horse man). Vopros: kto ostanovitsya okolo ledi? Otvet: Horse man knew her. CHto perevoditsya: vsadnik ee znal, stalo byt', on ostanovitsya. Smeshno? Poka net. Raz®yasnyayu dal'she. Esli bystro proiznosit' frazu Horse man knew her, to foneticheski ona budet zvuchat' primerno kak "hozmanue", analogichno horse manure (konskij navoz). Teper', nadeyus', ponyali, chto tut smeshnogo? Anglichanin, rasskazavshij mne etu shutku, zametil, chto amerikancy, mol, ne 116 tak tonki v yumore, poetomu i v shutku etu ne vrubayutsya. -- No ved' tut mnogoe zavisit i ot togo, kak proiznesti etu frazu, _ stal zastupat'sya ya za yanki. -- Esli otdelit' slovo her ot slova knew. To, dejstvitel'no, nichego ne ponyatno. U amerikancev ved' chut'-chut' drugoe proiznoshenie. Mister Rodd so mnoj soglasilsya. Dlya nashih domohozyaek anglijskij yumor chut'-chut' poshlovat, gde-to chernovat. On ves' postroen na igre slov, kogda odna i ta zhe fraza imeet dva smysla. |to vstrechaetsya v Anglii povsyudu: v nazvaniyah rok-grupp, teh zhe "Beatles" (analogiya so slovami beat -- bit i Beetles -- zhuki), v nazvaniyah firm i kompanij, klubov i zhurnalov, fil'mov i taveren. Vot horoshij primer, kogda krasivoe nazvanie harchevni Dew drop inn (du drop in) -- "Harchevnya Kapli Rosy" -- zvuchit tochno tak zhe, kak i vyrazhenie Do Drop In -- "Zajdi, Zaskochi". Perevodya shutki s anglijskogo na russkij i naoobrot, nuzhno ne tol'ko otlichno znat' eti dva yazyka, no i imet' chuvstvo yumora, ponimat' mentalitet dvuh kul'tur, ih emocional'nost', chuvstvovat' anglijskij yazyk bol'she, nezheli znat' ego akademicheski. Ili zhe prosto igrat' v studencheskie gody v KVN. Sejchas nash KVN, k sozhaleniyu, prevratilsya v televizionnoe shou, ischezaet molodezhnyj razuhabistyj duh etogo kogda-to chisto studencheskogo sostyazaniya. A ved' u kazhdogo vuza est' sobstvennaya atmosfera, specificheskij yumor. I ne zrya nasha minskaya inyazovskaya komanda (v kotoruyu ya vhodil eshche yungoj) stala kogda-to chempionom pervogo respublikanskogo KVN: v komande soshlis' predstaviteli ispanskogo, francuzskogo i anglijskogo fakul'tetov so svoimi sobstvennymi, "chisto nacional'nymi" (v zavisimosti ot izuchaemogo yazyka) tonkostyami yumora. Mne, kstati, KVN zdorovo pomog v moej budushchej perevodcheskoj . praktike v SSHA. Sidim my, studenty, kak-to vecherom v lagere detskogo otdyha na bejsbol'nom pole i raspivaem moyu butylku "Belovezhskoj", chto chudom sohranilas' v neprikosnovennosti celyh dve nedeli so dnya moego prileta v aeroport imeni Dzhona Kennedi. Travim anekdoty. Tochnee, ya govoryu, a amerikancy slushayut, smeyutsya, hvalyat russkij yumor, no pri etom sami nikakih anekdotov ne rasskazyvayut. Lish' tol'ko prikolist anglichanin |ddi inogda yumorit na temu p'yanic. Pravda, ego shutki ya tak i ne ponyal, tak kak |ddi govoril ochen' dolgo. Nu, a sam ya rasskazyval amerikancam chisto russkie anekdoty pro kovboya i ego vnutrennij golos. Pri etom (vot gde KVNovskaya zakalka prigodilas') tut zhe na hodu menyal prakticheski vse. Ibo esli perevesti odin k odnomu nizhesleduyushchij anekdot, ego amerikancy takzhe ne pojmut, kak my ne ponimaem pryamoj perevod shutok iz "Mappet-shou". Anekdot. Edet po kan'onam kovboj i, ostanavlivayas' pered ocherednym ob- 117 ryvom, dumaet, chto emu ego ne pereprygnut'. "Pereprygnesh'" -- govorit vnutrennij golos, kovboj prygaet i prizemlyaetsya na protivopolozhnom krae obryva. Pereprygnul on s pomoshch'yu podskazki-svoego vnutrennego golosa i sleduyushchij kan'on. Tretij okazalsya pobol'she, no vnutrennij golos skazal: "Prygaj!" Kovboj prygaet, no... ne dostaet do kraya i nachinaet padat' vniz. Letit on, a vnutrennij golos govorit: "Nu i grohnemsya zhe my sejchas!" Nu vot kak, skazhite, pozhalujsta, perevesti poslednyuyu frazu etogo anekdota, da eshche tak, chtoby peredat' ves' kolorit? Samo vyrazhenie "vnutrennij golos" tozhe nel'zya perevodit' doslovno. |to po-anglijski conscience, t.e. sovest'. I v konce ya vmesto "nu i grohnemsya zhe my sejchas" posle sekundnogo zameshatel'stva skazal prosto: "Oh, shit!". Amerikancy pokatilis' ot hohota (mozhet, i vodka moya pomogla). Kogda ZHvaneckij, snishoditel'no ulybayas', govorit, chto amerikancy absolyutno ne v®ezzhayut v ego yumor, nesmotrya na prisutstvie dvuh perevodchikov, to dumayu, chto i sam by ZHvaneckij nedoumeval, esli by emu pytalis' perevesti shutki kakogo-nibud' izvestnogo amerikanskogo yumorista, ne uchityvaya teorii perevoda s anglijskogo na russkij nekotoryh veshchej, soderzhashchih specificheskij, sugubo nacional'nyj yumor. Est', konechno zhe, takie prikoly i shutki, chto ponyatny vsem, no yumor ZHvaneckogo, k primeru, dolzhen soprovozhdat'sya dostojnym literaturnym perevodom, a ne prosto parallel'nym, pust' dazhe i ochen' opytnyh perevodchikov. Tem bolee, chto yumor ZHvaneckogo imeet poroj effekt "horosha lozhka k obedu". To est' v drugoj obstanovke, v drugom nastroenii ego shutki "ne strelyayut". |tot "sindrom odnorazovosti" ya i sam ispytal, igraya v KVN. CHto eto znachit? Nu vot, k primeru, vy vystupaete pered zalom, vypleskivaya ocherednoj, tol'ko chto pridumannyj prikol. Zal vzryvaetsya ot smeha, potomu kak shutite vy nad tem, chto vam samomu smeshnym kazhetsya. CHerez ennoe kolichestvo vremeni eta zhe shutka v drugoj auditorii pochemu to uzhe ne proizvodit togo effekta, chto v pervyj raz, hot' zal shutku i slyshit vpervye. Ob®yasnenie zaklyuchaetsya v tom, chto vy sami uzhe "peregoreli", on, prikol, uzhe ne goryachij, ne svezhij, i eto intuitivno peredaetsya zalu. Po vtoromu krugu smeyat'sya nad odnim i tem zhe kak-to ne poluchaetsya. Kak vidite, tut nyuansov so svoim rodnym zritelem polnym-polno. CHto uzh govorit', kogda pered inostrancem pytaesh'sya ostrit'. Vot pochemu ne sovsem prosto russkoyazychnomu cheloveku chitat' pryamoj perevod povesti "Troe v lodke (ne schitaya sobaki)" ili skazku "Alisa v Strane chudes"", gde snosok, poyasnyayushchih tot libo inoj prikol, stol'ko, chto oni zanimayut bol'she mesta, chem sama skazka. A dlya Anglii i Ameriki, kak i dlya drugih angloyazychnyh stran, eto zhe klassika! Nam, estestvenno, neznakomy anglijskie stishki, pesenki, pogovorki, idiomy, na kotoryh stroyatsya mnogie prikoly Alisy. Pisatel' Boris Zahoder reshil pereskazat' "Alisu", i eto u nego, po-moemu, ochen' 118 dazhe neploho poluchilos'. Da, anglijskij yumor neskol'ko chernovat po otnosheniyu k russkomu, hotya kak u nas, tak i u nih chasto idet aktivnaya igra slov: -- Why everything in your bar is so cheep? -- Pochemu v vashem bare vse tak deshevo? -- Sprashivaet klient barmena. -- My boss is fucking my wife and I'am fucking his business. -- Moj boss trahaet moyu zhenu, a ya trahayu ego biznes, -- otvechaet barmen. Vot vam tipichnaya anglijskaya shutka, kotoruyu my v prilichnom obshchestve ne rasskazhem. Dlya nih takoj yumor bolee estestvenen. On stroitsya na absurde, kogda soedinyayutsya nesovmestimye veshchi, kogda v privychnyh usloviyah kto-to libo dejstvuet, libo govorit netipichno dlya situacii, iz-za chego eti situacii i poluchayutsya smeshnymi. Vzyat', k primeru, risunok populyarnogo amerikanskogo kartunista Dzherri Larsona. Pod kartinkoj nadpis': "Carl shoves Roger, Roger shoves Carl, and tempers rise. -- Karl tolknul Rodzhera, Rodzher tolknul Karla, strasti nakalilis'". A na risunke v eto vremya izobrazheno, kak rasserzhennyj olen' i ohotnik stoyat v lesu drug protiv druga i tolkayutsya, kak by govorya: a ty kto takoj?! Ne tol'ko yumor, no i ih iskusstvo kardinal'no otlichaetsya ot nashego. Rezhisser Devid Linch, k primeru, nakalyaet atmosferu svoih fil'mov do predela tem, chto kak nel'zya udachno sochetaet romantizm Dikogo Zapada Ameriki s mistikoj, s potustoronnej nechistoj siloj, kotoraya olicetvoryaet zlo i prestuplenie. Nashi zhe fil'mmejkery esli i pribegayut k podobnoj eklektike, to lish' dlya togo, chtoby to, chto ploho (situaciya v strane, kul't lichnosti i t.p. i t.d.), pokazat' eshche huzhe. Mnogie pytayutsya podrazhat' zapadnym rezhisseram, no vse ravno poluchaetsya ploho. |to ya k tomu. chto amerikancy obraz svoego parnya romantiziruyut, togda kak my iskusstvenno opuskaem. Mne amerikanskij i anglijskij yumor nravitsya svoej sovremennost'yu, zlobodnevnost'yu, pust' on neskol'ko grub i cheren. K sozhaleniyu, takih hudozhnikov-yumoristov, kak amerikanec Dzherri Larson. u nas net. Net i takih, kak Kukryniksy, kotorye hot' i tvorili polveka nazad v usloviyah sovetskoj cenzury, tem ne menee po svoej original'nosti i- yumoru mogut lyubym sovremennym hudozhnikam sto ili dvesti ochkov vpered dat'. Mir (kak i Angliya v svoe vremya) prishel v voshishchenie ot chernogo yumora bitla Dzhona Lennona, kotoryj mog lyapnut' chto ugodno i v prisutstvii kogo ugodno, i nad etim vse druzhno smeyalis', kogda spravedlivo, a kogda i ne sovsem, schitaya yumor "Bitlz" milym i bezobidnym. "Skazhite,paru slov, nahodyas' Pered licom millionov amerikanskih zritelej", -- govorit Dzhonu Lennonu amerikanskij telezhurnalist, pokazyvaya na kinokameru. "Kakoe u nih strannoe lico", -- otvechaet Dzhon, glyadya v ob®ektiv. Vse da ne vse amerikancy voshishchalis' chuvstvom yumora molodyh 119 liverpul'skih muzykantov. Nekotorye bogohul'nye shutki, vrode toj, gde Dzhon skazal, chto "Bitlz" populyarnee Hrista, sovsem ne ponyali v Amerike, togda kak v demokraticheski-sarkasticheskoj Anglii takie veshchi vpolne prohodyat i na nih nikto osobogo vnimaniya ne obrashchaet. V Amerike zhe, gde religiya imeet kuda bol'shij ves, chem v Evrope (osobenno v protestantskoj Evrope), po-chernomu luchshe ne shutit'. Ne nado.. YA, rabotaya na kuhne vmeste s CH i Veem, vypuskal shutki radi komiks-stengazetu "Daily Chronicles", gde v prikol'nyh kartinkah rasskazyval o sobytiyah dnya proshedshego i potom eti svoi "kroniklz" prikalyval na stend zadanij i ob®yavlenij. Moi "kartunz" zhutko nravilis' vsemu lageryu, i nash direktor dazhe delal kopii na kserokse i razdaval ih vsem zhelayushchim. Kak-to v odnom iz vypuskov ya obozval vecherinku predydushchego dnya, chisto v shutku, orgiej. Na sleduyushchij den' ko mne podoshel Ted, simpatichnyj paren' iz beregovoj ohrany, i, diko izvinyayas', sprosil, znayu li ya, chto takoe orgiya. -- Nu da, znayu, -- otvetil ya. -- A znaesh' li ty, chto tam proishodit? -- prodolzhal, krasneya i izvinyayas', sprashivat' menya Ted. -- Konechno, -- pozhal ya plechami. -- I to, chto tam, m-m-m, nu eto, proishodit vsyakoe takoe, seksual'noe...-- zapinalsya Ted. -- Da, -- zaulybalsya ya, -- konechno, znayu. -- A pochemu ty togda napisal, chto vchera v zdanii stolovoj sostoyalas' orgiya? -- smushchenno potupil glaza Ted. -- Ty znaesh', ya vrode kak poshutil, -- smutilsya uzhe ya, -- vse zhe videli, chto tam nikakoj orgii na samom dele ne bylo. -- A, togda ponyatno, -- ulybnulsya Ted, -- - izvini eshche raz. -- Da net, vse normal'no, Ted. Pro sebya ya podumal, chto, v religioznom lagere otdyhaya, mog by, konechno, slovo "orgiya" ne upotreblyat'. I ne obrashchajte vnimaniya na amerikanskoe kino, gde vse oni materyatsya da pro seks govoryat, budto ozabochennye podrostki. |to vsego lish' kino, kotoromu amerikancy mnogoe proshchayut i s kotorogo primer ne berut. Posle ih fil'mov kazhetsya, chto po vsej Amerike tol'ko tem i zanimayutsya, chto strelyayut s vertoletov drug po drugu, vzryvayut avtomobili, nasiluyut, ubivayut. A na samom dele vse tiho. Pro anglijskij yumor mozhno govorit' dolgo, dazhe celuyu knigu posvyatit' etoj teme, poetomu ya zakruglyayus'. No naposledok rasskazhu vam eshche odin, uzhe kanadskij anekdot. Dva kanadca ploho igrali v gol'f. No vdrug odin stal igrat' znachitel'no luchshe. -- Dzhon, chto sluchilos'? Pochemu ty tak horosho stal bit' po myachu? -- sprashivaet ego drug. -- Slushaj, Billi,-- otvechaet Dzhon,-- teper' ya pered kazhdoj ig- 120 roj zanimayus' seksom so svoej zhenoj, i posle etogo igra idet znachitel'no luchshe. Sovetuyu tebe. Billi, sdelat' to zhe samoe... Na sleduyushchej nedele Billi takzhe sil'no pribavil v igre. -- YA vizhu, ty vospol'zovalsya moim sovetom, -- ulybaetsya Dzhon. -- Da. -- otvechaet Billi, -- ya vospol'zovalsya tvoim sovetom i stal, kak vidish', takzhe igrat' luchshe. I, mezhdu prochim, u tebya otlichnaya zhena...
BUDUSHCHEE VREMYA BEZ WILL Nashego cheloveka v anglogovoryashchem mire mozhno srazu uznat' po tomu, kak on stroit anglijskie predlozheniya budushchego vremeni. Estestvenno, to i delo my ispol'zuem glagol will. No vot sami amerikancy i anglichane vse chashche i chashche obrazuyut budushchee vremya pri pomoshchi ne privychnogo dlya nas will, a neprivychnogo v takih sluchayah to come (prihodit') v prodolzhennoj forme: coming. The train will come at 10.30. Esli kto-to tam is coming, to doslovno i perevodyat: kto-to uzhe idet, sejchas pridet, na podhode. Koroche budet. |to kasaetsya kak odushevlennyh predmetov, tak i neodushevlennyh, v razryad kotoryh po anglijskim pravilam vhodyat i zhivotnye. Eshche budushchee vremya peredaetsya pri pomoshchi to be going to, chemu nas uchat, estestvenno, vo vseh shkolah i institutah. Pravda, v etom sluchae ne sleduet vyrazhenie tipa I am going to write you (ya sobirayus' vam napisat') perevodit', obyazatel'no ispol'zuya slovo "sobirat'sya". Mozhno skazat' kuda proshche: I'm gonna write you (ya napishu vam). V ustnoj rechi uzhe davno i aktivno ispol'zuetsya uproshchennaya forma ot to be going to -- to be gonna. |to dazhe ne sleng, kak mnogie dumayut, a obshcheprinyataya razgovornaya forma. I'm gonna call you tonight (po-amerikanski vmesto night mozhno napisat' i nite). |to variant tozhe kuda bolee rasprostranen, chem I will call you tonight. Tak chto, will obrechen na medlennoe vymiranie? Net. Ego tozhe aktivno ispol'zuyut, no v kachestve vezhlivogo obrashcheniya: will you be so kind... will you close the door... To est' kogda vas vezhlivo prosyat o nekoj usluge: zakryt' dver', okno, perezvonit', zajti pozzhe... Tak zhe aktivno will ispol'zuetsya v kratkih otvetah, kogda sprashivayut o vashih libo ne vashih dejstviyah v budushchem vremeni: Will you come tomorrow? (He pridete li vy zavtra?) I heard you're gonna make up a new song? (Slyshal, vy sobiraetes' sostryapat' novuyu pesnyu?) Yes, I will (da, pridu, da, budu, da sdelayu). Ne to chtoby will sdaval pozicii. Prosto come i gonna otvoevyvayut pozicii pod luchami angloyazychnogo solnca. Konechno, ob aktivnom razgovornom American English -- yazyke obshchag, kuhon', "Makdonal'dsov", sportivnyh ploshchadok, kolledzhej i kazarm -- mozhno govorit' eshche i eshche, no, kak vyrazhayutsya amerikancy: next time -- kak-nibud' v sleduyushchij raz. 121 Sovremennyj anglijskij yazyk ne ogranichivaetsya odnim lish' razgovornym. U anglijskih i amerikanskih gazet, naprimer, svoya leksika, kotoruyu tozhe nado umet' ponimat'. Svop yazyk i u delovoj perepiski, svoi zakony, svoi pravila i svoe oformlenie. Vot sejchas my i kosnemsya etogo samogo aktivnogo yazyka amerikanskogo biznesmena.
DELOVOJ ANGLIJSKIJ Esli klassik skazal o russkom yazyke, chto eto velikij i moguchij yazyk, to pro anglijskij mozhno smelo skazat', chto eto velikij i... raznyj yazyk. To, chto horosho dlya ulic i kuhon' ili dlya gazet i zhurnalov, sovershenno ne podhodit dlya delovogo obshcheniya, t.e. perepiski. Business english vhodit v nashu zhizn' tak zhe povsemestno, kak i sleng. Na anglijskom yazyke perepisyvaetsya sejchas ves' delovoj mir, i u etoj perepiski vpolne strogie, konkretnye zakony, kotorye opyat'-taki diktuet Amerika i kotorye znayut i soblyudayut i nemcy, i yaponcy, i ital'yancy... Ih dolzhny znat' i my. U nas, k sozhaleniyu, i ran'she otsutstvovala i sejchas prakticheski otsutstvuet kul'tura delovogo pis'ma: u kazhdoj firmy -- svoi formy i blanki, svoj stil'. Nu. a v Amerike delovaya korrespondenciya, sostavlennaya, skazhem, v Alabame, ne budet otlichat'sya ot korrespondencii Alyaski libo kanadskih Vankuvera ili Ottavy. Poetomu my sejchas, posle znakomstva s razgovornym anglijskim yazykom Ameriki, zaplyvem i obsleduem eshche odin ostrov -- ostrov sovremennogo delovogo anglijskogo yazyka amerikancev.
STILI, SOSTAVNYE CHASTI, "KRASNYE STROKI" I "SKELET" DELOVOGO PISXMA Itak, stil'. CHto nuzhno uchityvat', krome pravil'nogo oformleniya pis'ma? Obrazno govorya: napisat' delovomu partneru pis'mo -- vse ravno chto poznakomit'sya s devushkoj. Vam nuzhno proizvesti horoshee vpechatlenie i svoim vneshnim vidom, i maneroj povedeniya, osobenno v tot moment, kogda vy tol'ko vstupaete v kontakt. V etom sluchae vasha delovaya perepiska -- eto vasha vizitnaya kartochka. Tut net melochej, vse vazhno: i blank, i stil', i oformlenie... Neobhodimo soblyudat' vse te pravila, kotorye otsutstvuyut u nas i dostatochno tradicionny i konkretny tam, U nih. Konechno, kto-nibud', oznakomivshis' s moimi posleduyushchimi 123 primerami, mozhet vozrazit': mol, vot ya perepisyvayus' s amerikanskim biznesmenom, a u nego i eto ne tak, i to ne edak... Da, dejstvitel'no, i v samoj Amerike delovye lyudi poroj ne vsegda predstavlyayut, kak pravil'no leksicheski, stilisticheski i, chto eshche bolee vazhno, psihologicheski vesti perepisku s partnerom. Koroche, nekotorye ih delovye pis'ma ne vsegda yavlyayutsya horoshim primerom dlya nas, chto vy, kstati, i uvidite pri sravnenii razlichnyh variantov odnogo i togo zhe pis'ma. Nu, a vnachale bukval'no neskol'ko slov o pravil'nom graficheskom oformlenii. Vse predlozheniya dolzhny nachinat'sya ot odnoj vertikal'noj linii, to est' ne nuzhno soblyudat' nikakih "krasnyh strok". Vot posmotrite primer. John McWillson Assistant Director GML Office, West Str. 88, 38 New York 6787NY Julia Hatch High Str/ 84 24 Dublin 45773JI Ireland September 4, 1995 Dear Julia Hatch, Our innovative course offers structured broad-based traiding in Management Research and Consultancy Methods. It is an advanced, one year course for academics, management practitioners, or those wishing to pursue a career in academia or consultancy. It is twelve month programme leading to a Masters degree or on successful completion, offers the option of. continuing for a further twenty four months to study for a PhD in Management Studies within the Business School. For further details please contact Dr Diana Person. Sincerely Yours John McWillson 124 Vy vidite tak nazyvaemyj polnost'yu zakrytyj tip delovogo pis'ma. |to samyj optimal'nyj variant. Ego mozhno vstretit' chashche vsego, tak kak on prostoj i ochen' udobnyj. Rasskazyvaya dalee o drugih stilyah delovyh pisem, poprobuyu ob®yasnit' ih nekonkurentosposobnost' s polnozakrytym stilem, hotya vse klassicheskie stili v mire delovoj perepiski redko sushchestvuyut v chistom vide. Govorya yazykom biologov, oni (stili) skreshchivayutsya, davaya razlichnye gibridy i variacii. Pravda, vse eto chasto svoditsya k takim melocham, kak zapyataya ili dvoetochie posle obrashcheniya, libo k perenosu mesta daty. No vernemsya k polnozakrytomu pis'mu. Esli vy sami stroite pis'mo, to strojte ego vertikal'no, t.e. kazhdaya novaya strochka dolzhna nachinat'sya strogo pod pervoj. (Tak povelos' potomu, chto prakticheski vse pis'ma pechatayutsya na komp'yutere i net nadobnosti stavit' probel dlya preslovutoj "krasnoj stroki", dostavshejsya nam v nasledstvo ot predkov, pisavshih svoi knigi pri luchine i vyrisovyvavshih pervuyu bukvu vyaz'yu, otchego verhnyaya strochka nachinalas' s zametnym otstupom ot kraya. Vremena izmenilis', i tradiciya postepenno otmiraet. Hotya, esli chestno, "krasnye stroki" eshche sushchestvuyut v nashej delovoj perepiske -- iz esteticheskih soobrazhenij, no ob etom chut' nizhe.) Kazhdoe smyslovoe predlozhenie nashego pis'ma (ili smyslovoj blok iz dvuh-treh predlozhenij) otdelyaetsya ot predydushchego klavishej "vvod", chtoby bylo udobnee chitat' tekst. Vse zhe te posobiya, chto ya videl, pochemu-to dayut dokomp'yuternye formy delovogo pis'ma s "krasnymi strokami" i podpisyami v pravom uglu. |to tak nazyvaemyj poluzakrytyj tip pis'ma, kotoryj neskol'ko ustarel dlya delovoj perepiski, no vse eshche inogda ispol'zuetsya: 125
THE UNIVERSITY OF BRITISH COLUMBIA Biotechnology Laboratory Room 237 - Westbrook Building 6174 University Boulvard Vancouver, B.C.Canada V6T 1W5 Tel:(604)228-4838 Fax:(604)8-2114 Office of Director November 20, 1990 Dear Sir/Madam. Thank you for your letter enquiring about a position with the Biotechnology Laboratory at the University of British Columbia. I regret that we have no positions available which require your qualifications. Yours sincerely, David Grow Administrator
V etom vezhlivom "ot-vorot-povorote" klassicheskij poluzakrytyj tip delovogo pis'ma ves'ma umesten potomu, chto my imeem delo s prestizhnym universitetom Britanskoj Kolumbii (vot kuda menya zanosilo v svoe vremya!), gde edakij torzhestvennyj oficioz nikogo ne smutit. Adres otpravitelya, kak vidim, i podpis' sdvinuty vpravo -- kak pri "krasnoj stroke". |tot stil' opravdan v oformlenii pisem po povodu kakih-libo znachimyh sobytij, soboleznovanij ili zhe prosto pisem-pozdravlenij s dnem rozhdeniya vashego partnera po biznesu. Sushchestvuyut i inye momenty, k kotorym my eshche budem obrashchat'sya, gde poluzakrytyj tip pis'ma tak ili inache opravdan. Dumayu, chto sut' ego vam bolee ili menee ponyatna. Konechno, eto ne principial'no, gde vy postavite datu otpravleniya pis'ma, v pravom ili v levom uglu, v samom verhu blanka ili srazu pod adresom, no tot variant, chto ya privel pervym, bolee standarten i, soglasites', prost pri rabote na komp'yutere. On i ispol'zuetsya chashche vsego. Est' eshche prosto zakrytyj stil' oformleniya pisem. On otlichaetsya ot polnozakrytogo lish' tem, chto data i podpis' sdvinuty vpravo... 126
John McWillson - eto adres otpravitelya Assistant Director GML Office, West Str. 88, 38 New York 6787NY Julia Hatch High Str/ 84 24 a eto adres poluchatelya, tak nazyvaemyj vnutrennij Dublin 45773 JI adres; takoj zhe dolzhen stoyat' i na konverte Ireland September 4, 1995 Dear Julia Hatch, Our innovative course offers structured broad-based traiding in Management Research and Consultancy Methods. It is an advanced, one year course for academics, management practitioners, or those wishing to pursue a career in academia or consultancy. It is twelve month programme leading to a Masters degree or on successful completion, offers the option of continuing for a further twenty four months to study for a PhD in Management Studies within the Business School. For further details please contact Dr Diana Person. Sincerely Yours John McWillson
... chto ne sovsem udobno, pravda? Ne imeet principial'nogo znacheniya i to, chto vy stavite posle obrashcheniya Dear Sir (ili Dear Mr Henry) -- zapyatuyu ili dvoetochie. Anglichane predpochitayut pervoe, amerikancy -- vtoroe. Pravda, eto opyat'-taki peremeshalos'. Ochen' chasto stavyat zapyatuyu i amerikancy, ibo eto proshche. V klassicheskom polnozakrytom pis'me voobshche net nikakih znakov prepinaniya ni posle privetstviya, ni posle obrashcheniya, no na praktike eto pravilo ne prizhilos'. Vse predpochitayut 127 posle "Dear Sir" stavit' libo zapyatuyu, libo dvoetochie. |to kak-to kul'turnee. Drugoe delo, chto v uproshchennom stile voobshche otsutstvuyut privetstvie i podpis', chto i yavlyaetsya ego glavnym nedostatkom:
NIRP NATIONAL INSTITUTION OF RETIRED PERSONS October 14, 1992 Ms. Iva Savitsky Attorney-at-Law 200 Center Str. Freeport, Vermount 66521 Guest Lecture The member of the Freeport chapter of the National Institution of Retired Persons would indeed be interested in a lecture on Proposed Changes in the Financing of Medicare. Therefore, with much appreciation, I accept your offer to address our club. The NIRP meets every Tuesday at 8 P. M. in the auditorium of Freeport High School. I will call you in a few days to schedule a date for your lecture for the first Tuesday after the 20th that meets your convenience . The membership and I look forward, Ms. Savitsky, to your lecture on a topic so important to us all. HENRY PARSELL, PRESIDENT HP: vt
K podobnym uproshcheniyam prakticheski redko pribegayut, ved' v takom pis'me otsutstvuet "demonstraciya vezhlivosti" -- vazhnejshie atributy: '^dorogoj, dorogaya/ser, miss" i "iskrenne Vash". Bez nih poslanie napominaet skoree pamyatku, chem obrashchenie k komu-libo. Uproshchennyj stil' v chistom vide ya poka ne vstrechal. |lementarnaya kul'tura obshcheniya zastavlyaet lyudej pisat' v nachale "Dear Sir" (esli vy ne znaete, k komu obrashchat'sya po imeni) i "Sincerely Yours" v konce. Amerikanec, kak i anglichanin, ne stanet zhertvovat' vozmozhnost'yu 128 proizvesti horoshee vpechatlenie radi somnitel'noj vygody uproshchenij i ekonomii. A vot kvadratnyj stil' delovogo pis'ma:
NIRP NATIONAL INSTITUTION OF RETIRED PERSONS Ms. Iva Savitsky October 14, 1992 Attorney-at-Law 200 Center Str. Freeport, Vermount 66521 Dear Ms. Savitsky: SUBJECT:Guest Lecture The member of the Freeport chapter of the National Institution of Retired Persons would indeed be interested in a lecture on Proposed Changes in the Financing of Medicare. Therefore, with much appreciation, I accept your offer to address our club. The NIRP meets every Tuesday at 8 P. M. in the auditorium of Freeport High School. I will call you in a few days to schedule a date for your lecture for the first Tuesday after the 20th that meets your convenience. The membership and I look forward, Ms. Savitsky, to your lecture on a topic so important to us all. Sincerely Yours, National Institution Of Retired Persons Henry Parsell President HP/vt
129 Vnutrennij adres, data, podpis' prezidenta kompanii i inicialy otpravitelya pis'ma sostavlyayut kak by kvadrat. No u etogo stilya tot nedostatok, chto pis'mo neudobno nabirat' na komp'yutere -- von kuda nuzhno zagonyat' i .datu, i inicialy sostavitelya -- i tak zhe neudobno bystro prosmatrivat' tekst sverhu vniz. Prihoditsya "strelyat'" glazami to vlevo, to vpravo. Na praktike etot stil' esli i vstrechaetsya, to v urezannom vide: v pravom verhnem uglu ostavlyayut lish' datu, a vse ostal'noe -- kak v uproshchennom ili polnozakrytom pis'me. Ili lish' inicialy sekretarya ostayutsya v pravom nizhnem uglu. Kak vidim iz primerov, polnozakrytyj pobezhdaet vse prochie stili, tak kak yavlyaetsya samym udobnym i praktichnym. A sejchas projdemsya po "skeletu" delovogo pis'ma. Pervoe. Pis'mo pechataetsya bez vsyakih ispravlenij (ostav'te ih v chernovom variante). Mozhno, a inogda i nuzhno iz chisto psihologicheskih soobrazhenij pisat' i ot ruki. No ob etom vazhnom, na moj vzglyad, nyuanse chut' nizhe. Vtoroe. Tekst neobhodimo razbivat' na "smyslovye paragrafy". Delaetsya eto dlya togo, chtoby oblegchit' chtenie. I dlya krasoty, estestvenno, tozhe. Esli vashe poslanie uzh ochen' dlinnoe, to razbejte ego na dva-tri abzaca. Ne dopuskajte, chtoby za odnostrochnym paragrafom posle probela shel pyati-shesti-semistrochnyj. |to budet tyazhelo smotret'sya. Tret'e. Beloe prostranstvo. Ono dolzhno ravnomerno okruzhat' vash tekst. Esli v pis'me lish' odno ili dva-tri korotkih predlozheniya, ne pechatajte ih vverhu; najdite dlya etogo "zolotuyu seredinu". Esli vam ne hvataet odnogo lista (pravda, luchshe vse zhe umestit'sya na odnoj stranice, chemu ya vas popytayus' nauchit'), to ispol'zujte vtoroj, no ne suzhajte polya i ne pechatajte do samogo nizhnego kraya.
SOSTAVNYE CHASTI PISXMA Pervoe -- eto "shapka", t.e. to, chto uzhe otpechatano v verhnej chasti blanka -- dannye vashej firmy (esli vy, konechno, pishete ot ee lica; a esli ot sebya lichno, to mozhete obojtis' bez "shapki").
MAGATON/S Department Store 12745 Bulset Strip Los Angeles, California 941474
Vtoroe -- eto- data (naprimer, December 21, 1996), kotoraya stavitsya neskol'kimi strochkami nizhe "shapki" (ee, vprochem, stavyat inogda sverhu). 130 Tret'e -- eto vnutrennij adres. Hotya adres vashego partnera uzhe est' na konverte, tem ne menee on obyazatel'no ukazyvaetsya i v pis'me. Tochnee, pered pis'mom posle daty:
Cetrum Collection Agency 4376 Hollywood Boulevard. Los Angeles, California 947651
CHetvertoe -- eto privetstvie. "Dear Sir" -- esli vy ne znaete, kto budet chitat' vashe pis'mo tam, kuda vy ego posylaete; obrashchenie "Gentlemen/Gentlemen and Ladies" priemlemo lish' v teh sluchayah, kogda vashe .pis'mo nosit uzh sovsem diplomaticheski-oficial'nyj harakter, a v nashem sluchae eto ne goditsya. Pyatoe -- eto sam tekst. SHestoe -- eto podpis'. Syuda vhodyat: para teplyh slov Sincerely Yours, Truly Yours, Faithfully Yours, Best Regards, vashi imya i familiya plyus dolzhnost': Sergey Ivanov, the Executive Director. V podpisi, kak eto ni paradoksal'no, glavnoe -- vasha rospis'. Da-da! Esli my doveryaem tol'ko raznym gerbovym pechatyam, to na Zapade samoe vazhnoe -- podpisat'sya pod vsem tem, chto bylo napisano vyshe. Vash avtograf i vashi kratkie dannye, telefon ili nekij adres u nih cenyatsya povyshe vseh nashih pechatej, za kotorymi chasto ne vidno samogo cheloveka. I, nakonec, sed'moe -- eto inicialy togo, kto eto pis'mo otpravlyal i pisal: MG/vr. Propisnye bukvy -- eto vashi inicialy, a vtorye dve bukvochki, strochnye,-- eto inicialy, k primeru, vashej sekretarshi, kotoraya nabirala tekst. Vmesto "desh", chto idet posle vashih inicialov, mozhno stavit' i dvoetochie: MG:vr, eto bol'shogo znacheniya ne imeet. Sed'moj punkt komu-to pokazhetsya ne osobo sushchestvennym, no dlya shchepetil'nogo amerikanskogo biznesmena tem ne menee on yavlyaetsya vazhnym. |to dan' uvazheniya -- napomnit', kto rabotal nad sostavleniem dokumenta. YA obeshchal rasskazat', kogda mozhno i nuzhno pisat' pis'ma ot ruki. Vidite, ne zabyl. V principe ot ruki mozhno pisat' vsegda, esli u vas chernyj sterzhen'. Pri etom vy dolzhny pisat' razborchivo, pechatnymi bukvami. Poslednee osobenno vazhno, kogda vy pishete ot sebya lichno. Togda vashe pis'mo poluchaetsya bolee intimnym, bolee doveritel'nym, chto li. Vy demonstriruete etim, chto povod, po kotoromu vy pishete, vas volnuet. |to osobenno vazhno uchityvat', esli vy -- student iz maloobespechennoj sem'i ili, k primeru, chernobylec i u vas est' shans poehat' na stazhirovku, prinyat' uchastie v blagotvoritel'noj akcii ili prosto otdohnut' v molodezhnom lagere. Togda vash "Reference" dazhe zhelatel'no pisat' ot ruki primerno v takom duhe: 131
Dear Sir, I would be very very grateful to your company if I only could use such a wonderful chance to have study practice in the USA where I might have improved my English and met new friends...
Takoe poslanie vyglyadit bolee serdechnym i zainteresovannym, chem, k primeru, napechatannoe na lazernom printere i risuyushchee v voobrazhenii, skoree, preuspevayushchego molodogo referenta, chem nuzhdayushchegosya v pomoshchi bednogo studenta. No ne zabyvajte, chto vse kanony i forma postroeniya delovogo pis'ma '-- - "shapka", data, privetstvie, sam tekst i podpis' -- sohranyayutsya. Takzhe uchtite, chto v anglijskom yazyke uzhe davno ne upotreblyaetsya tak, kak v russkom, propis' s razlichnymi vykrutasami, zavitochkami i naklonom v pravuyu storonu. Na Zapade vse bol'she pishut pryamo, pechatno, bez naklona, a esli i s naklonom, to v levuyu storonu. Propis' s pravym naklonom tem ne menee sushchestvuet. Ee ispol'zuyut v kakih-libo osobyh, torzhestvennyh sluchayah: pri pozdravleniyah s yubileem, svad'boj ili s nagradoj anglijskoj korolevy... Na Zapade (da i na Vostoke) k komp'yuteram uzhe nastol'ko privykli, chto dazhe druz'ya pishut drug drugu pis'ma na komp'yutere, chto dlya nih (i dlya mnogih iz nas) privychnej i bystrej, chem otyskat' avtoruchku, list bumagi i cherkanut' neskol'ko strok. Dazhe esli vy perepisyvaetes' s chelovekom, s kotorym u vas dostatochno dobrye i druzhestvennye otnosheniya, to i togda soblyudajte vse principy delovoj perepiski. Vot pochitajte pis'mo direktora amerikanskogo lagerya otdyha, kotoryj otnosilsya ko mne, kak k svoemu synu: 132
October 8, 1992 Hi, Michael, I am asking for your help! We have been advised by the Post Office to send you two letters. One addressed to you at Bellorussia and one addressed to same name, same address, and instead of "Bellorussia" Byelarus, Russia. Please send us a card or letter as soon as you receive this letter along with the date received. We were told that if the address is not the current, correct one you will not get the mail. Your shirt is ready to be mailed but we do not -want to lose it or not have you receive it. Our best to you and much love from all at Camp Alder-sgate and especially the Thomas Family. Jeffrey C. Thomas Director JCT: v
Kak vidite -- vpolne druzheskoe pis'mo; tem ne menee ono vyderzhano v kanonah delovoj perepiski. Lish' tol'ko "Hi" vmesto oficial'nogo privetstviya. Vernemsya k tradicionnomu delovomu pis'mu. Sleduyushchee, chto nado sdelat' pri sostavlenii delovogo pis'ma,-- eto izbavit'sya ot zhelaniya "zvuchat'" slishkom po-delovomu. Vot, k primeru, fraza: As per you request, please find eclosed herewith a check in the amount of $16. 49. Takie vyrazheniya, kak "herewith" i "as per", ne sozdayut nichego, krome izlishnej chopornosti. A vam prosto nado najti nechto srednee mezhdu druzheskim i oficial'nym tonom. As you requested. I am enclosing a check for $16. 49. Vtoroj primer bolee prost, ponyaten i produktiven. Da i bolee lakonichen. I eshche. Zabud'te v delovoj perepiske pro vse razgovornye sokrashcheniya. Pishite ne "don't", a "do not", ne "isn't", a "is not", ne "haven't", a "have not" i t.d. 133 Uchityvaya vse skazannoe, prosmotrite spisok slovosochetanij, kotoryh luchshe izbegat' v delovom pis'me: hotya eti vyrazheniya i chasto vstrechayutsya u amerikancev, yanki ne schitayut ih podhodyashchimi dlya delovyh pisem. Oni slishkom gromozdkie i oficioznye. according to our records acknowledge receipt of as to with reference to with regard to at hand on hand attached please find enclosed please find attached hereto enclosed herewith enclosed please find beg to inform beg to tell for your information hereby heretofore herewith I have your letter I wish to thank may I ask in due course of time in receipt of in the near future in view of our Mrs Johnson permit me to say pursuant to 134 thank you again thank you in advance thereon Vse eti slova i slovosochetaniya vzyaty iz arhivov amerikanskoj delovoj perepiski; sami amerikancy sovetuyut drug drugu ih ne upotreblyat'. A vot eshche spisok slov i vyrazhenij, kotoryh, sleduet izbegat' (levyj stolbik), a vmesto nih pol'zovat'sya temi, chto v pravom stolbike:
Vmesto Pishite
advice/ inform say/ tell/ let us know
along these lines like
on the order of as/ according to
at an early date/ at your earliest convenience soon/ today/ next week/ a specific date
at this. time/ at the present time/ at this writing now/ at present
check to cover check for
due to the fact that because
for the purpose of for
forward send
free of charge free
in accordance with according to
in advance of/ prior to