Ocenite etot tekst:


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 Email: deRokambol@pop.convey.ru
 Date: 2 Oct 1998
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     "Durak ne poverit, umnyj ne pojmet"
             (Anonim)

     "...o  lyubvi ne govori, o nej vse skazano..."
             (Klavdiya  SHul'zhenko)

     Slon nikogda ne ebetsya zrya!
     Ebka slona -- eto zametnoe
     yavlenie prirody.
            (Vpolne rezonnoe
             i obosnovannoe vozrazhenie
             odnomu byvshemu kompozitoru ,
             kotoryj zayavil,
             chto "Slon ebetsya zrya".)

     nenavizhu mat'-gadyuku...
     ...i papashu -- podleca
            (Tatuirovka. V nekotoryh zonah znak aristokrata)

     K sozhaleniyu, mnogoe eshche ne yasno, nekotoroe- opisano punktirom; real'nye
imena  my  vynuzhdeny  skryt'  za  psevdonimami -- hotya by dlya togo, chtoby ne
lishat' ne sovsem beznadezhnyh lyudej ili lyudej svyazannyh s nimi  dogovorami  i
obyazatel'stvami,  uspeha  v Svobodnyh Neekonomicheskih Zonah, esli oni vse zhe
tuda kak -- nibud' protyryatsya.
     I pisat'  prihoditsya  o  veshchah  skuchnyh  i  banal'nyh  sukonnym  yazykom
soldata.
     Itak.  V  zhizni mnogih lyudej kogda-nibud' sluchaetsya takoj moment, kogda
oni zadumyvaetsya o tom, kak govoritsya "kto my  takie?  otkuda  my?  kuda  my
idem?"...
     I esli takie lyudi pered etim hotya by nemnozhko chitali chto-nibud', vrode:
Krasnoznamennogo    Ordenonosnogo    NKVDeshnika   Starika   Hottabycha;   ili
nezabvennogo No20 "Instrukciyu dlya redaktorov i perevodchikov s  amerikanskogo
na ridnu movu", ili kakie-nibud' poganye redakcii i perevody Stirushki Inovny
Kastronedy  ne  menee  poganogo izdatel'stva, "Sofiya Vilyasevna Gibovich"; ili
novogo russkogo pisatelya Vektora Marks-i-Monova (psevdonim  rViktor  MiMovs,
kniga-bestseller dlya fezeushnikov "Dyadya Vasya i Polnye Radosti SHa!")...;
     Ili  hotya by nemnogo chto nazyvaetsya rrabotali nad sobojs, naprimer: pod
voditel'stvom Pontii Pilatovny P-Iudejskoj, ili  ee  osnovnogo  Mastera  33,
Centa  Gnusbergera;  ili  --  postoronnim  im Mashej i Kolyanom, Vital'kerom i
Alenushkoj; ili -- sufiya-domushnika  Sereni  Rusakova,  ugolovnika  v  dushe  i
vegetarianca;
     ili  amelikanskogo  dessidenta  Bobki  Majklova -- pogonyalo "Botva" (i,
nekstati, no u nego prepoganejshee i ubytochnoe vo vseh  smyslah  izdatel'stvo
"ITG"  --  izdatel'stvo  Instituta  Transpersonal'noj  Ginekologii -- chto-to
trockistskoe, kak v Berline -- odin polukosoj i  polukrivoj  Katalker  --  i
vokrug  mnogo  chastichno  polovoaktivnyh  idiotok i idiotov, kotoryh trockist
Katalker lechit i uchit po Svoemu Obrazu i Podobiyu chem-to dlya  psihov,  chem-to
psihoaktivnym  i  izdaet gryaznuyu gazetenku "Za pis'ki Iz-Za Tit'ki", zhertvuya
vse svoe dragocennoe vremya invalida lyudyam).
     Koroche,  hvatit  zlobstvovat'  i  prepirat'sya  --  kakimi  by  ne  byli
vysheupomyanutye  istochniki  informacii,  blagodarya  im  potencial'nye Putniki
(t.e.Ucheniki) nachinayut iskat' svoj Put' ili hotya-by  kakih-nibud'  Uchitelej,
kotorye,  v krajnem sluchae, pomogut im etot Put' najti i bystro, effektivno,
s dostoinstvom i chest'yu, projti.
     I esli  chelovek  okazyvaetsya  neleniv  i  nastojchiv,  i  namerenie  ego
nepreklonno,  (a  takih  dovol'no  mnogo  v eto vremya dnya i goda) -- on, kak
pravilo, ochen' bystro obnaruzhivaet samogo sebya (ili sebya samogo) na Puti, na
Bol'shoj Doroge.
     Kakov etot Put' pri samom  pervom  vzglyade  na  nego?  Pro  nego  metko
podmetil  obshchepriznannyj  sovetskij  poet  sleduyushchee:  r...vdol'  Dorogi les
gustoj s babami-YAgami, a v  konce  Dorogi  toj  aya-yaj-yaj  i  oj-ej-ej!...  a
sharikov  vernulsya,  a  germana  vse  net  i  net!..s  I  vot eta perspektiva
bol'shinstvu kazhetsya i neraduzhnoj, i ogorchitel'noj, i o plohom dazhe i  dumat'
ne  hochetsya  (esli konechno nash Putnik ne psih s yarko vyrazhennoj suicidal'noj
problematikoj, ili uzh sovsem Bespechnyj Gulyal'shchik); zato durakov v nashe vremya
malo, poetomu vstavshij na etot Put' nachinaet ozirat'sya v poiskah  Uchitelya  i
neozhidanno  bystro  nahodit -( i ne odnogo, a zatem i drugogo kak, naprimer,
Milarepa-jog), a srazu Treh i eshche Dvuh ih shakti v pridachu, t.e. ochen' bystro
obrazuetsya t.n. raktual'nyj pentakl's, gde Uchenik postoyanno v  Centre  --  v
Centre Sobytij.
     Kto  takie? Kto sii est'? CHto mozhno rasskazat' o nih, etih Uchitelyah, ne
narushaya nikakih Ordenskih Tajn, o kotoryh tak lyubit popizdet'  komissionersha
Pontiya  Pilatovna  ili  drugoj  trockist,  Katalker?  A  vot  chto. |to mozhno
rasskazat', hotya i uveren, chto mnogim  Ishchushchim  Put'  Znaniya  eta  konkretika
pokazhetsya neinteresnoj i dazhe protivnoj.
     Odnogo  iz  treh  Uchitelej  zovut SHuga Oblomovich Oblomov. |to moguchij i
krepkij paren', ambal, ves' v ordenah i medalyah za podvigi i boevye zaslugi,
otmechennyj shramami  i  nashivkami  za  raneniya,  t.n.  "vidyashchij"  --  ili,  v
prostorechii,  "yasnovidyashchij".  On  ochen' chutok k lyuboj opasnosti i operativno
reagiruet  na  lyubuyu  stressovuyu  situaciyu.  SHuga  Oblomovich  obshchepriznannyj
avtoritet v etih delah (dazhe napisal "|nciklopediyu dlya Riskovyh") i poetomu,
kak  professional,  ochen'  i  ochen'  sklonen  shugat'sya  (pugat'sya), chto, kak
pravilo proizvodit bol'shoe vpechatlenie na okruzhayushchih (kotoryh, i ya ne otkroyu
nikakih Ordenskih Tajn, s nim vmeste shest',  a  imenno  --  SHuga  Oblomovich,
Prikol Oblomovich, Zdravyj Smysl Oblomov i dve shakti, Masha Velichkina i sestra
ee,  tozhe Masha, Presledkina. Ob ih slozhnyh rodstvennyh svyazyah budet napisano
pozdnee).  Rassuditel'nyj  i  vnimatel'nyj  Putnik  rassuzhdaet  obychno  tak:
"...esli  Sam SHuga Oblomovich ispugalsya, znachit ono stoit togo..." -- vot tak
rassuzhdayut obychno ego vnimatel'nye poputchiki -- i pugayutsya ochen' sil'no, tak
chto nogi podgibayutsya -- bukval'no, v pryamom smysle "do usrachki".
     Pro SHugu Oblomovicha Oblomova poka  vse.  Teper'  pro  drugogo.  Drugogo
Uchitelya  zovut  Prikol  Oblomovich  Oblomov.  |to  naivnyj  i  shchedryj paren',
uvenchannyj zolotymi medalyami i lavrami, imeyushchij bol'shoe kolichestvo  diplomov
ot  raznyh  Akademij  i Universitetov raznyh stran; u nego takzhe ochen' mnogo
patentov i svidetel'stv na izobreteniya i poleznye modeli (naprimer,  nedavno
on   nachitalsya   filosofa  Fridriha  Nicshe  i  zapatentoval  ves'ma  nauchnoe
"Dokazatel'stvo Bytiya Boga" -- "Dokazatel'stvo Bytiya BG" --  i,  kstati,  ne
rekomenduyu  putat' s Drugim BG, buddistom iz Sankt-Leningrada, ne to sej shar
mozhet ochen' bystro ssingulirovat' koj-kuda). Prikol sam  ochen'  prilezhnyj  i
staratel'nyj   uchenik,   i   ochen'  lyubit  delitsya  znaniem  s  uchenikami  i
poputchikami. (Malen'kij, no legko popravimyj probel  v  ego  obrazovanii  ob
obrazovanii  --  Prikol  nikogda  ne  slyhal  o Lekcii No666 dlya prodvinutyh
uchenikov Konspirologii. */  Lekciya  No666  schitaetsya  utrachennoj).  I  zdes'
istoriya  s SHugoj povtoryaetsya v nekotorom smysle kak fars -- Prikol Oblomovich
ochen' prikalyvaetsya ko vsemu, chto skachet i vertitsya, begaet i  plavaet,--  i
tak  samozabvenno  prikalyvaetsya,  chto vse vokrug tozhe ahayut i ohayut -- esli
sam Prikol Oblomovich Oblomov, professor i akademik, prikololsya,  to  v  etom
chto-to   ah!   ah!  est'.  Tak  rassuzhdaet  obychno  vnimatel'nyj  Putnik.  I
prikalyvaetsya.
     I SHuga i Prikol Oblomovy -- krajnie frejdisty,  blyad',  psihoanalitiki,
odin krajnij levyj, drugoj -- krajne pravyj, i zhenaty na svoih rodnyh tetkah
--  i  mamashah,  kotorye  yavlyayutsya  otchasti  rodnymi, otchasti -- dvoyurodnymi
sestrami, i  ochen'  sil'no  nenavidyat  ih  i  svoego  papashku  (i  svoego-zhe
dedushku), kotoryj i yavlyaetsya tret'im Uchitelem.
     Uchitelya  --  dedushku  --  papashku  zovut Zdravyj Smysl Oblomov, i posle
rozhdeniya docherej on stal ubezhdennym vegetariancem  i  posledovatelem  Onona,
t.e. drochiloj; hotya raz rodilis', to uzhe obratno ne zasunesh', i vsyakie obety
nedavaniya  myasu  i  seksu  po men'shej mere -- smeshnye prihoti. No, vozmozhno,
zdes' -- Ordenskaya Tajna.
     ZHenu -- shakti SHugi Oblomovicha zovut  Masha.  I  zhenu  --  shakti  Prikola
Oblomovicha tozhe zovut Masha. No po mamam familii u nih raznye -- devich'i.
     U  odnoj familiya Velichkina, i proyavlyaetsya ona kak Maniya Velichiya, v dvuh
krajnih ipostasyah -- libo ona ochen' velikaya, libo ona ochen' nichtozhnaya. Eshche u
nee est' partijnaya klichka  Polovaya  Sderzhannost'  Dagomys,  deva  vostochnogo
vida. Klitor u nee bol'shoj i horoshij, no eto ne yavlyaetsya tem ne menee Tajnoj
-- vopros chasto obsuzhdaetsya na semejnyh sovetah.
     U drugoj familiya Presledkina, i proyavlyaetsya ona kak Maniya Presledovaniya
(opyat'  zhe  v  krajnih ipostasyah) -- libo ee kto nibud' presleduet, libo ona
kogo nibud' presleduet (naprimer, kakuyu-nibud' ochen' Vysokuyu Cel').  Tak  zhe
kak u Mashi Velichkinoj, u nee est' partijnaya klichka, vpolne otrazhayushchaya manery
ee  vneshnego  i ochen' vneshnego proyavleniya, a imenno -- Polovaya Raspushchennost'
Picunda (kak v izvestnoj pesne "...p'yanaya, pomyataya -- pionervozhataya,  s  kem
gulyaesh'  ty  teper',  shlyuha konopataya..."). Klitor u nee tak sebe, no tit'ki
vpolne rabochie.
     Hotya oni (Mashi) ne ochen' pohozhi druzhka  na  druzhku,  ih  chasto  putayut,
osobenno  SHuga  Oblomovich  i Prikol Oblomovich. SHuga s perepuga i ot stressa,
Prikol  --  po  naivnosti  i  blizorukosti.  Da  v  sushchnosti  oni   yavlyayutsya
sestrami-bliznecami, potomu chto oni hot' i rodilis' ot raznyh mamash, no zato
ot  odnogo  krepkogo  otca  i v odin den' i chas, s nebol'shim pereryvom v dve
minuty.
     CHto kasaetsya drugih rodstvennyh svyazej, to nikto tochno ne  pomnit,  kto
kogo  rodil  (voobshche,  odna  Manya rodila -- SHugu Oblomova, drugaya -- Prikola
Oblomova, skoree vsego -- Dagomys), krome obshchego otca, dyadi i deda  Zdravogo
Smysla, kotoryj ili molchit, kak partizan, ili govorit veshchi ves'ma zdravye --
on paren' otnyud' ne glupyj -- no vsegda ne vovremya i neumestnye.
     Krome  vsego  prochego,  Tretij  Uchitel' nikuda idti ne hochet -- Ebal on
etot Put' pryamo i po notam -- on i tak napered znaet, chto tam, vperedi --  i
etim  nemnogo  pohozh  na  odnogo  indejca  iz  odnogo plemeni YUzhnoj Ameriki,
kotoryj rasskazyval mne za pivom, chto u ego plemeni net  ponyatiya  o  budushchem
vremeni:  to-est'  --  vse chto vperedi -- proshloe, kotoroe razvorachivaetsya v
nastoyashchem, chelovek ih plemeni  dvigayas'  vpered,  dvizhetsya  pryamo  navstrechu
proshlomu,  a  za  spinoj  u nego nichego net. Stranno, chto etot indeec uporno
otrical obychaj chelovecheskih zhertvoprinoshenij v ih  plemeni.  Neponyatno,  kak
oni  tam  ustraivalis'  --  skoree vsego, oni praktikovali bytovoj (on zhe --
transportnyj, i on zhe -- kommunal'nyj -- kak v  nashej  strane)  kannibalizm.
Voobshche-to on napolovinu indeec.
     Koroche,  Zdravomu  Smyslu  nikto  nikogda ne verit. K tomu zhe on teper'
Brahmachar'ya  Zloebuchaya  i  vospital  u  svoih  docherej  i   vnukov   vysokie
moral'no-nravstvennye  principy,  iz-za chego oni vse vremya pizdyachat i huyachat
drug-druga, vse vremya gruppiruyas'  i  peregruppiruyas'  v  raznye  sochetaniya,
kotorye   opredelyayutsya  obostrennym  chuvstvom  spravedlivosti  i  rstrastnym
zhelaniem pomoch' miru stat' hot' nemnogo luchshes.
     Tak, naprimer, esli SHuga, ob®edinivshis' so Zdravym  Smyslom  i  Mashkami
vdrug  prizhuchat  Prikola,  i  Putnik, ustavshij ot postoyannyh svar i razborok
pytaetsya  osmotretsya  vokrug   i   nemnogo   otreshitsya   ot   germeticheskogo
doktrinerstva  i okkul'tnogo tajnovedeniya (ot nekotoryh Ordenskih Tajn), kak
naprimer devki, ili SHuga peremetyvayutsya na storonu Prikola i vmeste nachinayut
ushchuchivat' protivnuyu storonu, s novoj  energiej  vtyagivaya  Uchenika  v  svezhuyu
svaru.

     I tak mozhet prodolzhat'sya dolgo, poka Orel ne sklyuet.
     I vragu ne pozhelaesh'. Vprochem, pust'.
     Voistinu, kogda Uchenik gotov, uchitel' uhodit.*/

     ---------*/
     Esli  zhe Putnik svoloch' i renegat, i mozhet postupitsya principami, to on
s'ebyvaet s Puti i idet svoej dorogoj.
     Tut zhe sleduet i ves'ma  zanyaten  sleduyushchij  effekt-posledejstvie:  Vse
byvshie  predvaritel'nye  chestnye  i  dobrosovestnye  nastavniki (tipa Starik
Hottabych, No20,  Stirushki  Inovny,  Vektora  Pel'menina,  Pontii  Pilatovny,
Gnusberga,  Mashi i Kolyana, Vital'kera i Lenushki, Bobki Majklova, Katalkera i
t.d.) eshche kakoe-to vremya po staroj druzhbe zabotyatsya ob ustavshem  Putnike  --
predlagayut  raznoobraznuyu  ezotericheskuyu  literaturu  (naprimer:  "Iskusstvo
umirat' molodym", "Daosskij Seks", "YAntra-Tantra", "Hadzha-Pudzha"  i  t.d.  i
t.p.),  ili  --  zamanchivye  realizacionnye  situacii  (vypustim tvoyu knigu,
al'bom, vystavku, disk...); ili  --  horoshie  novye  toniziruyushchie  lekarstva
(naprimer: amerikanskie vitaminy, propolis, mumie, travyanoj chaj i t.d.), ili
znakomstva  s  krutymi  Masterami  s  Dal'nego  Vostoka  i Dikogo Zapada ili
drugimi rosnovnymis guru.
     Potom otvalivayutsya odin za drugim, malen'kie kroshki.  No  samye  chutkie
kakoe-to  vremya  budut bazlat' i bazarit', obvinyat' v sektanstve, satanizme,
nehristianskom povedenii, nebuddijskom povedenii, netovarishcheskom  povedenii,
nerycarskom povedenii, cherstvosti, zombificirovannosti, sovkizme, otsutstvii
idealov, popytke stat' deputatom, obzyvat' nekoronovannym dzenskim masterom;
priebyvat'sya  s  dzog-chenom,  dzenom  i  bonom  --  i t.d. i t.p. Potom tozhe
otvalyatsya, malen'kie kroshechki.
     ----------

     Vot oni, Nekotorye Ordenskie Tajny, o kotoryh uzhe mozhno :


      Tajna 1.

     Anna Bezant ne znala, chto Adol'f Gitler hotel  dat'  Rudol'fu  SHtajneru
ZHeleznyj  Krest,  no  potom  ego  blizhajshee  okruzhenie  (mozhet byt', Borman)
ugovorili  ego  ogranichitsya  sovetskimi  oficerskimi   hromovymi   sapogami.
Operaciya  byla  blestyashche  osushchestvlena  sluzhbami  Lavrentiya  Berii, no Iosif
Vissarionovich Stalin velel posle etogo agentam Kontrol'noj  Komissii  Partii
szhech'  Misterium  --  a  zaodno  sozhgli  i Germanskij Rejhstag. Potom Stalin
podumyval takzhe o tom, chtoby posle  vojny  nagradit'  vseh  yaponcev  Zolotoj
Zvezdoj  Geroev  Socialisticheskogo  Truda, no Mao pozhidilsya zolota i rabochej
sily, za chto emu OSO prisudilo 25 let bez prava perepiski. Srok on otbyval v
Severnoj Koree.

      Tajna 2.

     Lyudi delyatsya na Zasrancev, Zassancev i Toshnotikov -- verno  tol'ko  dlya
muzhskogo pola.
     Zasrancy.  Zasrancy  delyatsya  na  Polnyh  Govnyukov, CHastichnyh Govnyukov,
Polnyh Zasrancev i Odnobokih Zasrancev (kakovyh dva vida -- Zasrancy po Otcu
i Zasrancy po Materi). Polnye Govnyuki obychno strashnye  vezunchiki,  naprimer:
lovegog   i   pedalas   Vonya   Lovchek.   Redko,  no  vstrechayutsya  izyskannye
raznovidnosti, naprimer: Nikolya  Nikitin,  genij  scenicheskogo  dvizheniya  --
Zasranec, Najdennyj na Pomojke.
     Zassancy.  Zassancy  delyatsya na Nochnyh Zassancev, Zassancev po P'yani (v
sushchnosti, Polnye Govnyuki, no skromnye), Muzykantov (Zassancy  po  Materi)  i
Strategov (Zassancy po Otcu).
     Toshnotiki.  Toshnotiki delyatsya na Prostyh Toshnotikov, Slozhnyh Toshnotikov
i Umnikov. Sredi Umnikov vstrechayutsya  Blevuny,  Pizdostradal'cy  (Umniki  po
Otcu)  i  Pidory  (Umniki po Materi). Klassifikaciya zhenskogo naseleniya menee
interesna  i  vrazumitel'na,  no  dlya  ishchushchih  nameknem:  Mat',  Nedomat'  i
Peremat'.

      Tajna 3.

     Generalissimus Suvorov na samom dele nichego i nikogo ne boyalsya.

      Tajna 4.

"Bej zhidov, spasaj masonov!", "Bej sovkov, spasaj zhidov!", "Bej zhidov,
spasaj sovkov!" -- prokommunisticheskie lozungi s pyatitysyacheletnim stazhem.

      Tajna 5.

     Devyatoe  maya  --  Den'  Osvobozhdeniya  Fashizma  ot  Germanii. Avtor etoj
ostroumnoj geopoliticheskoj koncepcii Pozhiloj Zayac.

      Tajna 6.

     Samye   protivnye   Pizdostradal'cy   --   Masony-Pizdostradal'cy    iz
Severo-Amerikanskih  Soedinennyh  SHtatov. U nih vse vremya myaso otdelyaetsya ot
kostej (sindrom Makbenak) -- i za eto ih ne lyubyat zhenshchiny.

      Tajna 7.

     Na vid ni huya ne opredelish', devushka provodnica, ili ne devushka.

      Tajna 8.

     Ebya fetishi staryh druzej, ustavshij Putnik otdyhaet ot trudov.

      Tajna 9.

     Bespartijnyj Fashist luchshe, chem eblivyj fetishist.

      Tajna 10.

     Nachinaetsya idealami, a konchaetsya pod odeyalami. |to skazal Al'bert Ogyust
Napoleon de Rokambol'.

      Tajna 11.

     Uchenik, soshedshij s Puti, nikogda ne budet gotov.

      Tajna 12.

     Kak zakalyalas' stal'? Da nikak. Zakalyalos' zhelezo.

      Tajna 13.

     Medved' boyalsya Prepodobnogo Sergiya Radonezhskogo i pomogal  emu  stroit'
zimoj  dom,  taskal  brevna.  |to skazal Lev Tolstoj. Za eto pisatel' Maksim
Gor'kij otluchil ego ot cerkvi. (Belyj Medved' opasaetsya Sv.Lyucifera).

      Tajna 14.

     Saj Baba -- kleptoman. Tyrit u SHivy. Za eto ego ochen' mnogie lyubyat.

      Tajna 15.

     Iskusstvovedy tyryat u hudozhnikov.  |to  sluchaj,  protivnyj  sluchayu  Saj
Baby.

      Tajna 16.

     Hudozhniki lyubyat horoshih poetov i muzykantov, a iskusstvovedov ne lyubyat.

      Tajna 17.

     Hudozhnik  mozhet inogda pozvolit' sebe perespat' s iskusstvovedshej, esli
ona budet odna, golaya, i oni budut predohranyatsya.

      Tajna 18.

     "ZHdu otveta, kak soldat -- mineta",  --  tak  zakanchivayut  svoi  pis'ma
lyubimym  ustalye  frontoviki. |to vsego lish' igrivaya shutka. Nastoyashchij soldat
ne zhdet mineta, a beret siloj oruzhiya.

      Tajna 19.

     Nastoyashchij polkovodec zahodit snachala v sortir, potom v stolovuyu,  potom
v kazarmu, potom na plac. I uzh tol'ko posle vsego -- v lazaret.

      Tajna 20.

     Detyam interesno podglyadyvat' za Tolstymi, kogda Lev s Sofiej delaet "ne
to", no   --   nehorosho.  Tolstomu  za  det'mi  podglyadyvat'  i  nehorosho  i
neinteresno.

      Tajna 21.

     Miru -- Mir! Ochen' horoshij voennyj deviz!

      Tajna 22.

     Ne umnyh lyubyat molodye baby, a krasivyh. |to skazal Dostoevskij.


                  1998









     El  '  Kuteya  abu  Farabi  writes  that hippogriffians by their origin
derive from the north god -- joker Loog (who was good in  many  crafts)  and
girl  from  the  East  --  Lilit (who was created in the night, earlier than
Eve). Ostensibly she was seduced by Loog who used a magic  apple  of  orange
colour  with  unusual properties, which he specially made still in Horias --
and has deprived her of her innocence on the  dawn  of  the  day  of  summer
solstice  in  canonic  position  "Mandarin  drake with a duck are combined",
exactly when she was absorbing the transparent piece of  this  magic  apple.
Their combination caused the origin of all ancient and modern hippogriffians
strange  beings,  hardly  predictable;  greatly  interested  in  paradoxical
aphorisms and fond to appear in the dreams, verses and songs of some  people
and trees -- always in different images.
     In   his   culture-philosophic  treatise  "Usefulness  of  Useless  and
Uselessness of Useful" El -- Kuteya reports  also  that  Hippogriffia  (also
called  Orange  Island)  was discovered by the famous Turkish astronavigator
Serik Rokambayev, who calculated its site near Assal island --  just  as  in
ancient  times  the astronomers Jean Urben Leverier and John Couch Adams had
discovered  the  planet  Neptune;  like  deacon  and  scout  Jonathan  Swift
discovered  satellites of Mars: Deimos (Horror) -- for wise ones, and Phobos
(Fear) -- for ordinary people; and like Clyde  William  Tombo  from  Arizona
discovered planet Pluto.
     Others   assert   that   the   Orange  Island  was  discovered  by  two
merchants-travelers who had set off in long-term  trip  from  the  heart  of
Eurasia  with  the  purpose to found a New Silk Way. Thinking that they have
discovered a new way to China, they have discovered  a  new  country  on  an
island.  It  has  turned  out  exactly as in America and Columbus situation.
After natives of an island found out that there are  an  Outer  Worlds  they
began to float, to walk and to fly all over the world, to appear in people's
dreams  and  reality.  So,  in  order  not to confuse them with Chinese from
China,  people  started  to  call  them  "Hippochinese"   first   and   then
"Hippogriffians"  --  probably,  according  to  the second name of an Orange
Island -- Island of  Hippogriff,  and  to  their  extraordinary  methods  of
traveling between times and spaces...
     Some  assert  also  that  at the center of their country, under a hill,
that is in a valley of the river Uz, for many centuries there is big  orange
Apple,  about which local elders and wise men tell, that it was created by a
local god of shining light Loog the Long-handed, to seduce a  certain  girl,
for  her to leave a beautiful Hall of the Friends and to become his beloved,
and -- Mother of all Hippogriffians -- and for the first time he came to her
ostensibly as a Winged Being -- Hippogriff...
     The ethnographer and structuralist of the school of Claud Levi-Strauss,
Daniil Wildonion, when investigating Hippogriffian dialects and customs, had
found in their myths a model of an arrangement  of  existence  in  space  --
time,  which  hitherto  was never met anywhere else, and which appears to be
the basic way of existing of the majority of Hippogriffians.
     Hitherto majority of them consider that they live many  lives  at  same
moment,  --  but  not  one  by  the another, as Indians and ordinary Chinese
people believe, but at the same time --  in  many  times  and  many  spaces,
providing   in  the  quality  of  demonstrative  example  ripened  plant  of
dandelion. As a base of wholeness of  the  lives  they  consider  a  special
psychic  formation  (called  "Heel"  on  their ancient dialect) connected to
breath, speech and figurative thinking, and possessing  all  characteristics
of  transfinite  sets  --  similar to what was described in "Alef", story by
Jorje-Luis  Borjes,  or  in  the  quarterly  report   of   Vector   Mimovich
Vasilyev-Pavlovich  "The  Garden  of  Diverging  Heels"  ("Annual of Magadan
Academy of Sciences", N49, p.p. 108-144).
     Moreover, the similarity  old  Russian,  ancient  Chinese,  Celtic  and
Hippogriffian   mythological   modules,   images  and  hieroglyphs-signs  is
reasonably interesting. For example, in all  listed  cultures  we  can  meet
personifications  which are named differently, but are frequently similar in
their essence -- "Single-legged  Kui",  "The  Singing  Bull",  "Flying  Wild
Thunder-Boar",  "Eight-headed  Wolf-Centaurs",  "Network Multimedia", "Lunar
Tryn Hare", "Solar Bear-Chamomile" -- and so on, and  so  forth  --  initial
pictures  of  some  images-personifications are enclosed, for it to be clear
what are we talking about.
     Probably, saturation and multivalence of Hippogriffian  archetypes  are
connected  to  the  same  special feature of psycholinguistic anatomy of the
native Hippogriffians,  which  ancient  Hippogriffians  called  "Heel",  and
modern  Hippogriffians call "Individualized Internal-External Alef" -- their
original method to travel through different times and different spaces.
     For the same  reason  ordinary  people  and  other  earthly  beings  --
banshee,  monks  --  wizards,  fox  --  demons,  monocles, nags, amphisbens,
griffs, hippogriffs and others, being unfamiliar  with  Hippogriffian  Heel,
frequently  perceive  and describe them as people, but: two-three-headed and
four-six-handed, four-six-legged ones; infinitely appearing  and  infinitely
disappearing  (as a famous smile of a famous cat); constantly changing their
height, frequently with two-three pairs of eyes and two-three noses and ears
of the different form; -- and, certainly, consider them very inconvenient in
the  intimate  relations  at  least  because  we  are  not   talking   about
bisexuality,   but   --   quadrosexuality,   pentasexuality   and   even  --
multisexuality of the native  inhabitants  of  small,  but  active  country.
Though,  attentive  researchers  of  Hippogriffian special features (Vasiliy
Maximov, Pu-Sunling (Lyao-Chjai), Retif de la Breton and  others,  not  less
worthy  ones)  assert  that  the majority of natives are octosexual. And, as
inhabitants of the Orange Island use to say, -- "  Let  it  be  a  shame  to
those, who will think bad about it!".
     To  this  special feature of their psycholinguistic constitution (Heel)
connects the fact that as a means of conveyance in their trips to the  Outer
Worlds  Hippogriffians  usually  use  a  special  headbands and head dresses
(specially made on the Days of Summer Solstice) -- and as navigation maps --
various  magic  squares,  mantic  systems,  foretelling  tradition,  fortune
telling practices and so-called chronotopes and tetramorphs.
     For example: fortune telling by mutton shoulder-blade and woolen rolls;
scattering  beans and grains; geomantic rituals; fortune telling by the Book
of Changes, Book of Great Mystery and turtle  shells;  observation  of  crow
flights;  contemplation  of  the  ways of dragon-clouds; telling fortunes by
cards and lucid dream meditations with Tarot cards; wishing and  observation
of  changes  of  signs; attentive reading of dream books; felt boot throwing
and egg rolling; fortune telling by mushrooms, smoking  pipe,  coffee  dregs
and  tea-leafs;  sorting  stalks  of  the certain plants; throwing bones and
coins in the air...
     And at least -- fortune telling by "Rubayat"  of  great  mathematician,
Sufi  of  Nakshbandi Order -- Omar Hayam... One thinks of a number and line,
opens the certain page -- and so on, and so on...

     The author of the report:
     Fox, Walking the Superearthly Tao-Way
     Serge Michelle Lenore de Rocambole,
     also called --
     Fox from the Northern Capital.

Last-modified: Sat, 03 Oct 1998 11:07:00 GMT
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