ove following a pattern into his office and waited till the door clicked shut before he felt for the pills. The water decanter clattered against the table; the glass clacked. He sat down in a big chair waiting for the benzedrine to take effect before he went to dinner. Episode 12 As Stahr walked back from the commissary a hand waved at him from an open roadster. From the heads showing over the back he recognized a young actor and his girl, and watched them disappear through the gate already part of the summer twilight. Little by little he was losing the feel of such things, until it seemed that Minna had taken their poignancy with her; his apprehension of splendor was fading so that presently the luxury of eternal mourning would depart. A childish association of Minna with the material heavens made him, when he reached his office, order out his roadster for the first time this year. The big limousine seemed heavy with remembered conferences or exhausted sleep. Leaving the studio he was still tense but the open car pulled the summer evening up close and he looked at it. There was a moon down at the end of the boulevard and it was a good illusion that it was a different moon every evening, every year. Other lights shone in Hollywood since Minna's death: in the open markets lemons and grapefruit and green apples slanted a misty glare into the street. Ahead of him the stop-signal of a car winked violet and at another crossing he watched it wink again. Everywhere floodlights raked the sky. On an empty corner two mysterious men moved a gleaming drum in pointless arcs over the heavens. In the drug store a woman stood by the candy counter. She was tall, almost as tall as Stahr, and embarrassed. Obviously it was a situation for her and if Stahr had not looked as he did-most considerate and polite-she would not have gone through with it. They said hello and walked out without another word, scarcely a glance- yet before they reached the curb Stahr knew: this was just exactly a pretty American woman and nothing more-no beauty like Minna. "Where are we going?" she asked. "I thought there'd be a chauffeur. Never mind-I'm a good boxer." "Boxer?" "That didn't sound very polite." She forced a smile. "But you people are supposed to be such horrors." The conception of himself as sinister amused Stahr-then suddenly it failed to amuse him. "Why did you want to see me?" she asked as she got in. He stood motionless, wanting to tell her get out immediately. But she had relaxed in the car and he knew the unfortunate situation was of his own making-he shut his teeth and walked around to get in. The street lamp fell full upon her face and it was difficult to believe that this was the girl of last night. He saw no resemblance to Minna at all. "I'll run you home," he said. "Where do you live?" "Run me home?" She was startled. "There's no hurry-I'm sorry if I offended you." "No. It was nice of you to come. I've been stupid. Last night I had an idea that you were an exact double for someone I knew. It was dark and the light was in my eyes." She was offended-he had reproached her for not looking like someone else. "It was just that!" she said. "That's funny." They rode in silence for a minute. "You were married to Minna Davis, weren't you?" she said with a flash of intuition. "Excuse me for referring to it." He was driving as fast as he could without making it conspicuous. "I'm quite a different type from Minna Davis," she said, "-if that's who you meant. You might have referred to the girl who was with me. She looks more like Minna Davis than I do." That was of no interest now. The thing was to get this over quick and forget it. "Could it have been her?" she asked. "She lives next door." "Not possibly," he said. "I remember the silver belt you wore." "That was me all right." They were northwest of Sunset, climbing one of the canyons through the hills. Lighted bungalows rose along the winding road and the electric current that animated them sweated into the evening air as radio sound. "You see that last highest light-Kathleen lives there. I live just over the top of the hill." A moment later she said, "Stop here." "I thought you said over the top." "I want to stop at Kathleen's." "I'm afraid I'm-" "I want to get out here myself," she said impatiently. Stahr slid out after her. She started toward a new little house almost roofed over by a single willow tree, and automatically he followed her to the steps. She rang a bell and turned to say good night. "I'm sorry you were disappointed," she said. He was sorry for her now-sorry for them both. "It was my fault. Good night." A wedge of light came out the opening door and as a girl's voice inquired "Who is it?" Stahr looked up. There she was-face and form and smile against the light from inside. It was Minna's face-the skin with its peculiar radiance as if phosphorus had touched it, the mouth with its warm line that never counted costs-and over all the haunting jollity that had fascinated a generation. With a leap his heart went out of him as it had the night before, only this time it stayed out there with a vast beneficence. "Oh Edna you can't come in," the girl said. "I've been cleaning and the house is full of ammonia smell." Edna began to laugh, bold and loud. "I believe it was you he wanted to see, Kathleen," she said. Stahr's eyes and Kathleen's met and tangled. For an instant they made love as no one ever dares to do after. Their glance was closer than an embrace, more urgent than a call. "He telephoned me," said Edna. "It seems he thought-" Stahr interrupted, stepping forward into the light. "I was afraid we were rude at the studio, yesterday evening." But there were no words for what he really said. She listened closely without shame. Life flared high in them both-Edna seemed at a distance and in darkness. "You weren't rude," said Kathleen. A cool wind blew the brown curls around her forehead. "We had no business there." "I hope you'll both-," Stahr said, "-come and make a tour of the studio." "Who are you? Somebody important?" "He was Minna Davis' husband, he's a producer," said Edna as if it were a rare joke, "-and this isn't at all what he just told me. I think he has a crush on you." "Shut up, Edna," said Kathleen sharply. As if suddenly realizing her offensiveness Edna said "Phone me, will you?" and stalked away toward the road. But she earned their secret with her-she had seen a spark pass between them in the darkness. "I remember you," Kathleen said to Stahr. "You got us out of the flood." -Now what? The other woman was more missed in her absence. They were alone and on too slim a basis for what had passed already. They existed nowhere. His world seemed far away-she had no world at all except the idol's head, the half open door. "You're Irish," he said, trying to build one for her. She nodded. "I've lived in London a long time-I didn't think you could tell." The wild green eyes of a bus sped up the road in the darkness. They were silent until it went by. "Your friend Edna didn't like me," he said. "I think it was the word Producer." "She's just come out here too. She's a silly creature who means no harm. I shouldn't be afraid of you." She searched his face. She thought, like everyone, that he seemed tired-then she forgot it at the impression he gave of a brazier out of doors on a cool night. "I suppose the girls are all after you to put them on the screen." "They've given up," he said. This was an understatement-they were all there, he knew, just over his threshold, but they had been there so long that their clamoring voices were no more than the sound of the traffic in the street. But his position remained more than royal-a king could make only one queen-Stahr, at least so they supposed, could make many. "I'm thinking that it would turn you into a cynic," she said. "You didn't want to put me in the pictures." "No." "That's good. I'm no actress. Once in London a man came up to me in the Carlton and asked me to make a test but I thought awhile and finally I didn't go." They had been standing nearly motionless, as if in a moment he would leave and she would go in. Stahr laughed suddenly. "I feel as if I had my foot in the door-like a collector." She laughed too. "I'm sorry I can't ask you in. Shall I get my reefer and sit outside?" "No." He scarcely knew why he felt it was time to go. He might see her again-he might not. It was just as well this way. "You'll come to the studio?" he said. "I can't promise to go around with you, but if you come you must be sure to send word to my office." A frown, the shadow of a hair in breadth, appeared between her eyes. "I'm not sure," she said. "But I'm very much obliged." He knew that, for some reason, she would not come-in an instant she had slipped away from him. They both sensed that the moment was played out. He must go, even though he went nowhere and left with nothing. Practically, vulgarly, he did not have her telephone number-or even her name, but it seemed impossible to ask for them now. She walked with him to the car, her glowing beauty and her unexplored novelty pressing up against him, but there was a foot of moonlight between them when they came out of the shadow. "Is this all?" he said spontaneously. He saw regret in her face-but there was a flick of the lip also, a bending of the smile toward some indirection, a momentary dropping and lifting of a curtain over a forbidden passage. "I do hope we'll meet again," she said almost formally. "I'd be sorry if we didn't." They were distant for a moment. But as he turned his car in the next drive and came back with her still waiting, and waved and drove on he felt exalted and happy. He was glad that there was beauty in the world that would not be weighed in the scales of the casting department. But at home he felt a curious loneliness as his butler made him tea in the samovar. It was the old hurt come back, heavy and delightful. When he took up the first of two scripts that were his evening stint, that presently he would visualize line by line on the screen, he waited a moment, thinking of Minna. He explained to her that it was really nothing, that no one could ever be like she was, that he was sorry. That was substantially a day of Stahr's. I don't know about the illness, when it started, etc., because he was secretive but I know he fainted a couple of times that month because Father told me. Prince Agge is my authority for the luncheon in the commissary where he told them he was going to make a picture that would lose money- which was something considering the men he had to deal with and that he held a big block of stock and had a profit sharing contract. And Wylie White told me a lot which I believed because he felt Stahr intensely with a mixture of jealousy and admiration. As for me I was head over heels in love with him then and you can take what I say for what it's worth. Episode 13 Fresh as the morning I went up to see him a week later. Or so I thought; when Wylie called for me I had gotten into riding clothes to give the impression I'd been out in the dew since early morning. "I'm going to throw myself under the wheel of Stahr's car, this morning," I said. "How about this car," he suggested. "It's one of the best cars Mort Flieshacker ever sold second hand." "Not on your flowing veil," I answered like a book. "You have a wife in the East." "She's the past," he said. "You've got one great card, Celia-your valuation of yourself. Do you think anybody would look at you if you weren't Pat Brady's daughter?" We don't take abuse like our mothers would have. Nothing-no remark from a contemporary means much. They tell you to be smart they're marrying you for your money or you tell them. Everything's simpler. Or is it? as we used to say. But as I turned on the radio and the car raced up Laurel Canyon to "The Thundering Beat of My Heart," I didn't believe he was right. I had good features except my face was too round and a skin they seemed to love to touch and good legs and I didn't have to wear a brassiere. I haven't a sweet nature but who was Wylie to reproach me for that. "Don't you think I'm smart to go in the morning?" I asked. "Yeah. To the busiest man in California. He'll appreciate it. Why didn't you wake him up at four?" "That's just it. At night he's tired. He's been looking at people all day and some of them not bad. I come in in the morning and start a tram of thought." "I don't like it. It's brazen." "What have you got to offer? And don't be rough." "I love you," he said without much conviction. "I love you more than I love your money and that's plenty. Maybe your father would make me a supervisor." "I could marry the last man tapped for Bones this year and live in Southampton." I turned the dial and got either "Gone" or "Lost"-there were good songs that year. The music was getting better again. When I was young during the Depression it wasn't so hot and the best numbers were from the twenties like Benny Goodman playing "Blue Heaven" or Paul Whiteman with "When Day Is Done." There were only the bands to listen to. But now I liked almost everything except Father singing "Little Girl, You've Had a Busy Day" to try to create a sentimental father-and-daughter feeling. "Lost" and "Gone" were the wrong mood so I turned again and got "Lovely To Look At" which was my kind of poetry. I looked back as we crossed the crest of the foothills-with the air so clear you could see the leaves on Sunset Mountain two miles away. It's startling to you sometimes-just air, unobstructed, uncomplicated air. "Lovely to look at-de-lightful to know-w-w," I sang. "Are you going to sing for Stahr?" Wylie said. "If you do, get in a line about my being a good supervisor." "Oh, this'll be only Stahr and me," I said. "He's going to look at me and think 'I've never really seen her before.' " "We don't use that line this year," he said. "-Then he'll say 'Little Celia' like he did the night of the earthquake. He'll say he never noticed I have become a woman." "You won't have to do a thing." "I'll stand there and bloom. After he kisses me as you would a child-" "That's all in my script," complained Wylie. "And I've got to show it to him tomorrow." "-he'll sit down and put his face in his hands and say he never thought of me like that." "You mean you get in a little fast work during the kiss." "I bloom, I told you. How often do I have to tell you I bloom." "It's beginning to sound pretty randy to me," said Wylie. "How about laying off-I've got to work this morning." "Then he says it seems as if he was always meant to be this way." "Right in the industry. Producer's blood." He pretended to shiver. "I'd hate to have a transfusion of that." "Then he says-" "I know all his lines," said Wylie. "What I want to know is what you say." "Somebody comes in," I went on. "And you jump up quickly off the casting couch smoothing your skirts." "Do you want me to walk out and get home?" We were in Beverly Hills, getting very beautiful now with the tall Hawaiian pines. Hollywood is a perfectly zoned city so you know exactly what kind of people economically live in each section from executives and directors, through technicians in their bungalows right down to extras. This was the executive section and a very fancy lot of pastry. It wasn't as romantic as the dingiest village of Virginia or New Hampshire but it looked nice this morning. "They asked me how I knew," sang the radio, "-my true love was true." My heart was fire and smoke was in my eyes and everything but I figured my chance at about fifty-fifty. I would walk right up to him as if I was either going to walk through him or kiss him in the mouth-and stop a bare foot away and say Hello with disarming understatement. And I did-though of course it wasn't like I expected. Stahr's beautiful dark eyes looking back into mine, knowing I am dead sure everything I was thinking-and not a bit embarrassed. I stood there an hour, I think, without moving and all he did was twitch the side of his mouth and put his hands in his pockets. "Will you go with me to the ball tonight?" I asked. "What ball?" "The screen-writers' ball down at the Ambassador." "Oh yes." He considered. "I can't go with you. I might just come in late. We've got a sneak preview in Glendale." How different it all was than what you've planned. When he sat down I went over and put my head among his telephones like a sort of desk appendage and looked at him and his dark eyes looked back so kind and nothing. Men don't often know those times when a girl could be had for nothing. All I succeeded in putting into his head was: "Why don't you get married, Celia?" Maybe he'd bring up Robby again, try to make a match there. "What could I do to interest an interesting man?" I asked him. "Tell him you're in love with him." "Should I chase him?" "Yes," he said smiling. "I don't know. If it isn't there it isn't there." "I'd marry you," he said unexpectedly. "I'm lonesome as hell. But I'm too old and tired to undertake anything." I went around the desk and stood beside him. "Undertake me." He looked up in surprise, understanding for the first time that I was in deadly earnest. "Oh no," he said. He looked almost miserable for a minute. "Pictures are my girl. I haven't got much time-" He corrected himself quickly, "I mean any time. It'd be like marrying a doctor." "You couldn't love me." "It's not that," he said and-right out of my dream but with a difference, "I never thought of you that way, Celia. I've known you so long. Somebody told me you were going to marry Wylie White." "And you had-no reaction." "Yes, I did. I was going to speak to you about it. Wait till he's been sober for two years." "I'm not even considering it, Monroe." We were way off the track, and just as in my day-dream somebody came in-only I was quite sure Stahr had pressed a concealed button. I'll always think of that moment, when I felt Miss Doolan behind me with her pad, as the end of childhood, the end of the time when you cut out pictures. What I was looking at wasn't Stahr but a picture of him I cut out over and over: the eyes that flashed a sophisticated understanding at you and then darted up too soon into his wide brow with its ten thousand plots and plans; the face that was ageing from within, so that there were no casual furrows of worry and vexation but a drawn asceticism as if from a silent self-set struggle-or a long illness. It was handsomer to me than all the rosy tan from Coronado to Del Monte. He was my picture, as sure as if he was pasted on the inside of my old locker in school. That's what I told Wylie White and when a girl tells the man she likes second best about the other one-then she's in love. 13 (continued) I noticed the girl long before Stahr arrived at the dance. Not a pretty girl, for there are none of those in Los Angeles-one girl can be pretty but a dozen are only a chorus. Nor yet a professional beauty-they do all the breathing for everyone and finally even the men have to go outside for air. Just a girl, with the skin of one of Raphael's corner angels and a style that made you look back twice to see if it were something she had on. I noticed her and forgot her. She was sitting back behind the pillars at a table whose ornament was a faded semi-star who, in hopes of being noticed and getting a bit, rose and danced regularly with some scarecrow males. It reminded me shamefully of my first party where Mother made me dance over and over with the same boy to keep in the spotlight. The semi-star spoke to several people at our table but we were busy being Cafe Society and she got nowhere at all. From our angle it appeared that they all wanted something. "You're expected to fling it around," said Wylie, "-like in the old days. When they find out you're hanging on to it they get discouraged. That's what all this brave gloom is about-the only way to keep their self respect is to be Hemingway characters. But underneath they hate you in a mournful way and you know it." He was right-I knew that since 1933 the rich could only be happy alone together. I saw Stahr come into the half-light at the top of the wide steps and stand there with his hands in his pockets looking around. It was late and the lights seemed to have burned a little lower, though they were the same. The floor show was finished except for a man who still wore a placard which said that at midnight in the Hollywood Bowl Sonja Henie was going to skate on hot soup. You could see the sign as he danced becoming less and less funny on his back. A few years before there would have been drunks around. The faded actress seemed to be looking for them hopefully over her partner's shoulder. I followed her with my eyes when she went back to her table -and there, to my surprise, was Stahr talking to the other girl. They were smiling at each other as if this was the beginning of the world. Stahr had expected nothing like this when he stood at the head of the steps a few minutes earlier. The sneak preview had disappointe him and afterwards he had had a scene with Jaques La Borwits right in front of the theatre for which he was now sorry. He had started toward the Brady party when he saw Kathleen sitting in the middle of a long white table alone. Immediately things changed. As he walked toward her the people shrank back against the walls till they were only murals; the white table lengthened and became an altar where the priestess sat alone. Vitality welled up in him and he could have stood a long time across the table from her, looking and smiling. The incumbents of the table were crawling back-Stahr and Kathleen danced. When she came close his several visions of her blurred; she was momentarily unreal. Usually a girl's skull made her real but not this time-Stahr continued to be dazzled as they danced out along the floor-to the last edge, where they stepped through a mirror into another dance with new dancers whose faces were familiar but nothing more. In this new region he talked, fast and urgently. "What's your name?" "Kathleen Moore." "Kathleen Moore," he repeated. "I have no telephone, if that's what you're thinking." "When will you come to the studio?" "It's not possible. Truly." "Why isn't it? Are you married?" "No." "You're not married?" "No, nor never have been. But then I may be." "Someone there at the table." "No." She laughed. "What curiosity!" But she was deep in it with him, no matter what the words were. Her eyes invited him to a romantic communion of unbelievable intensity. As if she realized this she said, frightened: "I must go back now. I promised this dance." "I don't want to lose you. Couldn't we have lunch or dinner?" "It's impossible." But her expression helplessly amended the words to "It's just possible. The door is still open by a chink if you could squeeze past. But quickly-so little time." "I must go back," she repeated aloud. Then she dropped her arms, stopped dancing and looked at him, a laughing wanton. "When I'm with you I don't breathe quite right," she said. She turned, picked up her long dress, and stepped back through the mirror. Stahr followed until she stopped near her table. "Thank you for the dance," she said. "And now really, good night." Then she nearly ran. Stahr went to the table where he was expected and sat down with the Cafe Society group-from Wall Street, Grand Street, Loudoun County Virginia, and Odessa Russia. They were all talking with enthusiasm about a horse that had run very fast and Mr. Marcus was the most enthusiastic of all. Stahr guessed that Jews had taken over the worship of horses as a super-symbol-for years it had been the Cossacks mounted and the Jews on foot. Now the Jews had horses and it gave them a sense of extraordinary well-being and power. Stahr sat pretending to listen and even nodding when something was referred to him, but all the time watching the table behind the pillars. If everything had not happened as it had, even to his connecting the silver belt with the wrong girl, he might have thought it was some elaborate frame-up. But the elusiveness was beyond suspicion. For there in a moment he saw that she was escaping again-the pantomime at the table indicated good bye. She was leaving, she was gone. "There-" said Wylie White with malice, "-goes Cinderella. Simply bring the slipper to the Regal Shoe Co., 812 South Broadway. " Stahr overtook her in the long upper lobby where middle-aged women sat behind a roped-off space, watching the ballroom entrance. "Am I responsible for this?" he asked. "I was going anyhow." But she added almost resentfully, "They talked as if I'd been dancing with the Prince of Wales. They all stared at me. One of the men wanted to draw my picture and another one wanted to see me tomorrow. " "That's just what I want," said Stahr gently. "But I want to see you much more than he does." "You insist so," she said wearily. "One reason I left England was that men always wanted their own way. I thought it was different here. Isn't it enough that I don't want to see you?" "Ordinarily," agreed Stahr. "Please believe me, I'm way out of my depth already. I feel like a fool. But I must see you again and talk to you." She hesitated. "There's no reason for feeling like a fool," she said. "You're too good a man to feel like a fool. But you should see this for what it is." "What is it?" "You've fallen for me-completely. You've got me in your dreams." "I'd forgotten you," he declared, "-till the moment I walked in that door." "Forgotten me with your head perhaps. But I knew the first time I saw you that you were the kind that likes me-" She stopped herself. Near them a man and woman from the party were saying good bye: "Tell her hello-tell her I love her dearly," said the woman, "you both-all of you-the children." Stahr could not talk like that, the way everyone talked now. He could think of nothing further to say as they walked toward the elevator except: "I suppose you're perfectly right." "Oh, you admit it?" "No, I don't," he retracted. "It's just the whole way you're made. What you say-how you walk-the way you look right this minute-" He saw she had melted a little and his hopes rose. "Tomorrow is Sunday and usually I work on Sunday but if there's anything you're curious about in Hollywood, any person you want to meet or see, please let me arrange it." They were standing by the elevator. It opened but she let it go. "You're very modest," she said. "You always talk about showing me the studio and taking me around. Don't you ever stay alone?" "Tomorrow I'll feel very much alone." "Oh, the poor man-I could weep for him. He could have all the stars jumping around him and he chooses me." He smiled-he had laid himself open to that one. The elevator came again. She signalled for it to wait. "I'm a weak woman," she said. "If I meet you tomorrow will you leave me in peace? No, you won't. You'll make it worse. It wouldn't do any good but harm so I'll say no and thank you." She got into the elevator. Stahr got in too and they smiled as they dropped two floors to the hall cross-sectioned with small shops. Down at the end, held back by police was the crowd, their heads and shoulders leaning forward to look down the alley. Kathleen shivered. "They looked so strange when I came in," she said, "-as if they were furious at me for not being someone famous." "I know another way out," said Stahr. They went through a drug store, down an alley and came out into the clear cool California night beside the car park. He felt detached from the dance now and she did too. "A lot of picture people used to live down here," he said. "John Barrymore and Pola Negri in those bungalows. And Connie Talmadge lived in that tall thin apartment house over the way." "Doesn't anybody live here now?" "The studios moved out into the country," he said. "What used to be the country. I had some good times around here though." He did not mention that ten years ago Minna and her mother had lived in another apartment over the way. "How old are you?" she asked suddenly. "I've lost track-almost thirty-five I think." "They said at the table you were the boy wonder." "I'll be that when I'm sixty," he said grimly. "You will meet me tomorrow, won't you?" "I'll meet you," she said. "Where?" Suddenly there was no place to meet. She would not go to a party at anyone's house, nor to the country, nor swimming though she hesitated, nor to a well-known restaurant. She seemed hard to please but he knew there was some reason. He would find out in time. It occurred to him that she might be the sister or daughter of someone well-known, who was pledged to keep in the background. He suggested that he come for her and they could decide. "That wouldn't do," she said. "What about right here-the same spot." He nodded-pointing up at the arch under which they stood. He put her into her car which would have brought eighty dollars from any kindly dealer, and watched it rasp away. Down by the entrance a cheer went up as a favorite emerged, and Stahr wondered whether to show himself and say good night. This is Cecelia taking up the narrative in person. Stahr came back finally-it was about half past three-and asked me to dance. "How are you?" he asked me, just as if he hadn't seen me that morning. "I got involved in a long conversation with a man." It was secret too-he cared that much about it. "I took him to ride," he went on innocently. "I didn't realize how much this part of Hollywood had changed." "Has it changed?" "Oh yes," he said. "Changed completely. Unrecognizable. I couldn't tell you exactly but it's all changed-everything. It's like a new city." After a moment he amplified, "I had no idea how much it had changed." "Who was the man?" I ventured. "An old friend," he said vaguely. "Someone I knew a long time ago." I had made Wylie try to find out quietly who she was. He had gone over and the ex-star had asked him excitedly to sit down. No-she didn't know who the girl was-a friend of a friend of someone-even the man who had brought her didn't know. So Stahr and I danced to the beautiful music of Glenn Miller playing "I'm on a See-saw." It was good dancing now with plenty of room. But it was lonely-lonelier than before the girl had gone. For me, as well as for Stahr, she took the evening with her, took along the stabbing pain I had felt-left the great ball-room empty and without emotion. Now it was nothing and I was dancing with an absent minded man who told me how much Los Angeles had changed. Section 14 They met, next afternoon, as strangers in an unfamiliar country. Last night was gone, the girl he had danced with was gone. A misty rose-and-blue hat with a trifling veil came along the terrace to him and paused, searching his face. Stahr was strange too in a brown suit and black tie that blocked him out more tangibly than a formal dinner coat, or when he was simply a face and voice in the darkness when they first met. He was the first to be sure it was the same person as before-the upper half of the face that was Minna's, luminous, with creamy temples and opalescent brow-the coco-colored curly hair. He could have put his arm around her and pulled her close with an almost family familiarity-already he knew the down on her neck, the very set of her backbone, the corners of her eyes and how she breathed-the very texture of the clothes that she would wear. "Did you wait here all night?" she said, in a voice that was like a whisper. "I didn't move-didn't stir." Still a problem remained, the same one-there was no special place to go. "I'd like tea," she suggested, "-if it's some place you're not known." "That sounds as if one of us had a bad reputation." "Doesn't it?" she laughed. "We'll go to the shore," Stahr suggested. "There's a place there where I got out once and was chased by a trained seal." "Do you think the seal could make tea?" "Well-he's trained. And I don't think he'll talk-I don't think his training got that far. What in hell are you trying to hide?" After a moment she said lightly, "Perhaps the future," in a way that might mean anything or nothing at all. As they drove away she pointed at her jalopy in the parking lot. "Do you think it's safe?" "I doubt it. I noticed some black-bearded foreigners snooping around." Kathleen looked at him alarmed. "Really?" She saw he was smiling. "I believe everything you say," she said. "You've got such a gentle way about you that I don't see why they're all so afraid of you." She examined him with approval-fretting a little about his pallor, which was accentuated by the bright afternoon. "Do you work very hard? Do you really always work on Sundays?" He responded to her interest-impersonal yet not perfunctory. "Not always. Once we had-we had a house with a pool and all-and people came on Sunday. I played tennis and swam. I don't swim any more." "Why not? It's good for you. I thought all Americans swam." "My legs got very thin-a few years ago and it embarrassed me. There were other things I used to do-lots of things. I used to play handball when I was a kid, and sometimes out here-I had a court that was washed away in a storm." "You have a good build," she said in formal compliment, meaning only that he was made with thin grace. He rejected this with a shake of his head. "I enjoy working most," he said. "My work is very congenial." "Did you always want to be in movies?" "No. When I was young I wanted to be a chief clerk-the one who knew where everything was." She smiled. "That's odd. And now you're much more than that." "No, I'm still a chief clerk," Stahr said. "That's my gift, if I have one. Only when I got to be it I found out that no one knew where anything was. And I found out that you had to know why it was where it was, and whether it should be left there. They began throwing it all at me and it was a very complex office. Pretty soon I had all the keys. And they wouldn't have remembered what locks they fitted if I gave them back." They stopped for a red light and a newsboy bleated at them: " Mickey Mouse Murdered! Randolph Hearst declares war on China!" "We'll have to buy his paper," she said. As they drove on she straightened her hat and preened herself. Seeing him looking at her she smiled. She was alert and calm-qualities that were currently at a premium. There was lassitude in plenty-California was filling up with weary desperadoes. And there were tense young men and women who lived back East in spirit while they carried on a losing battle against the climate. But it was everyone's secret that sustained effort was difficult here-a secret that Stahr scarcely admitted to himself. But he knew that people from other places spurted a pure rill of new energy for a while. They were very friendly now. She had not made a move or a gesture that was out of keeping with her beauty, that pressed it out of its contour one way or another. It was all proper to itself. He judged her as he would a shot in a picture. She was not trash, she was not confused but clear-in his special meaning of the word which implied balance, delicacy and proportion, she was "nice." They reached Santa Monica where there were the stately houses of a dozen picture stars, penned in the middle of a crawling Coney Island. They turned down hill into the wide blue sky and sea and went on along the sea till the beach slid out again from under the bathers in a widening and narrowing yellow strand. "I'm building a house out here," Stahr said. "Much further on. I don't know why I'm building it. " "Perhaps it's for me," she said. "Maybe it is." "I think it's splendid for you to build a big house for me without even knowing what I looked like." "It isn't so big. And it hasn't any roof. I didn't know what kind of roof you wanted." "We don't want a roof. They told me it never rained here. It-" She stopped so suddenly that he knew she was reminded of something. "Just something that's past," she said. "What was it?" he demanded. "Another house without a roof?" "Yes. Another house without a roof." "Were you happy there?" "I lived with a man," she said. "A long, long time-too long. It was one of those awful mistakes people make. I lived with him a long time after I wanted to get out but he couldn't let me go. He'd try but he couldn't. So finally I ran away." He was listening, weighing but not judging. Nothing changed under the rose-and-blue hat. She was twenty-five or so. It would have been a waste if she had not loved and been loved. "We were too close," she said. "We should probably have had children-to stand between us. But you can't have children when there's no roof to the house." All right, he knew something of her. It would not be like last night when something kept saying, as in a story conference: "We know nothing about the girl. We don't have to know much-but we have to know something." A vague background spread behind her, something more tangible than the head of Siva in the moonlight. They came to the restaurant, forbidding with many Sunday automobiles. When they got out the trained seal growled reminiscently at Stahr. The man who owned it said that the seal would never ride in the back seat of his car but always climbed over the back and up in front. It was plain that the man was in bondage to the seal, though he had not yet acknowledged it to himself. "I'd like to see the house you're building," said Kathleen. "I don't want tea-tea is the past." Kathleen drank a Coke instead and they drove on ten miles into a sun so bright that he took out two pairs of cheaters from a compartment. Five miles further on they turned down a small promontory and came to the fuselage of Stahr's house. A headwind blowing out of the sun threw spray up the rocks and over the car. Concrete mixers, raw yellow wood and builders' rubble waited, an open wound in the sea-scape, for Sunday to be over. They walked around front where great boulders rose to what would be the terrace. She looked at the feeble hills behind and winced faintly at the barren glitter, and Stahr saw "No use looking for what's not here," he said cheerfully. "Think of it as if you were standing on one of those globes with a map on it-I always wanted one when I was a boy." "I understand," she said after a minute. "When you do that you can feel the earth turn, can't you." He nodded. "Yes. Otherwise it's all just manana-waiting for the morning or the moon. " They went in under the scaffolding. One roo