ER One-twenty-forth of a second. That's how long the penis flashes up there. Towering, slippery, red and terrible, and no one knows they've seen it. Jack and Tyler watch the audience of PARENTS and CHILDREN as an ANIMAL adventure MOVIE plays. Suddenly, children start becoming uncomfortable and squirming. Some start CRYING. Some THROW UP. JACK Tyler also worked as a ... INT. LARGE BANQUET HALL - NIGHT Tyler moves the cart around one of many tables, ladling out soup. Jack stands in the same position. FACING CAMERA. JACK ... banquet waiter at the luxurious Pressman Hotel. The GUESTS are dressed in resplendent clothes, reeking of wealth and privilege. They command the WAITERS with snaps of the finger. Complaints pop like gunshots. The stiff-necked CATERING MANAGER contemptuously hawk-eyes the waiters. It's hellish. INT. SERVICE ELEVATOR - NIGHT Jack turns and WE PAN to Tyler, standing by a CART with a giant SOUP TUREEN and bowls. His hands are at his open fly and he's in position to piss into the soup. TYLER Don't watch. I can't if you watch me. CAMERA PANS to original position as Jack continues TO CAMERA. JACK He was a guerrilla terrorist of the food service industry. TYLER (O.S.) Shit. I can't go. PG 37 After a beat, the sound of WATER SPLASHING the floor. Jack peeks and sees Tyler pouring out a water glass with one hand, the other hand at his crotch. TYLER ... Oh, yeah. *Oh*, yeah. Jack turns back TO CAMERA. JACK He farted on creme brulee; he sneezed on braised endive; and, with creme of mushroom soup, he ... he ... TYLER (O.S.) Go ahead. Say it. JACK Well, you get the idea. EXT. PARKING LOT OF TAVERN - RESUMING Tyler and Jack come out of the bar; Jack shakes his head. JACK What? TYLER Hit me as hard as you can. Tyler leads Jack into an open area, lit by a streetlamp. JACK I don't know about this, Tyler. TYLER I don't know either. I want to find out. We're virgins. Neither one of us has ever been hit. JACK You've never been in a fight? TYLER I didn't say that. I said I've never been hit. JACK That's good, isnt' it? TYLER Listen to me -- hit me. You're the only one I ever asked. PG 38 JACK Me? Jack stares at him. The five drunken GUYS -- the same ones who stared at them earlier -- have formed a distant perimeter, sensing a fight. Jack glances at them, then back at Tyler. JACK I've ... never hit anyone in my life. TYLER Go crazy. Let it rip. JACK Where do you want it? In the face or the stomach? TYLER Surprise me. Jack swings a wide, clumsy roundhouse that connects with Tyler's neck. It makes a dull, soft flat sound. Tyler's neck turns red. JACK Shit. Sorry. That didn't count. Let me try again. TYLER Like hell. That counted. Tyler shoots out a straight punch to Jack's chest. The impact makes a dull, barely-audible sound and Jack falls back against a car. The Guys whoop and clap, moving closer. Jack's eyes involuntarily well up with tears. He and Tyler breathe HEAVILY and sprout BEADS of SWEAT on their faces. TYLER How do you feel? JACK Strange. TYLER But a *good* strange. JACK Is it? TYLER We've crossed the threshold. PG 39 JACK ... I guess so. TYLER You want to call it off? JACK Call what off? TYLER The fight. JACK *What* fight? TYLER I'm tired of watching only professionals. I don't want to die without any scars. How much can you really know about yourself if you never go at it, one-on-one? JACK Tyler ... TYLER Are you a pussy? Jack swings another roundhouse that slams right under Tyler's ear. The sound, soft and flat. Tyler punches Jack in the stomach. The Guys move closer, cheering the fight. Tyler and Jack move clumsily, throwing punches. They breathe heavier, their eyes red and bright. They drool saliva and blood. They each hurt badly and become dizzier from every impact. JACK (V.O.) If you've never been in a fight, you wonder about getting hurt, about what you're capable of doing against another man. Tyler and Jack keep fighting. The guys mix laughter with their cheers, looking at each other in wondrous amusement. EXT. CURBSIDE - LATER Jack and Tyler sit on the curb, staring at the sparse headlights on the nearby freeway. Their eyes are glazed with endorphin-induced serenity. They look at each other. Laugh. Look away. TYLER What were you fighting? PG 40 JACK My job. My boss, who fiddles with my DOS execute commands. Marla, at my support groups. Everything that's broken and doesn't work in my life. What were you fighting? TYLER My father. A pause as Jack studies Tyler's face. JACK We should do this again sometime. Tyler cracks a smile, gives a sidelong glance to Jack, then returns his stare to the night sky. EXT. PAPER STREET - NIGHT A street sign: "PAPER STREET". An abandoned PAPER MILL sits on one side and only ONE HOUSE on the other, the rest of the land being undeveloped grass and weeds. It's an old, grand, three-story gone to seed. It looks abandoned, too. INT. PAPER ST. HOUSE - LIVING ROOM -SAME Tyler leads Jack up a staircase to a 2ND FLOOR LANDING, then opens the door to a room. INT. ROOM - CONTINUOUS Jack steps into the room, sits down on the old bed. It CREAKS. Dust drifts upward. JACK (V.O.) I don't know how Tyler found the house. He'd been there for half a year. It was waiting for re-zoning or something. CUT TO: EXT. LOU'S TAVERN PARKING LOT - NIGHT LONG SHOT - ZOOMING OUT - A group of SIX GUYS watching TWO GUYS in a fist fight. CUT TO: INT. PAPER ST. HOUSE - KITCHEN - MORNING Jack, his face showing new bruises and cuts, his knuckles puffy, shoos away cockroaches as he makes coffee with a wire-mesh strainer. He has a happy little smile. PG 41 JACK (V.O.) Nothing worked. The rusty plumbing leaked. Turning on a light meant that another light in the house went out. The stairs were ready to collapse. CUT TO: EXT. CONVENIENCE STORE PARKING LOT - NIGHT LONG SHOT - ZOOMING OUT - Resuming from previous shot, getting further away, but now with TEN GUYS around two guys fighting. CUT TO: INT. SHOWER - MORNING Jack, showing some new bruises, with even fatter knuckles, turns on the water. LOUD VIBRATION from the walls. Water spits in starts, then dribbles out. CUT TO: INT. KITCHEN - MORNING Tyler, in a nice suit, checks over the bars of soap in his briefcase, then shuts it. Jack walks in, dressed in his work clothes. He picks up a battered old saucepan with boiling coal-black coffee and sips. He offers it to Tyler, who sips. Jack pulls a TOOTH out of his mouth and throws it into the sink. They both walk out the door. EXT. CINEMA PARKING LOT - NIGHT LONG SHOT - ZOOMING OUT - Resuming from previous shot, getting further away, but now with FOURTEEN GUYS around a fight. CUT TO: EXT. PORCH - NIGHT Tyler, in his waiter uniform, sits next to Jack on the lip of the porch. They both have newer, different bruises and cuts, sit and guzzle beer. THUNDERCLAPS. RAIN begins to fall. Tyler gets to his feet. INT. BASEMENT - SAME Tyler and Jack are knee-deep in water, standing by a FUSEBOX. Tyler opens it. He grabs two breaker switches, waits for Jack. Jack grabs two other switches, apparently, they have to do this in a certain order. Tyler flips his switches, then Jack flips his. CUT TO: EXT. CONSTRUCTION AREA - NIGHT LONG SHOT - ZOOMING OUT - Resuming from previous shot, getting further away, but now with EIGHTEEN GUYS around a fight. CUT TO: PG 42 INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Rain DRIPS from the ceiling -- some of it from LIGHT FIXTURES. Tyler and Jack enter with LIT CANDLES. They sit down on the decrepit, buckled wood floor. There's not one item of furniture in the room. There are, however, THOUSANDS of MAGAZINES. JACK (V.O.) The previous occupant collected magazines. They each pick up an opened magazine and resume reading, adjusting close to the candles. Tyler lies down next to him, setting his candle next to Jack's. Tyler picks up a magazine. TYLER What are your reading? JACK "I Am Joe's Lungs". It's written in first person. "Without me, Joe could not take in oxygen to feed his red blood cells". TYLER Sounds fascinating. JACK It's a whole series -- "I Am Joe's Prostate". TYLER "I get cancer, and I kill Joe". JACK What are you reading? TYLER Soldier of Fortune, National Geographic. New Republic. Forbes. JACK Show-off. JACK (V.O.) Every Wednesday night, after fighting like wild animals, we were too wired to go to sleep. PG 43 INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY In near DARKNESS as a SLIDE SHOW progresses, run by a chipper salesman, WALTER. Jack sits, deadpan, with a PUFFY LIP and a BRUISE on his cheek. JACK (V.O.) Thursday morning, my Boss didn't know what to think. Boss blocks him from the rest of the room, gives him a dubious look, turns back to Walter. JACK (V.O.) And all I could do was think about next week. Walter advances to the next slide, showing a view of a COMPUTER SCREEN. WALTER The basic premise of microsofting your office is -- make things more efficient. As Walter continues, his sales pitched gets drowned out by Jack's narration: JACK (V.O.) Walter, the Microsoft account exec, smiled at me with his steam shovel jaw. Walter, with his smooth, soft hands. Here he was, doing his cute little show. Maybe thinking about a free-range potluck he'd been to last weekend, but probably not. Walter moves to Jack and slaps his shoulder. WALTER I showed this already to my man here. You liked it, didn't you? Slowly, Jack smiles. His teeth are RED with BLOOD. They GLOW eerily in the dim light. JACK (V.O.) You can swallow a pint of blood before you get sick. WALTER Jeez, I'd hate to see what happened to the other guy. Jack keeps the smile frozen on his face. PG 44 JACK (V.O.) Fuck Walter. His candy ass wouldn't last a second in fight club. EXT. LOU'S TAVERN - NIGHT Out of silent darkness, HEADLIGHTS appear from all directions. A synchronous WAVE of cars PULLS UP and parks in the already-filled lot. Young men get out of the arriving cars and wander into the tavern. We recognize, among them, the GUYS who watched Tyler and Jack's *first fight*. INT. LOU'S TAVERN - SAME The men enter; the bartender, IRVINE, calls out: IRVINE Drink up people. We're closing. Let's go. The crowd consists of men and women YUPPIES: blue collar REGULARS dressed in work clothes or like cowboys; floozy barfly WOMEN. MUSIC plays from the jukebox. The arriving men simply wait. And wait. Tyler and Jack enter. They, too, stand back against he wall. The waiting army begins to share secret looks and grins. A certain level of eagerness can be seen among them. Irvine looks at Jack and grins. He flips on LIGHTS. The drunken customers squint and get the message. They gulp down their drinks, plop down money and filter out the door. Irvine hits a button and the jukebox loses power -- the record simply turns slower until it stops revolving. Finally, the last of the irritated customers leaves. One guy locks the door. Two other guys pull down blinds. Someone else moves over to the BASEMENT DOOR and opens it. INT. BASEMENT STEPS - MOMENTS LATER The grinning men march down steps; CHATTER begins. TALL GUY I brought my roommate tonight. Phil. FAT GUY Oh, yeah? Hi, Phil. TALL GUY He kept seeing what I looked like. Had to check it out. PG 45 INT. TAVERN BASEMENT - SAME A BOMB-SHELTER -- concrete floor, concrete walls. One BARE LIGHT BULB hangs by a wire from the ceiling. Tyler nods to Jack and Jack turns on the light. The guys mill around, finding partners. The whole mood is very friendly. Everyone brims with eagerness, but tries to act cool about it. CHATTER gets LOUDER. FAT GUY A mean uppercut. WIRY GUY I gotta work on my left. SHORT GUY *He's* got a left. FAT GUY Hey, you're wiping the floor with dudes who are way out of your weight class. TALL GUY (slapping Wiry Guy's shoulder) Skinny guys. They fight till they're burger. PEAKING CHATTER, then -- Tyler moves into position directly under the light bulb. His face is partially in shadow. Everyone spreads out, forming a circle, the light bulb for a center. Tyler's will WIPES through the room and the CHATTER DIES. A couple of COUGHS, FEET SHUFFLING. Then, SILENCE. TYLER The first rule of fight club is -- you don't talk about fight club. The second rule of fight club is -- you don't talk about fight club. Jack glances over at a short guy, RICKY, with a BLACK EYE. JACK (V.O.) This kid, Ricky -- supply clerk -- he can't remember whether you ordered pens with blue ink or black ink ... TYLER The third rule in fight club is -- when someone says "stop" or goes limp, the fight is over. The fourth rule is -- only two guys to a fight. PG 46 JACK (V.O.) But Ricky was a god for ten minutes when he trounced an actuary twice his size. TYLER Fifth rule -- one fight at a time. Sixth rule -- no shirts or shoes. Seventh rule -- fights go on as long as they have to. And the eighth rule of fight club is -- if this is your first night, you *have* to fight. Tyler steps back, and a FAT MAN and a GOATEED MAN take off their shirts and shoes and step into the center. They circle each other, then begin throwing punches. SWEAT flies into the moist air. SHOUTS become DEAFENING. JACK (V.O.) Sometimes you could hear flat, hard packing sounds over all the yelling as someone caught his breath and sprayed: GOATEED MAN Ssstop. INT. OFFICE PARK RESTAURANT - DAY Jack, eating lunch, is served a refill soda by the BROKEN-NOSED WAITER with a GOATEE, the man from the above fight. JACK (V.O.) Even if I could tell someone they had a good fight, I wouldn't be talking to the same man. Who you were in fight club is not who you were in the rest of your world. You weren't alive anywhere like you were alive at fight club. But fight club only exists in the hours between when fight club starts and when fight club ends. INT. JACK'S OFFICE - DAY Boss, passing by the doorway, looks in at Jack with irritated wonder. Jack, playing solitaire on his computer, daubs blood from his mouth with a handkerchief. BOSS What are you getting yourself into every week? PG 47 Jack flashes a smile at Boss. Boss shakes his head, walks away. JACK (V.O.) After a night in fight club, everything else in your life gets the volume turned down. You can deal with anything. All the people who used to have power over you have less and less. Reflexively, Jack's tongue plays with his teeth. JACK (V.O.) By this point, I could wiggle most of the teeth in my jaw. INT. BUS - DAY Jack stands, holding a hand grip. An arrogant MAN in a three-piece suit brushes past him, knockng his shoulder. JACK (V.O.) We all started to size people up. Jack violently knocks the Man's shoulder in return. The Man turns and he and Jack face each other for a brief moment. Jack's face is stone. JACK (V.O.) I'd look at some asshole and *know* I could beat him. The arrogant Man continues down the aisle. Jack notices a GUY with SMASHED LIP. The Guy grins, giving a slight nod. INT. PARKING GARAGE - DAY (FLASHBACK) Jack walks past the parking garage. He sees a VALET who has facial bruises. JACK (V.O.) We were all doing it. The Valet and Jack share a quick smile. A BMW pulls up and HONKS at the Bruised Valet. The bruised Valet has no reaction as a FAT EXEC gets out of his car and tosses the keys. Jack watches the Bruised Valet size up the Exec, then hop into the car and loudly PEEL OUT. PG 48 JACK (V.O.) I would see them all the time -- fight club members looking at other guys, knowing they could kick their asses. INT. TAVERN BASEMENT - NIGHT Jack lands a couple of jabs to HIS OPPONENT'S stomach, then brings up a left uppercut that smashes the Opponent's jaw. Tiny spatters of BLOOD adorn the walls, along with sweat. JACK (V.O.) Fight club was not about winning or losing. It wasn't about words. The Opponent recovers, throws a headlock on Jack. Jack snakes his arm into a counter headlock. They, wrestling like wild animals. The crowd CHEERS maniacally. JACK (V.O.) The hysterical shouting was in tongues, like at a Pentecostal church. The onlookers kneel to stay with the fight, cheering ever louder. The Opponent smashes Jack's head into the floor, over and over. JACK Stop. Everyone moves in as the Opponent steps away. They lift Jack to his feet. On the floor is a BLOOD MASK of Jack's face -- similar to his TEAR MASK on BOB'S SHIRT, seen earlier. Tyler pushes through the crowd. TYLER Cool. EXT. BAR - NIGHT Everyone files out of the bar, sweating, bleeding, smiling. JACK (V.O.) Afterwards, we all felt saved. PG 49 EXT. SIDEWALK - NIGHT Jack and Tyler walk through the pools of light cast by streetlamps. They both drip blood and sport bruises. They each carry a 4x4 piece of WOOD. As they pass parked cars, they SLAM the sticks against the front bumpers, setting off the ALARMS and causing the AIR BAGS to INFLATE. They come to a bus stop that has a large display ad for jeans. It has a photo of a shirtless man. TYLER Is that what a man looks like? JACK Isn't it? Tyler smears blood on the ad. They continue on their way. Tyler comes to a "ROAD WORK" sign. Tyler kicks it into a deep HOLE. He and Jack tightrope-walk on wooden beams over darkness. TYLER Guys packing into the gyms, all trying to look like what Calvin Klein says. Fight club isn't about looking good. As they step back onto solid pavement, Tyler kicks one of the beams, causing it to come loose and fall. The whole temporary work structure falls into the hole. Tyler and Jack continue walking. IN the background, a car SKIDS and FISHTAILS, avoiding the hole. Sound of a SIREN getting closer. Tyler hands Jack the 4x4 and runs, laughing. Jack stands there a moment, then throws the stick and runs after Tyler. JACK (V.O.) A guy comes to fight club for the first time, and his ass is a wad of cookie dough. After a few weeks, he looks carved out of wood. He trusts himself to handle anything. EXT. ANOTHER STREET - CONTINUOUS Jack and Tyler, panting, sweat mixing with blood, slow down and resume walking. Tyler pulls his fingers, popping them -- his knuckles are swollen. He grins at the pain. TYLER Self-improvement is masturbaation. Self-destruction is the answer. PG 50 INT. PAPER ST. HOUSE - KITCHEN - LATE AFTERNOON The PHONE RINGS. Jack enters from the living room, buttoning his shirt. He answers. JACK Hello? INTERCUT WITH INT. MARLA'S ROOM - SAME She lies on the bed, twisting the phone cord around her neck like a noose. MARLA Where have you been the last few weeks? JACK Marla? MARLA I haven't seen you at any support groups. JACK That's the idea -- we split them. MARLA You haven't been going to yours. JACK I found a new one. MARLA Really? Can I go to it? JACK It's for men. MARLA Like testicular cancer? JACK Like that. Look, this is a bad time. MARLA I started going to debtor's anonymous. You want to see *really* fucked up people? JACK Look, I'm going out ... PG 51 MARLA I'm going out of my mind. I got a stomach full of Xanax. I took what was left of the bottle. Might've been too much ... probably was. Jack turns TO CAMERA. JACK (V.O.) Picture yourself watching Marla throw herself around her crummy apartment, saying, "I'm dying. Dying. Dying. It could go on for hours. JACK You probably want to die in peace. I'll let you go. MARLA Stay on the line. I want you to hear me describe death. Jack puts the handset on top of the phone, still off the hook, and walks out of the kitchen. MARLA'S VOICE I want to see if my spirit can use the telephone. INT. BEDROOM - LATE NIGHT GRUNTS of PLEASURE and EXERTION. In dim light, we get glimpses of TORSOS, ASSES, LEGS, ARMS, BREASTS, and BLACK FEMALE HAIR -- all DRENECHED in SWEAT. Sheets RIP. CA-CHUNK! CA-CHUNK! Bodies hit the FLOOR and roll. More insane GRUNTING. And LAUGHING -- CACKLING. A flash of MARLA'S FACE. Then, groans of ecstasy approaching climax. CUT TO: INT. JACK'S BEDROOM - SUNRISE Jack sits up in bed, looks around the room. INT. 2ND FLOOR LANDING Jack steps out of his room, looks down to the next door -- the door is closed. JACK (V.O.) Tyler's door was closed. I'd been living here a month, and Tyler's door never closed. PG 52 INT. BATHROOM - SAME Jack stares into the toilet. CLOSE UP - SIX USED CONDOMS IN TOILET. INT. KITCHEN - MORNING Jack sits at the table, sipping coffee, reading Reader's Digest. He takes in a long yawn, rubs his eyes. He hears FOOTSTEPS approaching. JACK You're not going to believe the dream I had. Marla walks in, straightening her dress. She looks like she's been raped by a hurricane. Some of her hair is matted against her head, some of it is sticking out wildly. Jack gapes at her in shock. She cracks a coy smile and runs a finger across the back of his neck. MARLA I can hardly believe *anything* about last night. She pours herself a cup of coffee. She takes a big gulp, GARGLES and SPITS it out into the sink. She gives Jack a lascivious smile. Then, she sips from the cup. She strokes his hair. He pulls back from her. JACK What the fuck are you doing here?! Marla looks at him a beat, then throws the cup into the sink and it SHATTERS. MARLA Fuck you. She kicks open the door to the backyard and walks out. Jack watches her stomp across the lawn to the sidewalk and down the street. Jack turns and -- Tyler is at his shoulder, staring after Marla. He's in his usual sweatpants. He grins at Jack, then moves away, pours himself coffee. Jack, smoldering, slumps at the table and picks up Reader's Digest. Tyler puts his foot on a countertop and begins to do stretching exercises. TYLER That crazy bitch almost fucked me in half. Get this -- I come home and the phone is off the hook ... PG 53 MOVE IN ON JACK'S FACE as he pretends to read, but glances up at Tyler. TYLER'S VOICE FADES as: JACK (V.O.) I already knew the story before he told it to me. INT. KITCHEN - LATE AFTERNOON (FLASHBACK) Tyler enters through the back door and moves to the phone. MARLA'S VOICE (from handset) I'll tell you when I'm floating out of my body. Gently, Tyler lifts the handset and listens, smiling. JACK (V.O.) I don't know why, but Tyler actually thought it was a *bad* thing that Marla was about to die. INT. 8TH FLOOR LANDING - LATE AFTERNOON (FLASHBACK) Tyler reaches the top of the stairs and heads for Marla's room. Before he can knock, Marla's hand shoots out and grabs Tyler's arm. INT. MARLA'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS (FLASHBACK) Marla pulls Tyler inside and shuts the door. Her drugged eyes look him over. MARLA You got here fast. She staggers and sits on the bed. She slides off, along with the blanket and sheets, to the floor. MARLA The mattresses here are all sealed in slippery plastic. She tries to focus her eye on Tyler. MARLA Did I call you? SIRENS and vehicles SCREECHING to a halt outside. Doors opening and SLAMMING; running FOOTFALL. Marla scowls and RAMS Tyler with her knee, knocking him off her. PG54 MARLA You called the cops?! Shit! She gets to her feet, grabs Tyler, hauls him to his feet and pulls him out the door. INT. HALLWAY (FLASHBACK) Marla LOCKS her door, then shoves Tyler toward the staircase. She and Tyler suddenly flatten agains the wall as COPS and PARAMEDICS charge by with oxygen. COP Where's 8-G? MARLA End of the hall. The rescuers keep running. Marla and Tyler start down the steps. Marla lingers a beat, hearing the cops bang on the door. She calls out to them: MARLA The girl who lives there used to be a charming, lovely girl. But she has no faith in herself. Tyler yanks on Marla's arm. They continue down the steps, with Marla's speech getting louder. MARLA And she's worried that, as she grows older, she'll have less options. She's turned into a monster! She's infectious human waste! Good luck trying to save her! INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT (FLASHBACK) Tyler makes coffee. Marla slouches against the refrigerator. MARLA If I fall asleep, I die. You have to keep me up all night. Tyler smiles. JACK (V.O.) He was able to handle it. PG 55 INT. TYLER'S ROOM - DAWN (FLASHBACK) Marla and Tyler, in a wrecked bed. Tyler's eyes are closed. Marla kisses his ear. MARLA According to ancient Chinese custom, you're responsible for me forever, because you saved my life. INT. KITCHEN - MORNING - RESUMING Tyler gulps some coffee, shaking his head. TYLER ... And she's spouting this crap she got from watching too much television. JACK (V.O.) If only I hadn't gone to a movie. If only I went to her stupid room to watch her die. Tyler sits opposite him, studies his face. TYLER You aren't doing her, are you? JACK (V.O.) I Am Joe's Raging Bile Duct. JACK No. TYLER I didn't think so. JACK You didn't think so? TYLER She's not your type. JACK How would you know what my type is? TYLER She's just a wild, twisted bitch. JACK Oh, and my pace is more librarians and den mothers. TYLER Kinky. PG56 JACK (V.O.) How could someone like Tyler get involved with someone like Marla Singer? It was impossible. JACK Marla doesn't need a lover. She needs a case worker. TYLER This is sport-fucking. She's a hosebag. JACK (V.O.) She invaded my support groups, now she's invaded my home. My friendship. Like a cancer. TYLER You're okay, aren't you? JACK (V.O.) I Am Joe's Clenching Bowels. JACK Sure. JACK (V.O.) Put a gun to my head and paint the wall with my brains. JACK It's fine, great. TYLER Now, listen. You gotta understand something about me. I got a little rule. Don't ever talk to her about me. I can't stand that kind of shit. Tyler fixes Jack with a friendly, but firm stare. TYLER If you ever mention me to her -- or anyone else -- I'll find out about it. And you'll never see me again. JACK Okay. PG 57 TYLER You promise? JACK I promise. Tyler abruptly gets up and leaves the kitchen. Jack watches him go, smoldering. INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Jack sits watching television at HIGH VOLUME. Sounds of ROUGH SEX from upstairs. CUT TO: INT. JACK'S BEDROOM - NIGHT Jack lies calmly, in a Zen state, on his bed, staring at the ceilng. Sounds of THUMPS and CRASHES from beyond the wall, along with Tyler's and Marla's VOICES, SNARLING: MARLA'S VOICE You slimy discharge! JACK (V.O.) I could've moved to another room, one on the third floor -- so I wouldn't have heard them. But I didn't. INT. BATHROOM - NIGHT Jack brushes his teeth. JACK (V.O.) I wrote little haiku things: "Worker bees can leave Even drones can fly away The queen is their slave" I became the calm little center of the world. I was the Zen master. MOVE IN ON -- KEYHOLE - Jack's EYE MARLA (gasping in passion) I love you. I want to have your abortion. PG 58 INT. BASEMENT - NIGHT Sound of RAIN pelting the house. Jack flips the fuses off, walks up the stairs. JACK (V.O.) "A tiger can smile A snake will say it loves you Lies make us evil" INT. 2ND FLOOR LANDING - SAME Jack walks up the steps. He hears Marla SCREAM in orgasm. He reaches the landing. Tyler's door is slightly ajar. Jack can't help stopping. JACK'S POV - TYLER'S ROOM Marla's legs are sprawled on the bed. Her head is down over the far side, out of view. The door PUSHES OPEN WIDER -- Tyler, naked, stands CLOSE TO CAMERA. TYLER What are you doing? WIDE ON LANDING Jack steps back. JACK I ... uh ... just going to bed. Tyler grins and nods toward bed. TYLER You want to finish her off? JACK Uh ... nah ... Jack continues toward his room. INT. JACK'S OFFICE - DAY Jack's clothes are PERMANENTLY STAINED with BLOOD. He sits in his Zen pose, typing. We see his HAIKUS on the screen. JACK (V.O.) I faxed them around to everyone. He hits "SEND". Boss enters, reacts with exasperated irritaiton at the sight. PG 59 BOSS Is that your blood? JACK *Some* of it, yeah. Boss stares at Jack like he's from Mars. BOSS Take the rest of the day off. Come back tomorrow with clean clothes. And get yourself together. INT. HALLWAY - SAME Jack, looking like a war casualty, walks past COWORKERS who coldly stare at him. His face is totally passive. JACK (V.O.) I got right in everyone's hostile little face. Yes, these are bruises from fighting. See? It's nothing to me? See how cool I am about it? That's right, I'm enlightened! EXT. PAPER STREET - SUNSET Jack walks toward the house. JACK (V.O.) You give up the condo life, give up all your worldly possessions and go live in a dilapidated house in the toxic waste part of town. INT. TYLER'S KITCHEN - SUNSET Jack walks inside. Sound of VIOLENT SEX from upstairs -- THUDS and WHAMS. Pieces of PLASTER fall from the ceiling in tufts of dust. JACK (V.O.) ... And you come home to *this*. TYLER'S VOICE Take that, butt wipe!! Jack rolls his eyes, takes off his pants. He runs water in the sink. He takes a tiny bit of soap and begins to scrub the blood stains. PHONE RINGS. He answers. JACK Hello? Speaking. PG 60 INTERCUT WITH INT. POLICE STATION - OFFICE DETECTIVE STERN leans forward in his chair, consulting a file. DETECTIVE STERN This is Detective Stern with the arson unit. We have some new information about your condo. The deadbolt on your front door was shattered. Someone sprayed freon into the lock to freeze it. Then, they tapped it with a cold chisel to shatter the cylinder. JACK (V.O.) I Am Joe's Cold Sweat. And, in fact, cold sweat beads up on Jack's forehead. He scrubs his pants obsessively. DETECTIVE STERN The dynamite had a residue of ammonium oxalate and potassium perchloride -- this means we can assume it was homemade. JACK This is ... really a shock to me, Sir. DETECTIVE STERN Whoever set the dynamite could've turned on the gas and blown out the pilot lights on the stove days before the explosion took place. The gas was just the trigger. JACK Who do you think did it? DETECTIVE STERN I'm asking the questions, son. JACK I loved my life. I loved that condo. I loved every stick of furniture. That was my whole life. Everything -- the lamps, the chairs, the rugs -- *were* me. The dishes were me. The plants were me. The television was me. PG 61 JACK (V.O.) I'd like to thank the academy ... DETECTIVE STERN Do you know anyone who'd have the expertise and the motive to do something like this? Jack's eyes move upward, then back down. JACK Uh ... no. DETECTIVE STERN Well, think about it. If any ideas come to you, give me a call. And, in the meantime, don't leave town. END INTERCUT Jack hangs up the phone, turns to see Tyler standing right next to him. Tyler puts a hand on Jack's shoulder, squeezes it affectionately. Jack turns away and continues to scrub -- rebuffing Tyler. Tyler smiles compassionately at him. Marla's FOOTSTEPS can be heard coming down the stairs. JACK'S POV -- as he really grinds the soap against the pants, splashes water all over the place. JACK'S POV PIVOTS, WIDEN ON ROOM. Marla enters. Tyler is GONE. Jack looks around to the open back door, then back at Marla. She lights a cigarette. JACK (V.O.) Except for their humping, Tyler and Marla were never in the same room. The same disappearing act my parents pulled for years -- one came in, and the other was gone. Marla moves very close to Jack and props a leg up on a stack of magazines near him. She's not wearing underwear. Jack becomes very aware of his having no pants on, so he pushes up against the counter. Marla lasciviously pulls the hemline further up her leg. MARLA I got this dress at a thrift store for one dollar. JACK It was worth every penny. PG 62 MARLA It's a bridesmaid's dress. Someone loved it intensely for one day, then tossed it. Like a Christmas tree -- so special, then, bam, it's on the side of the road with tinsel still clinging to it. She leans in very close to his ear and whispers hoarsely: MARLA You can borrow it sometime. JACK That's hysterical. Marla blows smoke into Jack's face. He grabs her cigarette, throws it into the water in the sink. She smiles saucily and LEAVES the room. Sound of her FOOTSTEPS going upstairs. TYLER (O.S.) Get rid of her. Jack turns and sees Tyler in the back doorway. JACK *You* get rid of her. TYLER And don't mention my name. You promised. JACK Yes, yes, I promise. TYLER Promise? JACK I said I promise! TYLER That was three times you promised. Marla's FOOTSTEPS can be heard coming down the staircase. TYLER Tell her to go. Jack looks toward the archway, then back at -- ? Tyler is GONE. Marla glides into the kitchen with a PACK of cigarettes. She daintily takes one out and lights it. PG 63 JACK (V.O.) I'm six years old again, passing messages between my parents. JACK Uh ... I think you should go now. Marla begins to do a slow, exotic dance around the kitchen, sometimes moving very close to Jack, sometimes moving away. She lifts her dress dangerously high -- does she expose herself? -- hard to tell. She dances very close to Jack's body, almost touching it. JACK What are you trying to do?! Marla stops dancing, and BURSTS into loud LAUGHTER. MARLA You're such a nutcase, I can't even begin to keep up. She touches Jack's hair. He slaps her hand away. JACK Just get out of here. Marla's face turns sour. As she stomps out the back door -- MARLA I'm already so fucking gone that all you see is an after-image. Jack watches her through the kitchen window. TYLER (O.S.) Good job. As Jack turns, we WIDEN to include Tyler, standing right behind Jack, beaming. Through the window, in the background, Marla can be seen quickly moving away on the sidewalk. Tyler puts his hand on Jack's shoulder. TYLER Let's get out of this place for awhile, take a walk. EXT. STREET - NIGHT Tyler moves forward at a brisk pace. Jack keeps up with him. Tyler cuts across a paved road and into a WOODED AREA. Jack follows. PG 64 EXT. ALL-NIGHT CONVENIENCE STORE - MOMENTS LATER Tyler, with Jack following, emerges from the trees and heads into the parking lot. A Clerk ambles toward his car, taking off his uniform bow tie. Tyler suddenly pulls a HANDGUN out of his belt and rams it against the Clerk's head. EXT. WOODED AREA - CONTINUOUS Tyler marches the Clerk, the gun aimed at his head. Jack follows. JACK What are you doing?! TYLER Shut up. JACK Are you out of your fucking mind?! TYLER Shut up. Tyler stops the Clerk and pushes him down to a kneeling position. TYLER Give me your wallet. The Clerk fumbles his wallet out of his pocket and Tyler snatches it. Tyler pulls out the driver's license. TYLER Raymond K. Hessel. 1320 SE Benning, apartment A. A small, cramped basement apartment. RAYMOND How'd you know? TYLER They give basement apartments letters instead of numbers. Raymond, you're going to die. RAYMOND Please, God, no. JACK What are you doing?! PG 65 TYLER (to Jack) SHUT UP! You have no idea of what it is to hit bottom. I've been trying to get you there -- I blew up your condo. JACK ... The ... cops are onto you. TYLER No, they think *you* did it. Tyler continues, to Raymond: TYLER Your mom and dad will have to call old doctor so-and-so to get your dental records, because there won't be much of your face left. Raymond begins to weep, his shoulders heaving. Jack starts to gasp for air. Growing even paler, he slumps back against a tree. His mouth becomes dry. TYLER Is this a picture of Mom and Dad? RAYMOND Yesss ... JACK Look, if this is all about me ... TYLER You? Nothing is about you. JACK I'm doing okay, aren't I? TYLER You don't have your cute, little condo or your fey furniture, you're living in squalor ... Tyler continues, to Raymond: TYLER An expired community college student ID card. What did you used to study, Raymond K. Hessel? RAYMOND S-S-Stuff. PG 66 TYLER "Stuff". Were the mid-terms hard? Tyler shoves the gun against Raymond's temple. TYLER I asked you what you studied. RAYMOND Biology, mostly. TYLER Why? RAYMOND I don't know. TYLER What did you want to be Raymond K. Hessel? A long beat while Raymond weeps and says nothing. Tyler COCKS the gun. Jack JERKS back, wincing, sweating. JACK ... Tyler? TYLER I'm busy. Tyler continues, to Raymond: TYLER The question, Raymond, was "what did you want to be"? Tyler begins to squeeze the trigger. JACK (croaking with dry mouth) Answer him! RAYMOND A VETERINARIAN! TYLER Animals. RAYMOND Yeah ... animals and s-s-s -- TYLER -- *Stuff*. That means you have to get more schooling. PG 67 RAYMOND Too much school. TYLER Would you rather be dead? Tyler shoves Raymond's wallet back into his pocket. TYLER I'm keeping your license. I know where you live. I'm going to check on you. If you aren't back in school on your way to being a veterinarian, you will be dead. Now, get the hell out of here. Raymond staggers into the darkness. Tyler watches. Jack, still clinging to a branch with a deathgrip, looks at Tyler. Tyler slowly turns to face Jack. TYLER Raymond K. Hessel, tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of your life. Your breakfast is going to taste better than any meal you've ever eaten. Jack's eyes light up. He looks at the fleeing Raymond, then back at Tyler. He sighs, then shakes his head, then cracks his weird, little crooked smile. His eyes glow. He looks with almost religious reverence at Tyler. Tyler turns and smiles at Jack. TYLER To make soap, first you have to render fat. CLOSE UP - SIGN: "DANGER - BIOHAZARD" PULL BACK TO WIDE ON EXT. FENCED-IN BIOHAZARD WASTE DUMP SITE - NIGHT Tyler is on the ground, inside the fence. Jack's at the top of the fence, trying to get through the BARBED WIRE. He does so, but wobbles and gets his shirt snagged. Tyler tries to help him. Jack falls, ripping his shirt. Tyler breaks the fall, gets Jack to his feet. FOOTSTEPS. FLASHLIGHT BEAM. Tyler pulls Jack down behind a DUMPSTER -- one of DOZENS in the site. A silhouette of a SECURITY GUARD moves along the perimeter, waving the flashlight around. He finally walks back toward the adjacent building, goes inside. PG 68 MOVE BACK to Tyler and Jack, who emerge from hiding. Tyler eagerly grabs the lid of the closest dumpster. Jack gapes at the "biohazard" sign. TYLER The best fat for making soap -- because the salt balance is just right -- comes from human bodies. Tyler lifts the lid -- it CREAKS. Jack breathes heavily, afraid to look. Tyler pulls out an industrial-sized, think plastic bag full of PINK GOO. Jack reacts to the smell, turning away. His eyes focus on the side of the adjacent building and its SIGN: "BODY SCULPTING CLINIC". TYLER >From the asses and thighs of rich women, paydirt. INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT Jack watches at Tyler stirs a boiling pot. TYLER As the fat renders, the tallow floats to the surface of the water. EXT. WASTE DUMP SITE - NIGHT (RESUMING) Tyler and Jack climb back over the fence, each carrying several bags of fat. One of Jack's bags gets caught on the barbed wire and rips, spilling the goo all down the fence. Jack's pants and shoes get covered; he slips and slides. Tyler starts laughing. Jack starts laughing. INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT (RESUMING) Tyler shows Jack two pots which have a skinned-over layer. TYLER When the tallow separates, there will be a clear layer on top. It's glycerin. We can mix it back in when we make the soap. EXT. WASTE DUMP SITE - NIGHT (RESUMING) Tyler helps Jack over the fence. They both fall to the ground on the other side, laughing. They try to get up and they both slip in fat, falling on their asses. They laugh louder. FOOTSTEPS; FLASHLIGHT. PG 69 Still hysterically laughing, they both get up, slide and fall down again, get up yet again and stagger away, disappearing around a corner. INT. TAXICAB - MOMENTS LATER Jack and Tyler, slimed with fat, hold their bags, giggling. The CAB DRIVER gives them a deadpan look. END OVERLAPPING INTERCUT. CUT TO: INT. KITCHEN - LATE NIGHT Tyler and Jack have fat stains and rips on their clothes from the waste dump. The pots boil. Tyler stirs. He sticks a spoon into a pot and lifts up a scoop of the glycerin layer. Then, he grabs a can, opens, it. TYLER Lye -- the crucial ingredient for making soap. A paste of lye and water can burn through an aluminum pan. A solution of lye and water will dissolve a wooden spoon. Combined with water, lye heats to over two hundred degrees. Tyler licks his lips until they're gleaming wet. He takes Jack's hand and KISSES the back of it. The saliva shines in the shape of the kiss. Tyler poises the can of lye over Jack's hand. TYLER This is a chemical burn, and it will hurt more than you've ever been burned. Tyler pours a bit of the flaked lye onto Jack's hand. Jack's whole body JERKS. Tyler holds tight to Jack's hand. Tears well in Jack's eyes; his face tightens. TYLER Look at your hand. Jack looks -- the burn is swollen glossy in the shape of Tyler's kiss. Jack's face spasms, but