re,
I had  been led to believe  that the four  girls who lived in his house were
his sisters. Don Juan himself had told me so. I  had a sudden relapse of the
feeling of despair I had  experienced all afternoon. Dona Soledad was not to
be trusted; she was engineering  something. I was  sure that  don Juan could
not under any conditions have misled me so grossly.
     Dona Soledad examined me with overt curiosity.
     "The  wind just  told  me that you don't believe what I'm telling you,"
she said, and laughed.
     "The wind is right," I said dryly.

     "The  girls that you've seen over the years are the Nagual's. They were
his apprentices. Now  that the Nagual is gone they are the  Nagual  himself.
But they are also my girls. Mine!"
     "You  mean that you're  not Pablito's mother and they  are really  your
daughters?"
     "I mean that they are mine. The Nagual gave them to me for safekeeping.
You are always  wrong because you rely on words to explain everything. Since
I am Pablito's mother and you heard that they were my girls, you figured out
that  they  must  be brother  and  sisters.  The girls are my  true  babies.
Pablito, although  he's the  child that came out of  my  womb, is  my mortal
enemy."
     My reaction to her statements was a mixture  of revulsion  and anger. I
thought  that she  was  not only an  aberrated  woman, but a  dangerous one.
Somehow, part of me had known that since the moment I had arrived.
     She  watched me for a long time. To avoid looking at  her I sat down on
the bedspread again.
     "The Nagual warned me about your weirdness," she  said suddenly, "but I
couldn't understand what he meant. Now I know. He  told me to be careful and
not to anger you because you're violent. I'm sorry I was not as careful as I
should've been. He also said that as long as  you  can write you could go to
hell itself and not even feel it. I haven't bothered you about that. Then he
told  me  that  you're suspicious  because words  entangle  you.  I  haven't
bothered you there, either. I've  been  talking my head off,  trying not  to
entangle you."
     There was a silent accusation in her tone.  I felt  somehow embarrassed
at being annoyed with her.
     "What you're telling  me is very  hard to believe," I said. "Either you
or don Juan has lied to me terribly."
     "Neither  of us has lied. You understand  only what  you  want to.  The
Nagual said that that is a condition of your emptiness.
     "The girls are the Nagual's children, just like you and  Eligio are his
children. He  made  six children, four women and  two men. Genaro made three
men. There are nine altogether. One of them, Eligio, already made it, so now
it is up to the eight of you to try."
     "Where did Eligio go?"
     "He went to join the Nagual and Genaro."
     "And where did the Nagual and Genaro go?"
     "You know where they went. You're just kidding me, aren't you?"
     "But that's the point, dona Soledad. I'm not kidding you."
     "Then I will tell you. I can't deny you anything. The Nagual and Genaro
went back  to the same place they came from,  to the other world. When their
time was up they simply  stepped out into the darkness out there,  and since
they did not want to come back, the darkness of the night swallowed them up"
     I felt  it was useless  to probe her any further. I was ready to change
the subject, but she spoke first.
     "You caught a glimpse of the other world when you jumped," she went on.
"But maybe the jump has confused you. Too bad. There is  nothing that anyone
can do about it. It is your  fate to be a  man. Women are better than men in
that  sense.  They don't  have  to jump into an  abyss. Women have their own
ways.  They have  their own abyss. Women menstruate. The Nagual told me that
that was the door for them. During their period they become something  else.
I  know that that was the time when he taught my girls. It  was too late for
me; I'm too old  so I really don't  know what that door looks like.  But the
Nagual insisted that the girls pay attention to everything  that happens  to
them  during that  time.  He would take  them  during those  days  into  the
mountains  and stay  with them there until they would see  the crack between
the worlds.
     "The Nagual, since  he had  no qualms or  fear  about  doing  anything,
pushed them without mercy so they could  find out for themselves  that there
is  a crack in women,  a crack that  they disguise very  well. During  their
period, no matter how well-made the disguise is, it falls away and women are
bare.  The Nagual  pushed my  girls until they  were  half-dead to open that
crack. They did it. He made them do it, but it took them years."
     "How did they become apprentices?"
     "Lidia was his first  apprentice. He found her  one morning when he had
stopped at a disheveled hut in the mountains. The Nagual told me that  there
was no one in sight and yet there had been omens  calling him to that  house
since early morning.  The breeze had bothered him terribly. He said that  he
couldn't even open his eyes every time he tried to walk away from that area.
So when he found the house he knew that something was there. He looked under
a pile of straw and twigs and  found a girl.  She  was very ill.  She  could
hardly talk, but still she told him that she didn't need anyone to help her.
She was going to keep on sleeping there and if she didn't wake up anymore no
one would lose a thing. The Nagual liked her spirit and talked to her in her
language. He told  her that  he  was going to cure her and take care of  her
until  she was  strong  again. She refused.  She was an Indian who had known
only hardships and pain. She told the Nagual that she had already taken  all
the medicine that her parents had given her and nothing helped.
     "The more she talked  the more the Nagual understood  that the omen had
pointed her out to him  in a most  peculiar way.  The  omen was more  like a
command.
     "The Nagual picked the  girl up  and put her on his  shoulders, like  a
child, and brought her to Genaro's place. Genaro made  medicine for her. She
couldn't  open  her eyes  anymore. The lids  were stuck together. They  were
swollen  and had a yellowish crud on  them. They were festering. The  Nagual
tended her until  she was well. He hired  me to look after her  and cook her
meals. I helped her to get well with my food. She is my first baby. When she
was  well, and that  took nearly a year, the Nagual wanted to return  her to
her parents, but the girl refused to go and went with him instead.
     "A short time after he had found Lidia, while she was still sick and in
my care, the Nagual found you. You were brought to him by a man he had never
seen before in his  life. The Nagual saw that the man's  death  was hovering
above his head, and he found it very odd that the man would point you out to
him at such a time. You made the  Nagual laugh and right away the Nagual set
a test for you. He didn't take you, he told you to come and find him. He has
tested you ever  since like he has tested no one else. He said that that was
your path.
     "For three years he had only two apprentices,  Lidia  and you. Then one
day  while he was visiting his friend Vicente, a  curer from the north, some
people  brought in  a  crazy girl, a  girl who did nothing else but cry. The
people took  the Nagual for Vicente  and placed the  girl in  his hands. The
Nagual told me that the girl ran to him and clung to him as if she knew him.
The Nagual told her parents that they had to leave  her with  him. They were
worried about the cost but  the Nagual assured them that it would be free. I
suppose that the girl was  such a pain in the ass to  them that  they didn't
mind getting rid of her.
     "The Nagual brought her to me. That was hell! She was truly crazy. That
was  Josefina. It took  the Nagual years to cure her. But even  to  this day
she's crazier than a  bat.  She  was, of course, crazy  about the Nagual and
there was  a terrible  fight  between Lidia and  Josefina.  They hated  each
other. But I liked them both. But the Nagual, when he saw that they couldn't
get along, became very firm with them.  As you know the Nagual can't get mad
at anyone. So  he scared them half to death. One day Lidia got mad and left.
She had decided to  find  herself  a young husband. On the road  she found a
tiny  chicken. It had just been hatched and  was lost  in the middle  of the
road. Lidia  picked  it up, and  since  she was in a  deserted area  with no
houses around, she figured  that the  chicken belonged to no one. She put it
inside her blouse, in  between her  breasts to keep  it  warm. Lidia told me
that she ran and in  doing so the little chicken began to  move to her side.
She tried to  bring  him back to the front but  she couldn't catch  him. The
chicken ran very fast around her sides and her  back, inside her blouse. The
chicken's feet tickled her at first and then they drove her crazy. When  she
realized that she couldn't get him out, she came back to  me,  screaming out
of  her  mind, and  told  me  to  get the damn thing out  of  her blouse.  I
undressed her but that was to no avail. There was no chicken at all, and yet
she still felt its feet on her skin going around and around.
     "The Nagual  came over then and told her that only when  she  let go of
her old self would  the chicken stop running. Lidia was crazy for three days
and three  nights. The  Nagual  told me to tie her up. I fed her and cleaned
her and gave her water. On the fourth day she became very peaceful and calm.
I  untied her and she put on her clothes  and when she was dressed again, as
she had been the day she ran away, the little chicken came out. She took him
in  her hand and petted and thanked  him and returned him to the place where
she had found him. I walked with her part of the way.
     "From that time on Lidia  never bothered anyone. She accepted her fate.
The Nagual is her fate; without him she would have  been  dead.  So what was
the point of trying to refuse or mold things which can only be accepted?
     "Josefina went off next.  She was already afraid of  what  happened  to
Lidia  but she  soon  forgot  about  it. One Sunday  afternoon, when she was
coming back to the house, a dry leaf got stuck in the threads  of her shawl.
Her shawl  was loosely woven. She tried to  pick out the small leaf, but she
was  afraid  of ruining  her shawl. So when  she  came into  the  house  she
immediately  tried to  loosen  it,  but  there was  no  way,  it was  stuck.
Josefina, in a fit of anger, clutched the shawl and the leaf and crumbled it
inside her hand. She figured that small pieces would be easier to pick  out.
I heard a maddening scream and Josefina fell to the ground. I ran to her and
found that she couldn't open her hand. The leaf  had cut her  hand to shreds
as if it were pieces of a razor blade. Lidia and I helped her and nursed her
for seven  days.  Josefina  was  more stubborn  than anyone else. She nearly
died. At the end she managed to open her hand, but only after she had in her
own  mind resolved to drop  her  old ways. She still gets pains  in her body
from time to time,  especially in her hand, due to the ugly disposition that
still returns to her. The Nagual told both of them that they shouldn't count
on  their  victory because it's a lifetime  struggle that each  of us  wages
against our old selves.
     "Lidia  and Josefina never fought  again.  I don't think they like each
other, but they certainly get  along.  I love those two the most.  They have
been with me all these years. I know that they love me too."
     "What about the other two girls? Where do they fit?"
     "A year later Elena came; she is la Gorda. She was  by far in the worst
condition you could imagine.  She weighed two hundred and twenty pounds. She
was a  desperate  woman. Pablito had given her shelter in his  shop. She did
laundry  and ironing to support herself. The Nagual  came one night  to  get
Pablito and found the fat girl working while a circle of moths flew over her
head. He said that the moths  had made a perfect circle for him to watch. He
saw that the woman was near the end of her life, yet the moths must have had
all the confidence in the world, in order for them to give him such an omen.
The Nagual acted fast and took her with him.
     "She did fine for a while, but the bad habits that she had learned were
too deep and she  couldn't give  them up. So one day the Nagual sent for the
wind to help her. It was a matter of helping her or finishing  her  off. The
wind began to blow on her until it drove her out of the house; she was alone
that  day and no one saw what was happening. The wind pushed  her over hills
and into  ravines  until she fell into a ditch, a hole  in the ground like a
grave. The wind kept  her there for days. When  the Nagual finally found her
she had managed to stop the wind, but she was too weak to walk."
     "How did the girls manage to stop whatever was acting upon them?"
     "Well, in the first place what was acting upon  them was the gourd that
the Nagual carried tied to his belt."
     "And what is in the gourd?"
     "The allies that the Nagual carries with him. He said that the  ally is
funneled  through his gourd.  Don't ask me  any more because  I know nothing
more about  the ally. All  I  can tell you is  that the Nagual commands  two
allies and makes them help him. In the case of my girls the ally backed down
when they were ready to change. For them, of course, it was a case of either
change or death. But that's the case with all of us, one way or another. And
la  Gorda changed more than anyone else.  She was  empty, in fact more empty
than I, but she worked her  spirit until she  became  power  itself. I don't
like  her.  I'm  afraid  of  her. She  knows me. She gets inside me  and  my
feelings and that  bothers me. But no one can do anything to her because she
never  lets her guard down. She doesn't hate me, but she thinks I am an evil
woman. She may be right. I think that she knows me too well, and  I'm not as
impeccable as  I want  to be; but the Nagual told  me  not to worry about my
feelings toward her. She is like Eligio; the world no longer touches her."
     "What did the Nagual do to her that was so special?"
     "He  taught her things he  never taught  anyone else. He never pampered
her or anything  like  that.  He trusted  her.  She knows  everything  about
everybody. The Nagual also told me everything except things about her. Maybe
that's why I don't like her. The Nagual told her to be my jailer. Wherever I
go I find her. She knows whatever I do. Right now,  for instance, I wouldn't
be surprised if she shows up."
     "Do you think she would?"
     "I doubt it. Tonight, the wind is with me."
     "What is she supposed to do? Does she have a special task?"
     "I've  told you enough about  her. I'm afraid that if I keep on talking
about her she will notice me from wherever she is, and  I don't want that to
happen."
     "Tell me, then, about the others."
     "Some years after  he  found la Gorda, the Nagual found Eligio. He told
me that he had gone with you to his homeland. Eligio came to see you because
he was  curious about  you. The Nagual  didn't notice him. He had  known him
since he was a kid. But one morning, as the Nagual walked to the house where
you were waiting  for him,  he bumped  into Eligio on the  road. They walked
together for a  short distance and then a dried piece of cholla got stuck on
the tip of Eligio's left shoe. He tried to kick it loose but its thorns were
like nails; they had gone deep into  the  sole  of the shoe. The Nagual said
that Eligio pointed up to the sky with his finger and shook his foot and the
cholla came off like a bullet and went  up into the air.  Eligio thought  it
was a big joke and laughed, but the Nagual knew that he  had power, although
Eligio himself didn't even suspect it. That is why, with no  trouble at all,
he became the perfect, impeccable warrior.
     "It was my good fortune that I got to know him. The Nagual thought that
both of us were alike in one thing. Once we hook onto something we don't let
go of  it. The good fortune of knowing  Eligio was  a fortune  that I shared
with no one  else, not even  with la Gorda. She met Eligio but didn't really
get to know him, just like yourself. The Nagual knew from the beginning that
Eligio was exceptional and he isolated him. He knew  that  you and the girls
were on one side of the coin  and Eligio was by himself on the  other  side.
The Nagual and Genaro were indeed very fortunate to have found him.
     "I first met him when the Nagual brought him over to  my house.  Eligio
didn't get along with  my  girls. They hated him and feared him too. But  he
was thoroughly indifferent.  The world  didn't touch him. The  Nagual didn't
want you, in particular, to have  much  to do with  Eligio. The Nagual  said
that you are the  kind of sorcerer one should  stay away from.  He said that
your touch doesn't soothe, it spoils instead.  He  told me that  your spirit
takes prisoners. He  was  somehow revolted  by  you and at the  same time he
liked you. He said that you were crazier than Josefina when he found you and
that you still are."
     It was an unsettling feeling to hear  someone else telling  me what don
Juan  thought of me. At  first I tried  to  disregard what dona Soledad  was
saying, but then I felt utterly stupid and out of place trying to protect my
ego.
     "He bothered with you," she went on, "because he was commanded by power
to do so. And he, being the impeccable warrior he was, yielded to his master
and gladly did what power told him to do with you."
     There was  a pause. I  was  aching to ask her  more  about  don  Juan's
feelings about me. I asked her to tell me about her other girl instead.
     "A month after he found Eligio, the Nagual found Rosa," she said. "Rosa
was the last one. Once he found her he knew that his number was complete."
     "How did he find her?"
     "He had  gone  to see  Benigno in his  homeland. He was approaching the
house  when Rosa  came  out  from the thick bushes on the  side of the road,
chasing a pig that had  gotten loose and was running away.  The pig  ran too
fast  for Rosa. She bumped into the Nagual and  couldn't  catch  up with the
pig. She  then turned against the Nagual and began to yell at him. He made a
gesture to  grab her  and she was ready to fight him. She  insulted  him and
dared him to  lay a hand on her. The Nagual liked her spirit immediately but
there was  no omen.  The Nagual said that he  waited a moment before walking
away, and then the pig came running back  and stood beside him. That was the
omen. Rosa put  a rope  around the pig. The Nagual  asked her point-blank if
she was happy in her job. She said no. She was a live-in servant. The Nagual
asked  her if she would  go with him and  she  said that if  it was what she
thought it was for, the answer was  no. The Nagual said it was for work  and
she wanted to know how much  he would pay. He gave her a figure and then she
asked what kind of work it was. The Nagual said that it was to work with him
in the  tobacco fields of  Veracruz.  She told him  then that  she  had been
testing  him; if  he  would have said he wanted her  to work as a  maid, she
would have known that he was a liar, because  he looked like someone who had
never had a home in his life.
     The Nagual was delighted with  her and  told her that if she  wanted to
get out  of the trap  she was in she should come  to Benigno's  house before
noon. He also told her that he would wait no longer than twelve; if she came
she had to be  prepared for a difficult  life and plenty of work.  She asked
him how far was the place of the tobacco fields. The Nagual said three days'
ride in  a  bus. Rosa said that  if it was  that far she  would certainly be
ready to go as soon  as  she  got the pig back in his  pen. And she did just
that.  She  came  here  and  everyone  liked  her.  She  was  never mean  or
bothersome; the Nagual  didn't have to force her or trick her into anything.
She doesn't like me  at all, and yet she takes care of me better than anyone
else. I trust her,  and yet I don't like her at all, and when I leave I will
miss her the most. Can you beat that?"
     I  saw  a  flicker  of  sadness  in  her eyes. I  could not sustain  my
distrust. She wiped her eyes with a casual movement of her hand.
     There was  a natural  break in the conversation at that point.  It  was
getting dark  by then and writing was very difficult; besides I had to go to
the  bathroom. She insisted that I use  the  outhouse before she  did as the
Nagual himself would have done.
     Afterward she brought two round  tubs  the  size of a  child's bathtub,
filled  them  half-full with warm water  and  added some  green leaves after
mashing them thoroughly with her hands. She told me in an authoritative tone
to wash myself in  one of the tubs while she did the same in the  other. The
water had an almost perfumed smell. It caused a ticklish  sensation. It felt
like a mild menthol on my face and arms.
     We went back to her room. She put my writing gear, which I  had left on
her bed, on top of one of  her chests of drawers. The  windows were open and
there was still light. It must have been close to seven.
     Dona Soledad lay on her back. She was smiling at me. I thought that she
was the  picture of warmth. But at the same time  and in spite of her smile,
her eyes gave out a feeling of ruthlessness and unbending force.
     I asked her how long  she  had  been  with  don  Juan as his  woman  or
apprentice. She made fun of  my cautiousness in labeling her. Her answer was
seven years. She reminded me  then that  I had not seen her for five. I  had
been  convinced  up to that point that  I  had seen her two years  before. I
tried to remember the last time, but I could not.
     She  told me to lie down next to her. I knelt on the bed,  by her side.
In  a very soft voice she asked me if I was afraid. I said no, which was the
truth. There in her room, at that moment, I  was being confronted  by an old
response of mine, which had manifested itself  countless times, a mixture of
curiosity and suicidal indifference.
     Almost in a whisper  she said that she had to be impeccable with me and
tell  me that  our meeting was crucial for both  of  us. She  said that  the
Nagual had given her direct and detailed orders of what to do. As she talked
I could not help laughing at her tremendous effort to sound like don Juan. I
listened to her statements and could predict what she would say next.
     Suddenly she  sat  up. Her face was a few inches from mine. I could see
her white teeth shining  in the semidarkness of the  room.  She put her arms
around me in an embrace and pulled me on top of her.
     My mind was very  clear, and yet  something  was leading me deeper  and
deeper into a  sort of morass. I was  experiencing myself as something I had
no  conception of.  Suddenly I knew that  I  had, somehow,  been feeling her
feelings all  along.  She was  the strange  one.  She had mesmerized me with
words. She  was a cold,  old woman. And her designs were not those of  youth
and vigor, in spite of her vitality and strength.  I knew then that don Juan
had not turned her head in the  same direction as mine. That  thought  would
have been  ridiculous  in any other  context; nonetheless,  at that moment I
took  it  as a  true insight. A feeling of  alarm swept  through  my body. I
wanted  to get out of her bed. But there seemed to be an extraordinary force
around me that kept me fixed, incapable of moving away. I was paralyzed.
     She must have felt  my realization. All of a sudden she pulled the band
that tied her hair and in one swift movement she wrapped  it around my neck.
I felt the tension of the band on my skin, but somehow it did not seem real.
     Don Juan had always said to me that our great enemy is the fact that we
never  believe  what is happening  to  us.  At  the moment dona  Soledad was
wrapping the cloth like  a noose around my throat, I knew what he meant. But
even after I had  had that intellectual reflection, my body did not react. I
remained flaccid, almost indifferent to what seemed to be my death.
     I felt the exertion of her arms and shoulders as she tightened the band
around my neck. She was choking me with great force and expertise.  I  began
to gasp. Her  eyes stared at me with a maddening glare. I knew then that she
intended to kill me.
     Don  Juan had said that when we finally realize what is going on it  is
usually too late to turn back. He contended that it is always the  intellect
that fools us, because it receives the message first, but rather than giving
it credence and acting on it immediately, it dallies with it instead.
     I  heard  then, or perhaps I felt, a snapping sound  at the base  of my
neck, right behind my windpipe. I knew that she had cracked my neck. My ears
buzzed  and  then they  tingled.  I  experienced  an exceptional clarity  of
hearing. I thought that  I  must  be dying.  I loathed  my incapacity to  do
anything to defend myself. I could not even move a muscle to kick her. I was
unable to breathe anymore. My body shivered, and suddenly I stood up and was
free, out  of her  deadly  grip.  I looked down  on the bed. I seemed to  be
looking down from the ceiling. I saw my body, motionless and limp on  top of
hers. I saw horror in her eyes. I wanted her to let go of the noose. I had a
fit of wrath for  having  been so stupid  and hit  her smack on the forehead
with my fist. She shrieked and held her head and then passed out, but before
she  did I caught a fleeting glimpse of a  phantasmagoric  scene. I saw dona
Soledad being hurled  out of the bed  by the  force  of my blow.  I  saw her
running toward the wall and huddling up against it like a frightened child.
     The  next impression I  had was  of having  a  terrible  difficulty  in
breathing. My neck hurt. My throat seemed to have dried up so intensely that
I could not swallow. It took me a long time to gather enough strength to get
up. I then  examined dona Soledad. She was lying unconscious on the bed. She
had an enormous red lump on her  forehead. I got  some water and splashed it
on her face,  the way don Juan had  always done  with  me. When she regained
consciousness I made her walk, holding her by the armpits. She was soaked in
perspiration. I  applied towels with cold  water on her  forehead. She threw
up, and I was almost sure  she had a brain  concussion. She was shivering. I
tried to pile clothes and blankets over her for warmth but  she took off all
her clothes and turned her body to  face the wind. She asked me to leave her
alone and said that if the  wind changed direction, it would be a  sign that
she was going to get well. She held my hand in a sort of brief handshake and
told me that it was fate that had pitted us against each other.
     "I think one of us was supposed to die tonight," she said.
     "Don't be silly. You're not finished yet," I said and really meant it.
     Something  made  me  feel confident  that  she was  all  right. I  went
outside,  picked up a stick  and walked to my car. The  dog growled.  He was
still  curled up on  the seat. I told him to get out. He meekly jumped  out.
There was something different about  him. I saw his enormous shape  trotting
away in the semidarkness. He went to his corral.
     I was free. I sat in the car for a moment to deliberate. No,  I was not
free.  Something  was  pulling me  back  into  the house.  I  had unfinished
business  there.  I  was no  longer  afraid  of dona  Soledad.  In  fact, an
extraordinary indifference had  taken possession of me.  I felt that she had
given me, deliberately or unconsciously, a supremely important lesson. Under
the horrendous pressure of her attempt to kill me, I had actually acted upon
her  from  a  level  that  would  have   been  inconceivable   under  normal
circumstances. I had nearly been strangled;  something  in  that  confounded
room  of hers  had rendered me helpless and yet  I had extricated myself.  I
could not imagine what had  happened. Perhaps it  was as don Juan had always
maintained, that all of us have an extra potential, something which is there
but rarely  gets to be used. I had  actually hit dona Soledad from a phantom
position.
     I  took my flashlight from  the car, went back into the house, lit  all
the kerosene lanterns I could  find and  sat  down at the table in the front
room to write. Working relaxed me.
     Toward  dawn dona Soledad  stumbled out  of her room.  She could hardly
keep her balance. She was completely naked. She became ill and  collapsed by
the door.  I gave her some water  and tried to cover her with a blanket. She
refused it. I became concerned with the possibility of her losing body heat.
She muttered that she had to be naked if she expected the wind to  cure her.
She made a plaster of mashed leaves, applied it to her forehead and fixed it
in place with her turban. She wrapped a blanket  around her body and came to
the table where I was writing and sat down facing me. Her eyes were red. She
looked truly sick.
     "There is something I must tell  you,"  she said in a  weak voice. "The
Nagual  set me  up  to wait  for you; I had  to  wait even if it took twenty
years. He gave me instructions on how to entice you and steal your power. He
knew  that sooner or later you had to come to see Pablito and Nestor, so  he
told me to use that opportunity to bewitch you and take everything you have.
The Nagual  said that if I lived an impeccable life my power would bring you
here when there would  be no one else in the house. My power did that. Today
you came when everybody was gone. My impeccable life had helped me. All that
was left for me to do was to take your power and then kill you."
     "But why would you want to do such a horrible thing?"
     "Because I need your power for my own journey. The Nagual had to set it
up that way. You had to be the one; after all, I really don't  know you. You
mean nothing to me. So why shouldn't I take something  I need so desperately
from someone who doesn't count at all? Those were the Nagual's very words."
     "Why  would  the  Nagual want  to hurt  me?  You yourself said that  he
worried about me."

     "What I've done to you tonight has nothing to do with what he feels for
you or myself.  This  is  only  between  the two of  us. There have  been no
witnesses to what took place today between the two of us, because both of us
are part of the Nagual himself. But you in particular have received and kept
something of him that I don't have, something that I  need  desperately, the
special power that he  gave you. The Nagual said that he had given something
to each  of his six children. I can't reach Eligio.  I can't take it from my
girls, so that leaves you as my  prey.  I made the  power the Nagual gave me
grow,  and  in growing it  changed my body. You made your power  grow too. I
wanted that power from you and for that I had to  kill you. The  Nagual said
that  even if you didn't die, you  would fall under  my spell  and become my
prisoner for life if I wanted it so. Either way, your power was going  to be
mine."
     "But how could my death benefit you?"
     "Not  your  death  but  your power. I  did  it because I need a  boost;
without it I will have  a hellish time  on my  journey.  I don't have enough
guts. That's why I dislike la Gorda. She's young and has plenty of guts. I'm
old  and have second thoughts and doubts. If you want to know the truth, the
real struggle is between Pablito and myself. He is my mortal enemy, not you.
The Nagual said that your power could make my journey easier and help me get
what I need."
     "How on earth can Pablito be your enemy?"
     "When the  Nagual changed  me,  he  knew  what would eventually happen.
First of all, he set me up so my eyes would face the north, and although you
and  my  girls are the  same,  I am the opposite of  you people. I  go  in a
different direction. Pablito, Nestor and Benigno are with you; the direction
of their eyes is  the same  as yours. All  of  you  will go together  toward
Yucatan.
     "Pablito is my  enemy  not because  his eyes were  set in  the opposite
direction, but because he  is my  son. This is  what I had to tell you, even
though you don't know what I  am talking about. I have  to  enter  into  the
other world. Where the Nagual is now. Where Genaro and Eligio  are now. Even
if I have to destroy Pablito to do that."
     "What are you saying, dona Soledad? You're crazy! "
     "No,  I am  not. There is  nothing more  important for us living beings
than to enter into that world. I will tell you that for me that is true.  To
get  to that world I live  the way the Nagual taught me. Without the hope of
that  world I am nothing, nothing. I was  a fat old cow. Now that hope gives
me a  guide, a direction, and even if  I can't take your power, I still have
my purpose."
     She rested her head on the table, using her arms as a pillow. The force
of her statements had numbed  me. I had not understood what exactly  she had
meant, but  I  could almost  empathize with  her plea, although  it  was the
strangest thing  I had  yet  heard from her that night.  Her  purpose was  a
warrior's  purpose, in  don  Juan's  style  and  terminology. I  never knew,
however, that one had to destroy people in order to fulfill it.
     She lifted up her head and looked at me with half-closed eyelids.
     "At  the beginning everything worked fine for  me today,"  she said. "I
was a bit scared when you drove up. I had waited years for  that moment. The
Nagual told me  that you like women. He said you are an easy prey for  them,
so I played you for a quick finish. I figured that you would  go for it. The
Nagual had  taught me how  I  should grab you at the moment when you are the
weakest.  I was  leading you  to  that moment  with  my body. But you became
suspicious. I was too clumsy. I had taken you to my room, as the Nagual told
me to do, so the  lines of my  floor would entrap you and make you helpless.
But you fooled my floor by  liking it and by watching its lines intently. It
had no power as long as your eyes were  on its lines. Your body knew what to
do. Then you scared  my floor, yelling the  way you did. Sudden  noises like
that are deadly, especially the voice of a sorcerer. The  power of my  floor
died out like a flame. I knew it, but you didn't.
     "You were about to leave then  so I  had to stop  you.  The Nagual  had
shown me how to use my hand to  grab you. I  tried to  do that, but my power
was  low. My floor was scared. Your eyes  had numbed its lines. No  one else
has ever laid eyes on them. So I failed in my attempt to grab your neck. You
got out of my grip before I had time to  squeeze  you. I  knew then that you
were slipping away and I  tried one final attack.  I used the key the Nagual
said would affect you the most, fright. I frightened you with my shrieks and
that gave me enough power to subdue you. I thought I had you, but  my stupid
dog got excited. He's stupid and knocked me off of you when I had you almost
under my spell. As I see it now, perhaps my dog was not so stupid after all.
Maybe  he noticed your  double and  charged against  it  but knocked me over
instead."
     "You said he wasn't your dog."
     "I lied.  He  was my  trump card. The Nagual  taught  me that  I should
always have a trump card, an unsuspected trick. Somehow, I knew that I might
need my dog. When I took you to see my friend, it was really him; the coyote
is my  girls' friend. I wanted my dog  to sniff you. When you  ran into  the
house I  had to be rough with him. I  pushed him inside your car, making him
yell with pain. He's too big and could hardly  fit over the seat. I told him
right then to  maul you to shreds. I knew that if you had been  badly bitten
by my dog  you would have been helpless  and I could  have finished  you off
without any trouble. You escaped again,  but you couldn't leave the house. I
knew then that I had to  be patient and wait for the darkness. Then the wind
changed direction and I was sure of my success.
     "The  Nagual had told me that he  knew  without  a doubt that you would
like  me  as a woman. It  was a  matter of waiting for the right moment. The
Nagual said that you would kill yourself once you realized I had stolen your
power.  But  in case  I  failed to  steal  it, or  in case you  didn't  kill
yourself, or  in  case I  didn't want to keep  you  alive as  my prisoner, I
should then use my headband  to choke  you to death.  He  even showed me the
place where I had to throw  your carcass: a bottomless pit, a  crack in  the
mountains, not too far  from here, where goats always disappear. The  Nagual
never mentioned your awesome side,  though. I've told you that one of us was
supposed to  die  tonight. I  didn't know it was  going to be me. The Nagual
gave  me the  feeling that I  would win.  How  cruel of him  not to  tell me
everything about you."
     "Think of me, dona Soledad. I knew even less than you did."
     "It's  not the same. The Nagual prepared me  for years for this. I knew
every detail. You were  in my bag. The Nagual even showed  me  the leaves  I
should always  keep fresh and handy to make you numb. I  put them in the tub
as if they were for fragrance. You didn't notice that I used another kind of
leaf for my tub.  You fell for  everything I had prepared  for  you. And yet
your awesome side won in the end."
     "What do you mean my awesome side?"
     "The one that hit me and will kill  me tonight. Your  horrendous double
that  came out to  finish me.  I will never forget it and if I live, which I
doubt, I will never be the same."
     "Did it look like me?"
     "It  was you,  of  course, but not as you look now.  I can't really say
what it looked like. When I want to think about it I get dizzy."
     I told her about my fleeting perception that she had left her body with
the impact of my blow. I intended to prod her with the account. It seemed to
me that the reason behind the whole event had been  to force us to draw from
sources  that are  ordinarily  barred  to us. I had positively given  her  a
dreadful blow; I had caused profound damage to her body, and yet I could not
have  done  it myself.  I  did feel I  had hit  her  with my  left fist, the
enormous red lump on her forehead attested to that, yet I had no swelling in
my knuckles  or the  slightest  pain or discomfort in  them. A blow of  that
magnitude could even have broken my hand.
     Upon hearing my description of  how I had seen her huddling against the
wall, she became thoroughly  desperate.  I asked  her  if she  had  had  any
inkling  of what I had seen, such as a  sensation of leaving her body, or  a
fleeting perception of the room.
     "I know now that I am doomed," she said. "Very  few  survive a touch of
the double. If my soul has left already I won't survive. I'll get weaker and
weaker until I die."
     Her eyes  had a wild glare. She  raised herself and seemed to be on the
verge of striking me, but she slumped back.
     "You've taken my soul," she said. "You must have it  in your pouch now.
Why did you have to tell me, though?"
     I swore to her that  I had had no intentions of hurting her, that I had
acted in whatever form  only in self-defense and  therefore I bore no malice
toward her.
     "If you don't have my soul  in your pouch, it's  even worse," she said.
"It must be roaming aimlessly around. I will never get it back, then."
     Dona  Soledad seemed  to  be void of energy. Her voice became weaker. I
wanted her to go and lie down. She refused to leave the table.
     "The Nagual said that if I failed completely I should then give you his
message," she said. "He told me to tell you that he had replaced your body a
long time ago. You are himself now."
     "What did he mean by that?"
     "He's  a  sorcerer. He  entered into  your  old body  and replaced  its
luminosity. Now you shine like the Nagual himself.  You're not your father's
son anymore. You are the Nagual himself."
     Dona  Soledad  stood  up.  She was groggy. She appeared to  want to say
something else but had trouble vocalizing. She walked to  her room. I helped
her to the door; she did not want me to enter. She dropped the  blanket that
covered  her  and  lay down on her  bed. She asked in a very soft voice if I
would go to a  hill a short distance away and watch from there to see if the
wind  was coming.  She added  in a most casual manner that I should take her
dog with me.  Somehow her request did not sound  right.  I said that I would
climb up on the roof and look from there. She turned her back to me and said
that