r eyes changed immediately, there was fear there. Now it was the driver's turn to laugh, because in case he let it go, there would be no survivors inside the car. Of course, the bandits said it was a joke, that they would pay and leave, but he said that it was his turn to make a joke. He agreed to let them go after searching their pockets and confiscating the weaponry and wallets they had. As a result, he had a gun, 2 daggers and the wallets but without money and IDs, having mentioned that his relatives would find them, just in case, but he kept the gun. By saying that he got into the car and left but he couldn't find the pin inside the car for the light inside was rather poor. So, he didn't want to risk. Having noticed a ditch away from the road, he dropped the grenade there. That was the way how the trade in took place. As for me, I highly evaluated his method of self defense and some time later even used it, not once. Luckly, I didn't have to pull out the pin. But I can't say I was lucky all the time. One day I was giving a ride to my friend in a microregion (a remote part of the city).I pulled over a small street market to drop him off and was supposed to wait for him to finish his business. Suddenly I noticed an elderly "jackal" in civilian clothes unsteadily heading to my direction. It was absolutely clear that there was nothing good to expect of such an encounter. I looked around carefully, it seemed like nobody paid attention to me. Loaded my shortgun just in case and put it between the seats. He came up to my car. - You, kike! Take me to the sixth Microregion. I started to talk with him as if he were a mental patient trying not to anger him. - You see, pal. I've run out of gas and have enough only to reach my garage. So, I'm sorry, but I can't do that.By the way, I'm not a kike, I'm a Cossack, if you want to know. - I told you, kike, if you don't take me there, I'll drop a grenade into your f...g car and you'll die! I tried to look at him more attentively, maybe he was saying the truth, maybe in one of his big pockets he had a grenade or maybe it was simply a threat, he just had an apple there. Anyway, it didn't look like a gun. How on earth could I know?! Well, of course, it would be hard to escape from "Zapor", that was true. One more time I looked around. Nobody was seemed to watch us. That was good. I put my shortgun into a vertical position with the barrels to the car door and pointed it directly to his stomach. - You really need to know the difference between kikes and Cossacks. And now you go away from my car facing me and even don't try to move aside. Mind, I shoot perfectly well. He sobbered up very quickly and his face became pale. - Yeah... You are not a kike, OK. But I'll catch you one day and... I started the car with my left hand and slowly drove away. Twenty, thirty meters more driving with a shortgun out of the car door. It was very inconvenient to drive and to hold the gun at the same time but I was lucky to escape. Looking into the rear view window, I saw him standing motionlessly. Thanks God. It was my lucky day. In March I stated categorically to my mother-in-law: either we sell our apartment and leave, or I take my wife by force to Zagorsk. I told her if she liked to stay and get killed it was her choice, but we didn't want to get killed there. She understood how serious I was inspite of her whining. I also warned her not to influence my wife's decision, not to get on her nerves, it was all too hard for my wife. Enough is enough. Walking on the street was a gamble, you never knew where you could get shot. Public transportation started to die, too. The glass windows of the streetcars were broken, in some spots there were bullet holes. To reach the local market, the only source of groceries, was a risky gamble, too. Of course, at first sight everything around looked almost peaceful, but the stootings could start at any moment because there were more armed men on the streets than unarmed ones, and moreover, there were enough drug addicts among the armed ones. I called my boss in Zagorsk, explained the situation and got his approval for my delay. It was extremely hard to find a buyer. Everything depended on the safety. But after a month of intensive search we found one among our half-acquaintances. I tried to tell him how I hated surprises and how I always tried to be "ready", he seemed to have understood. We agreed that he would pay us on the day of our departure and in return he would get all the papers because our apartment was already privatized on my wife's name and all the necessary papers were ready. I charged a security deposit and started to get ready for the depatrure. The main problem was the container but to find it was next to impossible. As for my mother-in-law, she didn't want to part with her stuff, so I had to solve the problem. Using some of my friends' leads and money, I managed to find a small container but the price for it was exorbitant. To load all the belongings into it was really very hard for all my friends were already gone. Somehow of other, I managed to ask some young guys who still stayed there to help me load the container. Of course, I had to pay for the job done. Train tickets also appeared to be a big problem. But we managed it. On the day of our departure, the buyer came over and paid us only half of the money we agreed on. Taking into consideration the security deposit I charged him, I got only half of the money. He started to complain that all his money was in some kind of business venture and that he didn't have cash. I understood that that was all we could get from him and nothing more we could ask about. So it happened. We agreed that we would hand him over the papers in return for his money in Moscow. One more problem - our family cat Teddy. We couldn't neuter him in time although we searched for a qualified vet for a long time. His mating became really a big problem and we understood that it would be impossible to take him and my disabled mother-in-law on a train to Moscow.One of our acquaintances who owned a nearby small house agreed to foster him. We used to pay visits there seeing him, often bringing over some of his favorite snacks. In two weeks he had changed a lot, got used to outdoor life and activities and didn't seem to recognize us. He also was a part of our life and however regretful it could have been, we had to part with him forever. The container arrived and we almost started to load it when my mother-in-law became hysterical. She refused to leave without the remaining money, she just wanted to get paid in full. I finally lost my temper. All the day I had my hands full with managing our departure, and her stupid trick seemed to take the wind out of my sails. I understood I was at the end of my rope, but couldn't help it. Having pulled out my gun, I yelled at her like crazy threatening to kill her. My fury was beyong my control. Thanks to my wife she stopped me at that moment seizing my arm. My mother-in-law got dumb with fear and immediately stopped her hysteria. After that everything went smoothly. My helpers were loading the container with all the stuff which my mother-in-law wanted to take, but as it appeared later almost all that stuff was rubbish we threw away later in Zagorsk. We hoped that the container would reach its destination safely, yes, we had to hope. We didn't have any choice at that time. Some pieces of furniture were left and we had to call some of our acquaintances to come over and take them if they needed. The mother-in-law started to haggle with the buyers, she wanted to get as much money as she could. But as for me, I would have donated an those pieces of furniture to people who needed them because I knew people didn't have almost any money. Inspite of my protests and interference, she managed to make some money, but I don't think it really made her richer. At night, the car which ordered our buyer arrived and we went to the railway station. Our compartment appeared to be occupied by some passengers, so the buyer and myself had to settle down that problem. Of course, he was interested in our departure as soon as possible. At last, we got into our compartment, locked the door and departed. Our Grozny life period had finished luckily. We knew that we were leaving our native land forever, the land where we lived most part of our lives, the land where our relatives and friends were burried. When we arrived in Moscow the next day it was reported in the news that chechen tanks started to storm Grozny and several buildings were destroyed. With the money we had, we didn't manage to buy even a bachelor apartment, thanks God I was entitled to an apartment at my job place - the health resort. And our life went on... EPILOGUE What happened later? The fate of refugees in their own country is one of the millions. Wandering in Moscow Region, forceful emmigration and the "farewell" of Eltsin's regime as the deprivation of Russian citizenship... Some years later - Canadian citizenship for which a high price of Western "democracy" had been paid, and eventually life and work in Korea where I wrote this story. (November, 2000)