I feel like I'm committing suicide

I'm living through this life and through these people
This is the strangest life I ever find
Sometimes when I awake in early morning, seems,
Lord! I feel like I'm committing suicide.

I know that I was born to take Manhattan
The years have lessened strength but not my pride
But I drink too much and play guitar too little
Lord! I feel like I'm committing suicide.

When everybody wants of me some changes
It's getting hard to keep the steady stride
I'm changing all for good but not for better
Lord! I feel like I'm committing suicide.

I fear not death but I'm afraid of judgement
I know me for a sinner out of guide
Enlighten me with righteous way to freedom,
Lord! I feel like I'm committing suicide.

I wear a name that means right next to nothing
I'm ridden by the tides I cannot ride
And even now when I shout out my prayer,
Lord! I feel like I'm committing suicide.

{12.03.96}
(c) Stepan M. Pechkin 1996